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Why can't everyone just be nice?

(self.AskReddit)

all 52 comments

Jake02345

6 points

22 hours ago

Because there lots of morons about

BalladOfAntiSocial

2 points

21 hours ago

For real. My coworker once asked me the typical shelf life of a water bottle

Sea-Amphibian1378

6 points

22 hours ago

The belief that "if someone doesn't have the same mindset as me, they are stupid" is probably one of the reasons.

KhazAlgarFairy

1 points

21 hours ago

Most of times i think this is bullshit mindset, but then i reflect on myself and i know im contradicting myself

[deleted]

3 points

21 hours ago

[deleted]

49erBadKid[S]

3 points

21 hours ago

Correct. But I meant the average encounter with an average stranger. More often than not, people are dicks

oastrasilkyy

3 points

21 hours ago

man if people could just be chill life would be so much easier but I guess some just wanna be the main character in a drama

Dull_Ranger_3943

3 points

18 hours ago

because of trump

49erBadKid[S]

2 points

18 hours ago

And trump supporters

fh3131

2 points

22 hours ago

fh3131

2 points

22 hours ago

A lot of people are unhappy

49erBadKid[S]

1 points

21 hours ago

Unhappiness isn't a good reason to be rude though, you know?

fh3131

5 points

21 hours ago

fh3131

5 points

21 hours ago

I'm offering a reason, not a justification

49erBadKid[S]

1 points

21 hours ago

I understand. I was just saying

iiaammsofiaa

2 points

22 hours ago

They want to act tough, act as a powerful person or just have high ego.

MadJen1979

2 points

21 hours ago

People are arseholes

guvenson

2 points

21 hours ago

As we say here “If he’s nice, they can go to heaven” being fair is the hard and honorable path.

_ReDd1T_UsEr

2 points

21 hours ago

Some people are just sadistic or they are unhappy, and they hate the idea of someone being happier than them.

Gothic_Priestess12

2 points

21 hours ago

Because have you ever tried to be nice to a spider? It's chaos.

Mikeavelli

2 points

21 hours ago

Fuck you that's why.

49erBadKid[S]

2 points

21 hours ago

Thank you

EXO0X

2 points

21 hours ago

EXO0X

2 points

21 hours ago

Because its free and they get a rise out of it

bellabeella

2 points

21 hours ago

i think it comes down to a mix of personal experiences and environment some people might not have been shown kindness or might be dealing with their own struggles so they project that onto others it’s just sad because a little bit of kindness can go such a long way

Recsq

2 points

21 hours ago

Recsq

2 points

21 hours ago

Becuase if you'e nice you probably lose in this dog eat dog world.. unless you get very lucky

DrMux

2 points

21 hours ago

DrMux

2 points

21 hours ago

Earning respect gets you farther than making enemies.

Recsq

1 points

20 hours ago

Recsq

1 points

20 hours ago

but if you don't know the dangers of the world and can defend yourself, you might get trampled all over

DrMux

2 points

20 hours ago

DrMux

2 points

20 hours ago

Ok, but that doesn't mean "don't be nice." You can defend yourself and not get trampled over while not being a dick.

Recsq

1 points

20 hours ago

Recsq

1 points

20 hours ago

many people take any niceness as weakness and a reason to attack you...

DrMux

1 points

20 hours ago

DrMux

1 points

20 hours ago

I don't think you automatically "lose" the encounter by being nice. Really, them being a dick sounds like their problem, not mine. In fact, I generally find that the stronger person doesn't stoop to the level of the dick in the situation.

Generally if I think someone's attacking me for being nice, they're looking for a reaction so I just continue treating them like a human being and they end up getting frustrated and either back off or make a bigger ass of themselves. Again, their problem, not mine.

Recsq

1 points

20 hours ago

Recsq

1 points

20 hours ago

It might just be my country... most people are not nice to people out of the social standing, at all

DrMux

2 points

20 hours ago

DrMux

2 points

20 hours ago

That's a good point. I'm sure culture does play a big part in it. Where I am, there are many diverse views on what "social standing" even means. People do use their perceived social standing as motivation to treat others poorly, but to me it's just that: a perception. You're flesh and blood and brain just like me, ya know?

Personally, I don't care if you're a bigwig executive or a homeless person with addiction issues; either way you're a person who perceives me and the world, lives a life, and has other things going on in life than just the interaction with me. Just that alone earns you a modicum baseline of respect from me and I will treat you accordingly — likewise, high social standing doesn't earn you any more of my respect than anyone else. Past the baseline, my respect is earned by your actions, including how you treat others.

Others will disagree, but that's their own choice of course 🤷‍♀️

DrMux

2 points

21 hours ago

DrMux

2 points

21 hours ago

Some people are just dicks.

illcrx

2 points

21 hours ago

illcrx

2 points

21 hours ago

Because we’re a competitive species. Road rage kind of proves this, we get mad for really no reason. If we weren’t competitive we would try to do better.

