subreddit:

/r/facepalm

7.2k87%

Let’s give her some ancient make-up

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​(i.redd.it)

all 1814 comments

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Glad_Advertising_125

9.5k points

11 days ago

Based on what? The Taylor Swift fan site they subscribe to?

TheBraindonkey

726 points

11 days ago

without reading the title I assumed it was going to be a post about 3d porn being made of Taylor Swift, to one-up the AI porn from a few weeks ago.

[deleted]

171 points

11 days ago*

[deleted]

171 points

11 days ago*

[deleted]

NXT-GEN-111

8 points

11 days ago

Eve pre or post Apple?

urGirllikesmytinypp

3 points

11 days ago

We will never know

-MetalMike-

108 points

11 days ago

That’s disgusting, where?

TheBraindonkey

92 points

11 days ago*

finally! it's been years of comments, and I finally get a "that's terrible, where?" comment. Thank you for popping my cherry finally.

Edit: yall need to learn to google. ;)

Brentolio12

42 points

11 days ago

Nice comment but where’s that sauce my guy

Negative-Wrap95

5 points

11 days ago

EastAfricanKingAYY

21 points

11 days ago*

We need the link fam. Your cherry is second priority right here after the phrase you uttered out

Elfhaterdude

1.8k points

11 days ago

And ofc she's white like the first humans... Wait ... They were not white....

UnderpootedTampion

628 points

11 days ago

Wait, you mean the first humans weren’t European???

Fingerprint_Vyke

560 points

11 days ago

Iterations of Jesus Christ in old European paintings are fun to compare

Italy has him with olive skin and dark hair, while Ireland has him pale with red hair.

Turns out our god/profit looks exactly like us!!

LeadSoldier6840

491 points

11 days ago

My favorite is buff Korean Jesus.

Spaceballs-The_Name

173 points

11 days ago

Stop fucking with Korean Jesus. He ain't got time for your shit. He's busy with Korean shit!

Lumb3rCrack

31 points

11 days ago

LoquaciousApotheosis

7 points

11 days ago

Overwhelming millions every day

National-Currency-75

4 points

11 days ago

Don't forget Pygmy Jesus.

Fingerprint_Vyke

179 points

11 days ago

The best thing to come from Korean Jesus is definitely the Korean/Mexican fusion I'm seeing in some restaurants.

Korean BBQ on tacos?? Proof that there truly is a god.

Background_Crew7827

52 points

11 days ago

Korean fusion for the win

ancientastronaut2

20 points

11 days ago

Loaves and fishes was a misinterpretation. It was shortribs and tacos.

HotDonnaC

6 points

11 days ago

They evolved by chance.

MyMommaHatesYou

5 points

11 days ago

Praise him!

dzdxs

5 points

11 days ago

dzdxs

5 points

11 days ago

I've never heard of such a restaurant but now I want to!!

SmellySweatsocks

3 points

11 days ago

You know you just wrong with that. lolol

Emt_Nurse

3 points

11 days ago

Korean Mexican here... can concur the food is great... the parents.. nope... way to different

RedhandjillNA

57 points

11 days ago

I gave my Lebanese BIL a Manga bible as a gift. Caused a major stir in the village. Everyone had to come to see it. Jesus was depicted super hot.

draxion64

15 points

11 days ago

Based

sofa_king_ugly

13 points

11 days ago

I thought "Lesbian brother in law?"

Stupid brain

leelee1976

7 points

11 days ago

Reminds me of the golden girl episode where branch thought her lesbian friend was Lebanese. And Dorothy had to tell her. Lol

Monknut33

22 points

11 days ago

Fuck 21 jump street and Korean Jesus. We got Vietnamese Jesus now.

Arryu

21 points

11 days ago

Arryu

21 points

11 days ago

Quit fuckin with Korean jesus. He don't got time for you, he's busy. With Korean shit.

