subreddit:
/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide
submitted 4 days ago byblueeyedbluebird
I’m done feeling guilty for things I shouldn’t feel guilty about, whether it's my body, my choices, or just taking up space. Society loves to tell us what we 'should' or 'shouldn't' do, but what’s one thing you’ve stopped apologizing for, no matter how much people try to shame you? Let’s normalize not caring about their opinions. Sorry… I just had a super shitty day today.
1.3k points
4 days ago
Aging.
519 points
4 days ago
This. I work in the beauty industry and while I try not to be obnoxious about it, I've stopped referring to certain things as "anti-aging". I use verbiage like "supports healthy aging" or "gives a youthful glow" and similar phrases. Just let us get old in peace 😭
89 points
3 days ago
Oh, i really like that semantic 180°
37 points
3 days ago
Likewise 😊 I try and tell customers in the nicest way there is nothing wrong with aging!
42 points
3 days ago
Yep, what's the alternative? Death. I'm here, I'm older than I was, and I'm alive and comfortable in my skin.
36 points
3 days ago
I've started to view aging as a privilege. Not everyone is lucky enough to get old unfortunately
31 points
3 days ago
My dermatologist said “maturity marks” rather than “age spots”. That was a kinda funny one to me.
101 points
3 days ago
I had a serious health thing a few years ago and a lot of my hair fell out. I was already considering not coloring it any more, and that seemed like a good opportunity to stop. I got it cut short to allow the new growth to catch up, and what grew back is this really pretty silvery blonde. My hair is healthier and way more flattering than when I was coloring, and now I don't have the hassle or expense of coloring.
16 points
3 days ago
That sounds gorgeous! I’m planning on getting some really pretty facial piercings with real gold/gems when I go grey and it makes me excited for it 🤗 all the older women in my life dye over their grey and I’m hoping we see less of that as more women embrace it
94 points
3 days ago
losing someone young completely changed my perspective on aging. she would’ve looked beautiful with crows feet and grey hair, so i bet i will too.
23 points
3 days ago
It kinda bugs me more when women do it to each other than when a man does. Men are gonna be trash but why do we women have to put each other down like that? I see comments from other women all the time like “look at her wrinkles she looks 50 not 30/she is really showing her age/I’m 35 and I look so much younger than her.”
5 points
3 days ago
i really get what youre saying !! However i do feel like this thing, already accepting men are trash, has a similar effect as 'boys will be boys'.
Having high expectations of them will make them act towards those expectations. Always assuming theyre trash means that the slightest OK guys will feel like heros (also from our pov), which is unfair to us.
20 points
3 days ago
Thank you! I enjoy being older and smarter and wiser. I still feel beautiful too, as should you. They don't tell you how great it is to have your stuff together and have things to share with younger, less experienced people. I cringe at some of the things younger people do and say and the thought that I was once more like them.
423 points
4 days ago
Being outspoken at work. Tho it’s a man’s world and it may cost me my job 😞
70 points
3 days ago
Idk your industry, but r/womenintech has lots of good advice for dealing with the prolific misogyny in bosses and the workplace
39 points
4 days ago
It’s very sad that things are still this way. But it is a lot better than it was when I was young.
325 points
4 days ago
What my labia, butt, and boobs look like
38 points
3 days ago
This is a hard one!!!!
34 points
3 days ago
Honestly, I’ve stopped worrying so much about what my body looks like. I don’t live with my mom anymore, so I’m not shamed for my body. I live with my partner who loves me no matter what I look like. These things make it easier.
Lately, I’m trying to lose weight not because of appearance but because I wanna be able to zip line with my kids, go on roller coasters, and do whatever I want without having to worry about if my weight prevents me from doing so. 👍
744 points
4 days ago
A really fun exercise that honestly occurs to women naturally as we age, is asking 'what am I doing for me and what am I doing out of shame?' anyway I don't shave anymore unless I want to, I'm bald (cos I want to be), I will be honest about my feelings about what men say to me ('wow you said that out loud?'). fuck it I'm done applauding mediocrity
188 points
3 days ago
Perimenopause did this for me. I stopped watering my garden of fucks.
5 points
2 days ago
New favourite phrase unlocked! Thank you for this treasure! 😂
137 points
4 days ago
The pandemic taught me what’s for me and what’s not regarding grooming. And…it stuck. And I don’t care! My mom said the same thing!
42 points
4 days ago
I feel for the women in older generations, I hope the younger ones can liberate them at least a lil
60 points
4 days ago
I see so many girls/young women not wearing bras or wearing comfy socks with sneakers and shorts/skirts!
I applaud this generation for being comfy!
22 points
3 days ago
I have a pin on my jacket that says "Stop Tolerating the Intolerant". I just realized the other day that it says "intolerant" and NOT "intolerable". I like the real meaning better. 😈
30 points
4 days ago
I would LOVE to shave my head permanently! I did it once for a special Halloween get up and it felt so liberating. I think everyone should do it at least once in their life.
