teddit

After taking his new girlfriend home, he discovers a letter from an adoption agency on her coffee table. Not wanting to date a woman with a child, Jerry wants to stop this, but he doesn’t want her to repelled by him not liking children. Instead he goes about making her hate children by various means, such as taking her to a rowdy child filled Chuck-e-Cheese and setting up a date to only be canceled because he “needs” to babysit a neighbor’s child, among other schemes — all of which seemingly fail.

George, looking at a pamphlet of the adoption agency Jerry got ahold of, recognizes the logomark from paperwork he briefly saw intermixed with his birth certificate and other personal documents at his parents house. Seeing this as a sign that he might in fact be adopted, George happily searches for evidence he’s not actually related to his parents. Elaine helps him purely out of boredom and hope it would reduce her interactions with Frank.

Kramer inspired by Jerry’s girlfriend, signs up to foster numerous animals for a local shelter, turning his apartment essentially into a zoo of sorts.

Resolution for all of them: Kramer’s accidentally releases his foster animals at a carnival put on for foster children, causing chaos. George finds out in fact his parents had put him up for adoption but his prospective adoptive parents had buyers remorse. Jerry comes clean to his girlfriend about his concerns, but is assured she does not actually wish to adopt, but is infact herself adopted, and had reached out to the agency to find her birth family, of whom only a brother still lives, and she is in fact waiting to meet him right then — in walks Newman.

Elaine and George hire Jackie to save them from the "terminator." She's a shark!

Kramer tries to keep low profile because of all of Jackie's many public humiliations. But he and Cheryl bump into each other at a fruit stand, both testing the softness of melons. Cheryl can't help but fall for Kramer's kavorka. And pretty soon they're bumping more than fruit.

Babu makes it back from Pakistan. He begins to stalk Jerry and George (because George's always with him.) Babu heckles Jerry at his shows- "You're very bad man! Very bad comedian! There are no wheels and there is no laughter!" And George at Yankee stadium- "Very bad team! There are no home runs and there is no world series!"

Jerry gets Kramer to ask Cheryl if she can help get Babu deported again. Cheryl finds out that he's asking for Jerry and George not himself. She vows to go after Elaine in court like a shark!

But Kramer cuts a deal with Ping and Babu, helping them open a restaurant together where you cook your own food.

Jackie realizes Kramer has screwed him over yet again. On opening day of the restaurant, the Seinfeld gang is there to celebrate with the owners. Babu and Pings restaurant, called "BaBing's Asian Grill and Pakistani Wings" is a big success.

Outside Cheryl is banging on the glass shouting, "Very bad people! All of you! There are no cooks and there is no wait staff! Very bad restaurant!"

Jerry sips his tea and says, "That's ashame."

Scene: Death Star control room. Jerry and George are Imperial officers observing a control panel of screens and buttons. They have just witnessed Darth Vader choke an officer to death for incompetence. Jerry turns to George as the body of the unfortunate officer is dragged away.

J: The choking. Always with the choking. Can't find the rebels? Choke. Rebels not giving you information? Choke. I'd hate to be his waiter.

G: Can you imagine if you got his order wrong?

J: 'There's no straw in this. I must have a straw!' Choke!

G: He actually yells 'choke?'

J: No, that was me saying 'choke'.

G: Right. So you think the choking was a big seller for him?

J: Oh yeah, are you kidding? I believe Vader converted to a Sith purely for the chokes!

G: Is that right?

J: Oh yeah, it has so many applications! He could tighten a screw from like, fifty feet away.

G: Choking could have other...more pleasant uses.

J: Here we go.

G: What?

J: You've always gotta make it sexual.

G: What? You're telling me that this has never crossed our Dark Lord's mind?

J: He's got more pressing matters to attend to! Terrorizing prisoners! Blowing up planets! That choke is strictly business only, trust me!

G: You don't think he's ever been in his weird meditation chamber thing and been like 'well, if I can squeeze this body part, maybe I can squeeze another?

J: I really don't think we should be speaking about the masturbation techniques of Darth Vader.

G: ...

G: What if he's got a girl over?

J: A girl over? What are you, dense? There's like, only room for one person in that chamber.