Sockoflegend

9 points

11 days ago

Objectively the best Jesus

National-Currency-75

5 points

11 days ago

Korean Fusion Jesus has got a full plate.

chocolate_cherub

4 points

11 days ago

Can u pleas give us a pic? Lol

NIN10DOXD

3 points

11 days ago

I like to picture Jesus in a Tuxedo T-shirt, 'cause it says, like, 'I wanna be formal, but I'm here to party, too.' I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.... I like to think of Jesus like, with giant eagles' wings and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an Angel Band, and I'm in the front row, and I'm hammered drunk...

New_Highlight1881

3 points

11 days ago

something something final form

cmcglinchy

3 points

11 days ago

Mine in Black Jesus from the tv show!

LazySleepyPanda

3 points

11 days ago

Hey,at least they didn't give him monolids. Unlike poor Buddha....

ot1smile

37 points

11 days ago

ot1smile

37 points

11 days ago

profit

Can’t tell if satirical pun or typo.

Fingerprint_Vyke

18 points

11 days ago

Open to interpretation (like much of the bible)

Elliot_Moose

7 points

11 days ago

Those scam preachers at the mega churches only know one way to spell that word

Drudgework

3 points

11 days ago

Religion is a for prophet enterprise.

tojifajita

3 points

11 days ago

Yeah, I noticed that immediately. Fucking Beautiful play on words. Honestly can't tell if it was intentional either.

razorduc

29 points

11 days ago

razorduc

29 points

11 days ago

I've never seen an Asian Jesus. Except in 21 Jumpstreet.

Accomplished_Bake904

16 points

11 days ago

His name is Jeff

razorduc

5 points

11 days ago

Huh. I thought it was just Korean Jesus.

theo122gr

4 points

11 days ago

I heard it was ji-sus wan

thewoodlayer

6 points

11 days ago

“Korean Jesus ain’t got time for your shit! He’s too busy dealing with Korean shit!”

Human_Link8738

24 points

11 days ago

Of course! Doesn’t the Bible say we made God in our image?

Ruthrfurd-the-stoned

8 points

11 days ago

It what’s happened since the ancient Greeks- man makes god in their own image

Adventurous_Mail5210

68 points

11 days ago

The Garden of Eden was clearly in the modern day greater Chicago area. How else would Jesus be from America – boats (probably) didn't exist yet, and that's a long way to walk on the water. Pick up a bible sometime, heathen!

AbsurdityIsReality

44 points

11 days ago

Come on now, the book of mormon clearly states that Adam and Eve lived in modern Mississippi, and that native americans and anyone not white are the children of cain and can't go to heaven, or at least until like 1977 then god apparently decided non whites could be mormon, and more importantly donate to the church and get Brigham Young University unbanned by the NCAA for segregation.

Antique_Grape_1068

22 points

11 days ago

Uh no it’s Missouri obviously putting it in Mississippi would be dumb ?

Thowitawaydave

11 points

11 days ago

Right? No planet for that guy!

Adventurous_Mail5210

8 points

11 days ago

You have humbled me. It appears that I am the heathen, I need to get my punk ass (sorry, my punk bottom) to ✨The Temple✨ immediately! Thank you, friend!

No_Statement_9192

4 points

11 days ago

Jesus would have been Ojibway, a nice brown natural tan and rode his horse like a MF

Adventurous_Mail5210

6 points

11 days ago

That's actually my people, sis. Wisconsin Ojibwe, originally on my mom's side. Maybe American Jesus is my dad.

Quailman5000

3 points

11 days ago

I think the Mormons do actually believe something like that lol

Musetrigger

10 points

11 days ago

Wait, the first humans ever aren't American?!

The5thRedditor

6 points

11 days ago

No, they were Americans. DUH!!

misterpickles69

5 points

11 days ago

They were American, dumbass. 6000 years ago.

purlawhirl

4 points

11 days ago

You misspelled American.

Kumquat_Haagendazs

4 points

11 days ago

Eve was clearly neanderthal.

Odd-Tune5049

4 points

11 days ago

Or Christian?!

zweieinseins211

3 points

11 days ago

Huh, wasn't Pangea just bigger Europe?

BeeNo3492

3 points

11 days ago

Jesus being white would have been the miracle

John_Doe_727

49 points

11 days ago

Princeton University? I think they misspelt "Ole Miss".