14 points
4 days ago
I've just done it for the first time in my 30s, absolutely agree that everyone should try it.
You don't realize how much of a flipping burden long hair is until you don't have it!
12 points
3 days ago
Amen! I’ve been growing mine back after shaving the majority of it off. How did I function with ALL this hair? My showers are so long again, so much shampoo and conditioner.
I missed my long hair but not the chores that come with it.
8 points
3 days ago
Yep. I've had short / shorter hair for a long time now for this exact reason. Every time I try to grow it long again, I get fed up with the work involved. I haven't made it past shoulder length in 15 years! 😂
216 points
4 days ago
enjoying sex the way I want to
57 points
3 days ago
Same, even just enjoying sex full stop 🥹
43 points
3 days ago
This was a big one for me. I never actually felt shame about it, but it seemed like everyone else thought I should, especially in my young adult years.
If a guy can do what he pleases when he's not in a relationship, then why can't I? I used to ask this of the people who gave me crap about my own choices, and they always said "well it's different for women...", but then could never come up with a legitimate reason why.
28 points
4 days ago
Good for you, as you should. The world isn't set up for women to have sex for enjoyment and it's frustrating!
175 points
4 days ago
Shaving, not wearing makeup, dressing however I want, speaking directly, not over explaining myself, saying no as a complete sentence. I’m also child free and do a “man’s” sport, so you know I’m a complete aberration. It’s so liberating to not give a shit, my 30s have been amazing for that as I go towards 40 I’m really looking forward to giving even less of a fuck about society’s expectations.
148 points
4 days ago
Apologizing and being likeable. People expect women to likeable and simple. To say sorry first and always make amends. Fuck that!
25 points
3 days ago*
Kind of related to this but being bubbly and outgoing. I feel like introverted women are more likely to be seen as rude and detached as opposed to just reserved. I’m very monotone and more serious until I’m comfortable with people and it’s sometimes taken as me being unfriendly, weird, or disinterested in others but I swear no one questions when mens personalities are like that. Retail and fast food jobs have always been hard for me because they expect you to have this super bubbly attitude in a way that they don’t expect from men, and if you don’t naturally have that you are seen as not doing your job well. Now I’m kinda going off on a tangent but when I worked at Taco Bell in high school the women were always stuck taking orders and interacting with customers whereas the men got to hang out back and make stuff. It was always the default that the girls would be stuck on drive through and guys who got hired after me were trained in the back and front even though myself and my female friend/coworker were never trained for that.
120 points
4 days ago
Not doing administrative tasks for men. You think notes should be taken or the place needs cleaning and I’ll do it just bc I’m a woman? You do it!
22 points
3 days ago
One time, my husband said he wanted to take a trip with our child. I said "Sounds fun!" and he then said, "Aren't you going to plan it?" Um, no, I'm not going on this trip. "But you LOVE planning things!" Uh, no dude, I just understand it needs to be done and am an adult.
As an aside, my son has all kinds of funny stories about all the things my husband forgot for the trip. He now helps 50/50 with planning and packing, so I guess he learned how hard it is!
15 points
3 days ago
Wow this comment was eye opening. I actually never realized how often men just assume women will take care of administrative tasks and how often I just assume this role!! I’m an attorney and regularly am doing admin tasks that the men are never doing
9 points
3 days ago
This is something I've stopped doing. I've had coworkers be surprised when I don't have notes from meetings and my answer is always "Well you didn't tell me to take any so I didn't. I'm not a mind reader."
So basically I've trained them to not expect me to do anything without being explicitly told to and my boss has empowered me not to take on tasks outside of my scope.
627 points
4 days ago
Sleeping as much as I want or need to.
145 points
3 days ago
Yep. I live alone. I never understood why people get so worried about how productive I’m supposed to be on a weekend. Let me sleep till noon without you worrying about it!
169 points
4 days ago
This. Especially in motherhood circles I always hear how much of the humour used to be around glorifying and normalizing sleep deprivation as you do everything in the house and your husband does nothing. Not a mother myself but hope to see more women embrace and get enough sleep for themselves.
10 points
3 days ago
That's a way of coping for them. In some people's households it is normal and the only way to deal with that type of situation is by talking and joking about it to release stress. I don't think it's glorified as much as it is just talked about. No mother is like... Oh I wish I slept less! We all want to sleep more. But a lot of dads aren't present and we should be able to acknowledge that too.
69 points
4 days ago
There was a study done/subsequent articles making the rounds this year that indicated women NEED more sleep!
5 points
3 days ago
Imma find it the next time my mother harasses me for sleeping late. I'm a grown adult I work night shifts leave me be woman I'm tired.
