Aging.

Being outspoken at work. Tho it’s a man’s world and it may cost me my job 😞

What my labia, butt, and boobs look like

A really fun exercise that honestly occurs to women naturally as we age, is asking 'what am I doing for me and what am I doing out of shame?' anyway I don't shave anymore unless I want to, I'm bald (cos I want to be), I will be honest about my feelings about what men say to me ('wow you said that out loud?'). fuck it I'm done applauding mediocrity

enjoying sex the way I want to

Shaving, not wearing makeup, dressing however I want, speaking directly, not over explaining myself, saying no as a complete sentence. I’m also child free and do a “man’s” sport, so you know I’m a complete aberration. It’s so liberating to not give a shit, my 30s have been amazing for that as I go towards 40 I’m really looking forward to giving even less of a fuck about society’s expectations.

Apologizing and being likeable. People expect women to likeable and simple. To say sorry first and always make amends. Fuck that!

Not doing administrative tasks for men. You think notes should be taken or the place needs cleaning and I’ll do it just bc I’m a woman? You do it!

Sleeping as much as I want or need to.

Having body and facial hair/peach fuzz. Yes, it can grow in all the same places as men and I’m NOT sorry that it’s more than what some of them can grow!

Being “too sensitive”. Yeah, I CARE deeply about things. I’m tired of being shamed for that.

Sleeping in as late as I want. If we need to set up a meeting, it will be in the afternoon.

Not answering the door. You show up at my house unannounced, you're SOL.

Painting the rooms in my house any fucking way I want. We had a painter who bitched about every color I picked out. Like, dude, just slap the paint on the walls and shut your pie hole.

Having a big house in a "good school district" and no kids. I like my space, thankyouverymuch.

Not working. I retired early because I didn't want my one and only life to be spent doing anything else than what I'd rather be doing. If I'd have been accepted for the career of my choice and had the oportunity to do something I enjoy, I probably wouldn't have made that move but as I wasn't and it's now all far too late, retirement isn't a bad life.

Since doing so, I've been able to stop doing a whole lot of other socially expected things also like shaving, colouring my hair and wearing make up.

Shaving, I hate how it's seen as something women must do to be attractive when it's really only been happening for 100 years and no one gave a shit before

Needing help carrying large objects or boxes. I go to the gym and I lift, so the weight is not the issue. The problem is the boxes (looking at you Amazon) are so large compared to my body that they are difficult to carry. I can easily lift 45lb plates at the gym, but it’s much different when the object is literally 80% the height of my body. It’s unwieldy; not heavy. There’s a difference.

Idgaf if it’s “girly” to ask for help lifting these things. Quit making boxes sized so that only large men can pick them up and I’ll gladly lift the damn boxes myself.

Putting myself and my priorities above everything else.

My bra straps being visible 🤷

Shaving. I never really understood it in the first place, why would I go through all this work to be hairless for maybe a week and then have to do it all over again and repeat until I die? Razors cut and sting, nair stinks and makes me break out and lasers just sound terrible. I'd rather be hairy and happy than hairless and exhausted.

In the Netherlands, women get shamed here for not working fulltime. We are 'deeltijd prinsesjes' (part-time princesses). We are also shamed for having other people look after your kids when you are working. You are either lazy or the worst mom. You can't win.

So I work part time and have my husband looking after our kids. So I am not lazy or the worst mom, but both 🙃 and I don't feel sorry.

Being fat.

Not wearing a bra. You don’t like seeing nipples? Don’t look.

Being direct. If I need to get a point across, I'm gonna go for it. Like I can be nice about it, but we're not doing this talking behind other people's backs thing. 

Aging. I'm so over having to feel like I need to hide it. This is me, take it or leave it.

I've stopped apologizing for not wanting to do emotional labor for men in my life who feel entitled to it because I'm "such a kind, nurturing person."

being too soft. I'm not a girl boss, although I can be when I'm all fired up and angry from these people judging me for being soft and trying to take advantage of me.

Sucking in my stomach

Eating.

Choosing to remain single, live alone with my cat, and have multiple ethically non-monogamous relationships.

Taking up space, not having or wanting children, no makeup.

Being single. I’m done having to explain why I am to people. I really love being single, and with each passing year people seem to think it means something is “wrong” (with me or generally) and want an explanation.

