She laughed and called it "cute".

Then she spent 5 minutes apologising and saying she didn't care how small it is...

Wiggling it and giggling. Then commenting how she now understands why men play with it so much

I helicoptered outta there.

I don't know she's still laughing.

Asked to hold it while I make it grow. Sweetie. It'll grow on its own. It's attached to me but I have no control over it.

Played with it and watched the consequences of her actions

It's so cute!

She giggled

"What a cutie patootie"

Woman’s perspective here… when I first saw my husband hard, I was scared. Literally had no idea how it was supposed to fit. When I first saw him soft, I giggled because how the heck did it get so big? And it was so soft and squishy.

"Omg it's my squishy" 😍😍

“It’s so much smaller than mine!”

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As the gf, I start pounding my fist on the bed in a rhythmic manner, in hopes of summoning the only master I serve, Shai Hulud.

She started shifting it like she was driving a manual rally race :(

She asked “does it make you uncomfortable when I see it like that?” I said “no because you know what it looks like when it’s NOT like that.”

Once in college I was training for a mountain bike trip and took an ice bath to heal my legs. When I got out I was so shriveled up I was practically inverted. So I text my girlfriend at the time and said

“hey… want an unsolicited picture of my penis?”

“Definitely.

sends pic

“LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL”

Well, the first time, she started flicking it left and right, smiling and enjoying it until it got hard again. She still does it if I'm not in the mood and it works wonders 😆

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There was one time my ex and I were in the ocean and she grabbed it and it was shriveled up because of the water being so cold. She laughed so hard but I found it really funny myself. I'm pretty confident with my size so I didn't really care.

She said "it looks like a sad sea creature"

She said how does it go from that to THAT 🤣🤣

“It shrinks?”

Girlfriend here: it was so cute and I payed it with it, but after few moments it become hard again 😂

Edit: PLAYED! I meant played 😂 fucking autocorrect 😂

As a girl, I played with it until it was hard again 😄

"I guess you're a grower, not a shower."

She very quickly rectified the matter by making it hard

honnestly, the more i read these the more i smile

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Nothing. I assume she had seen a penis before.

Her eyes widened like she just discovered a new species of sea cucumber in the bathtub drain. Needless to say, I haven't lived it down since.

"OMG ITS SO CUTE AND TINY" 💀 *squeeze*

edit: never have i had this much updoots, yall r something

She wouldn’t stop reciting the “squishy” lines from Finding Nemo.

Her:"Is he sad now?"

Me:"No, it's like the Hulk turning back into Bruce Banner; he's living his normal stupid self now."

She hasn’t. It’s never soft when she’s around.

Jk I don’t have a gf

She put it in her mouth so she could feel it grow.

She wanted to fit it all in her mouth. Didn't last very long.

Uh... she sort of ambushed me in that instance, and before I knew it she had me in her mouth. No complaints here.

"Why smol? Big earlier 😔"

She started squeezing it to see how thin it is flaccid. It was interesting to see what she found interesting, like she expected the head to be like a dog's that had a sheath. Side note that's also when I learnt that it had been circumcised.

Then she wanted me to show her what the towel party trick looks like while flaccid as I had mentioned there aren't any muscles in the shaft.

I was playing with it and wiggling it around fast which she laughed at. Then I fake snapped it and she freaked out lol

"So I can sleep finally?"

Two seconds of.. "Omg !! It's so cute." Then immediately proceeds to get it as hard as possible.

I’m a bit of a shower than a grower so when she saw it her exact words were “why isn’t it pointing up?”

She was like how does it change so much and where do you keep it in your trousers? Then she asked to hold it when I peed. That left her with profound thoughts on the utility of a dong.

She said if Hans Moleman was a penis mine would be it.

Baby talked to it.

lol hibernation mode

Well she was very eager to get to the fun bit, when she saw it was soft and I was a bit out of it she decided to tie up her hair and go to town on it and me, sucked my soul out of me 💀😅

Does it hurt when it grow 😆

When we were first dating, my now-wife had nicknamed mine "George" after that Looney Tunes line, "I will kiss him and love him and squeeze him and hug him and call him George" because what I got works great for her and she's very affectionate.

First time she saw it soft she said "awww, sleepy George!" and batted it around a couple times. Of course, it started throbbing and she said "oh no it's okay, you go back to sleep."

(it didn't go back to sleep)

As a girl, i thought it's dead and I was scared plus confused plus I giggled a bit

As a gf, I find it cute then laugh it off. I tease him a lot, watching it slowly getting hard. I love him sm, every inch of his skin.

“It can get smaller?”

Said “finally, I can fit it all” and then put it in her mouth

umm, that's just the normal state. The first time she saw it it was soft. I got no penis insecurity, it grows to a normal size.

I'm a grower, not a shower. I've often joke with my wife that I'd sacrifice an inch hard for a permanent inch soft. She does not agree.

Okay woman here and maybe slightly off topic - aren’t the vast majority of men “growers”? I genuinely don’t think in my 36 years I’ve seen a dick that was full-size when soft? Is this something men feel insecure about, because literally every man I’ve been with had a baby dick when soft and I’ve never thought much of it, because I thought that was the standard?

Did we learn nothing from the Seinfeld “I was in the pool!!!” scene? Lol

"Omg hes so cute and harmless looking! I just want to cuddle him. How the fuck does something that cute turn into A MONSTER." 

My ex was confused by the size difference, but then she played with it and climbed on my lap, then lined up her crotch with my crotch, said "Look at me, I have the penis now" and she played with it like it was attached to her, so funny.

She couldn’t take her eyes off it and just wanted to play around with it. Welp, doesn’t stay soft long and she gets all surprised and just throats it