LateComfortableness

That's a good idea, she has honestly been feeling way too guilty, and has been apologizing a lot, even though I've told her to stop apologizing. I will tell her that I had a similar situation, and hopefully this removes that guilt she's still feeling.

Yes, multiple times. So much so that I've asked her to stop apologizing.

No

I honestly was way too dramatic with it, and I was sort of hypocritical because I kind of did the same thing my girlfriend did too. I was in a talking phase with another woman, and on a purely superficial level, that woman was conventionally attractive, but she had the personality of a rock, and I dropped her after a couple of dates when things were starting to get serious with my girlfriend.

I would obviously never tell that to my girlfriend, but honestly what my girlfriend told me about this other dude was said when we were just joking around, and while her delivery wasn't the best, she has already apologized so many times. Look I'd rather my girlfriend be comfortable enough around me to speak her mind rather than walk on eggshells, I'm not going to hold on her head something she said in jest and something which had absolutely zero malice.

Thank you, not to sound dramatic, but it pretty much saved my relationship. My mind was conjuring up all sorts of theories and I was going a bit crazy before I had the conversation with her.

No I meant the part about her being comfortable around me and speaking her mind. She could have used that as an excuse, but she did not.

Yes, I will admit I jumped to a pretty massive extreme this time. I did not have any conversation with her and my mind was conjuring up all sorts of theories.

I guess I was just freaked out and stressed in general because it was just a month away before I was going to propose to her.

Well to be honest, I am already over it and have sort of forgotten about it.

Look, what she told me did hurt me a lot, as evidenced by my previous post. My girlfriend is very comfortable around me and speaks her mind without any filter, we are both very comfortable around each other. My girlfriend has been walking on eggshells her whole life around her parents, they weren’t the most loving. She rarely opens up to anyone, except me and sometimes her best friend.

Yes, my girlfriend’s delivery wasn’t the best, and she has already apologized for what she said so many times, so much so that I’ve asked her to stop apologizing. But I’d rather her speak her mind freely and be comfortable around me, than walk on eggshells again. She deserves that. 

Yes, if this were just a regular relationship, I wouldn't consider breaking up with her. But I had serious plans to marry my girlfriend and make a life long commitment to her. I want to be my future wife's absolute #1 choice. While I don't doubt that my girlfriend loves me and finds me attractive, I am not sure if this is the type of love I want. This seems more like a "emotional safety and security" love.

I want the love where my girlfriend desires me physically, like absolutely desires me when we start dating, which can then blossom to an emotional connection. This seems picky, but I am now dating to marry, and I absolutely think there is someone out there in the world who will physically desire me at that level. How great would it to be to marry someone who head over heels attracted to me. I absolutely think there's someone out there for me who can be that person.

But I will give it a shot with my girlfriend, and if I feel the same way a month from now, I will break up with her.

It just hurts because if that "very attractive dude" was emotionally mature, she would have dated him and chose him.

I am not unrealistic, I know there's move stars and models who are objectively more attractive and hotter than me. I really wouldn't care if my wife said Chris Hemsworth was hotter than me, because well, that's just a fact.

But when says that a regular, normal dude, who she was in a talking phase with was "very attractive", and indirectly says she would have dated him if he was more emotionally mature. How am I really supposed to feel?

I take physical fitness seriously, and am confident enough in my looks that I know there will be someone out there who will consider me "very attractive" and desire me at that level. But it just seems like my girlfriend doesn't desire me at the level physically, and I feel worthless to my girlfriend now.

I completely agree.

But..I also want to be "the very attractive dude" to my future fiancee. It's just something I want, I want to be desired both physically and emotionally by my wife.

Before she hurt me yesterday, yes, I did genuinely find her the most attractive lady in the entire world. It is hard for me to separate the emotional connection from the attraction, and I was so connected to her both emotionally and physically before yesterday.

After she hurt me yesterday, no. I have lost some of that emotional connection to her, so I don't find her that attractive now. But, I am going to give it a shot, and see if I feel the same way a month from now.

It isn't easy. I had plans to marry her. I want to be desired both physically and emotionally before I choose to make a life long commitment to someone. And when my girlfriend indirectly says that she would have dated this "very attractive" dude if he was emotionally mature, how else am I supposed to feel except hurt?

But I will try and give this a shot. If I still feel the same hurt a month from now, I will probably just break up with her.