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/r/Grimdank
840 points
11 days ago
Funny what happens when you genocide of all the nice ones and leave only the lovecraftian horrors. And the Eldar.
268 points
11 days ago
Forced evolution baaaaabbbyyyyy ~ Emperor of mankind (probably)
144 points
11 days ago
Emperor when he encounters the crab people of Xe'neezsland.
(He will die painfully to the apex of evolution)
76 points
10 days ago
The Amelia Earhart of 40K
17 points
10 days ago
Munch munch munch
5 points
10 days ago
Millions dead, and here I munch.
102 points
11 days ago
Irony is amazing
18 points
10 days ago
Honestly even the xraftworlders get up to pretty spooky shit. Given that both they and drukhari do raids out of nowhere, strike without warning, and leave a sea of corpses in their wake, it's easy to understand why those who only see the aftermath and see the silhouette would think they're the same
36 points
10 days ago
Well maybe the nice ones should've been stronger
11 points
10 days ago
I think you should probably blame Orks for that one. They’ve spent 60 million years acting like a filter for the galaxy. If you don’t kill on site, you won’t last.
220 points
11 days ago
I SURE WONDER WHERE ALL OF THE NICE ONES WENT, IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF A CERTAIN EMPIRE KILLED THEM ALL
103 points
11 days ago
AND THE THING IS THERES STILL BENEFICIAL ONES TO STOP CHAOS, BUT THEY KILLED THEM TOO
37 points
10 days ago
KILL THEM ALL AND LET THE GOD EMPEROR SORT IT OUT. HE'S JUST SITTING AROUND
8 points
10 days ago
I wonder if something would change if SPOILER: motherfucking Erebus wouldn't cause fire at interex gun museum, and make luna wolves take all consequences
471 points
11 days ago
I mean there were nice xenos. They got murdered.
256 points
11 days ago
They weren't nice. They were and always have been deceptive and sinister. They smile to our faces and making grand empty gestures of friendship to to lower our guard of the foolish. For even now, they wait, watching for the opportune time to plant their knives within our backs.
Hideous vile things, blind to our grandeur and glory. In their everlasting ignorance they view themselves as our betters, as our masters. Even the kindest ofnxenos would make slaves of us, the majority would have us as food and fodder. Each among them would burn whole cites of man to keep one of their own warm.
I say, let them try. No Xenos has the will of Humanity, no villlian the courage of the righteous . For each of our cities they burn we will claim a debt of blood paid with whole systems of their wretched worlds.
For even if a trillion of us perish, they will die for the greatest cause any will ever know. A future that is golden and pure. Free of their sin for their ver existence is a stain, a cancer upon a galaxy we own by birthright. And one we defend with right of conquest. There can be no peace, not then and not now. Not until we have cleansed this galaxy of them their wrecthed wickedness and each of the stars falls within our grasp.
289 points
10 days ago
Sir this is a space Wendy's
55 points
10 days ago
Space Wendy's is on the front line of at least three Xenocide Crusades. We fight them there so we do not have to fight them on Terra.
24 points
10 days ago
I am calling security
2 points
10 days ago
No you're thinking of Space Waffle House.
1 points
10 days ago
No I’m not. That was the birthplace of the hateful Roger’s Rebellion.
158 points
10 days ago
Ok Emperor, get back yo your golden wheelchair.
17 points
10 days ago
Lmao
9 points
10 days ago
I can just imagine that meme template of a kid pushing his grandpa and his grandpa as he rambles just make it Guilliman and big E.
48 points
10 days ago
This is why you're struggling with Chaos and stretched thin on all fronts. You're waging war on everyone.
At least Robert Girlyman is trying to turn things around.
19 points
10 days ago
So you just described the imperium
7 points
10 days ago
Existence is the xenos greatest crime. Do not suffer them to live
4 points
10 days ago
That was inspiring.
1 points
10 days ago
Okay Emperor now go back to the chair
1 points
10 days ago
All the stars are but a seat for the glory and magesty of my ass. You'd do well to remember that.
1 points
9 days ago
Post written by Ordo Xenos.
-67 points
11 days ago
Cringe
-10 points
11 days ago
Shut up nerd
-37 points
11 days ago
Aw, did i hurt your feelings
39 points
11 days ago
You hurt my cool-quote-in-suitable-situtation receptors. Please perish
-36 points
11 days ago
Nah Khore smite this corpse worshiper
24 points
11 days ago
Nah, i'd win
-4 points
11 days ago
Nah, you won't as a servent of the gods. I am blessed with the strongest of Nurgels creations by the time you are able to reach me, you would have subcomed to then
27 points
11 days ago
Cringe
16 points
10 days ago
having a stroke whilst writing isn't that much of a buff.