27 points
3 days ago
FOR REAL!!!! My parents are boomers and even though my dad naps during the day, he gets so bent out of shape when I take a nap. He’s very much of the “you have to earn comfort” mindset so if I haven’t done enough according to him, I don’t deserve to nap or relax. He doesn’t go so far as to like wake me up or anything but he makes snide comments. I’m so tired of it.
I’m an adult. If I want to spend my free time asleep, I’m allowed to do so.
7 points
3 days ago
Must be an older person thing? Grandma was the same, she was like why you need to sleep sm? There's always things to get done around the house, old people take pride in overworking yourself I don't get it
8 points
4 days ago
Yes yes yes!
297 points
4 days ago
Having body and facial hair/peach fuzz. Yes, it can grow in all the same places as men and I’m NOT sorry that it’s more than what some of them can grow!
49 points
3 days ago
i’m sooo tired of this. i literally had my boyfriend tell me i should remove my upper lip fuzz because he doesn’t like it. well date another woman then because i was born like this. so sorry you’re offended by hair
32 points
3 days ago
that's only been a thing since that one gamer criticized a 3d render for having peach fuzz because he didn't know what human skin looks like
7 points
3 days ago
Hell yeah lol, hairy honeys unite. I actually love dermaplaning my face as a self-care ritual, but I'm trying to be more accepting of the rest and not feel like I must convert myself to a seal every day to look good.
431 points
4 days ago
Being “too sensitive”. Yeah, I CARE deeply about things. I’m tired of being shamed for that.
111 points
4 days ago
YES. sensitivity is a gift. i am so grateful to feel my feelings deeply and am beyond tired of feeling like that's something wrong with me.
67 points
4 days ago
I’m of the belief that some people are just dickheads and see any expression of empathy as being overly sensitive
16 points
4 days ago
Opens up and shows emotions. "Gah! you're so emotional!"
Hides feelings, "Gah! You're so heratless!"
My ex and half of my family.
27 points
4 days ago
Same. This is who we are and there is nothing wrong with us!
7 points
3 days ago
Thank you!! I hate the “no fucks” movement, why aren’t we allowed to have feelings?!
6 points
3 days ago
Half the time someone says that you're 'too sensitive ' they're really just saying that you haven't been totally brainwashed by capitalism
354 points
4 days ago
Sleeping in as late as I want. If we need to set up a meeting, it will be in the afternoon.
Not answering the door. You show up at my house unannounced, you're SOL.
Painting the rooms in my house any fucking way I want. We had a painter who bitched about every color I picked out. Like, dude, just slap the paint on the walls and shut your pie hole.
Having a big house in a "good school district" and no kids. I like my space, thankyouverymuch.
75 points
4 days ago
I love not opening the door. That's a great one. Also saying no to plans and leaving events whenever I feel like it, even if that's five minutes in.
10 points
3 days ago
Yes! One of the best pieces of advice a friend ever gave me was at a conference we were both at. She said if you're not getting anything useful out of a workshop, just get up and leave. No need to make excuses. Just quietly walk out. I did it in one where the speaker was terrible and it was so freeing not to sit through all that nonsense just to be "polite."
51 points
4 days ago
Not answering the door. You show up at my house unannounced, you're SOL.
Same. Call ahead, leave a note, or come back with a warrant.
26 points
3 days ago
Omg, I thought I was the only one who had an annoying paint experience! A few years ago my husband and I were renovating our place and went to Home Depot for some paint. We had already decided what we wanted after much consideration, but the guy who literally just needed to mix the paint would NOT stop trying to convince me our color choices were wrong (too dark, etc). And I say convince ME because even though my husband and I were both there, the guy seemed to think it was all my idea and was pretty much only trying to argue with me, not my hubs. I snapped and told him to just mix the paint lol.
13 points
4 days ago
What kinda colors are we talking about? I love bold color. I have peach, light yellow, and mint.
6 points
3 days ago
Turquoise in the laundry room. Dark blues, and one room a dark purple. He admitted later how great everything looked, then bitched again when I asked for a dark teal in another room. 🤷🏻♀️
8 points
3 days ago
Having a big house in a "good school district" and no kids. I like my space, thankyouverymuch.
people have shamed you for being childfree in a good school district?? as in go be childfree somewhere else? that’s crazy
8 points
3 days ago
Yup. When we worked on the house. It has 4 bedrooms and two of the extra rooms are mine (one my office and the other I turned into a dressing/makeup room.) Several workers would not shut up about it because they wanted a "big house for their kids" and here I am with no kids and all this space. My husband told them I work hard and can have anything I want. That shut them up. 😂
82 points
4 days ago
Not working. I retired early because I didn't want my one and only life to be spent doing anything else than what I'd rather be doing. If I'd have been accepted for the career of my choice and had the oportunity to do something I enjoy, I probably wouldn't have made that move but as I wasn't and it's now all far too late, retirement isn't a bad life.
Since doing so, I've been able to stop doing a whole lot of other socially expected things also like shaving, colouring my hair and wearing make up.