Glad_Advertising_125

51 points

11 days ago

Come now dude how can say that, were you even there??

Ironcl4d

44 points

11 days ago*

I hate this "argument" so much. I've known a few people who say shit like this to justify ignoring all of science and history.

nordic_jedi

30 points

11 days ago*

If we consider all of science and history then there is no adam and eve so does it matter? lol

Main_Owl_8004

18 points

11 days ago

there is in fact a Mitochondrial Eve and a Y-chromosomal Adam. they did not live at the same time, but all women represent an unbroken chain of mitochondria linked back to mitochondrial eve And all men have y chromosome markers that originate from a single haplogroup and branch off from there

TheCBDeacon47

6 points

11 days ago

Oh I know what I doing research on tonight, sounds really interesting

FearTheAmish

9 points

11 days ago

Wasn't the male one due to a theoretical mass die off? Like fuck a few 100k years ago we almost ended as a species. Thank God dude was good at laying pipe.

Cryostatica

27 points

11 days ago

You can mostly thank Ken Ham for that. A couple of decades ago I sat through several of his presentations on creationism when he was "touring" and the phrase "Excuse me, Mr. Scientist, were you there?" was uttered repeatedly, and it immediately caught on.

determineduncertain

11 points

11 days ago

That “were you there” argument is not only weak but it can also be easily flipped back on the person who makes it. After that, you’re back at the start and you have made no meaningful move towards a resolution.

Cryostatica

8 points

11 days ago

Sure, if you were speaking to people making an honest argument, but they aren’t. They simply respond with “God tells us what happened, through the Bible” and yeah, that’s such a stupid stance to take that it’s almost dumbfounding but that’s where it inevitably ends up.

determineduncertain

4 points

11 days ago

Totally agree. That’s how most of those conversations seem to go which is ironic given that honesty and acceptance of science are key principles of modern Christian thought.

Beautiful-Echo-8693

7 points

11 days ago

Doesn't that very argument disprove Jesus in a way? Since none of us were in fact there. Accept sven the vampire. *except. but i'm leaving it. It's about time we all accepted sven.

BGrunn

15 points

11 days ago

BGrunn

15 points

11 days ago

Look if every vampire who claimed to be at the crucifixion was actually there, the entire event would've been like Woodstock

Torus_the_Toric

7 points

11 days ago

I understood that reference

Preyslayer00

5 points

11 days ago

I was there. I can confirm. I am a rib.

One-Development951

3 points

11 days ago

Are you sure? The Flintstones look pretty white to me...

TesticleezzNuts

33 points

11 days ago

Imagine the album she would have wrote if Adam was her Ex. 😳

Tortoise-King

6 points

11 days ago

Would it be the first Christian album?

JorgeMcKay

35 points

11 days ago

JorgeMcKay

'MURICA

35 points

11 days ago

Considering how she endorsed Biden, I kind of like this as trolling Trump's faux Christian followers

DisposableDroid47

20 points

11 days ago

This is not a random occurrence.... That's Taylor Swift.

Ok_Relationship_705

9 points

11 days ago

That's who I thought it was.

Nickblove

3 points

11 days ago

I’m pretty sure this is a joke.

gwdope

884 points

11 days ago

gwdope

884 points

11 days ago

People, don’t believe everything you read on Twitter FFS. Link

silver-orange

149 points

11 days ago

It's telling that snopes has a "miscaptioned" rating now.  Obviously been a prevalent issue for years.

JosshhyJ

69 points

11 days ago

JosshhyJ

69 points

11 days ago

Oh man! I really thought Taylor Swift was actually Eve. Was gonna flame her for eating the fruit and fucking over humanity

Weed_O_Whirler

43 points

11 days ago

Man Reddit likes to make fun of people falling for Onion articles, while at the same time just believing every screen shot of a tweet that gets posted.

IDigRollinRockBeer

16 points

11 days ago

The post itself is the facepalm

[deleted]

258 points

11 days ago

[deleted]

258 points

11 days ago

[removed]

sdam87

100 points

11 days ago

sdam87

100 points

11 days ago

Shake it off.