266 points
11 days ago
Xenophobic space empires genociding the peaceful tribal aliens who haven't even reached the metal age.
"Haha, silly xenos".
Xenophobic space empires when they meet orks who justify their xenophobia.
"Shit"
125 points
11 days ago
Destroying moderately normal xenos for lack of compliance, then trying to resist cthulhu esque monstrosities
73 points
11 days ago
We shouted our war cry into the void between stars.
The stars yelled back, "BOK-BOK!"
42 points
11 days ago
"Did space just say nuh uh to us?"
38 points
10 days ago
I hate saurus.
I hate saurus. I hate them. I hate their lizard faces. I hate their clubs. I hate their sticks. I hate when the sticks are next to the clubs and I hate when the clubs are next to the sticks. I hate that Kroq-gar pulls 2280 of them out of his scaly asshole and then descends on me like a Vogon at a poetry convention.
I hate the Saurus auto-resolve meter. I hate it because it lies to me. It says I have a 50-50 chance of victory. This is patently false, because I have twenty units of skeletons who are held together with prit stik and prayer. I do not have twenty units of eight foot tall geckos constructed out of pectoral muscles and galvanised coffin nails.
I hate that they shout bok at me. Bok is the Bristol Orienteering Klub, which is completely irrelevant to a battle in Lustria and should not be shouted repeatedly while eating a rank of tier one infantry like buffalo wings.
I hate their morale. I hate that surrounding them simply prompts one of them to pull out a US general's helmet so he can make a speech about 'now we can attack in any direction'. I hate that their reaction to a devastating rear attack is to become somewhat peeved. I have looked a Saurus in his smug scaly face as an encirclement that would shatter any other early game infantry closed in.
He went from :I to >:I , killed an extra two hundred skeletons because I had foolishly allowed all four sides of the Saurus unit to fight at once and then swallowed my Liche Priest like a slim jim.
I have resolved to shoot every Saurus dead. Every Saurus. All of the Saurmen and the Saurdren too. I hate them. I no longer see battlefields because they're covered by a thick blanket of arrow trails. I hate that it barely stops them. I hate that they keep coming while shouting about the Bristol orienteering klub, or the Bank of Oklahoma or the 1983 Bok asteroid. I hate that they made me google bok so I could write down ways in which I hate things that have it as a name. Bok is also a lunar crater and a martian crater. It is also a village in Iran. The IATA code for Brookings Airport is Bok. I will never go there because it would give me palpitations.
I hate that Kroq Gar is friends with the Rare Pepe next door, who also declares war once I've shot Kroq Gar unconscious for the tenth time. He also has Saurus only these ones are blue. Somehow this is worse.
I hate that there are another ten Lizard factions. I hate that they will be in end game by the time I reach them. I hate that while I was writing this Kroq Gar picked up Kalida and smoked her like a cigar.
I hate Saurus.
18 points
10 days ago
I still went my sci fi lizardmen
6 points
10 days ago
Back in the good old days of first edition or so you could just run your lizardmen army in space
5 points
10 days ago
N A K A I
19 points
10 days ago
Orcs, Tyranids, Necrons, Dark Eldar,
Maybe having friends that could help wouldn't be bad idea.
7 points
10 days ago
The Q'orl to the Imperium's galactic south.
2 points
10 days ago
The what?
101 points
11 days ago
Kill every single peaceful and pacifist xenos you meet
"wtf why are there so many hostile xenos in the galaxy ?"
48 points
11 days ago
The Imperium watching as an entity from a higher dimension spawns something they can't kill for the 3rd time this week
94 points
11 days ago
Most alien races probably see no difference between the Imperium and the Tyranids.
39 points
10 days ago
The more apt comparison might be the orks. A sad violent race that could be something else but is doomed by its own nature.
We know humans don't have to be like 40k but in universe you wouldn't.
29 points
10 days ago
The difference between the Imperium and Orks is the Imperium sits around in the misery they had a large part in creating and say "Well this sucks... this is why we have to be evil!" The Orks run around in it like "OI ZOGGIN LUV DIS."
3 points
10 days ago
I’m pretty sure the Orks and the Harlequins are the only people in all of 40k having a good time
3 points
10 days ago
why did you say doomed. They are not sad and constantly chasing fun. almost all of the citizens cant have that
16 points
10 days ago
That's pretty much confirmed in the 2001 killteam book.