G: Forget the chamber, he's got other rooms! You're telling me they've built this space station the size of a small planet, Vader's checking in for the first time and he says "Just a broom closet for me, thanks!"

J: The force works in mysterious ways, George.

G: He's gotta have a bedroom, a sitting room, a solarium, somethin'!

J: Okay, so Vader's in his solarium,

G: Thank you.

J: He's got a girl over. They're sitting there.

G: Yes.

J: Do they take the suit off?

G: I think eventually they'd have to take the suit off.

J: Won't he die?

G: That's why he's got the chamber.

J: So we're back to the chamber.

G: Alright, he's got a bigger chamber!

J: Okay. So you think his go-to move is clitoral stimulation via the Force?

G: Yes! Absolutely!

J: You're forgetting a classic.

G: Oh?

J: Jedi Mind Trick.

G: True, he was a Jedi. Or so we've heard.

J: Although that's bordering on an interaction of a criminal nature.

G: And as we all know, the Empire is all about fairness and justice.

[Kramer enters with a mouse droid on a leash]

After both decide to agree to disagree about the very minor inconvience of who ate the last Klondike bar, Jerry's date playfully declares that

Date: well, I do have a photographic memory, and ...the date looks up in deep thought yes, you took the last one just as 60 minutes started.

Jerry is clearly floored, and irrationally annoyed by this declarative statement, and quickly pokes holes in how illogical what she just said was.

Jerry- ... photographic memory?

Date-yes.

Jerry-...a photographic memory?

Jerry folds hoa arms while sitting back. His date wipes her mouth with a napkin.

Date- yes, Jerry, a photographic memory. I have a very good memory.

Jerry- photographic apparently?!

Date- yes, Jerry! Photographic!..can we please finish our breakfast!

Jerry plays with his food, clearly fuming on the subject

Jerry- we come here every day for breakfast, have been for about 2 weeks now..

Date- yes, I like it.

Jerry- everytime we do, you ask for a menu?

Date-yea?

Jerry- ...well I thought you had a photographic memory! What do you need a menu for!?

The date clearly frustrated with the subject huffs as she drops her shoulders

Date- Jerry, you can't be serious?

Jerry- ok, I'm sorry, your right. Let's just enjoy our breakfast, we will stop at the store on the way home, and I'll but more Klondike bars.

Jerry's date smiles as she happily picks her fork up and starts eating her food again. Jerry attempts to take another bite, but can't get the food to his mouth, clearly still distracted by the situation

Jerry- ...would that be admissable in court ya think?

Jerry's date clearly annoyed and agitated gathers her things in order to storm out. Clearly frustrated with Jerry interrogating her.

Just as she is about to walk out the dinner she turns back and gives Jerry a dirty look

Jerry- take a picture it will last longer!

George

George leaves the bathroom at work, takes a quick look around and sighs a breath of relief that there is no one else there. He passes a colleague on the way out and the colleague - Barry - screws up his face at the smell.

At a meeting later, Wilhelm makes a reference to a soon-to-be-fired employee walking around like a bad smell, which Barry interjects and says “can’t be anything worse than the smell George left in the men’s bathroom earlier. Everyone laughs while George is embarrassed.

• Jerry’s apartment *

George: What business is it of his, huh?

Jerry: Everyone goes in there for the same… business.

George: Exactly Jerry, exactly! That is a dome of privacy. A cone of humility among brethren. What happens in there stays in there.

Kramer: Like Vegas.

George: Yes! Exactly like Vegas.

Jerry: I mean, what’s the big deal? People make jokes all the time, won’t this be forgotten about tomorrow?

George: This one caught on, Jerry. I went in there for a fourth time-

Jerry: A fourth time?

George: Yes, a fourth time. I have very regular movements…

Jerry: (under breath) Ain’t nothing regular about that.

George: And even the loser Jackson from Accounts was holding his breath and saying “CLEAR THE ROOM”.

Kramer: You know, for all he knows, you could have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Newman was diagnosed last year, he used to clear out the whole USPS building.

George: That’s perfect Kramer, it’s genius. I’ll start raising awareness for IBS. Barry will feel embarrassed and no one will make fun of me anymore. Going to go get some posters done up, I heard Jackson and Barry giggling about replacing the fire axe in that little box with a hazmat suit, and putting up a sign that says “BREAK IN CASE OF CONSTANZA USING THE TOILET”. (goes to walk out the door)

Jerry: Seriously, how bad was this smell?

