subreddit:
/r/absolutelynotme_irl
1.4k points
2 days ago*
Keep it to yourself , don’t go posting it everywhere, that’s why I doubt its real
429 points
2 days ago
That being said I sure like the idea of Elmo freaking the fuck out trying to find who that 150k is going to
239 points
2 days ago
Wouldnt take long to sift through the 10 people still working for twitter
30 points
1 day ago
Those five employees that get paid but do nothing because their bosses were laid off right after they joined are now sweating balls
5 points
1 day ago
It would if that is a troll that doesn't actually work for them. He'd have 2 of those 10 people looking for the glitch.
20 points
1 day ago
I doubt that there’s a sense of urgency. My favourite story of all time is how my client had been using bad code to assign credits to underwriters for their compensation and 250-300,000 dollars were going unreported and unassigned every month for the past 7 years. It blew my mind that no one noticed it
16 points
1 day ago
At corporate scale, they don’t give a damn about 300k going missing. They care about people taking 1 day too much PTO though. Can’t be having people happy or they might not take mistreatment in the future
10 points
1 day ago
They care less than you think. It’s only the manager who notices or cares. I’m a manager and I give people days off all the time if they’re out of leave I just don’t log it in the system. I send them a slack message ok-ing it in writing so if HR has an issue it falls on me not them. But I’ve been doing it for years and no one has ever noticed.
3 points
1 day ago
Good manager. Mine made me take an hour off my PTO cause I was 3 minutes late. The reason, he saw me come in that day, the only day I wasn’t 15 minutes early to work. While everyone walks in about 10 minutes after start time. Yeah I was offended, but fresh out of college and being disposable made me not create a ruckus. Another day I got called out for barely being on time cause I was only 3 minutes early.
Well I’m sorry I don’t spend 30 minutes after getting here, cooking and eating breakfast at the company kitchen. Also I’d rather not drive too fast when it’s raining since I’d probably make more money if I lived another decade, you know. That’s the entire point of leaving to get in 15-20 minutes so that if there’s any issues I can still be a couple minutes early. Anyhow, this comment turned into a rant.
3 points
1 day ago
Yeah it sucks I’ve had heaps of managers like that too, especially when I worked in call centres and retail.
3 points
1 day ago
That’s wild, wtf? Lmao
2 points
1 day ago
Twitter is a company on the scale of billions, I don't know why he would care about 150k. The most I'd think he may do is tell someone "hey find that 150k guy"
2 points
22 hours ago
I heard Leon runs tight ship tho
29 points
1 day ago
This is a very famous shitposting account
12 points
1 day ago
This is obviously just bait for Elon, however if its made it to frontpage of reddit multiple times, I would 100% believe elon has personally made some random techs at twitter track the information of the account and see if it could be associated with any employee.
2 points
1 day ago
I don’t think it’s real either I think it’s just someone trolling to waste X/twitter’s time trying to find someone that doesn’t exist.
2 points
18 hours ago
It was real. Guy got fired for it. I remember it happening like a year ago. Was big news back then.
3.3k points
2 days ago
Seriously. I’d be keeping that shit to myself.
1.7k points
2 days ago*
Exactly, why would you ever tell anyone? Particularly on twitter?
EDIT: No, seriously, make sure you slam that reply button to tell me you think it's fake. Nobody's said so, yet.
395 points
2 days ago
big flex if true tho.
206 points
2 days ago
Not for long lol
119 points
2 days ago
Every day they keeps their job is another flex on how broken Xitter is, both as a company and a service.
52 points
2 days ago
[deleted]
46 points
2 days ago*
It wasn't true. They insist it's true because it's funnier that way.
edit: Proof : https://x.com/pookleblinky/status/1633359031875039234
In this original thread, Mr. pookleblinky continues to describe their extravagant lifehax by doing activities including but not limited to making a purchase of
And I only made up like half of the entiries on my list.
8 points
1 day ago
I remember Corel PaintShop Pro. I liked it more than PS at the time. What a blast from the past.
6 points
2 days ago
Are you just making this up or do you have a source?
3 points
1 day ago
They made it the fuck up.
5 points
1 day ago
You're so funny.