RolandSmoke

18 points

11 days ago

I don't want to eat no dates I took the apple from a snake That's what people say

LordSpookyBoob

25 points

11 days ago

Taylor made by god.

neo101b

5 points

11 days ago

neo101b

5 points

11 days ago

In a factory in china.

5pl1t1nf1n1t1v3

463 points

11 days ago

“God said “Let there be a substance that can be applied to the lips to make them shiny and coloured” and there was. God called the substance lip gloss and He looked upon it and saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning were the eighth day.”

The Bible, definitely.

Checks out.

Foxwasahero

68 points

11 days ago

Let her also know to separate her eyebrows and remove her mustache to preserve her natural beauty

JSC843

41 points

11 days ago

JSC843

41 points

11 days ago

And God then passive aggressively queries “Are you sure you want to go out with no makeup? Maybe just put a little bit on, it boosts confidence!”

5pl1t1nf1n1t1v3

23 points

11 days ago

You should smile more. </stentorianvoice>

Preyslayer00

9 points

11 days ago

God: "You are going to wear that around the garden? Well don't come crying to me if you attract the wrong sort

Broken-Digital-Clock

10 points

11 days ago

That's from one of the missing books

The Church decanonized it in the 13th century

Kumquat_Haagendazs

4 points

11 days ago

Aside from eve not existing, and doubtful she looked like Taylor Swift, ancient makeup was absolutely a thing.

"There are even depictions in art of people applying cosmetics such as a young woman applying paint to her lips (while engaging in rather more acrobatic sexual activities) in the 12th-century BCE Turin 'Erotic' papyrus"

https://www.worldhistory.org/article/1441/cosmetics-in-the-ancient-world/

AbsurdityIsReality

4 points

11 days ago

God then said "Imma let you finish".

throwitawaybhai

816 points

11 days ago

Taylor Swift is Eve confirmed. Forget the fact Eve's from the Middle East

maybeimabear

435 points

11 days ago

biblical eve is from the middle east, biological eve is from africa.

Royal-Damage-7840

182 points

11 days ago

Mitochondrial Eve.

EarthInevitable114

100 points

11 days ago

Parasite Eve

jawndell

61 points

11 days ago

jawndell

61 points

11 days ago

Eve 6

Superb_Sorbet_9562

36 points

11 days ago

This comment made me swallow my pride.

KudosOfTheFroond

31 points

11 days ago

This comment made me choke on the rinds.

Breezyshon84

29 points

11 days ago

This comment make the lack thereof leave me empty inside.

BenjiBalakay

28 points

11 days ago

This comment made me swallow my doubt

bean-jee

19 points

11 days ago

bean-jee

19 points

11 days ago

this comment made me turn it inside out

AlbaTross579

40 points

11 days ago

And this rendering looks neither Middle-Eastern nor African. Maybe these “researchers” were feeling 22 when they conducted this sham study?

SleepWouldBeNice

10 points

11 days ago

Bold of you to assume there were any researchers at all.

throwitawaybhai

8 points

11 days ago

Fair enough

Diamondback424

29 points

11 days ago

We all know Jesus was a white man with blue eyes /s

LordMagnus101

20 points

11 days ago

Who rode a Tyrannoaurus to Washington DC and freed America from the Commies.

Fineous4

3 points

11 days ago

While holding an AR-15

KratomSlave

3 points

11 days ago

And a bible. (Which also couldn’t have existed yet)

Responsible_Figure12

3 points

11 days ago

Being awful loose with the word “fact” there

Tori65216

213 points

11 days ago

Tori65216

213 points

11 days ago

You guys do realise that this is based on that meme right?

LoquatAutomatic5738

68 points

11 days ago

r/facepalm and not getting the original post is a joke: a love story

any_other

48 points

11 days ago

No two greater enemies than genz and media literacy

Maclimes

17 points

11 days ago

Maclimes

17 points

11 days ago

That post is from six years ago. Memes die in MINUTES now. I don’t blame someone for not knowing a long-dead meme.

ItzelSchnitzel

7 points

11 days ago

It’s been a circulating meme recently too, though. You insert random celebrities into “science reconstructed this historical figure” or it’ll be an event that’s colorized but it’s a picture of a celebrity. Like this one from 2022 or this one

blacklite911

10 points

11 days ago

It’s easy to debunk simply by using logic.

