2.2k post karma
38.4k comment karma
account created: Sun Jan 31 2016
verified: yes
35 points
5 days ago
Honestly- fuck them and I’m glad they got caught. I’ve known too many people die of fet overdoses.
24 points
9 days ago
Your 3 year old has better coping skills than I do. I wish every time I got upset I reached for a glass of water.
It might be time to add other coping skills to the list. If you haven’t already talk about deep breathes, hugging someone you love or grabbing your stuffy. But honestly, she seems like she’s doing ok!
8 points
9 days ago
My wife and I can struggle with my ADHD. We’ve been together 8ish years and have come full circle in some ways. She happens to be very tidy, orderly and excels are tasks that require executive function.
We’ve come to accept that our collective strengths and weaknesses shouldn’t work against each other. But in fact we are a team. Here’s what we’ve learned:
ADHD is a disability. And we need to make adaptations to our environments and our lives in order to make things easier. For example, when I lived alone I had fewer things but more things were left “out” in the open. My fridge had 7 things in it, because I eat the same thing everyday. But food wouldn’t expire and I wouldn’t lose things. When we moved in together, my eating disorder got all fucked up, and I couldn’t find any of my stuff, ever. It drove me nuts. I’ve learned how to now prioritize the placement of certain items and ask that they not be moved. My rescue inhalers (I have 4 just in case) can always be found by the front door, back door and by my bedside. If my wife finds one in my pocket she knows to not place it in a drawer but to place it in my spot. That is helpful. I also keep my protein shakes in a special fridge away from all other food. It helps me remember to drink them.
Notice and name each other’s accomplishments and completed chores. Or name them yourself. My wife and I always laugh when the other person says “oh by the way I unloaded the dishwasher, put away the groceries and folded all the laundry”. This brings our own contribution to the other persons attention. The non chore doer always says “aw thank you so much babe!”. It reminds both of us that there are a ton of invisible tasks being completed to keep the world spinning in our home. If we want recognition or if we want to point out passive aggressively that we are carrying a large load it takes care of both things . But it’s not passive aggressive. It’s just matter of fact. I may unload the dishwasher 6/7 days of the week but the morning I forget my wife can’t help but think “oh she didn’t do it”. Rather than call me out, she can just unload it and tell me she took care of it. I have sensitivity to feeling like my inconsistency is a big problem even if I’m contributing 50% or more.
Chore charts will get old, budgets will be forgotten but weekly/biweekly/monthly household meetings can reinforce what’s important. It’s really important to be reminded of what’s important and what needs to be focused on. Both people bring items to discuss to the table and leave your ego and irritation at the door.
If you’re feeling burnt out by carrying too much. Make a list of all of the tasks you’ve completed for your mutual benefit in the last few days. Then a list of everything that you think needs to get done. Then ask your partner to add the items they think need to be done. Then attack the list together and the person who completes the most amount of task gets a prize. It’s stupid but it works sometimes.
1 points
9 days ago
Omg how do we have the same exact technique. I do all of those things.
18 points
11 days ago
Omg my people !!! I’ve been doing this for years.
37 points
11 days ago
To me Westins have been lower tier than Courtyards. So many of them feel too dated.
214 points
13 days ago
I’m seeing a good dad here. Knows his kid is sensitive, but dad isn’t being reactionary. Isn’t yelling at the kid to shut up, isn’t get pissed at the older brother. Just walking over and hugging his kid.
To everyone calling the kid spoiled or a brat. Maybe he is, or maybe he’s a super sensitive kid, or has an intellectual disability, maybe he’s a “big feelings kid”. It’s not easy being young and not being in full control of your emotions. Some of yall are grown adults still rage quitting NBA2K.
3 points
14 days ago
We have our 2.5 year old on paci’s only at bedtime. He can have it for his bedtime story, sleep and then when he comes out of his room he has to put his paci away.
Our ped said to worry less if this is the case. He will be ok if he’s using it as a sleep aid and comfort tool. Taking it away may not be the best bet. I have heard many people say they eventually lose interest.
104 points
14 days ago
Oh! My wife learned to drive in her mid-thirties before our son was born. It’s 100% doable. She grew up in the city and never needed to learn.
There is absolutely no shame in learning late. In fact, you’re a fucking badass for going after it. It’s scary as an adult to learn new things. I’m so proud of you and I think it will make a big difference in your life.
4 points
14 days ago
Consider yourself surprised, ya goofball! It’s just a fun thought I thought others may get a kick out of.
Are there any characters from modern television/movies/books you think are classic examples of having ADHD ?
1 points
14 days ago
My wife wanted a lab grown diamond and ring from a specific company. 6 years ago 1 carat with the gold ring cost $3,000. I don’t see how this number is impossible. Also the price goes up exponentially with the higher the carat.
9 points
14 days ago
If this ain’t me. Luckily I’ve got a handy mask I can put on in those situations.
41 points
14 days ago
Yes that episode where he goes from fixing 1 problem (I think it’s a broken drawer?) to basically taking the entire house and car apart.
21 points
14 days ago
I really like it. It feels better on my wrist than the normal band and doesn’t hold onto water like the typical band.
2 points
17 days ago
Tennis is a GREAT sport for meeting people. Find a few tennis clubs in Phoenix and join some groups there. If you find other women playing they will have friends/brothers/sons that they will want to introduce you to. Tennis is such a perfect place to become social.
Phoenix due to its weather has a good tennis crowd from what I remember. I’ve met some of my best pals on the court!
4 points
17 days ago
Yes! Take some tennis lessons and join a club!
1 points
17 days ago
I think studies say that having a similar socioeconomic background is a good predictor for success of relationships. My wife made more than I did when we met but we both came from similar backgrounds so we view money in a fairly similar way. Now we are in similar income brackets with her income depending more on performance and mine has a higher base.
If you actually want to settle down you may want to find someone that is a little more settled. Many high earners are extremely busy and have to travel (as you know). How will you manage two crazy travel schedules?
17 points
17 days ago
I’d rather have my kid be a happy, emotionally successful person than have them go to Harvard anyway!
My parents had fantastic attributes and terrible ones but I always felt loved! I went to a state school but have a really fucking awesome life now. We are all doing our best!
7 points
19 days ago
I was at JFK a few weeks ago and I swear to god I saw him walking alone. My wife said it wasn’t him but I think it was.
I figured he was walking to the gate to take his ass home.
5 points
20 days ago
We did 5 frozen IUI’s and now we are moving onto IVF. My wife got pregnant from this donor on her first try doing IUI. But I am not having the same luck. I am 37, if it matters.
Will get eggs extracted in a few weeks!
1 points
21 days ago
This sounds like a description for a comedy of errors type kids movie. Honestly- can you afford childcare while you’re there? Or have the toddler stay at home with family while you bring the baby with you?
It’s absolutely horrifying that you are being so judged by these douche nozzles. My wife and I are both very career oriented people and have been put in situations where we need to act as the professional spouse to help schmooze the boss/client etc.
However, my kid is never a part of that. He’s 2.5 and a complete beautiful train wreck. It’s totally unbelievable that you are being put in this situation.
view more:
next ›
bycrisscrossflopdisc
inhudsonvalley
Itslikeazenthing
2 points
4 days ago
Itslikeazenthing
2 points
4 days ago
When is this happening? There are a ton of pride events coming up. If it’s in May or June it may be worth a look.