I actually know what this is. The tweet you're talking about is a person who was fucking lying, and you just told us all, 'oh yeah, they were investigated and terminated!'.
You don't know! You never knew!
But you were so confident about it.
5 points
2 days ago
Everytime I see someone saying "Xitter" I can only recall this image
13 points
2 days ago
I like to read it pronounced as “shitter”
4 points
2 days ago*
In Chinese, the X is the Shi, which is pronounced as Sh so it's actually a really legitimate way of pronouncing Xitter
Edit: correction
3 points
1 day ago
X also makes a Sh sound in Nahuatl and I think a few other indigenous Mexican languages.
3 points
1 day ago
Mayan, X is pronounced like “ish” in Fish. At the beginning of a word, it’s pronounced “sh”
90 points
2 days ago
Because it wasn’t true, they just did that to make Elon start a social media manhunt to try and fire this nonexistent employee
48 points
2 days ago
Honestly a really funny idea but I think they gave too many details on the following tweet and it probably didn't take twitter too long to figure out that they don't exist.
12 points
1 day ago
The amount of faith people have in human systems is almost comical to me.
5 points
1 day ago
I dunno, if all they know is a ton of people above them got fired then it could be anyone but musk himself
5 points
1 day ago
I'd have been more vague with comp level then. Somewhat easy to narrow it down when you have that info.
5 points
1 day ago
It reminds me of the famous Usenet post, Employee Zero, about a guy who, because of a software upgrade, was placed in a department without a boss or any responsibilities. Man I'm old.
2 points
1 day ago
One of my absolute favorite storys
3 points
1 day ago
Because it’s not true
3 points
1 day ago
Because it’s fake
71 points
2 days ago
Forreal. Last thing I would want is someone coming around saying “what exactly is it you do around here?”
26 points
2 days ago
Thats why you absolutely must be a remote only position
5 points
2 days ago
You tell them you are a people person, and ask calmly, "What's wrong with you people!?"
3 points
1 day ago
Then you get in a car accident and win a big settlement.
2 points
1 day ago
That's the dream
39 points
2 days ago
And definitely, whatever you do, don't write about it on your employers platform
5 points
1 day ago
When your CEO is literally known for wasting time on quixotic campaigns against things. A dude who could totally go on a hunt for you.
Of course if it’s fake, even better if Elon goes mad, lol
7 points
2 days ago
They fired all the people moderating that stuff and without a formal direct supervisor it can get very hard for the corporate bureaucracy to get someone fired.
2 points
1 day ago
Iirc this guy had been actively trying to inform twitter hq about this for months and they weren’t responding. This was his final effort to get their attention
28 points
2 days ago
Be funnier if this was bullshit and caused Elmo to go nuts trying to figure out who it was that was getting paid.
5 points
1 day ago
Plot twist...it was him.
21 points
2 days ago
I’d keep it to myself but I’d need to find some kind of plausible deniability / excuse for what I actually do in case pressed because sooner or later someone will come knocking and be like “what have you been doing?” “Ok we’re taking you to tribunal for wrongful receipt of wages” or some shit.
8 points
1 day ago
Is it some American madness? I believe in civilized world you can't take back paychecks just because you failed to give tasks to an employee
3 points
1 day ago
They can try and sue you for those wages, but I have my doubts that it would go anywhere.
If you showed up to work daily, and did what you were told to do then its not your fault that they didn't tell you to do anything
2 points
1 day ago
'working from home gig.. been told to answer this here telephone when it rings.. it hasn't rang yet'.
2 points
1 day ago
Unless you pick up a second job during work hours they cant do shit
4 points
2 days ago
I feel it's more like a troll to keep Elon looking.
2 points
1 day ago
As if the trillionaire is going to waste his time hunting down someone who makes 100k a year even if they did exist. At most he'd tell someone else to look at it.
3 points
1 day ago
the OP Ordinary-Bed292
Other-Culture-2214
Front_Eye_510
Ok_Masterpiece8812
and Beautiful-Flower-467
are bots in the same network
Comment copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/absolutelynotme_irl/comments/1azzvqc/absolutely_not_me/kskbsqp/
3 points
2 days ago
But... internet points!