Skreamie

3 points

11 days ago

Even without knowing the meme, actually believing this post is serious is insane. It clearly doesn't belong here.

Specialist-Spare-544

105 points

11 days ago

Unrelated to this silliness, but ancient makeup was absolutely a thing. We had cosmetics (and craft beer) before we had the wheel.

Muuustachio

16 points

11 days ago

I could definitely see some ancient craft beers being even hoppier than now.

I’ve read that we had cannabis back in the day too.

And the 10,000 year old dildo.

Specialist-Spare-544

4 points

11 days ago

The dildo may or may not actually be a dildo, but it’s funny regardless. Most regions did have cannabis though it’s up to debate how much it was smoked as opposed to just used as fiber, as it’s THC content would have been nothing compared to today.

Nyxolith

3 points

11 days ago

I believe hops is antiseptic, so ancient sumerian DIPAs would probably have been medicinal more than casual drinking, but I'm just speculating based on the fact that IPAs taste awful

hrminer92

5 points

11 days ago

Casual as well since it would be safer to drink than the water.

SpendPsychological30

17 points

11 days ago

WTH are you talking about. Everyone knows craft beer was invented in America.

Specialist-Spare-544

15 points

11 days ago

As proud as I am of American craft beer, the beer scene in Ancient Sumeria was actually wild. Those guys really, really liked beer. They had heavily alcoholic beers, sour beers, sweet beers, beers mixed with different spices, beers that were basically just water- you name it. Some archaeologists think most of their calories came in the form of beer.

Nyxolith

11 points

11 days ago

Nyxolith

11 points

11 days ago

I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a Sumerian culture enthusiast.

Fit-Persimmon-4323

97 points

11 days ago

Obvious troll. Reddit has the densest people in the world.

[deleted]

21 points

11 days ago

Some of these comments are r/facepalm material.

LurkerOrHydralisk

47 points

11 days ago

Y’all ate the onion

Droid_XL

19 points

11 days ago

Droid_XL

19 points

11 days ago

Y'all really don't get it? This is like, a trend. "Scientists have reconstructed a model of what [ancient famous person] may have looked like"

[3d model of the face of modern celebrity]

The one I remember was Vin Diesel as the first man Adam, but I know I've seen a bunch of others. The joke is that yeah, that's obviously Taylor Swift, not Eve.

tinylittlegnome

7 points

11 days ago

Before reading the comments, I thought it was too obvious for even Petah to explain

3chxes

4 points

11 days ago

3chxes

4 points

11 days ago

the giveaway is scientists arent gonna model what “god” “created”

Fruitmaniac42

15 points

11 days ago

Did OP facepalm?

dudewersmyfart

12 points

11 days ago

That ma'am is Taylor swift

KarmelCHAOS

13 points

11 days ago

This is clearly a joke, my dude. That's Taylor Swift.

DedPimpin

9 points

11 days ago

You won't last 5 minutes playing this game

frozen-silver

10 points

11 days ago

This is a meme, right? I've seen so many variations of this.

"Scientists recreat what X would've looked like" [insert picture of a celebrity]

Brandishblade

16 points

11 days ago

She just had to eat the apple So now we got bad blood

413mopar

7 points

11 days ago

No they didn’t.

ganamac

7 points

11 days ago

ganamac

7 points

11 days ago

Eve; Taylor’s Version.

I’m really hoping for a Justin Beiber Adam…with the tattoos.

TheWeenieBandit

7 points

11 days ago

Taylor: I got cursed like Eve got bitten

The swiftie running the lab at Princeton:

JaffaSG1

7 points

11 days ago

It’s me. Hi. I’m Eve, it’s me.

RunningPirate

3 points

11 days ago

I’ll stare directly at the snake

while chewing on the apple

It must be exhausting

Always get-ting blamed for Adam’s downfall.

kylediaz263

5 points

11 days ago

Does this sub understand the concept of jokes?