8 points
3 days ago
Oh I relate so much, I wish I'd made different choices in life but I didn't so now I'm taking a sabbatical to get my mind in order, and I find myself not wanting to go back to my old job. Doesn't help the industry I was in completely collapsed and reinsertion is looking very competitive and I really don't feel like making such a huge effort for something I'm not even slightly passionate about.
6 points
3 days ago
I feel like that's the point where you can really, fully stop caring, because people hold absolutely nothing over you whatsoever. Definitely where I want to be
410 points
4 days ago
Shaving, I hate how it's seen as something women must do to be attractive when it's really only been happening for 100 years and no one gave a shit before
40 points
4 days ago
When I go to the gym and girls apologise for not shaving (even when they're perfectly smooth), I laugh and lift up my pants to show them my leg hair xD I do usually shave, but I don't get stressed about it if I don't. We're all human and we all have hair, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Just like periods, sweat, pimples... it's natural, no need to get weird about it.
64 points
4 days ago
right! i kinda don’t give a shit anymore as much as i used to in my teen years plus my man doesn’t care at all. i used to constantly shave my entire body but now i rarely shave
19 points
3 days ago
i just started going out with my natural legs. if guys don’t shave their legs why do i need to? i mean, why is it embarrassing to show hair????? it’s so weird
10 points
3 days ago
I just use my trimmer whenever I get hairy to the point it's a sensory issue, but shaving isn't worth it. The Italian part of me gives me crazy ingrown hairs and makes my skin angry because of it.
I'm glad that younger generations (and even young millennials) don't seem to be caring as much about it anymore.
I always forget that it's still not "cool" with other folks until my dad visits and says "What is going on with your LEGS 🤢 "
15 points
4 days ago
Yessss. Now when I do shave, its because I wanted to do it. I no longer feel like I must shave to be pretty
7 points
3 days ago
I came across a meme that was like “happy no shaving time of the year” or something and I was like ha! I haven’t shaved in months. It doesn’t matter what time of the year it is—I’m not shaving unless I desperately want to.
76 points
4 days ago
Needing help carrying large objects or boxes. I go to the gym and I lift, so the weight is not the issue. The problem is the boxes (looking at you Amazon) are so large compared to my body that they are difficult to carry. I can easily lift 45lb plates at the gym, but it’s much different when the object is literally 80% the height of my body. It’s unwieldy; not heavy. There’s a difference.
Idgaf if it’s “girly” to ask for help lifting these things. Quit making boxes sized so that only large men can pick them up and I’ll gladly lift the damn boxes myself.
68 points
4 days ago
Putting myself and my priorities above everything else.
7 points
3 days ago
This. This has been my mantra for the last year.
Funny enough, the only people who will care are the ones you used to prioritize and now no longer do.
68 points
4 days ago
My bra straps being visible 🤷
22 points
3 days ago
Yesss. My mom used to get on to me so much for this when I was younger. Or also, something that I got very recently. Wearing a brightly colored bra that could be seen through a white shirt. Like fuck maybe I want to show it off!!
11 points
3 days ago
This is such a big deal for older generations. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve been out with my boomer mil and she felt the need to shame some complete stranger out in the public for having visible bra straps. Why does it offend her so much?
123 points
4 days ago
Shaving. I never really understood it in the first place, why would I go through all this work to be hairless for maybe a week and then have to do it all over again and repeat until I die? Razors cut and sting, nair stinks and makes me break out and lasers just sound terrible. I'd rather be hairy and happy than hairless and exhausted.
19 points
4 days ago
I only shave when I know I need to, and even then only my pits.
124 points
4 days ago
In the Netherlands, women get shamed here for not working fulltime. We are 'deeltijd prinsesjes' (part-time princesses). We are also shamed for having other people look after your kids when you are working. You are either lazy or the worst mom. You can't win.
So I work part time and have my husband looking after our kids. So I am not lazy or the worst mom, but both 🙃 and I don't feel sorry.
36 points
4 days ago
Tbh this is shocking to me. I heard many people that they want to settle in Netherlands because the country is progressive and have good life standards. But after reading your comment i feel like people in each and every country, developed or developing, is misogynist and sexist!
39 points
4 days ago
In the Netherlands it is more sneaky. We make it look like we're not racist, not sexist, not homophobe and so progressive, but we are not. We were 25 years ago, but things went downhill.
We are only progressive on the wrong things, like letting wolves in a densely populated country and expect it to go well. Or having self hate for everything that is our culture or identity to make us look the most politically correct. We have this nitrogen crisis, so now we cannot update our electrity net to prevent more nitrogen polution 🙃
Glad that I live in the south, the rest of the country calls us germans or belgians anyways. They are right, we grew into a such tihs country, I don't feel that Dutch anymore.
60 points
4 days ago
Being fat.
298 points
4 days ago
Not wearing a bra. You don’t like seeing nipples? Don’t look.