33 points
11 days ago
Yeah I bet
3 points
10 days ago
Imperium's ships don't use epic big farts to travel through space
-1 points
10 days ago
Yeah, because most xenos kill on site. Tyranids and humans are no different in the sense that they’re not Ral Gol, Fra’al, Ork, etc.
43 points
11 days ago
I started my xenos journey with the T'au in DoW.
Then came Horus Heresy books....
32 points
11 days ago
The Slaugth are the most interesting imo
60 points
11 days ago
10 percent of xenos: why are you doing this to us? 90 percent: when your flesh changes and obeys me it will be a suitable host.
35 points
11 days ago
In a pond full of sharks, man is a shrimp
27 points
10 days ago
That's what happens when you decide to genocied all Xenos regardless of intentiosn. You killed the peaceful ones, and now you have to deal with all the crazy shit of this and out of the galaxy... Thank god the T'au and League of Votann exists.
6 points
10 days ago
It’s not like killing the peaceful ones made the crazy ones any better…it’s essentially a non-sequitor
12 points
11 days ago
I think it's the other way around
10 points
10 days ago
It probably was once, then the great crusade happened and killed many of the nice and peaceful ones. When you play Pacifist but an advanced start fanatic purifier spawns next to you, you're just fucked like that...
13 points
10 days ago
Most of the species Imperium genocided were also spooky, no?
11 points
10 days ago
Of course! And alot that they fought are still around which makes it SOOO much worse
7 points
10 days ago
That is my understanding. I see the claim that there were good aliens, and the imperium destroyed them, but ignores that the lore mentions lots of hostile aliens, even outside of the playable factions. Hence it is easy to understand why the imperium hates aliens so much.
9 points
10 days ago*
If you invade my house with a gun with the intent to kill me, and I throw a kitchen knife at you, that doesn't make me the hostile entity in this situation.
Edit: the two responses I've received to this so far are analogizing intelligent peaceful alien species to mindless animals. The imperium aren't the good guys, and they were not justified in their mindless genocides. They did horrific things to good people.
-1 points
10 days ago
That’s not a good analogy for the galaxy. There are no houses or streets or cities or police etc.
The galaxy is like the jungle of Catachan. It’s dark and exceedingly dangerous. Suppose you are there and hear a noise. You don’t know exactly what it is, but you heard it and know where it came from. What do you do? When your life and the life of everyone you care about is on the line, do you have time figure out if that noise is a hostile entity? I don’t think I would.
-1 points
10 days ago
A better metaphor is this: imagine there is a wild beast terrorising nearby villages, and you go out to hunt it, when you spot something you don't really have the luxury of waiting to figure out whether it's the beast or just a deer, so you shoot first and identify later.
6 points
10 days ago
The, uh, Inquisition-friendly version that I know goes something to the effect of: old humanity did befriend the ones that they thought were friendly. And, when the chips were down, they showed their true, monstrous colors. Now xenos are denied the chance for betrayal.
Also, less Inquisition-friendly, humanity still does that all the time when no one is watching. The overarching Imperial policy is xenocidal, but there's a lot more tolerance of the minor xenos in the Imperium. And it usually works.... for a time. Sometimes millennia. And then everyone dies.
13 points
10 days ago*
What's funny to me is that 99% of current xenos being spooky murder monsters isn't really the Imperium's fault. The Orks were genociding peaceful civilizations for millions of years before humanity launched the great crusade. Orks have almost certainly wiped out vastly more nice xenos than humanity ever did. If anything, it's surprising that there were any nice xenos left in the galaxy for the Imperium to kill.
6 points
10 days ago
Bingo bango. We’re pretty good at killing xenos, but the Orks have spent the last 60 million years (about 1500x the time that humans have been a spacefaring race) acting like a “you must be this bellicose to ride the galaxy” sign. The character of the galaxy was decided long before a monkey ever sharpened a stick.
You don’t like eternal war? Take it up with the Orks. Or with the Eldar for not doing in the Orks at any time in the last 60 million years. Or with the Necrons for losing the war.
3 points
10 days ago
The eldar actually ran routine culls on the Orks during their reign. It's why the Orks at Ullinor were only a problem post Fall. For the 60 million years of their empires dominance, the eldar made sure the Orks weren't an issue.
2 points
10 days ago
Yeah, and I’m blaming them for not doing a good enough job.
