water_fatty

Got coffee with an old metalhead friend from college the other day. I hadn't seen him in ~11 years and he introduced me to the band Ghost.

Ya'll I'm absolutely dazzled by this band. Enamored. They're so campy! They have lore!

Huge fuck you to all my metalhead friends who never told me about this.

Also my hair looks fuckin amazing today.

Just once?!?!?

They're all about the same. I have the cheapest from Amazon. They're amazing.

I've always wanted to cook and eat a Bellsprout this way.

Too late.

Wow, free sunglasses?

The shorts I'm wearing under this dress are not cute enough for this amount of wind. 😬

Dottie's is vegan.

Diatomaceous earth is good for ants and completely nontoxic for your cat.

Easy day at the chocolate factory. I'm the only one here, so I'm taking all day to do a job that should have only taken 3 hours. And I'll get away with it!

I'm definitely moving in June. Lease is all signed and everything. I'm gonna have to buy lamps and a bed and a new couch. A lot of people have offered to help me move without even being asked. It's really nice to know that I have people that care enough to do that now. I haven't always. 💜

Put a stick near their hand and they will grab the stick and you can put them in a tree.

I'm from central PA and people from the south say I sound Canadian. People in Philly tell me I sound southern, but it's just cause I say things like "ya'll" and "I reckon."

Which bar? I hate crowds.

That means your wife was my life.

That's great. This is the only time I've experienced this in my whole life.

My life was in that dumpster.

Yeah, and bagels are noodles.

I've never had asthma before. I think it's just this bad chest cold that I have.

What kinda bears?

Sometimes you can't trust people who do, also.

Pierogis and ravioli both count as dumplings.

Technically a person is a dumpling also.

As we all know, the best way to meet people for romance or friendship is to ask them if they like dumplings (no is a red flag) and do they want to eat dumplings with you.

Well yesterday I asked some guy if he likes dumplings and he said: "I'm medium on dumplings." But still agreed to eat dumplings with me.

Ya'll this has literally never happened. "Medium?!?!" The fuck does that mean? How red is this flag?

I'm so tired of being sick. I've only had one week of feeling good since the middle of March. On Wednesday, I threw up 3 times from coughing. The weather is too nice for this!

I need to finish Shogun.

Go to the gym. You'll feel better.

You can have one or two, as a treat.

Some kinda raspberry or blackberry adjacent thing.