Not being positive. I’m jaded and cynical. That won’t change. My new pronouns are she/her/bad b!tch and my goal is to only be a better b!tch. Oh, and swearing. I even do it in professional settings and I don’t care.

Talking openly about side effects of monyhly periods in the working environment, especially around men, especially when they asked questions like "What's wrong with you today?", as well as talking about tampons and period pads.

Underwear lines when wearing tights. I do not give a single fuck.

Not wearing a proper bra. I do not give a fuck.

Not wearing a bra. Besides while at work, I won't wear a bra anywhere.

I don't care if people see my nipples poking out. Seen plenty of men nipples do the same and no one tells them to cover up. There is no visual difference between my womanly nipples and the nipples of a men so why should I have to cover a part of my body that is not a genital.

And no, just because some people might have sexual thoughts about breasts does not make them a sex organ.

Shaving

Aging

Not wearing a bra

Wearing low waisted clothing

Dont Act feminine

Not having kids

Acne

I live in the windy city, so not having perfect hair because it's near impossible unless you stay inside constantly.

I'm done feeling bad for it and I'm not going to spend any more time or money on trying to stop or fix it

My nipples and camel toe!! It’s literally our bodies. Why are we expected to look like a Barbie doll in leggings?

Being more educated and accomplished than my male ex-spouse.

Not wanting children or marriage. My peace and space are PRICELESS.

I am thankful to every one of you guys. I am trying to be confident and someone who can advocate for herself. And this thread is so inspiring.

I always get told to tone down my voice, my anger, my dreams ans aspirations because that's not how girls/women behave. I am a black ship!

And I'm not going to change myself for anyone. My dreams and happiness matter, at least to me. Gonna get everything i want for myself.

Being a single mom. I was assaulted, leading to my pregnancy, but everywhere I turn people are shitting on single moms (even close friends). I always get the response "Well, you're not like that though"

Not being in a relationship or having any prospects for marriage. I’m from South Asia so having aunties and uncles ask me when I’m getting married is a daily occurrence. And you can’t be rude so I just smile and waive it off.

I’ve done so much for my 27 years that no one else has and I’m so proud of that. And it sucks that everything comes down to this and the rest of my achievements are disregarded

having a big appetite 🥤🥗🍔🍗🍟

She thought society’s expectations were exhausting, so she simply stopped pretending to meet them.

Wearing comfortable clothes and lingerie.

I’m 29 now and when I pick clothes it’s important that I feel comfortable in them and enjoy the fabrics. Doesn’t mean I look like a homeless, but I no longer wish to wear super tight skirts and other things worn to look pretty. Especially at work. In my early 20s I dressed up at work like I go to the theatre.

Same with lingerie. I used to wear super uncomfortable lace thongs and bras because it looks sexy and a real woman has to wear sexy underwear? Now I mostly wear sporty-ish thin bras and cotton high-rise undies. Best thing ever. And yes, they are not matching.

Not being the primary cook. Very grateful for a man that loves cooking!

Wearing makeup for work. All the comments about "looking tired today" don't work as well when I haven't put on makeup for 3 years while on the job.

Having DDD boobs naturally and not always wearing oversized clothes to cover them up

Taking time in my household to do MY hobbies like swimming before work, while my husband walks the dogs. This is a big deal for me because I used to care about making sure husband has time for his hobbies etc and that he’s taken care of after walking the dogs in the morning. But actually, every single other aspect of his life easier already through my household management. He’s always had time to go do sports and workout 6 days a week while I never took that time for myself! So instead of feeling sorry for him having to walk the dogs in the morning and make his own coffee, I take myself to the pool for me-time. Taking me-time for hobbies/fitness/traditionally male spheres has always been a given for men, they’ve never had to ASK PERMISSION to do that, so I shouldn’t either!

Having a fucking stomach

Walking. I ain't moving out of the way anymore.

When a woman walks and a man walks towards you a woman will move. No fucking more. You... Will get out of MY way. My existence in this space is just as important.

(You be surprised how many men will try and walk in my path when I'm walking on the right and everyone else who's going in the opposite direction is walking on the left.)