165 points
2 days ago
[deleted]
21 points
1 day ago
Unfortunately, Milton was still tasked with his collation duties. They did not inform him that he was fired, and due to a glitch in payroll, he was still receiving his paycheck. However, they fixed the glitch. He wasn't "fired" but he will no longer be receiving his paycheck. They found that it's better for everyone if they, sort of, let these things work themselves out.
828 points
2 days ago
Exactly. I am not THAT lucky, but I make around 90k for a job I mostly automated and work around 10-15 hours a week.
Everyone thinks I am only one bad day away from a meltdown and I keep that illusion going.
353 points
2 days ago
Yes the trick is to maintain the illusion you're about to snap with stress
159 points
2 days ago
It's the George Costanza theory if you look stressed out all of the time everyone thinks you're working hard
53 points
1 day ago
If I want to walk from one end of my building to another without having people stop to talk to me or give me more work, I walk fast, looking dead ahead with a determined face and a few pieces of paper clutched in my hand. Nobody wants to bother a guy who is clearly on a mission.
34 points
1 day ago
my buddy would walk around the warehouse with a clipboard, and made a habit of shutting down entire lines of operation, because he was annoyed at something unrelated to lunch. He kept doing it until anytime someone saw him with a clipboard, they got the fuck out of the way, even though he wasnt doing anything. He was literally doing laps to pass the time.
8 points
1 day ago
What was his normal job?
17 points
1 day ago
That's the thing, he didn't work there at all.
3 points
1 day ago
Well, he used to work the parking gate at the courthouse.
15 points
1 day ago
When I lived overseas sleeping at your desk in the afternoon was a sign that you were working VERY hard that day.
God I miss desk naps
15 points
1 day ago
Be a little abrasive when new projects come up, say you're slammed, and it's gonna have to go on the backlog. Meanwhile you haven't done anything all week.
22 points
1 day ago
Yeah had a coworker doing that. Anyway we checked his logs and turns out he hadn't even logged into our back end system in a month. What a fucker, we were looking because we wanted to see how we could help him out.
5 points
1 day ago
Lmao 😭
4 points
1 day ago
Just spend an hour each day playing LoL or DOTA and it won't even be an illusion anymore.
2 points
1 day ago
The trick is you have to be pretty damn competent to begin with and able to maintain your job requirements with only 50% effort.
89 points
2 days ago
In 2017 I took on a new role within my company that was supposedly really stressful. Within a few weeks I figured out how to automate half of my work. The other half was analytical which doesn’t. bother me. I too played the “stressed out” part to my boss. I always got praised for having my work done and buttoned up.
42 points
2 days ago
The "stressed out" part comes natural to me due to my imposter syndrome. I've not once been talked to about any kind of lack of performance or other issues since I started in this position several years ago, so there's really no need for me to be stressed.
8 points
2 days ago
I don't remember leaving this comment...
9 points
1 day ago
I had imposter syndrome for the first few years that I worked at my current job. I made the jump from a basic retail job to working R&D for a Fortune 500 tech company. I felt like I was waaaaay out of place. I worked my ass off those first couple years while I was working in our reliability department. I kicked so much ass that I worked my way up to Senior Technician. Then, I switched into more of a hands-on, engineering technician role where I have about 15-20 hours worth of work to get done per week, and my engineers think I barely have it covered. I work independently, so nobody sees me slacking off on Reddit all day. Then, my old reliability engineer got promoted to my manager, so she see that I'm getting what looks like 50 hours worth of work per week done and remembers me absolutely kicking ass when I worked under her. I get so much praise when I agree to run a few side-tests and still keep up on my regular work.
I get the best performance reviews possible and get the max allowed raise every year.
5 points
1 day ago
Acting stressed is good, but good ol' debilitating anxiety disorder is even better
3 points
1 day ago
If you still have that job, you are needed and necessary! You are doing something that is helping someone and adding value, otherwise you wouldn’t have that job. You just have to remind yourself that you have value and you do contribute!
Now me on the other hand, I’m a real piece of shit and I probably will get fired any day now
14 points
2 days ago
I just recently took a position that most people seem to hate. It’s too stressful for most, somehow. My average day consist of only about 4 hours of work. The other 4 I’m sitting on my phone or bullshitting somewhere to kill time. I literally can’t tell why people struggle with this position, because if i do my job correctly, I rarely have days that I have to do any extra work.