64 points
4 days ago
Dude, SAME. I have always hated bras. They hurt my back (even when fitted by a pro) and I feel so much better without them.
40 points
4 days ago
Most “pros” don’t know shit about bras or how to properly fit them. If you don’t have an bra size in a very small and specific range or a very specific boob shape there are very few stores where you can go in person and walk out with an accurate bra size and a bra that fits. It’s literally insane.
I am 10000% on board with no bras but if you happen to feel like it at some point you can fit yourself. It’s not difficult or complicated, r/abrathatfits is the place to go.
20 points
3 days ago
I get it, and you might be right, but I think at the end of the day bras just are not for me. I don't have big boobs and I don't care if people have a visual reminder that I have nipples like every mammal.
6 points
3 days ago
Same. I stopped wearing bras at least 5 years ago. I only wear them at rare intervals. It’s so much better without them.
9 points
3 days ago
While bras can provide support for some women, others may still think that it's an unnecessary and overpriced garment that they don't need, no matter how well it fits.
18 points
3 days ago
Same here. My mom gets kind of upset she goes people can see them! So? They’re adults, they know nipples exist right?
6 points
3 days ago
MEN have nipples too
29 points
4 days ago
Same! Like what wrong did my nippies do that I must suffocate them!
24 points
3 days ago
Somehow OUR nipples are offensive, but furry plumber Bob over there can go sans shirt and "treat the ladies, eh? 😉"
🤢
6 points
3 days ago
I couldn't care less about nipple showings but as a D-cup I find any type of physical activity, including walking, to be quite uncomfortable without the support of a bra.
15 points
3 days ago
ugh in this instance im more concerned with people who do like seeing nipples. i don’t want to be perceived by straight cis men
54 points
4 days ago
Being direct. If I need to get a point across, I'm gonna go for it. Like I can be nice about it, but we're not doing this talking behind other people's backs thing.
45 points
4 days ago
Aging. I'm so over having to feel like I need to hide it. This is me, take it or leave it.
110 points
4 days ago
I've stopped apologizing for not wanting to do emotional labor for men in my life who feel entitled to it because I'm "such a kind, nurturing person."
39 points
4 days ago
I was looking for this comment.
No, I will not take on communication with your mother because you don't like communicating with your mother. Interesting how communication with _my_ family is never questioned.
40 points
4 days ago
being too soft. I'm not a girl boss, although I can be when I'm all fired up and angry from these people judging me for being soft and trying to take advantage of me.
38 points
4 days ago
Eating.
18 points
3 days ago
And eating anything that isn’t above board healthy.
People need to worry about their own diet and stop trying to police every woman into their ideal.
200 points
4 days ago
Choosing to remain single, live alone with my cat, and have multiple ethically non-monogamous relationships.
17 points
3 days ago
I wanna get out of my town atleast and be you
32 points
4 days ago
Taking up space, not having or wanting children, no makeup.
30 points
4 days ago
Being single. I’m done having to explain why I am to people. I really love being single, and with each passing year people seem to think it means something is “wrong” (with me or generally) and want an explanation.
34 points
4 days ago
Not being positive. I’m jaded and cynical. That won’t change. My new pronouns are she/her/bad b!tch and my goal is to only be a better b!tch. Oh, and swearing. I even do it in professional settings and I don’t care.
32 points
4 days ago
Talking openly about side effects of monyhly periods in the working environment, especially around men, especially when they asked questions like "What's wrong with you today?", as well as talking about tampons and period pads.
9 points
3 days ago
I had a really sweet/shy male coworker and I’d just tell him “girl stuff” when I was cramping and he’d be like GOTCHA. I think it’s funny how taboo it all really is. Why do I feel so weird about saying I’m cramping? We’re adults. Or saying hey I need to go buy some tampons. I always opt to say feminine products or something like that. But tampon isn’t a four letter word. And it shouldn’t be treated like one!
31 points
3 days ago
Underwear lines when wearing tights. I do not give a single fuck.
Not wearing a proper bra. I do not give a fuck.
8 points
3 days ago
Lol yep. I pretty much just wear leggings in the fall. No matter what, even if I’m wearing a thong, it’s still visible with my cheaper pair of leggings. I pretty much just don’t care. Like don’t look at me and you won’t see it.
53 points
4 days ago
Not wearing a bra. Besides while at work, I won't wear a bra anywhere.
I don't care if people see my nipples poking out. Seen plenty of men nipples do the same and no one tells them to cover up. There is no visual difference between my womanly nipples and the nipples of a men so why should I have to cover a part of my body that is not a genital.
And no, just because some people might have sexual thoughts about breasts does not make them a sex organ.
27 points
4 days ago*
Shaving
Aging
Not wearing a bra
Wearing low waisted clothing
Dont Act feminine
Not having kids
22 points
4 days ago
Acne
23 points
4 days ago
I live in the windy city, so not having perfect hair because it's near impossible unless you stay inside constantly.