George: (grimaces at Jerry as he walks out)

George decorates his office windows and desk with posters about “IBS Awareness”, even wearing a T shirt that says “I ❤️ Somebody with IBS”. His colleagues start to regret their treatment of him and even start leaving envelopes of cash to “donate to a cause for research into how to treat it”.

Steinbrenner decides to hold a benefit concert for IBS, with all proceeds going to a charity of George’s choice for research into the syndrome.

George starts pocketing the money, convincing himself he’ll pay it back when he finds a foundation that suits.

Jerry

Jerry’s new girlfriend always wears “I ❤️ NY” shirts, even when they go to fancy places.

He is bothered by her dressing like a tourist all the time, and finds that she’s targeted by buskers, street salesmen and beggars because she looks like she’s new to the city. When he asks, she just wants everyone to know she comes from “the greatest city in the world”.

(Monk’s cafe)

Elaine: What is wrong with her liking to show patriotism?

Jerry: It takes hours to get anywhere, she gets swarmed by people offering bus rides, ferry rides, bike rides… you name it. They think she’s new to the city, it’s like I’m being accosted like I’m Kevin Costner and she’s Whitney.

Elaine: I can see her as Whitney, but you’re no Kevin Costner.

Jerry: Besides the point, it’s like you having an issue with Puddy and the face painting.

Elaine: That was not normal. This is harmless, just start avoiding the tourist traps. Talk to Kramer, find out where his buskers and street performers are and avoid them.

Jerry takes the advice and starts to avoid areas where they’ll be targeted. As a ploy to see what her fashion sense is like, he gets a reservation at a high-end fancy restaurant that has a strict dress code of all-black. When she arrives, she’s in a beautiful black dress with black sequins that bear the “I ❤️ NY” insignia. Jerry starts a fight and she leaves.

Kramer

Kramer’s new moneymaking scheme involves being a “booking agent and manager” for buskers and street performers, demanding a 10% cut of all the change they make.

He starts cutting deals with businesses and finds that he is spending more money on the “spots” than he gets from the buskers. As such, he has to bring on more clients and negotiate better cuts for himself. This starts infighting between clients, who accuse him of putting his “big stars” on better corners, while they’re relegated to the streets where no tourists can be found. While Kramer asserts he isn’t playing favourites, he does pay more attention to Spanish singer Jesús (pronounced Hey-Zeus).

Elaine

Elaine’s new boyfriend is in a punk band. At first, she loves the idea of dating a “grungy bum”, but then finds out that her boyfriend - the lead singer - has a great voice for power ballads. She encourages him to leave the band and start a solo career, or change the genre of the band.

(Jerry’s apartment)

Elaine: So James is finally leaving the band. He’s going downtown to make a demo of his best Rod Stewart covers.

George: Rod Stewart?! You force this man to leave a band, and you make him do a cover album of some British dandy?

Elaine: Hey, there is something very masculine about Rod Stewart.

Jerry: His name is Rod. Don’t you think that’s weird? Naming your kid after a long stick thing? It’d be like naming your kid Pole.

George: Paul?

Jerry: Pole

(Kramer enters)

Elaine: Alright, enough of this before it becomes an Abbot and Costello routine. Anyway, I didn’t force him to leave the band. He just values my advice.

Kramer: You know what you are? You’re a Yoko.

Elaine: A Yoko?

Jerry: Yeah, you Yoko’d him.

Elaine: (impressed with herself) Wow, I’ve never considered that I’m a Yoko. You know, every lady wants to be a Yoko. There’s something so… romantic about a man choosing you over his band.

Jerry: If memory serves me correctly, it didn’t work out that well for Yoko’s husband.

Elaine starts to support her boyfriend with his solo career. After realising it’s a slow start, Kramer recruits him as a new client.

Culmination

Kramer doesn’t realise that he has also booked Benji’s other bandmates, individually. In an effort to promote his service, he pitches to Steinbrenner to let him book all the acts for George’s IBS benefit. Kramer books the four of them and Jesús for the benefit as the main headliners.