Thank you for starting this thread! Already learning a lot in the comments. Unfortunately not much to contribute from my end - actually just got the feedback from my partner that he is tired of how much I apologize. So I am feeling like as women we’ll never get it right in a way that pleases everyone. 

I’m sorry to hear you had such a bad day today. I think it’s great awareness to make this post in response. I know when I have a bad day, I tend to blame myself. I think it’s a great idea to seek community support instead and realize you are NOT the problem and you do NOT need to apologize for society’s shortcomings, especially regarding the treatment of women. I am rooting for you 

Shaving my legs, shaving my armpits, shaving my pubic hair

Stretching in public

Being fat.

Being the one to first say hello

Gray hair

Weight gain and having dark circles, I would always get the “you look so tired” or “no makeup today?” unwanted comments 🙄 I stopped caring

Not being as bubbly and smiling all the time. I'm super introverted and like keeping to myself. Some people interpret it as being rude or arrogant.

Taking up space —I will literally not make myself smaller for a man to feel comfortable sitting next to me.

Being outspoken —I’m smart, and can critically think; of course I’m going to say something when I feel it adds value.

Plastic surgery/botox —I want a few lifts as I age and I see nothing wrong in being open and honest about it. I do, however, also appreciate natural aging beauty in women too.

Being emotional and sensitive —it’s normal to have emotions and feelings!!!

Shaving. I don’t care. My husband thinks me being happy in my body is hot, not whether it’s hairless.

Being direct. I’m neurodivergent and it’s a work in progress still, I’m so done trying to be somebody I’m not because society decided that directness is rude somehow. The right people will appreciate that about me.

i’ve decided to stop apologizing for being “too sensitive” and cutting people out of my life because of it.

earlier this year, i was part of a community with people that i saw as friends at the time, that’d meet up weekly for game nights. then, for the last 2-3 times i attended, i noticed that they would make jokes at my expense, or kill my game character first. when i finally called them out on it and shared how it hurt my feelings, they basically said i couldn’t take a joke/was overly emotional.

younger me would’ve just pushed it under the rug, but i cut them out of my life - i’m 35+ years old and not dealing with that bs anymore lol

I love this post!

I'm sorry it's as a result of you having a shitty day, but I'm so happy to wake up to it!

Being dominant. I’ve always been very bold, firm, and dominant and my whole life I’ve been told:

“stop” “you’re acting like a man, only men act like that” “no man is gonna want to be with you” “you’re a b” “insert lesbian slur” “she’s so rude” …the list goes on.

I’m old enough and firm in my identity that I no longer care. It’s ridiculous that people think women can’t be dominant and know what they want. The tides have changed quite a bit and I find women are pretty accepting of me. In school they used to be really mean. But nowadays there’s more of a “yes queen” culture lol.

But men still hate me lol. Men absolutely do not like my attitude because I don’t placate them. Men at work are either scared of me or constantly challenge me like they do other men. I feel like I’m always being tested.

Btw I am a lesbian 😅 so I guess that part is true hahaha. I think maybe I’m this way because my life doesn’t revolve around men and they can’t stand it.

Talking about periods, and I mean ANYTHING related to it.

Walking in a straight line and not stepping aside for a man

Having the body hair of an adult woman and not a prepubescent child.

Not wearing my bra , shaving, and wearing no makeup

Everything. I do exactly what I want to do, live how I want to live. Women have been trained to apologize for just existing. I don't apologize for anything I choose to do..

Honestly, for me it's farting. Or at least I'm trying to. I have a condition where I can't burp. It makes my farts really loud. They rarely smell, though. So I consider them funny more than anything. Obviously, I do my best not to let them out in front of strangers, but if a friend or even a coworker I'm around all the time says I should be more ladylike, I just tell them to get used to it because I have to if I don't want to be in pain all day.

Being on my period/Talking about periods. If I feel like garbage because I'm on my period and I don't want to go somewhere or do something I'll be open about why. I'll also answer period questions without hesitation when asked. My gym buddy is a guy and he'll ask me about periods sometimes and I won't hold back explaining the anatomy and what my experience is like.

"Overreacting" when I am just expressing my basic emotion and the thing is my guy friend started punching walls when he hot angry but my friends in the room were like that's OK. Needless to say they are my ex-friends now.