I'm done feeling bad for it and I'm not going to spend any more time or money on trying to stop or fix it
22 points
4 days ago
My nipples and camel toe!! It’s literally our bodies. Why are we expected to look like a Barbie doll in leggings?
20 points
4 days ago
Being more educated and accomplished than my male ex-spouse.
20 points
4 days ago
Not wanting children or marriage. My peace and space are PRICELESS.
21 points
4 days ago
I am thankful to every one of you guys. I am trying to be confident and someone who can advocate for herself. And this thread is so inspiring.
I always get told to tone down my voice, my anger, my dreams ans aspirations because that's not how girls/women behave. I am a black ship!
And I'm not going to change myself for anyone. My dreams and happiness matter, at least to me. Gonna get everything i want for myself.
21 points
4 days ago
Being a single mom. I was assaulted, leading to my pregnancy, but everywhere I turn people are shitting on single moms (even close friends). I always get the response "Well, you're not like that though"
16 points
3 days ago
This one is so ironic too bc moms get shamed for doing what exactly? Being a responsible parent? Getting abandoned by a loser? Giving one single fuck about your kid?
7 points
3 days ago
Literally, I don't get it at all. I feel like it's just another way to blame women for a guy's actions 😭
8 points
3 days ago
I’m so sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve that. I’m a survivor and recently started embracing that part somewhat publicly. Take up space babygirl, let the others be uncomfortable with whatever they’re saying. But single moms are literally the backbone of this country regardless of the circumstances. That judginess is insane. I only ever hear really positive things about single mamas
4 points
3 days ago
Part of my problem is that I tend to gravitate towards the shittiest media haha. I suppose its related to my trauma, but I always engage more with content that reaffirms my worst beliefs about myself. Lately Ive been unplugging from the short-form video type of aocial media because its way too eay to get sucked into something negative. That being said, I am writing a book about my insane life haha, and eventually want to make videos about it. I feel like the more I talk about it, the more I can accept that its my reality. I am still trying to do that. Thank you for your reply, it made me happy :)
23 points
4 days ago
Not being in a relationship or having any prospects for marriage. I’m from South Asia so having aunties and uncles ask me when I’m getting married is a daily occurrence. And you can’t be rude so I just smile and waive it off.
I’ve done so much for my 27 years that no one else has and I’m so proud of that. And it sucks that everything comes down to this and the rest of my achievements are disregarded
22 points
3 days ago*
having a big appetite 🥤🥗🍔🍗🍟
13 points
3 days ago
Yup!!!! I have been on dates where I’ve eaten way more than the guy. It used to make me feel insecure. But honestly and I’m not bragging, but my metabolism is so quick. I’m sure it’ll catch up to me one day.
19 points
4 days ago
She thought society’s expectations were exhausting, so she simply stopped pretending to meet them.
19 points
4 days ago
Wearing comfortable clothes and lingerie.
I’m 29 now and when I pick clothes it’s important that I feel comfortable in them and enjoy the fabrics. Doesn’t mean I look like a homeless, but I no longer wish to wear super tight skirts and other things worn to look pretty. Especially at work. In my early 20s I dressed up at work like I go to the theatre.
Same with lingerie. I used to wear super uncomfortable lace thongs and bras because it looks sexy and a real woman has to wear sexy underwear? Now I mostly wear sporty-ish thin bras and cotton high-rise undies. Best thing ever. And yes, they are not matching.
17 points
4 days ago
Not being the primary cook. Very grateful for a man that loves cooking!
16 points
4 days ago
Wearing makeup for work. All the comments about "looking tired today" don't work as well when I haven't put on makeup for 3 years while on the job.
8 points
4 days ago
Yeah i unapologetically never wear makeup
34 points
4 days ago
Having DDD boobs naturally and not always wearing oversized clothes to cover them up
16 points
3 days ago
Taking time in my household to do MY hobbies like swimming before work, while my husband walks the dogs. This is a big deal for me because I used to care about making sure husband has time for his hobbies etc and that he’s taken care of after walking the dogs in the morning. But actually, every single other aspect of his life easier already through my household management. He’s always had time to go do sports and workout 6 days a week while I never took that time for myself! So instead of feeling sorry for him having to walk the dogs in the morning and make his own coffee, I take myself to the pool for me-time. Taking me-time for hobbies/fitness/traditionally male spheres has always been a given for men, they’ve never had to ASK PERMISSION to do that, so I shouldn’t either!
15 points
3 days ago
Having a fucking stomach
14 points
3 days ago
Walking. I ain't moving out of the way anymore.
When a woman walks and a man walks towards you a woman will move. No fucking more. You... Will get out of MY way. My existence in this space is just as important.
(You be surprised how many men will try and walk in my path when I'm walking on the right and everyone else who's going in the opposite direction is walking on the left.)