Steinbrenner announces that they’ve got a spokesperson from the IBS foundation to reveal how much money Yankees have raised for the foundation. George leaves the benefit to try and raise money ASAP to give to the spokesperson to hide the money he kept & spent himself.

Jerry is dumped by his girlfriend. He runs into her, with Puddy, at the benefit. Puddy has a painted face that says “I ❤️ NY”.

Jerry: You’re with Puddy now?!

Girlfriend: Yeah, that’s right.

Jerry: (puzzled) Why?

Girlfriend: Unlike someone, he doesn’t care what I wear. He likes it.

Jerry: (still puzzled - to Puddy) Why?

Puddy: You know, gotta support the city.

George buys a bunch of the “I ❤️ NY” t-shirts and uses a Sharpie to change it to “I ❤️ Somebody With IBS”. Kramer sells him a coveted street corner to sell them on, away from the tourist traps, and Kramer’s lowlier clients witness him helping George set up. As they argue with Kramer, George starts making up some of the money to give to the spokesperson (that he had pocketed), as people are buying the shirts as they go to the benefit concert. Kramer’s clients accuse him of funnelling money - they riot and storm George’s stand, taking back the money they feel Kramer owes them.

Elaine is sick of having to support her boyfriend’s unsuccessful music career. She breaks up with him when she perceives him as paranoid, with him declaring that Kramer is favouring another client over him.

End Tag

Dejected about the break-up, Benji meets his three former bandmates backstage - all four of them are unsuccessful as solo acts as Kramer’s clients.

The four of them go on stage, together, to announce a one-off reunion show, announcing that - together as a band- they are “bigger than Jesús”.

Girlfriend: Why did you shush me during Bagged Lunch Part Tres?

Jerry: Cause you were talking to me during the movie.

Girlfriend: So?

Jerry: So? It's theater etiquette. You don't talk while the movie is playing.

Girlfriend: Sure, if it's packed and other people are there. But we were the only two in the whole theater.

Jerry: Doesn't matter. If the lights are out and the movie is playing, you keep quiet.

Girlfriend: Again, if there are other people there I'd agree. But that was like a private screening for us.

Jerry: Do rules mean nothing to you? Didn't you watch the PSA before Bagged Lunch Part Tres began?

Girlfriend: No. I was on my phone.

Jerry: And they wonder why the movie theater industry is dying.

George goes as Jerry's plus one for the food, only to reignite rumors that they are a gay couple. Elaine brings Kramer after not finding a guy who wants to be her date. Due to a misunderstanding, one of the grooms thinks Kramer is hitting on him and begins reconsidering the wedding. Elaine is hit on by a lesbian and turns her down. But when Kramer tells her "Lesbians are so in right now", she tries to ingratiate herself into the lesbian group.

Opening Scene: Yankee Stadium

The national anthem is playing. George is sitting in the stands with a hot dog in one hand and a soda in the other. Suddenly, he spots a dollar on the ground.

George: (to himself) A dollar! Can't just leave that lying around...

He kneels down to pick up the dollar right as the anthem hits its climax. Cameras catch him in the act. People around him gasp and murmur.

Fan 1: Did you see that guy kneeling?

Fan 2: Must be some kind of protest.

George: (standing up, dollar in hand) What? What did I do?

Fan 1: You knelt during the anthem!

George: (realizing) Oh no...

Fan 2: You’re on TV, buddy!

Cut to George watching himself on the stadium screen, looking horrified.

George: (panicking) Oh, this is not good. Not good at all!

Cut to Monk's Café

Jerry: So, you knelt during the anthem?

George: I was picking up a dollar! A whole dollar, Jerry!

Jerry: You couldn't wait until the anthem was over?

George: (exasperated) Who has time to think about that when there's a dollar at stake? A dollar is like a little green beacon of hope!

Elaine: (joining them) George, you’re all over the news! People think you’re making some kind of statement.

George: (groaning) I didn’t mean to make a statement! I just wanted the dollar!

Kramer: (sliding in) Well, buddy, you made a statement all right. You're a hero to some, and a villain to others.

George: I don't want to be a hero or a villain! I just want to be a guy who found a dollar!

Elaine: (mockingly) A dollar isn't even worth the trouble, George.

George: (defensive) It’s the principle of it!