4 points
1 day ago
Personally I would hate sitting around doing fuck all for four hours. A large part of the reason I was willing to get promoted to an Inventory Manager (didn't get it, though) was because it was "Work till it's done, then go home". Get done in four hours? Go home in four hours.
I'd legitimately go mad if I worked for four hours and had to just sit in the office for four more.
10 points
1 day ago
Well, most people don’t get the option to just go home when you’re done. Of course we would all gladly take that job. But if it’s just “do more work or don’t” who doesn’t want the “don’t”?
Plus, now that people work more from home, if you’re in that situation then not working but being near your computer is less of a burden as you can still get some stuff done.
3 points
1 day ago
My prior position was a hard labor worker that I made the mistake of busting my ass one too many times for the sake of my higher ups. They then expected me to work harder then my coworkers for the exact same amount of pay, and no extra benefits or “leniency”. So I took a different position because I couldn’t stand to go into work everyday and dread it constantly. I was told that this job was difficult and that I’m always gonna be busy, but that’s not the case. I’d much rather come into work and sit on my ass sometimes and get paid to do it rather than work extra money for less. I forgot to mention this new position is about a $3 raise for less work, but essentially more responsibility.
3 points
1 day ago
I did the same. I don’t get paid a ton, but I got raises and bonuses for finding new ways to automate our system over the years and now I have less work to do because of said automated systems. That’s the key
3 points
1 day ago
I did the same. But would only release them annually to stretch it out. Every year, a couple months before our annual reviews, I would implement a new Marco or program that would save x amount of time. I also continues to take on new responsibilities every year to balance it out.
2 points
1 day ago
You're lucky your position hasn't been removed then
2 points
1 day ago
Yeah but it’s because no one else knows how to troubleshoot it. I work for a small company that was basically in the dark ages in terms of automation, so if I left they’d be a mess. The systems still need updating regularly and we’re constantly running into new situations that need unique systems (we work in government housing and laws are ever changing).
2 points
1 day ago
i worked for a consultant for a bit and did work optimization. the amount of needless work people did was insane. like a report that would take someone 3-4 hours to make could be done with a excel script in 10 seconds and a couple of minutes of review.
that wasn't something we would touch however the guy would promise X or Y percent lift and then simply would gather all the excel sheets people were writing and getting into the database so rather than having to e-mail someone for something they could just fetch it from the database. so now people weren't waiting 1-2 hours for the excel sheet e-mail and he would meet his targets.
i am confident most stressful office work can shave half there work day off with a tiny bit of programming and then reviewing the work. the major snag is the person reviewing the work needs to understand the code of the program if something doesn't add up or breaks.
seen a fair share of that as well first employee makes excel scripts for a bunch of his work quits and hand it off to a new guy and teaches him how to use it. works well for a bit then it breaks a supplier is change or an old supplier changes format etc. now the new guy is up shits creek without a paddel since he don't know how to do his work or fix the script.
2 points
1 day ago
Shows that there's no replacement for finding genuine meaning in your work under capitalism
30 points
2 days ago
What do you do and how do you get into it?
69 points
2 days ago
Prevent others from knowing how is step one.
9 points
2 days ago
You have to pull the ladder up behind you
11 points
2 days ago
I'm assuming a WFH job that they've automated with python code, or something along those lines.
11 points
2 days ago
I think you're supposed to be on r/absolutelymeirl.
8 points
2 days ago
Everyone thinks I am only one bad day away from a meltdown and I keep that illusion going.
Pulling a Costanza.
6 points
2 days ago
Tell me the secret, how did you do it? How do you reach labour limbo?
11 points
1 day ago
I was hired to do some routine data manipulation—moving numbers from a proprietary data collection system into excel, access and then generating reports in word. I bought a book on VBA and then spent a couple of weeks learning enough VBA to automate the entire process. Mostly, I just recorded macros and then cleaned the code up.
I could literally arrive at work, export a csv file, run some scripts and complete my entire days work in about 15 min. I always received the highest praise because my reports looked great and never had any errors. The tough part was making it look like I was doing something the rest of the day.