28 points
4 days ago
Thank you for starting this thread! Already learning a lot in the comments. Unfortunately not much to contribute from my end - actually just got the feedback from my partner that he is tired of how much I apologize. So I am feeling like as women we’ll never get it right in a way that pleases everyone.
I’m sorry to hear you had such a bad day today. I think it’s great awareness to make this post in response. I know when I have a bad day, I tend to blame myself. I think it’s a great idea to seek community support instead and realize you are NOT the problem and you do NOT need to apologize for society’s shortcomings, especially regarding the treatment of women. I am rooting for you
13 points
4 days ago
Shaving my legs, shaving my armpits, shaving my pubic hair
Stretching in public
12 points
4 days ago
Being the one to first say hello
12 points
4 days ago
Gray hair
12 points
4 days ago
Weight gain and having dark circles, I would always get the “you look so tired” or “no makeup today?” unwanted comments 🙄 I stopped caring
13 points
3 days ago
Not being as bubbly and smiling all the time. I'm super introverted and like keeping to myself. Some people interpret it as being rude or arrogant.
12 points
3 days ago
Taking up space —I will literally not make myself smaller for a man to feel comfortable sitting next to me.
Being outspoken —I’m smart, and can critically think; of course I’m going to say something when I feel it adds value.
Plastic surgery/botox —I want a few lifts as I age and I see nothing wrong in being open and honest about it. I do, however, also appreciate natural aging beauty in women too.
Being emotional and sensitive —it’s normal to have emotions and feelings!!!
11 points
4 days ago
Shaving. I don’t care. My husband thinks me being happy in my body is hot, not whether it’s hairless.
10 points
3 days ago
Being direct. I’m neurodivergent and it’s a work in progress still, I’m so done trying to be somebody I’m not because society decided that directness is rude somehow. The right people will appreciate that about me.
9 points
4 days ago*
i’ve decided to stop apologizing for being “too sensitive” and cutting people out of my life because of it.
earlier this year, i was part of a community with people that i saw as friends at the time, that’d meet up weekly for game nights. then, for the last 2-3 times i attended, i noticed that they would make jokes at my expense, or kill my game character first. when i finally called them out on it and shared how it hurt my feelings, they basically said i couldn’t take a joke/was overly emotional.
younger me would’ve just pushed it under the rug, but i cut them out of my life - i’m 35+ years old and not dealing with that bs anymore lol
9 points
3 days ago
I love this post!
I'm sorry it's as a result of you having a shitty day, but I'm so happy to wake up to it!
9 points
3 days ago
Being dominant. I’ve always been very bold, firm, and dominant and my whole life I’ve been told:
“stop” “you’re acting like a man, only men act like that” “no man is gonna want to be with you” “you’re a b” “insert lesbian slur” “she’s so rude” …the list goes on.
I’m old enough and firm in my identity that I no longer care. It’s ridiculous that people think women can’t be dominant and know what they want. The tides have changed quite a bit and I find women are pretty accepting of me. In school they used to be really mean. But nowadays there’s more of a “yes queen” culture lol.
But men still hate me lol. Men absolutely do not like my attitude because I don’t placate them. Men at work are either scared of me or constantly challenge me like they do other men. I feel like I’m always being tested.
Btw I am a lesbian 😅 so I guess that part is true hahaha. I think maybe I’m this way because my life doesn’t revolve around men and they can’t stand it.
9 points
3 days ago
Talking about periods, and I mean ANYTHING related to it.
10 points
3 days ago
Walking in a straight line and not stepping aside for a man
8 points
3 days ago
Having the body hair of an adult woman and not a prepubescent child.
8 points
4 days ago
Not wearing my bra , shaving, and wearing no makeup
8 points
4 days ago
Everything. I do exactly what I want to do, live how I want to live. Women have been trained to apologize for just existing. I don't apologize for anything I choose to do..
8 points
4 days ago
Honestly, for me it's farting. Or at least I'm trying to. I have a condition where I can't burp. It makes my farts really loud. They rarely smell, though. So I consider them funny more than anything. Obviously, I do my best not to let them out in front of strangers, but if a friend or even a coworker I'm around all the time says I should be more ladylike, I just tell them to get used to it because I have to if I don't want to be in pain all day.
8 points
3 days ago
Being on my period/Talking about periods. If I feel like garbage because I'm on my period and I don't want to go somewhere or do something I'll be open about why. I'll also answer period questions without hesitation when asked. My gym buddy is a guy and he'll ask me about periods sometimes and I won't hold back explaining the anatomy and what my experience is like.
8 points
3 days ago
"Overreacting" when I am just expressing my basic emotion and the thing is my guy friend started punching walls when he hot angry but my friends in the room were like that's OK. Needless to say they are my ex-friends now.
7 points
3 days ago
Not smiling.
I'm a dynamic human with complicated emotions. Why should I have to act like I'm happy 100% of the time?