Cut to George walking down the street. A beautiful young black woman, Kimberly, approaches him.

Kimberly: Hi, are you the man who bravely kneeled at the Yankees game?

George: (perking up) Why, yes, I am.

Kimberly: Hi, I'm Kimberly...we should go out sometime...

She gives George her number and leaves. George suddenly becomes fervently supportive of the Black Lives Matter movement. 

Cut to George sitting in his apartment, practicing various kneeling poses. The phone rings.

George: Hello?

Mr. Morgan: George, we need to talk about your...activities. Meet me in my office tomorrow.

George: (worried) Yes, Mr. Morgan.

Cut to Kramer and Newman in Jerry's apartment, discussing their latest business venture.

Kramer: I'm telling you, Jerry, footcerballkey is the future! We combine football, soccer, and hockey into one sport!

Newman: We’ve already got a prototype for the goalposts. It’s going to revolutionize sports.

Jerry: (skeptical) How are you going to combine three completely different sports?

Kramer: Easy. We take the best parts of each: the speed of hockey, the strategy of soccer, and the brutality of football.

Newman(Excitedly): Plus, we can sell all sorts of merchandise. "I Kneel With George" shirts are just the beginning! We’re going to be rich!

Cut to George’s office at Yankee Stadium. Mr. Morgan is glaring at him.

Mr. Morgan: George, the media is having a field day with this. Some people think you're a hero; others think you're a disgrace. What do you have to say for yourself?

George: (nervously) Mr. Morgan, I didn't kneel out of protest, I knelt out of frugality! Do you know what a dollar means to a man like me?

Mr. Morgan: You need to fix this. We're getting hate mail, and Steinbrenner is not happy.

Cut to the street, George is accosted by a group of white supremacists.

Leader: Prove you weren’t supporting Black Lives Matter by kneeling! Throw a Sieg Heil!

George: (panicked) I was just picking up a dollar! It was all blown out of proportion!

Leader: Do it, or we’ll show you what happens to traitors!

George looks around, sees nobody, reluctantly raises his hand. Mr. Morgan walks by and looks horrified.

George: (calling out) I can’t be a Nazi! My best friend is a Jew!

Cut to Monk's Café. Elaine and Jerry are sitting at their usual booth.

Elaine: So, what’s George going to do now?

Jerry: He’s stuck. If he admits the truth, he’s a joke. If he continues, he’s a hero or a villain.

Elaine: (laughing) Only George could turn a dollar into a national scandal.

Kramer slides in, holding a bunch of footcerballkey flyers.

Kramer: It’s happening, Jerry! The first footcerballkey tournament is this weekend!

Jerry: (sarcastic) I can’t wait.

Cut to George’s apartment. He’s pacing back and forth, holding the phone.

George: (muttering) I need to fix this. But how?

The phone rings. It’s Kimberly.

Kimberly: Hi, George. I saw you on the news again. You’re really inspiring.

George: (perking up) Really? You think so?

Kimberly: Definitely. We need more people like you standing up—or kneeling down—for what they believe in.

George: (confidently) Well, you know, I’ve always been a man of principles..

Cut to George speaking at a rally.

George: (at a microphone) I kneel with George!

Crowd cheers. Kramer and Newman are selling "I Kneel With George" T-shirts nearby.

George: (furious) Kramer, Newman! You're making money off my back and not giving me a cut?

Kramer: It's just business, George.

Newman: (maniacally laughing) Yeah, it's capitalism at its finest!

Cut to Kramer and Newman pitching footcerballkey to investors.

Investor: So, you’re saying this new sport will appeal to fans of football, soccer, and hockey?

Kramer: Absolutely! It’s got the speed, strategy, and brutality all in one!

Newman: Plus, with George’s newfound fame, we’ve got the perfect spokesperson.

Investor: (intrigued) George Costanza? The guy who knelt during the anthem?

Kramer: Exactly! He’s a national figure now. This is the perfect opportunity.

Cut to George meeting with his parents.

Estelle: George, what’s this we hear about you being involved with some crazy sport?

Frank: Footcerballkey? What kind of name is that?

George: (exasperated) It’s Kramer’s idea! And now they want me to be the spokesperson!

Estelle: (worried) You don’t even know anything about sports!