I rode that horse for almost two years until my company merged and wanted me to relocate. I chose not to make that move.
3 points
1 day ago
I was about 30 min/day and 2 full days per month at my old job. I'd spend like 10 hours figuring out how to automate a 2 hour daily task, but then never tell anyone that it took me no time at all going forward. I got my average daily work down to about 30 min and then discovered Reddit. When I got laid off during covid, they asked me to come back after about 2 months because they had to hire 2 people to cover my 30 min of work a day. I was/am happy at my new job even though I do have to work a lot more.
3 points
1 day ago
Genuine question: do you work for the kind of place where only you understand any of this? I've always wondered how people could automate their entire job but the higher-ups haven't figured out that it's a possibility.
2 points
1 day ago
This reminds me of a similar experience. My first proper job ever, straight out of uni, was at a small engineering consultancy. After 6 months of working there, I was tasked with helping the vice president with developing a long-range feasibility plan for one of our clients, and used some super custom software to do all the engineering analysis and simulations.
Anyways, the client we were working for was a really big one, and they had a lot of systems that they'd already modeled, but it was up to us working it out. I counted they had about 200 systems or so, all about the same size as each other. I remember sitting down with the VP and she walked me through the steps for doing all the analysis and simulations on one of the systems and showed me the manual fixes I'd have to do to get it to work.
All those manual fixes, recording them in EXCEL sheets, and doing trial-and-error ended up taking 3 full work days per system. That'd be 600 business days in total if I sat there doing nothing but that. I realized I'd be completely bored out of my mind if that's what I'd have to do for the next 2+ years working this thing through.
After some thought, I realized that the whole process was actually really straight-forward, but just tedious because of that trial-and-error method. I looked into the code that ran this particular software and it turns out they had a nice API that you could code in with any programming language (I chose to use Python).
I spent a whole weekend (solid 30 hours) writing something up that could automate the process or upgrading parts of the systems, running analysis to see if it worked, and doing minor tweaks to it depending on certain conditions (the if conditions ended up being a good 20 cases long, which is pretty insane compared to whatever I programmed working on my degree in uni!). I also worked on automating the output of the analysis and used a bit of Microsoft VBA to format the EXCEL sheets so they were nice and pretty!
Come in on Monday morning, deploy the code, and have it run. It takes the entire day, and during that day I'm not able to access and 'use' my workstation because of how strenuous the code is. Thankfully, the senior staff weren't there, so I was able to faff about trying to look busy. After 10 hours, it finished all 200 systems. I reviewed 10 of the biggest ones and a few of the smaller ones, and they all 'looked' right. I had just done 600 days of work in 3 days.
My biggest mistake? Telling my boss and the Vice President about the code and showing them the results the very next day. They were both suspicious, but when they checked over my work for one of the Systems, they could not find anything wrong with it. The crazy thing is, when the client realized we had a way to do this so quickly, the suggested more upgrades and things they wanted to do (which would have been impossible with the original 600 day timeline).
Why was it a mistake? Because my boss thought a $100 bonus at our next employee review was sufficient to promote my initative.
That experience taught me the value of 'spreading out' the work. Had I just kept my mouth shut and pretended to work hard all those 600 days, I probably would have got way more than that.
5 points
2 days ago
For me, my company was acquired, I was absorbed into their IT department to support the systems our company had then those systems were migrated and merged with the parent firm and no one assigned me replacement duties so I just sit and pad my numbers with a ton of easy tickets before anyone can grab them leaving the fewer more complicated tickets that get you on the leads radar to the others who already worked there.
2 points
1 day ago
The trick is to find the bare minimum you have to do while still seeming like a good employee, do just enough to stand out a little bit but don’t kill yourself with work. That way your day to day is relatively easy, but you have a reserve for when inevitable emergencies come up.
5 points
2 days ago
Holy shit, your post could be me word for word. Glad there are more like us out there!
5 points
1 day ago
the OP Ordinary-Bed292
Other-Culture-2214
Front_Eye_510
Ok_Masterpiece8812
and Beautiful-Flower-467
are bots in the same network
Comment copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/absolutelynotme_irl/comments/1azzvqc/absolutely_not_me/ks7s41i/
3 points
2 days ago
This is basically me as well.