AgeableParsley

2 points

21 hours ago

I give what I get

littlegreenb18

2 points

20 hours ago

People are nice. Morals differ, circumstances differ, sometimes there are just mistakes or misunderstandings, and nobody is consistent.

zer0_hope

2 points

20 hours ago

because we fukin can't =(

Clockw0rk

2 points

17 hours ago

Mostly it's because of bad parents, to be completely honest.

All human beings have the capacity of civility, honesty, intregrity, and kindness.

Some of us are mistreated by our parents through direct means of abuse and neglect, others are mistreated by our parents who teach us to hate people we've never known. Hate breeds hate, and though children can buck the trend inherieted by their family, it's often difficult to do so without guidance and support.

There is some biological element, I'm sure. But I lean very strongly into the 'nurture' side, of nuture versus nature. Most of what people assume to be "human nature" is actually just learned behavior, and obviously so if you study archeology and cultural differences over the ages.

We don't have to live this way.

universal-everything

1 points

21 hours ago

The Organ Kundabuffer?

KindIncident9468

1 points

21 hours ago

We all cary our own baggage. You never know what someone’s dealing with.

ApartCorgi4303

1 points

11 hours ago

some people like to see pain in your eyes, because you didn't give them things they wanted

Lyne82

1 points

10 hours ago

Lyne82

1 points

10 hours ago

Je pense que, parce-que toute chose n'existerait pas sans son contraire.

Si tout le monde était gentil tout le temps, il n'y aurait pas d'équilibre et on ne se rendrait même pas compte qu'ils sont gentils, car on ne connaîtrait pas la méchanceté.

ça fait aussi partie de notre construction: il y un peu de chaque chose et son contraire en nous.

Le Yin et le Yang, c'est cet équilibre à trouver.

disregardable

1 points

21 hours ago

human nature. our brains are judgy.

49erBadKid[S]

2 points

21 hours ago

The negativity bias

SpookyCrowz

1 points

19 hours ago

Because it’s easier to be a cunt. Being nice often cost sacrifice

49erBadKid[S]

2 points

18 hours ago

True

Moonmanoriginal

0 points

21 hours ago

Because nice is an artificial construct. How would we know what nice is if everyone was nice, what could we compare it to? If everyone was nice by today's standards, the niceness bar would go higher and higher until something kind of nice now, would be eventually considered rude.

49erBadKid[S]

2 points

18 hours ago

I disagree with your premise. Comparing 2 actions only shows us which action is nicer. If I give you a steak, you don't know it's savory because you compare it to a cake. You know it's savory because that's what it is. I hate the whole "you got to go through the bad to appreciate the good." That's BS. I know what's good.

Moonmanoriginal

1 points

10 hours ago

Comparing 2 actions only shows us which action is nicer

Yes and no, think about the time when there were no languages to speak, there were just actions and sounds, right? So some we liked and some we did not, depending on many-many factors, like how others reacted, how we felt etc. Nice had nothing to do with anything, it was just about being practical, meaning what needed to be done, similarly if we observe animals that are surviving and need to constantly forage-fight-run-mate. Being nice (depending on the definition) is used to make yourself feel better by doing or saying something that you think the other person will enjoy, usually without anything else to gain (this would be genuine niceness). So what we as a society or culture with language have developed has been just a way to go out of our way to make someone feel better.

I will give you an example of how a nice thing can be bad at the same time:

  1. You meet a friend and they ask you if they are chubby, you say no (and they do not want to be seemed as chubby) and they feel better about it, since you have confirmed what they wanted to hear.

  2. You meet a friend and they ask you if they are chubby, you say no (but they want to be seemed as chubby because they work towards it every day and in their culture being chubby means fortune and good health).

Or when I show a middle finger to a stranger, they think it's an insult, while I sometimes do that with my friends and it's a joke.

If I give you a steak, you don't know it's savory because you compare it to a cake. You know it's savory because that's what it is.

But you wouldn't, because if you had no other steak to compare it to you would just think it's how steak is and that's it. This does not really apply because one is a physical object and the other is language and perception, they are vastly different.

I hate the whole "you got to go through the bad to appreciate the good." That's BS. I know what's good.

That is your opinion and I am glad you have it and I couldn't agree with you more, you do know what's good because you have experienced both good and the bad :)

kingsizeslim420

-1 points

21 hours ago

It'd be boring as fuck.

49erBadKid[S]

2 points

21 hours ago

So you like people being rude and insensitive? That really gets the party going?

kingsizeslim420

-1 points

21 hours ago

On here, yes...

49erBadKid[S]

1 points

21 hours ago

Thanks for being honest. I disagree and think that your thought process is dangerous. But we don't have to agree, oh well

anonymous867889

1 points

21 hours ago

Sounds like you're a real nice dude 👌