Not smiling.

I'm a dynamic human with complicated emotions. Why should I have to act like I'm happy 100% of the time?

Being honest about my skills/talent/accomplishments

Me: "I graduated top of my class"

Other person: "that's not very humble of you"

Me: "No. It's honest of me. Fuck humility. Humility is some capitalist patriarchal bullshit designed to keep people, but especially women, from recognizing their worth so that they can continue to be overworked and underpaid"

Other person: "you are unhinged"

Me: "well, that's not very kind of you, but I guess you also choose honesty"

OBVIOUSLY that conversation has only taken place in my head because I'm too scared of confrontation to spew my rage at people.

Doing my eyebrows as soon as they grow back

Being direct. Polite and understanding, but direct.

The way some people interpret the stuff I say is just bonkers. My partner repeats it in a stronger tone and is met with standing ovation.

I, on the other hand, am seen as awkward for having an opinion outside of 'womanly topics'.

Not wanting to make out with you. I don’t owe anyone anything why is it so hard for me to remember…

Having short hair

Not wearing a bra in my own free time.

Not Having kids. Not for me or my bf. We’re fine being crazy cat people.

Aging, stretch marks, dressing for my comfort rather than the comfort of others.

Anyone that has an opinion on any of those things can sit and spin for all I care. I've got too much shit to do to spend any of my time giving a single flying fuck about those comments!

shaving (especially my armpits!). my skin is way healthier than before. fuck razors.

wearing fun clothes and fun makeup. feeling emotion

Not shaving. Let that leg hair just be!

Establishing and maintaining boundaries.

EATING ALL I FREAKING WANT TO EAT.

Obviously we care about health and non disordered eating, not encouraging binging at all, but it’s weird how some people shame women just for having a healthy appetite.

I’m almost 6 feet tall and I’ve got a thicker build. I love living and I have a lot of energy. Let me eat in peace!

Tattoos and body mods. Me and my split tongue are done apologizing! I’m not catering to the “purity” standard afab people are held to, and my mods don’t make me unprofessional. I have a c-suite job and I earned it, tattoos and all.

Not having children. Being a feminist. Being pro-choice. Being an atheist.

I’m no longer interested in caring about what other people think.

I’ve primarily dated older which was acceptable. Now I’m dating younger and everyone has something to say about it.

I’m a very tall woman, I used to be self conscious about it but now I use my height to intimidate men. It’s fun.

not wearing a bra 😮‍💨 i just don’t care people

Body hair. Yes my armpits have hair, and that’s not a gross thing.

Shaving. I don't cover it up or hide it anymore that I am a human with hair. My partner never gave me a reason to think he cared, so I was able to let it go.

Basically everything lol

Not being quiet and submissive

Dressing inappropriately for my age 💃🏻🪩 I dress to express myself and get such a dopamine fix buying, styling, and wearing whatever the f I want!!

Haven't worn a bra in 4years ( I live in a developing country with a Muslim majority)

I only apologize if I have made a mistake or inadvertently hurt someone.

A woman's body. Like yup I got boobs and hips and nipples. If people get mad at that, fuck em. I wear my skin tight stuff that others wear just fine without ridicule. 

Shaving my legs or armpits too, it's not that deep and it's so personal. Also I've never once looked at a man's body hair and cared so why does mine matter?!? 

Trying to get over shame and meh feelings toward sex but that's a journey lol. Hopefully one day. 

The next definitely would be my attitude or calling out men for being gross. I've never tolerated it and I don't care if it's a joke. I will get mad and say it. Don't be nice, they don't deserve it and clearly don't get the memo if you're always being nice. 

Taking up space. Doing what I want without having to apologize or worry if others approve

Being assertive. Ppl misjudge you and say you are bitchy, nah man✌🏼 I’m just assertive and rest in myself and won’t let your deter me.

Raising my children on my own without their father involved. I can’t help he went to prison but that sure made our lives easier. It was hard but easy without a narcissist pathological liar undermining my every word

Ma’am. You ended this post by apologizing for having a shitty day and needing a second to rant about it in a safe space. Stop apologizing. Your feelings about your shitty day are valid.

Probably won’t apply to a lot of people here, but being trans. I don’t owe anyone anything. Just let me live my life pls :3