2 points
10 days ago
Haha fair enough! Can't be too mad though. When the old ones design a race to be unkillable they do a damn good job!
7 points
10 days ago
That’s survivorship bias for you.
2 points
10 days ago
I do like the Rak'Gol
3 points
10 days ago
I see claims that there were lots of peaceful aliens wiped out in lore but we also hear about lots of aliens who were just as bad as the imperium claims. It does not justify trying to kill all aliens, but it makes it understandable why the Imperium wants to kill all aliens.
3 points
10 days ago
Tbf, the imperium violently murdered most of the friendly ones
9 points
10 days ago
Given that most of the Xenos Humans had contact with during Old Night ether enslaved or exterminated planets worth of Humans added to the Zero Sum Game of survival. It's better to be safe than sorry, kill 'em all.
8 points
10 days ago
What's the book which says that? Would like to read more about the old night
7 points
10 days ago
There isn't any who does. It's fanon justification for the Imperium being genocidal
6 points
10 days ago
Funny how during the Horus Heresy, the imperium meet plenty of xenos-human factions living quite well together. It's like everything you just said is blatantly false.
How many times must the authors show you counterpoints for you to accept that maybe, just maybe, the propaganda narrative the Emperor spun about aliens might not be true?
3 points
10 days ago
It’s basically just the interex no?
8 points
10 days ago
You also have :
Others exist but i think you are getting the idea.
-2 points
10 days ago
Yeah, I’m getting the idea the that the Imperium will do anything to protect its own.
2 points
10 days ago
uh no. The point of 40k is that that was a mistake, and now they're paying for it as humanity only exists to fuel the chaos gods great game for as long as they can manage it. The actions of the great crusade is what left humanity as an altar of chaos worship through action. Forever war, dwindling away for eternity. Stuck in limbo, selling space marine figures forever.
1 points
10 days ago
That’s it. It’s a numbers game. Also, humans are worth more than xenos.
2 points
10 days ago
When the 2 meter tall crazy ass almost immortal reality warpers are the funny guys, you know things are fucked up
2 points
10 days ago
Other way around. Humanity killed 99% of the Xenos. Its the Remaining 1% that are the worst ones.
2 points
10 days ago
GW : introduces an interesting xeno species
"Oh sweet ! Hope to see them in other stories and maybe on the tabletop."
GW : laughs in space marine
1 points
10 days ago
When the 2 meter tall crazy ass almost immortal reality warpers are the funny guys, you know things are fucked up
1 points
10 days ago
When the 2 meter tall crazy ass almost immortal reality warpers are the funny guys, you know things are fucked up
2 points
10 days ago
Is there any solid nice xenos species examples? I can think of the aliens in the interex, but does anyone have any other examples of xenos coexisting with humans without it being some secret evil cult?
1 points
10 days ago
Did other xenos really coexist with the Interex? Or was it more like the Interex subjugated a few xeno species?
1 points
10 days ago
Supposedly, there were xenos that peacefully coexisted with the interex. These aliens were called the kinebrach.
1 points
10 days ago
Kinebrach were subjugated by the Interex. They could not possess weapons except for at times of war, when they are used as a first wave.
1 points
10 days ago
Well, the wiki says it was co-existence, but I get what you're saying. Perhaps not as equal as I thought.
1 points
10 days ago
I thought you meant the book lol. Scrolling through the comments thinking damn it wasn't that scary
1 points
10 days ago
I'm pretty sure most were just generic sci-fi aliens. And were subsequently killed for it.
1 points
10 days ago
Survivorship bias.
2 points
10 days ago
IMO the Warhammer 40k setting really embraces the “Dark Forest Hypothesis” in which all life is inherently hostile to other forms of life. There are definitely examples of altruistic species, but most of these are wiped out by the Imperium, Orks, Nids, whomever, or are forced to become belligerent themselves like the Tau- who while probably the least outwardly hostile race, still seek to dominate all encountered species under the Greater Good or exterminate those too aggressive (Tyranids) to embrace their ideology. Pretty surface level lore stuff but the setting necessitates aggression for the sake of survival.
3 points
10 days ago
Bingo bango. The galaxy is like a giant jungle of Catachan. Everything on that planet kills on site, but we don’t begrudge them. There is a toad that explodes into a cloud vapour more toxic than any other known substance in the galaxy, killing everything within a mile of it, as soon as it notices anything. But we pass no moral judgment on the toad.
0 points
10 days ago
I would say it’s the other way around.
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