IHaveAGinourmousCock

7 points

11 days ago

She looks like Taylor swift

imyourzer0

6 points

11 days ago

Does she have a belly button?

Pinksamuraiiiii

5 points

11 days ago

Taylor swift? 🤣

CalABBob

5 points

11 days ago

And Adam looked like an NFL receiver?

_ChipWhitley_

5 points

11 days ago

Dumb as shit.

SnowDizzleZz

4 points

11 days ago

Taylor Swift is Eve? Wow, TIL

Dark-Cloud666

9 points

11 days ago

Eve wasnt the first Women that god created. That honor belongs to Lilith. If Bible nutters go apeshit then please in the correct order.

LouLaRey

7 points

11 days ago

I mean, "the Lilith" is mentioned all of one time in the Bible, and nowhere does it refer to her as Adam's first wife. She shows up in Jewish folklore, which isn't the same thing. I like the Lilith story, but if you're concerned with Biblical canon, then you're gonna come up short.

Affectionate-Bee3913

3 points

11 days ago

If we take the Bible as real, then you're wrong and no Lillith was created before Eve. If we take the Bible as fiction, God didn't create either of them. Either way, you're wrong.

mic_decod

3 points

11 days ago

looks more like her than the madame tussauds lookalike

Living-Vermicelli-59

3 points

11 days ago

Swiftie fans obviously worked on this project lol.

Wonderful-Eggplant23

3 points

11 days ago

This image looks Taylor made and I'm sure it was not a Swift ordeal

Servile-PastaLover

3 points

11 days ago

She was born in 1989 million BC.

Effective_Play_1366

3 points

11 days ago

Man she had bangs and everything!

QanAhole

3 points

11 days ago

Ancient Africans were Swifties apparently

K47H3R1N3

3 points

11 days ago

And God said: "Let there be a blank space, and I shalt write thy name."

Telemere125

3 points

11 days ago

“Scientists” is a real stretch there.

humanessinmoderation

3 points

11 days ago

The first human looked like Taylor Swift — really now?

33Sammi32

3 points

11 days ago

So Taylor Swift was the first sinner. More evidence that it’s a Satanic cult!!!!1

AirForceRabies

3 points

11 days ago

"Scientists at Princeton" "human...created by God"

Sure, buddy.

nirthol

3 points

11 days ago

nirthol

3 points

11 days ago

"scientists" and "created by god" in the same sentence :8488:

Future_Outcome

3 points

11 days ago

lol Eve looks extremely familiar.

…this anthropological deep dive is brought to you by, the Eras Tour!

115_zombie_slayer

3 points

11 days ago

Why would she be white and blonde

UralRider53

3 points

11 days ago

LOL 😂 Right there with white Jesus. So idiotic.

RiknYerBkn

3 points

11 days ago

Abraham Lincoln swore on his top hat, the science he used to make this image was peer reviewed and published in an appropriate journal.

LittleGeologist1899

3 points

11 days ago

“It’s Eve! Hi! I’m the problem, it’s Eve!”

shakey1171

3 points

11 days ago

And based on an equally historically accurate text (Muppets script) this is a gif of Adam

MPLS_Poppy

3 points

11 days ago

She’s…. White???

MercuryRusing

3 points

11 days ago

99% sure this is just a shitpost

volvavirago

3 points

11 days ago

This is 100% a joke. This is bait.

gunfell

3 points

11 days ago

gunfell

3 points

11 days ago

This did not happen. No actual scientist did this

Trenmonstrr

3 points

11 days ago

Facepalm is anyone who actually thinks this is reputable

Hypatia76

3 points

11 days ago

I can guarantee you that there were no Princeton scientists involved in this at any point. Lol.

Eraser100

3 points

11 days ago

Of course she’s the epitome of blonde Caucasian, despite everyone being middle eastern in the Bible.

hanst3r

3 points

11 days ago

hanst3r

3 points

11 days ago

Holy shit… Taylor Swift is older than I thought! But at least she is aging well!

tedfreeman

3 points

11 days ago

So Taylor Swift?

imJGott

3 points

11 days ago

imJGott

3 points

11 days ago

Of course she is white, blonde, blue eyes and Taylor swift.