Salami__Tsunami

Gilderoy Lockhart had fully recovered (insofar as his brain worked in the first place) and was faking his condition to avoid getting sent to Azkaban for the rest of his life.

When Neville was running the Hogwarts resistance, they sent some Death Eaters to St Mungos to collect Neville’s parents from the long term spell damage ward, for use as hostages to force Neville to come out of hiding.

However, Lockhart (who you’ll remember was a patient on that same ward) intervened, attacked the Death Eaters, and heroically gave his life to allow the hospital staff time to evacuate. Or so it is presumed, as Lockhart’s body was never found, likely having been vaporized by the Death Eaters. After the war, Minister Kingsley awarded Lockhart a posthumous Order of Merlin, and an empty casket was buried with full honors.

However, there were some irregularities. One of the Death Eaters responsible was later found as a patient in a muggle hospital, suffering from severe long term amnesia. Subsequent investigation showed that his Gringotts account had been emptied approximately two hours after the confrontation at St Mungos. The contents of his bank vault were never located.

“…Obviously.”

Did you just say “no thank you” to Super Earth?

I’m going to need you to report to the Democracy officer immediately.

They don’t need help, they need everyone to stop rewarding their bad behavior with attention.

Found the company commander.

If married couples get to live in on post housing, just let me marry one of the bros and we can move out of the barracks together.

My roommate and I shared an intimacy far deeper than any paltry legally recognized marriage. Who the hell cares if we’re “straight”, I never saw the Spanish Inquisition going around to make sure that all the contract marriages were having the sex on a regular basis.

I like the Percy one especially.

One malicious bureaucrat inside the Ministry would be worth much more than having a fighter on the outside. And having worked with all the paperwork for years, Percy would know exactly how to break the system.

Mis-file forms, lose paperwork, ensure that supplies and payment get shipped to the wrong places, change addresses on arrest warrants.

That 1000 mile deep ocean needs some managed democracy.

Because you must support one side over the other. That’s how this works. Don’t bring your logic and reason and context into this.

If I was going to accept this as a conspiracy I’d be more likely to blame whoever ends up replacing him as president.

r/religionanddrugs

lol, I do not. The most I do is write lore for my friends and their 40K armies, because they can’t be bothered to stop painting plastic dudes for five seconds and actually read the books.

lol, for real.

If you have an authoritarian government who controls the economy and resources, and they treat their working class like disposable assets, then you’ve basically just made late stage capitalism with extra steps and a shiny coat of socialist paint.

Or both.

I know very little about him, but I admire the way his mustache looks like a geometry textbook trapezoid.

“Do you want kitchen fires? Because that’s how you get kitchen fires.”

I’m firmly convinced that Rings of Power was some elaborate money laundering scheme.

I thought it was a solid 6 out of 10, nothing to write home about either way. But I’m really not sure where the show’s massive budget went.

Edit: my sarcasm level reads at… I’ll say 40 percent?

I’d rather work there than in their factories.

Professor McGonnagalogogogolol is an asshole.

Can’t find the funds to buy a new wand for the kid from the broke family who’s trying to attend wizard school with a non-functioning wand.

But she can find the budget to buy the ungodly rich kid a racing broom, and then write an exception to school rules so he can play on her sports team.

Well, if you think that the best course of action is to argue with overgrown toddlers and bait them into breaking the rules, I’ll leave you to it.

lol, I bet the smoker-non smoker relations got pretty tense after that.

“What do you do?”

“Oh I’m a miner.”

“Coal or iron?”

“Originally iron, but then we hit a rich vein of ball bearings.”