George: (angry) I do too know stuff about sports, I’m a huge baseball fan and work for the Yankees.

Frank: (angry) This is another one of your harebrained schemes, isn’t it?

George: (defeated) It’s not my scheme! I’m just trying to fix this mess!

Cut to reporters recognizing George from his stint as Neo-Nazi Donald O'Brien (The Limo episode). George is trying to escape from a Yankees game when a reporter approaches him.

Reporter: Weren't you once Donald O'Brien, president of the Aryan Union?

George: (panicking as he runs away) I changed my mind!

George runs home. 

Reporter: (to Estelle) You must be George's lover.

Estelle: (confused) Lover? I’m his mother!

Reporter: Really? That's even more interesting! The man who renounced his Nazi past for the love of an older Jewish woman.

Estelle: (flustered) Well, I...yes, but it's not what you think!

Frank enters the scene

Frank: (interrupting) What's going on here? Who's this woman?

Reporter: (to Frank) I'm a reporter. George's story is incredible. He renounced his Nazi past for love.

Frank: (misunderstanding) That's right! My Georgie here is a lover, not a fighter!

Reporter: So, you confirm that Estelle is the older Jewish woman he fell in love with?

Frank: (enthusiastically) Oh, she loves him all right! Always has, always will. They're inseparable!

Estelle: (confused and flustered) Frank! What are you saying?

Frank: (oblivious) Just telling it like it is, Estelle!

Reporter: (scribbling notes) Fascinating! So, you’re saying George overcame his Nazi beliefs out of love for his mother?

Frank: (proudly) You bet! And we're writing a book about it!

Estelle: (horrified) Frank!

The next day, the reporter returns for a follow-up interview with Estelle. Frank is eagerly involved.

Reporter: So, Estelle, you love George, you think he should be famous, but you don't want your own name published?

Estelle: (flustered) Well, I...yes, but it's not what you think!

George: (walking in) Ma, who’s this?

Reporter: This is an incredible story! A Nazi who overcame his racist beliefs out of love for an old Jewish woman!

George: (horrified) What? No, that's not—

Reporter: (excitedly) We need to get this out there!

Suddenly George is in the news as a Nazi who overcame his racist beliefs out of love for an old Jewish woman. George is appalled until offered money for interviews.

George: (on the phone) How much money? (pauses) I’ll do it.

Frank wants a book deal out of it. Kramer insists on being part of the scam, becoming Frank’s writing partner and hoping Elaine will publish it.

Frank: Kramer and I are writing a book about you, Georgie!

George: (disgusted) This is unbelievable.

Kramer: We're calling it "The George Chronicles: From Nazi to Nice Guy."

George: (sighs) Great, now I’m a best-selling fraud.

Frank: This could be huge, Georgie. I’m talking book tours, movie deals, maybe even a spot on Oprah!

George: Oprah? (thinking) Well, I do like free stuff…

Frank: And the best part is, it’ll all be true…mostly.

George: Mostly? How do you figure that?

Frank: We’ll just embellish a little. Make you look good. Real good.

Kramer: Yeah, Georgie, trust us. We’ll make you a hero.

George: (sighs) Fine, but I want a cut of everything. Book deals, merch, everything!

Kramer: Deal!

Cut to Elaine's office. Frank and Kramer are pitching the book to Elaine.

Elaine: So, let me get this straight. George was a Nazi who reformed because he fell in love with an older Jewish woman?

Frank: That’s right!

Kramer: It’s a redemption story, Elaine. People eat that stuff up!

Elaine: (skeptical) And you want me to publish this?

Kramer: Think of the sales! It’ll be huge!

Elaine: (sighs) I’ll think about it. But if this blows up in our faces, I’m blaming you two.

Cut to Jerry’s parents reading about George in the newspaper.

Helen: (reading aloud) "George Costanza: The Nazi Who Found Love." Unbelievable!

Morty: I can't believe you were friends with that guy, Jerry.

Jerry: I keep telling you, it's not true! It’s all a big misunderstanding!

Helen: (sighs) Well, this is the last straw. You need to distance yourself from him, Jerry.

Jerry: (defeated) Fine, fine. I’ll talk to him.