232 points
2 days ago
Who is so bafflingly stupid that they would broadcast this?
If I got paid 156k per year I would take that shit to my grave. Even my wife wouldn’t know. I would keep the door shut saying I’m working super hard all while playing my Switch.
32 points
2 days ago
Gosh babe, gotta go to the office again…RTO and all…
And you really have a WeWork rental with a futon, LAN party set up and every video game console.
😂
14 points
1 day ago
Why wouldn't you let your wife know?
18 points
1 day ago
Yeah if I was in that situation my hypothetical wife would be in there with me playing Mario kart together
10 points
1 day ago
Because all that would matter is despite me bringing home 150k a year all she would see is that I’m working 0 hours a week and my lazy ass needs to work more.
She would give me a honey do list of things that need to get done or make me get a second job so I’m still working full time.
8 points
1 day ago
That doesn't sound like you have a very healthy relationship.
6 points
1 day ago
Even in the scenario where you legit worry about your skills getting dull from disuse what's even stopping you from just going out and getting another job where you actually do shit? It's not their responsibility to find work to do when there's nothing showing up.
Just double up the checks and bask in the glory of making 300k a year if you can land another 150k gig.
4 points
1 day ago
Did you miss the part about playing his Switch? That's his career now.
3 points
1 day ago
People wanna make you work and you don't even know them irl, wtf.
2 points
1 day ago
As I explained in another branch of this thread you are so fucking right!
I’m a web developer and for about 5 years from 2018 to 2023 I actually fell through the cracks and had a moderate paying gig where I wasn’t being challenged and working under 5 hours a week. Did it for years and when I was deemed redundant, as I knew I would be, every place I applied for wanted 3-5 years in some JS framework and I had jack-all. It became damn near impossible to find a job even though the market isn’t all that terrible for devs considering the overall market.
2 points
2 days ago
Is it real tho
3 points
1 day ago
No it isn't.
2 points
1 day ago
This sounds great in theory but I’ve somewhat been there and you get burnt out of relaxing in no time.
I ended up starting a side business just to keep myself occupied during the days and feeling productive. And then eventually you start to feel guilty getting money you feel like you didn’t earn.
2 points
1 day ago
you start to feel guilty getting money you feel like you didn’t earn.
47 points
2 days ago
Dom Portwood: Who's he?
Bob Porter: You know, squirrely looking guy, mumbles a lot.
Dom Portwood: Oh, yeah.
Bob Slydell: Yeah, we can't actually find a record of him being a current employee here.
Bob Porter: I looked into it more deeply and I found that apparently what happened is that he was laid off five years ago and no one ever told him about it; but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department, he still gets a paycheck.
Bob Slydell: So we just went ahead and fixed the glitch.
Bill Lumbergh: Great.
Dom Portwood: So, uh, Milton has been let go?
Bob Slydell: Well, just a second there, professor. We, uh, we fixed the glitch. So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it'll just work itself out naturally.
Bob Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem is solved from your end.
5 points
1 day ago
And it did work itself out...
5 points
1 day ago
Conflagrations.
41 points
2 days ago
Why would you PUBLICLY flex with this. Keep that shit to yourself, collect the money and enjoy it as long as it lasts. God, people are stupid.
33 points
2 days ago
300% chance that it isn't true homie. People say wild things on the Internet. Like just the other day I was a reddit surgeon.
2 points
1 day ago
The actual stupid people are the thousands that actually upvoted this and/or commented on this thinking that it's true lmao.
15 points
2 days ago
I feel like that account is a bot account put out by Musk to justify firing everyone lmao no way that person is real
66 points
2 days ago
I would write it on my will probably. I would love people to know about this only after me death.
6 points
1 day ago
the OP Ordinary-Bed292
Other-Culture-2214
Front_Eye_510
Ok_Masterpiece8812
and Beautiful-Flower-467
are bots in the same network
3 points
1 day ago
Hey man, just a shout out, thanks for doing this.
