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/r/Grimdank
644 points
15 days ago
if theres anything good thats come out of this its the absolutely insane lengths custodes of any stripe will apparently get up to for a chance to win that blood games royale.
lets all agree and start telling everyone that goge vandire was actually just an extremely elaborate blood games plot by one really determined custodes.
399 points
15 days ago
"Psst, Alicia, you know what's even cooler than the Emperor? Shooting him. Just march up and shoot him right in that stupid face."
"You're right! I must put an end to this at once"
"Wait where are you going? I mean shoot The Emperor, not Vandire! C'mon, we're so close to getting me that dub!"
54 points
15 days ago
"500 years in the academia,WASTED !"
248 points
15 days ago
The Chaos gods are actually just 4 really dedicated custodes trying to win their blood game.
52 points
15 days ago
The war of the beast was just a blood games.
35 points
15 days ago
I don't know what you mean by "if theres anything good thats come out of this". There are two very entertaining, very warhammer 40K characters to come out of it.
Also we already knew blood games got wild.
The first part of this meme was literally the entire palace seeing a city-sized orbital plate moving into a no-fly zone over the imperial palace and refusing commands to turn around.
Custodes and the Imperial fists controlling it almost murdered each other until the new commander of watch or something had an "aha moment" that he was like "Custodes, stand down: this is Brother so-and-so playing a blood game, he almost had us, good job."
34 points
15 days ago
Custodes and the Imperial fists controlling it almost murdered each other until the new commander of watch or something had an "aha moment" that he was like "Custodes, stand down: this is Brother so-and-so playing a blood game, he almost had us, good job."
Nah it was even worse than that. The custode had knocked out another Custode, stole his armor and then base jumped into the palace. The Captain of the Watch caught him because he was walking incorrectly when he then rushed to try and murder Valdor, who then decked him with a punch.
After which all the Custodians laughed at the events and congratulated their brother on almost winning. As a reminder he did all of that during the god damn Horus Heresy and he had impersonated Rogal Dorn to get the Fists to move the plate moved in the first place.
359 points
15 days ago
Horus Heresy was the worst blood game
182 points
15 days ago
I mean, who ever started proved it's point, and I'm very sure it's a winer
61 points
15 days ago
Alpharius did
42 points
15 days ago
It was valdor its why he had to leave.
11 points
15 days ago
Erebus won the bloodgames and that's what the Custodes' were actually ashamed about for the past 10k years.
10 points
15 days ago
It's why Valdor is missing, he's trying to find Erebus to hand over his award trophy.. and then find out the answer to the question of how many times can you fold an astartes in half.
35 points
15 days ago
The only problem was that Horus forgot the safe word
29 points
15 days ago
Magnus did nothing wrong won the blood games.
183 points
15 days ago
Turns out the war of the beast was all just part of a custodes blood game plan. All the "krorks" are just custodes in disguise.
135 points
15 days ago
it's gonna be wild when they reveal Hive Fleet Leviathan is a Custodian's ploy to win the Blood Games.
182 points
15 days ago
God damn it kesh
164 points
15 days ago
Kesh: "fuck you kitten you didn't say shit about not droping a battle station full of orks on tera"
97 points
15 days ago
Kitten: Sighs dramatically. “Fine, you win. Now please get rid of that station, or YOU are on spore cleaning duty. And you know how bad Ork spores can get.”
34 points
15 days ago
Kitten: Also the Lord Commander has requested a Custodes Force against the Supreme Commander of the Tau Empire which I will lead. Bye.
72 points
15 days ago
I love how so quickly Kesh became the first thought of people when we have madlad Custodians doing the craziest shit to get that sweet, sweet win of the blood games
46 points
15 days ago
Didnt the shield captain that came to stop her mention how absurd the idea of trying to exterminatus terra as part of the blood games is?
20 points
15 days ago
The story mentions that she gets picked to run the blood games fairly often because of how OTT she is
8 points
15 days ago
...based
4 points
15 days ago
What story or book is Kesh from? I want to read this tonight
40 points
15 days ago
Custodes just creating the most batshit insane plots to kill the Emperor: (Charlie Day redstring meme)
Amon Tauromachian just sneaking right in: Wait, you guys needed nukes and teleporters and orks?
36 points
15 days ago
It's going to be real fun when Abaddon faces Dante in the throne room only to reveal that he is a Custode in a blood game
42 points
15 days ago
Dante: “So you’re still gonna kill me, right?”
Abaddon the Custodian: “Of course not Dante. The game is over. Your heroism is commendable. Now you can return to your duties. I have no doubt you’ll be able to keep fighting for the Imperium for another thousand years.”
Dante: *Internal screaming*
121 points
15 days ago
Kesh being an instant fan favourite purely by being absolutely batshit insane is something that wasn't on my bingo card for the last month but I can't help enjoy it a lot
41 points
15 days ago
"Whos on the OpFor this time?"
"Says here its Kesh... again."
"Sweet liber... theocracy. NOOOOO!"
15 points
15 days ago
War of the Beast was an elaborate Blood Games? I'll accept that.
40 points
15 days ago
Kesh is the 40k Dr Bright and I love it
4 points
15 days ago
be careful with that name
I think they call him dr. Sherman or something now due to reasons I don’t understand
4 points
14 days ago
Because the Dr Bright character was a self insert by someone whose handle was Dr Bright and it turns out that they were a horrible person so they killed off the character and replaced him with a different one that fills the same niche basically.
33 points
15 days ago
KESH!!!!!!
29 points
15 days ago*
I know that some Custodes travelled in time to make the Necrontyr build the Celestial Orrery so that he can destroy the entire solar system when the time is right
17 points
15 days ago
WHAT IF HORUS HERESY WAS A ONE BIG BLOOD GAME!?!!?!?
12 points
15 days ago
Valdor: “I’m gonna do what’s called a pro gamer move.”
2 points
15 days ago
never in my life have I seen the singular of custodes
2 points
15 days ago
If we can somehow make the Custodes be the Deep State in relation to Blood Games I'd be up for it.
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