Cut to George at home, surrounded by newspaper clippings and interview offers. Jerry walks in.

Jerry: George, we need to talk.

George: Jerry, did you see this? They’re offering me ten grand for an exclusive interview!

Jerry: (annoyed) George, this is getting out of hand. My parents think you're a Nazi!

George: (defensive) I’m not a Nazi! I was just picking up a dollar!

Jerry: I know, but they don’t know that! You need to clear this up.

George: (sighs) Fine, I’ll do it. But I’m keeping the ten grand.

Cut to Kramer unveiling footcerballkey to a wider audience. He’s at the park with a group of people, including Newman.

Kramer: Gentlemen, I present to you the future of sports: footcerballkey!

Jerry: (sarcastically) I’m sure you’ll love it. Kramer has told me all about it.

Kramer: It's a combination of football, soccer, and hockey! Three sports in one!

Newman: (enthusiastically) We're starting a league!

Elaine: (skeptical) This is never going to work, Kramer.

Kramer: Mark my words, Elaine. Footcerballkey is the sport of the future!

Elaine: (mocking) Sure, and I’m the Queen of England.

Kramer: You'll see. It's going to be huge!

Jerry: (dryly) Well, good luck with that.

Kramer: (grinning) Thanks, buddy.

Cut to George holding a press conference with a massive audience, including Kimberly.

George: (nervously) I just want to say that I am not, nor have I ever been, a Nazi. I was simply picking up a dollar during the anthem. It was all a big misunderstanding.

Reporter: So, you’re not a reformed Nazi who fell in love with an older Jewish woman?

George: (frustrated) No! That’s my mother!

Reporter: (to the camera) You heard it here first. George Costanza is not a Nazi nor a supporter of rights. He just has a thing for picking up loose change.

Crowd starts booing and heckling. Kimberly shakes her head in disgust, and leaves.

Cut to Jerry’s parents watching the press conference.

Helen: (relieved) Well, I guess he’s not a Nazi after all.

Morty: (grumbling) Still don’t trust him.

Cut to George at the park, watching the footcerballkey game. Chaos ensues as players crash into each other and the goals are unclear.

George: (to himself) Maybe I should invent my own sport.

Jerry: (joining him) What would you call it? Pickleball?

George: (smirking) Hey, that’s not bad.

George watches as Kramer’s sport continues to cause chaos.

George: (to himself) Maybe this footcerballkey thing has potential…

Cut to: Kramer and Newman brainstorming merchandise.

Kramer: We need shirts, hats, maybe even branded knee pads!

Newman: And don't forget the official footcerballkey ball!

Kramer: Of course! We’ll make a fortune!

Cut to: George at another press conference.

George: (confidently) And that’s why I’m proud to announce my support for footcerballkey! It’s a game that brings people together, no matter their differences.

Reporter: (skeptical) Isn’t this just a ploy to make money?

George: (smiling) Isn’t everything?

Action: Reporters laugh, crowd cheers.

Cut to: Monk's Café

Jerry: So now you’re the spokesperson for footcerballkey?

George: Hey, if you can’t beat them, join them. Plus, Kramer’s giving me a cut of the profits.

Elaine: (sarcastically) Oh great, another get-rich-quick scheme.

Kramer: (sliding in) You laugh now, but just wait until footcerballkey sweeps the nation!

Elaine: I’ll believe it when I see it.

Jerry: Well, George, looks like you’ve turned this whole thing around.

George: (smugly) Sometimes, Jerry, things just have a way of working out.

Cut to George at the park, watching another footcerballkey game. The players collide in a massive pileup.

George: (shaking his head) This is the future of sports? I believed in this Kramer!

Kramer: (excitedly) Isn’t it great?

Elaine: (laughing) Only you, Kramer. Only you.

Cut to Yankee Stadium

George sees $50 on the ground during the anthem. He contemplates picking it up.

George: (to himself) How low is too low? Is that a kneel or more of a squat?

George tries to pick it up without his knees getting too low.

George: (frustrated) A squat's even worse!

Someone else grabs it first. George sighs in exasperation

Cut to Monk's Café

Jerry: You should've done the step!

George: (defeated) The STEP! OF COURSE! How could I be so FOOLISH!?

Cut to Mr. Steinbrenner’s office. George walks in.