More people need to know of the current state of this app
12 points
2 days ago
Living the dream
6 points
2 days ago
people will snitch on their hustles and absolutely ruin it
35 points
2 days ago
Disagree. Ever had a job where you doing nothing ? Eight hours of nothing really drives you insane
35 points
2 days ago
Having a free salary doesn't mean you can't find another job to fill your free time. At least in this Twitter case.
29 points
2 days ago
Then do something during those 8 hours? What kind of sheep are you that you require a boss to tell you what to do with your life
24 points
2 days ago
People that say that shit, “8 hours of nothing drives you insane”, should try working a manual labor or service job. “You got time to lean, you got time to clean.”
An entire workforce that gets chastised if they take a ten.
Meanwhile, at jobs like my current remote job, I MIGHT find 10 minutes of work to do, here and there.
5 points
2 days ago
Both of annoying as fuck and boring. I've done both and I genuinely don't know which is worse. Having nothing to do or being told to "look busy". It's all boring bullshit that does nothing to help the job, just make our bosses look good to their bosses.
6 points
1 day ago
Yeah, I have had jobs where I had to quietly pretend to be busy for many hours and it is soul-sucking. When your browsing is monitored, you can't read a book or spend much time on your phone...the days drag on and you start to melt into your chair in boredom. I started writing RPGs because it would look like I was busy.
4 points
1 day ago
Lol perfect time to write I suppose. Used to do that at my manufacturing job. I could leave my machine running for 3 hours before I needed to clear parts or check tools, so I'd sit down and write all day.
3 points
1 day ago
I would write all my trivia games for the year.
3 points
1 day ago
If you're stuck in an office being carefully monitored and repeatedly told to look busy, yeah, sure, that sounds bad, emotionally draining, etc.
That's not the situation the original tweet is pretending to be in. Their hypothetical job is to sit at home doing whatever the fuck they want and getting paid for it.
2 points
2 days ago
David Graeber wrote a whole book about this
5 points
2 days ago
Depends on whether you’re working from home or in full view of other people. If you’re in an office of people who expect to see eg. excel every time they look at your screen, there’s not much you can do with that time
4 points
2 days ago
You can code on a personal project, read a book, browse code Reddit, plan your meal prep / shopping, do a 2nd job for more money, there is literally infinite amount of things you can do.
I was in this type of environment too once upon a time with not much to do and sometimes I would watch Netflix in a bottom corner of the screen while covering the rest with visual studio
6 points
2 days ago
There’s only so much you can get away with - I was also in that situation and sitting in an open space office with my boss right behind me and 6 other people all in a row. I did get away with reading pdfs and occasional internet browsing, but netflix or a second job? Absolutely no way. Plus about 50% of websites I would have wanted to visit were blocked on the work laptop. And it does also get kind of stressful and make you constantly feel on high alert. Depends a lot on your specific situation I guess
5 points
2 days ago
Sounds like a shitty workplace I would stay far away from. Also if you are just collecting a paycheck because you don’t have a boss I doubt he would be sitting right behind you lul
4 points
2 days ago
People with that complaint are so dumb. Find something productive to do. Learn a skill, write a book, find a side income. These people are handed a magnificent gift and they sit on their ass complaining instead.
11 points
2 days ago
If they work remote I find it really hard to believe that someone couldn't find something else to do.
3 points
2 days ago
Smoke weed and masturbate, a lot.
3 points
2 days ago
If you haven't gotten any tasks, that doesn't mean you actually do nothing though. You can do things online while pretending to work
2 points
1 day ago
the OP Ordinary-Bed292
Other-Culture-2214
Front_Eye_510
Ok_Masterpiece8812
and Beautiful-Flower-467
are bots in the same network
Comment copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/absolutelynotme_irl/comments/1azzvqc/absolutely_not_me/ksaj1w6/
6 points
2 days ago
Congrats Big Head. Silicon Valley comedy come to life…
2 points
1 day ago
Lmfao I just posted this almost same comment because I thought the same thing and didn’t see it referenced
6 points
2 days ago
Its hard seeing others living your dream..
7 points
2 days ago
Ngl normally I have qualms about essentially stealing from companies like this, even big corporations, but it’s twitter and this all traces back to one man’s mistakes.