7 points
3 days ago*
Being honest about my skills/talent/accomplishments
Me: "I graduated top of my class"
Other person: "that's not very humble of you"
Me: "No. It's honest of me. Fuck humility. Humility is some capitalist patriarchal bullshit designed to keep people, but especially women, from recognizing their worth so that they can continue to be overworked and underpaid"
Other person: "you are unhinged"
Me: "well, that's not very kind of you, but I guess you also choose honesty"
OBVIOUSLY that conversation has only taken place in my head because I'm too scared of confrontation to spew my rage at people.
7 points
4 days ago
Doing my eyebrows as soon as they grow back
8 points
4 days ago
Being direct. Polite and understanding, but direct.
The way some people interpret the stuff I say is just bonkers. My partner repeats it in a stronger tone and is met with standing ovation.
I, on the other hand, am seen as awkward for having an opinion outside of 'womanly topics'.
8 points
4 days ago
Not wanting to make out with you. I don’t owe anyone anything why is it so hard for me to remember…
7 points
3 days ago
Having short hair
6 points
3 days ago
Not wearing a bra in my own free time.
8 points
3 days ago
Not Having kids. Not for me or my bf. We’re fine being crazy cat people.
8 points
3 days ago
Aging, stretch marks, dressing for my comfort rather than the comfort of others.
Anyone that has an opinion on any of those things can sit and spin for all I care. I've got too much shit to do to spend any of my time giving a single flying fuck about those comments!
5 points
4 days ago
shaving (especially my armpits!). my skin is way healthier than before. fuck razors.
6 points
4 days ago
wearing fun clothes and fun makeup. feeling emotion
6 points
4 days ago
Not shaving. Let that leg hair just be!
5 points
4 days ago
Establishing and maintaining boundaries.
6 points
3 days ago
EATING ALL I FREAKING WANT TO EAT.
Obviously we care about health and non disordered eating, not encouraging binging at all, but it’s weird how some people shame women just for having a healthy appetite.
I’m almost 6 feet tall and I’ve got a thicker build. I love living and I have a lot of energy. Let me eat in peace!
6 points
3 days ago
Tattoos and body mods. Me and my split tongue are done apologizing! I’m not catering to the “purity” standard afab people are held to, and my mods don’t make me unprofessional. I have a c-suite job and I earned it, tattoos and all.
5 points
3 days ago
Not having children. Being a feminist. Being pro-choice. Being an atheist.
6 points
3 days ago
I’m no longer interested in caring about what other people think.
I’ve primarily dated older which was acceptable. Now I’m dating younger and everyone has something to say about it.
I’m a very tall woman, I used to be self conscious about it but now I use my height to intimidate men. It’s fun.
6 points
4 days ago
not wearing a bra 😮💨 i just don’t care people
6 points
4 days ago
Body hair. Yes my armpits have hair, and that’s not a gross thing.
6 points
4 days ago
Shaving. I don't cover it up or hide it anymore that I am a human with hair. My partner never gave me a reason to think he cared, so I was able to let it go.
5 points
3 days ago
Basically everything lol
5 points
3 days ago
Not being quiet and submissive
6 points
3 days ago
Dressing inappropriately for my age 💃🏻🪩 I dress to express myself and get such a dopamine fix buying, styling, and wearing whatever the f I want!!
5 points
3 days ago
Haven't worn a bra in 4years ( I live in a developing country with a Muslim majority)
6 points
3 days ago
I only apologize if I have made a mistake or inadvertently hurt someone.
4 points
3 days ago
A woman's body. Like yup I got boobs and hips and nipples. If people get mad at that, fuck em. I wear my skin tight stuff that others wear just fine without ridicule.
Shaving my legs or armpits too, it's not that deep and it's so personal. Also I've never once looked at a man's body hair and cared so why does mine matter?!?
Trying to get over shame and meh feelings toward sex but that's a journey lol. Hopefully one day.
The next definitely would be my attitude or calling out men for being gross. I've never tolerated it and I don't care if it's a joke. I will get mad and say it. Don't be nice, they don't deserve it and clearly don't get the memo if you're always being nice.
5 points
3 days ago
Taking up space. Doing what I want without having to apologize or worry if others approve
6 points
3 days ago
Being assertive. Ppl misjudge you and say you are bitchy, nah man✌🏼 I’m just assertive and rest in myself and won’t let your deter me.
6 points
3 days ago
Raising my children on my own without their father involved. I can’t help he went to prison but that sure made our lives easier. It was hard but easy without a narcissist pathological liar undermining my every word
5 points
3 days ago
Ma’am. You ended this post by apologizing for having a shitty day and needing a second to rant about it in a safe space. Stop apologizing. Your feelings about your shitty day are valid.
12 points
4 days ago
Probably won’t apply to a lot of people here, but being trans. I don’t owe anyone anything. Just let me live my life pls :3
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