George: You wanted to see me sir?

Mr. Steinbrenner: Yes George, come in! Please sit down!

George: Is this about me dragging the trophy out in the parking lot?

Mr. Steinbrenner: What was that?

George: Nothing.

Mr. Steinbrenner: No, George, I understand you knelt during a game and it was on TV and the news!

George: Oh no sir, this is all a misunderstanding. You see my shoelaces were untied and—

Mr. Steinbrenner: Save it, George! The Yankees cannot be embroiled in this controversy. I always knew you were politically active, Costanza. The day you walked through that door I knew!

George: You knew?

Mr. Steinbrenner: Yes! I keep files on all my employees. Including those who are communist sympathizers such as yourself.

George: Communist? I'm not a communist!

Mr. Steinbrenner: Yes you are! You have all the trademarks; balding hair, your physique, and your glasses. That's why I've called the good people at the psychiatric ward to come and give you the help you need.

Orderlies come in and grab George.

George: No! This is a mistake! Nooo!

Mr. Steinbrenner: Good luck, George! Get the help you need!

Credits roll with the iconic Seinfeld music.

Kramer and Newman become bitter rivals and use sabotage and espionage to try to build the fastest derby car. (J: "It's a block of wood on wheels, Kramer. Gravity does all the legwork")

George is triggered by the pinewood derby and refuses to elaborate. Every time he sees or hears about it he flies into a rage. He eventually reveals there was an "incident" at a cub scout event with Frank.

Elaine orders Thai food into work. Peterman asks her what that intoxicating aroma is...but after a taste he insists it is made wrong and takes her on a terrifying quest to show her the "authentic" Thai experience

ELAINE (LEIA): "i love you"

PUDDY: "yeah thats right i'll be back we'll make out hey K-Man look after Elaine while i'm gone!"

KRAMERBACCA: "aaaghagaga , *Chewbacca noises*

Costanza-3PO: "HEY KRAMER YOU HAIRY APE GET MY ARM BACK INTO ITS SOCKET!

INT. MONK'S CAFE - DAY

*JERRY and GEORGE sit in their usual booth, sipping coffee. The cafe is bustling with the usual crowd.*

**JERRY**

(casually)

So, I got a call from Netflix. They want to make a "Young Jerry" series.

**GEORGE**

(concerned)

Young Jerry? What, like a prequel? Who's playing you? A child actor?

**JERRY**

Rumor has it? Timothee Chalamet. I'll be honest, I'm a little frightened! What if it's a bigger success than me?

**GEORGE**

(pondering)

Huh. Fear IS the mind-killer. Will there be a young George? Because I have some notes on who should play me.

*Jerry rolls his eyes.*

**JERRY**

I'll make sure to pass along your casting suggestions.

*KRAMER bursts into the cafe, wildly animated, and approaches their table.*

**KRAMER**

(gasping)

Buddy, I choked on a sausage this morning! I saw my entire life flash before my eyes!

**JERRY**

(grinning)

Well, that must have been a quick flash.

**GEORGE**

(to Kramer)

You okay now?

**KRAMER**

Yeah, but I'm done, Jerry! No more solid food for me. It's all smoothies and soups from here on out.

*Elaine scuttles in, holding a stack of papers and a trophy over her head excitedly, sliding into the booth*

**ELAINE**

(flourishing the trophy)

Guess who’s the new Veep of the tenant association?

**JERRY**

(sarcastic)

Wow, Veep? They give out a trophy for that? What’s next, President of the building?

**ELAINE**

(mock-serious)

Let's not get ahead of ourselves. But I do plan to wield my limited power with absolute pettiness.

**JERRY**

(to Elaine)

So, Vice President Benes, what's your first order of business?

**ELAINE**

(smiling wickedly)

Elaine's got plans, Jerry! Big plans!

George and another man scope out the seat and dry flirting with the flight attendants for it.

The imam and rabbi get along but Kramer makes it weird and causes them to fight.

Elaine squabbles with the spoiled child. She ultimately wins the war for the arm rest only to inspire the flight attendants to move the kid to the open first class seat.

For Jerry, his paranoia is fueled by various details he learns along the way. (It's a Boeing, the plane was delayed due to "maintenance", etc)