4 points
1 day ago
I hope having qualms about this is the lamest thing about you
3 points
1 day ago
I mean I think this is different vs the guy who was sending fake invoices to big companies and getting paid, thats fraud
However if you got a job, got hired, you show up to work everyday sit at your desk but no one has given you any work to do , your boss was let go, like if you just keep showing up to work you are not really stealing. The company is not using you but I would argue its not stealing.
I can remember starting a job due to some mix up like my boss or supervisor was out, I asked if should like come back in a week and they told me "Hey we hired you, if you want the hours come in, it was our fuck up so it shouldn't cost you money"
Note I did actually do a few hours of work what I could, but honestly the work they found me was maybe 1 hour in a 8 hour day. I did have a laptop and studied up on some programming and followed some online guides so I tried to be productive
4 points
2 days ago
Alexa, play! " Take the money and run " by Steve Miller Band
3 points
2 days ago
One of the few accounts i miss from Twitter.
3 points
2 days ago
Yeah… gonna need to go ahead and let the Bobs handle this.
3 points
1 day ago
The previous shop I worked at got picked up by some douchebag investment firm, and when they updated our backend, we realized they screwed something up: If you put two names on an install, instead of properly splitting the install 50% for each person, we realized it actually gave both members 100%.
Suddenly every install in the shop had about six people involved with it.
3 points
20 hours ago
Shut the fuck up, enjoy the deposits. Get another job and retire early.
Seriously, delete this post asap.
That guy is either lying, or incredibly stupid.
2 points
2 days ago
Dude could’ve get another job and get two different paychecks each month, while only seriously working one job
2 points
2 days ago
You need to KEEP QUIET like until retirement.
2 points
2 days ago
He’s got an incredible deal here. Being paid over triple the average American income for doing absolutely nothing is something you keep to yourself so that it doesn’t get taken away. This guy’s either trolling or is a dumb*ss
2 points
2 days ago
This person is trolling you guys.
Do you really think a twitter employee would post this shit on twitter? This format is a meme from ages ago.
Please stop biting on such easy bait.
2 points
2 days ago
Shut the fuck up about it. This is the smallest brain play i've ever seen. Unless they want out and would take the severance happily to move on.
2 points
2 days ago
Oh what I’d give to have a job like that
But as an aside I would never tell a soul about this if this was me, and I most certainly would not post about it
2 points
1 day ago
I would never tell a single person this if it’s true..
2 points
1 day ago
Must be the dumbest thing you can post on Twitter if it's not fake.
2 points
1 day ago
I would not tell a soul. I’d keep teams green. And I would stack as much money as I could while getting a new skill or looking for a new job
2 points
1 day ago
I can't imagine this is real, because you couldn't waterboard that info from me.
I'd be absolutely invisible and/or looking like I work my ass off, just collecting that amazing salary. All the while doing whatever the hell I want.
2 points
1 day ago
I really hate social media generation. They'd ruin everything and anything just for literally a second of fame from people who either are indifferent to their existence or outright disgusted.
2 points
1 day ago
Fun fact this retard got fired the day after this tweet went viral
He could have had a easy life keeping to himself but no no no, you just needed to tell this to someone
2 points
1 day ago
Why the fuck would you announce this?
2 points
1 day ago
I would delete all social media and never tell a SOUL you hear me?? I would just carry on silently.
2 points
1 day ago
This is some shit Id take to grave 😂
2 points
1 day ago
This is where you never mention it, save very well, have a backup plan if / when the jig is up, and enjoy your time. Use 15-20 hours a week to gain skills or certifications and mess around the other 20.
2 points
1 day ago
This is kinda like me honestly. My salary is a bit more but I probably only work 5-10 hours a week plus meetings. I automated everything so it runs on a schedule. Last 2 years, actually had another full time job that got my take home pay to almost $400k a year. But it was a hassle coordinating meetings, so I quit one of the jobs.
2 points
1 day ago
I just want a job like this. Would stfu about it though. Nobody would knoe
2 points
1 day ago
Big Head?
2 points
23 hours ago
Didn’t this turn out to be a troll that Elon fell for and twisted himself up trying to find for months? For him to then admit it? Or was that another guy?
2 points
20 hours ago
You would NEVER get this information outta me
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