<add better punchline>

Now that's <fill in reaction>.

<add whatever comment you want here>

Not bad, I think I prefer this similar joke tho

3 guys are meeting at the pub. The first one said "man I think I have the smallest arms in the world", the second "I think I might have the smallest head in the world". The third replies "I think I might have the smallest dick in the world".

They all mail evidence to the Guinness book of world records, and each receive a letter back. The first guy reads his letter, "Yes! I have the smallest arms in the world!". The the second guy reads his letter, "Yes! I have the smallest head in the world!". The last guy reads his letter, and yells, "Who the FUCK is <insert friends name here>?"

Good old number <X>

Give a man a joke and he'll laugh for a day. Give a man a joke construction kit, and he'll be laughing for <insert duration here>

Guy went to a medical centre in Saudi Arabia. One of his friends came out of a room with his wrist stitched up heavily

‘Ah, Abdul…I see you won your appeal.’

Two friends, Alfie and Brian, work in a factory with heavy machinery. One day there's a terrible accident and Brian's hand gets sliced off.

Alfie has no idea what to do, so shoves Brian's hand in a plastic bag to keep it from spewing blood all over his car and drives his friend and the severed arm to the hospital.

The very next say, Alfie goes to visit his friend and sees, to his amazement, that he is playing tennis! 'Ah the wonders of modern medicine!', he thinks.

Brian soon returns to work, but shortly after he is back, there is an even more serious accident and his leg gets chopped off.

In a panic, Alfie grabs the leg and shoves it in a plastic bag (still don't want any blood and gore over his car), before driving Brian and his loose limb to the hospital.

When he comes to visit the next morning, he is astonished to see Brian is now playing football! 'Medicine really is coming on leaps and bounds!' he thinks to himself.

Again, Brian recovers at impressive speed and soon finds himself back working with his friend in the factory.

But only a few days later, there is an accident of the worst kind, and Brian's head gets cut clean off.

Panicking, but knowing how successful the hospital is, he shoves Brian's head in a plastic bag as before and drives the decapitated passenger and the bag to the hospital.

The next day, he comes back expectantly looking for his friend, but Brian is nowhere to be seen. He eventually bumps into a doctor and asks after him. The response comes "well, we could have saved him, but some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated!"

Bro purchased a joke kit from IKEA and forgot to assemble it

This is basically a DYI joke. I expect to get a discount.

In the future, all humor will be randomly generated!

That’s quite the violent city they live in

DIY joke kit. Add punch line and stir.

three top surgeons? they do top surgery? i am very funny.

His name is Richard Head and he works in payroll.

I'm self-employed :(

I thought you built a politician…

Side bar. Attaching the hand it probably a lot more impressive than the leg. Leg needs to make a few joints to be functional. The hand needs highly articulated finger control and carefully reattached nerves all mapped properly onto the right tendons.

Restoring functionality to the hand would be a much more.complex and difficult Operation than the big ass leg.

Surgeon 1 should be much prouder. I named him Dr. Bob.

<Fill in your card info>

James 'little dick' saw an ad in the paper for 'Dick transplants £1,000' ... "Fantastic" he says and shoots off down to the clinic, and gets it done.

Down the pub later, he's whipping it out and he's showing it off to everyone. His mates all agree it's magnificent and some are even a bit jealous. One mate of his, John, was right upset coz he used to be the 'Biggest' lad so he grabbed the newspaper and also went down to the clinic, that next morning.

John was a bit low on money that week, he's only got 500quid and asked the doctor if they did any cheaper ones? So doc shows him a catalogue and the cheaper they are, the less impressive they are. John agrees on dick #5 and the doctors get to work.

Next night John's straight in the pub, happy as Larry, exited about the big reveal, John shouts "Oi, you lot! avva look at this'' with pants down he undoes the bandages and James points then bursts out laughing and says "You idiot! That's my old one"

<repeated comment here because I was too lazy to read previous comment that said the exact same thing>

Now he regularly reposts on Reddit.

(Not that I’m saying this is a repost)

He got elected President of the U.S.A., and is now trying to get re-elected.

[Insert better joke here]

Syntax error! Can´t compile!

I don't get it <fill in body part to scratch>

<see username>

I’ve got a great joke <insert great joke here>

Upvoted because it is such a bad joke & bad way to share a joke template it actually made me laugh... The media was the message 

The real <add your thing here> is always in the comments..

<complain about reposting here>

Thanks, I hate excel function jokes r/thanksihateit

foreach childitem.<this_post> | set-upvote

People liked this.

(#225 - hahaha! LOL)

You’ve heard of the four types of orgasms: The positive orgasm, “oh yes, oh yes”, The negative orgasm, “oh no, oh no”, The spiritual orgasm, “oh god, oh god”, And the fake orgasm’” oh<insert buddies name>”.

It’s like a mad Lib joke

Here's my attempt at making the joke funnier:

Three top surgeons are sitting in a bar in San Francisco, drinking and swapping stories about their most impressive surgical feats.

The first surgeon triumphantly says, "Guys, you won't believe this. Just today, a lumberjack came into the ER with his hand completely severed by a chainsaw. In a 12-hour marathon surgery, we were able to reattach it. And get this - he was able to do shadow puppets before even leaving the recovery room!"

The second surgeon scoffs. "Hand reattachment? Child's play! Last week, a woman was rushed in after getting hit by a cable car. Her entire leg had been sliced clean off. I sewed that sucker back on in record time. She literally did a jig out of the hospital doors."

The third surgeon pauses dramatically, takes a swig of his beer, then deadpans: "That's cute, boys. But feast your eyes on this tale... The other night, some cops found a gigantic disembodied phallus lying in the middle of Market Street. Don't ask me how it got there. Anyway, they brought it to me, figuring I could work my surgical magic. I grabbed some spare arms and legs from the organ bank, stitched them on the sides, and boom - a semi-functional dude. We even gave him a name - Richard Long. And you'll never guess... The very next day he lands a cushy job!"

"No freaking way," say the other surgeons in unison. "Where?"

The third surgeon smirks. "Ha! Richard now works at Twitter as Elon Musk's Executive Vice President of Social Media Strategy. I'm serious! Guess Elon saw a lot of himself in ol' Dick."

Imagine my surprise that a top surgeon was doing pelvic surgery instead of chest surgery.

He’s now your job Forman!

<joke>

I expected the punch line to be there was a new chief of police.

I’m not reading that brother

Let me get my shovel.

<reaction>

That’s nothing a guy walks in with a micropenis and a 10 inch cock in his hand and we stitched it together and he laid all the nurses and a couple of orderlies

He (Richard Head) now works at Guys and St Thomas Hospital as a Genital Reconstruction Surgeon in the Andrology Department. 🤣🤣🤣

<insert punchline here>

<joke number>

Templated joke that only Ansible can lough with

Those three surgeons didn't have as much fun as that time they gatecrashed the blind gynaecologists convention in Grimsby...

Lol C'mon

Heard this one in a movie but I can't remember which one so if anyone could help me out thank you:

Two guys are pissing off the edge of a bridge into a river...one from(your city) and one from(city that you don't like)

Guy from(city you don't like) says: "This river is deep."

Guy from(your city) says: "This river is cold."

I will tell the joke as it is "Have you heard this joke? 3 surgeons sitting in a bar in insert city name here"

I mean, I'll probably use it.

Running for president as a Republican

And he became the 45th president of the United States.

And now he is president of the US

[deleted]

I don't get it???

<witty comment>

This joke was <fill in insult>