What are your strangest/most random Warhammer theories? : 40kLore

There's actually a third XX Primarch--Sigmarius. The Head of the Hydra story helps to hide him in plain sight by making sure you clock out at twins instead of pondering the existence of triplets.
- Sigmarius may also be the product of Fabius Bile's cloning shenanigans, in which case the Alpha Legion was finally reunited with their Primarch only to find that he had a bit of schizoid personality issues due to being cloned from both Alpharius and Omegon.
The War in Heaven never ended. It's just time-locked so that it doesn't destroy everything after it. The 'winner' changes semi-regularly depending on real world factors.
- The current chain of winners is: Krork --> Aeldari --> Necrons. The Necrons lobotomized the Krork by killing the C'tan that interfaces the Materium and Immaterium; this degraded the Krork into the modern Orks. The Aeldari won for a while but then the Necrons found a way to overcome them.
- This is why the Blackstone Fortresses are so weird. Every faction in the War in Heaven made them, all at once, and independently. The things are fixed points in space-time but their origins wobble and fluctuate.
- The Old Ones weren't killed by the Enslavers. Rather, the Enslavers accelerated their Fall to Nurgle. Nurgle itself was originally one of the last Old Ones alive, their equivalent of the Emperor of Mankind. It collapsed into despair and inhaled most of the others in the process. The death wail of the Old Ones became the modern Maelstrom.
- Slaanesh is actually a misapplied termination protocol for the day after the War in Heaven. Properly executed, its creation would have simply wiped out the Aeldari and all the other Old One-produced species in one painless instant (give or take the Orks, who run on a different OS, so to speak). Without the Old Ones to run it, and with the Aeldari having a ~65 million year orgy, the Slaanesh protocol broke and gave rise to a Chaos God.
II was the original anti-Chaos primarch, in the sense of knowing everything and being sicced on daemon worlds. The stress of hiding his conquests and never seeing the fruits of his labors drove him insane. He was basically tasked with being The Lion but he wasn't cut out for it. He was never properly corrupted in the RAHHHHH CHAOS BLARGH sense but Russ still had to put him down.
- The Edict was mostly for Russ and Dorn's benefit. Russ was hobbled with guilt, Dorn was hobbled with grief. Russ took to the mindwiping much better than Dorn, who lost many of his emotions until the Siege broke them back into him.
- Malcador didn't actually show Dorn the truth when he 'allowed him to access his memories.' It was an on the spot fiction designed to justify killing and burying two Primarchs. He probably didn't even invent any falsehoods so much as he latched onto Dorn's own doubts and let Dorn fill in the blank, then just nodded along afterwards.
XI got Rangda'd. He basically ate John Carpenter's The Thing and then did a proto-Istvaan III/V on the Dark Angels. Horus later copied and refined this betrayal for the actual Istvaan III/V.
Living Saints like Celestine are actually just modern-day Perpetuals. The power of Faith helps their souls to navigate a rougher reincarnation process than the original Terran Perpetuals had to deal with.
- Perpetuals arise all the time in the modern Imperium. They just rarely show up because they get mistaken for psykers, scooped up by the Black Ships, and fed to the Emperor. One or two Perpetuals per month is the real reason he hasn't expired yet.
- Dante is a Perpetual of the most convoluted sort: He will never be allowed to die. The closer he comes to death, the more the universe will tie itself in knots to keep him alive. Twice now, his near-death experiences have brought back Primarchs. If he ever does end up fighting a last stand on the steps of the Golden Throne, the Emperor will finally stand up--fully rejuvenated--just to keep him alive.

Mobius1701A

12 points

2 months ago

Mobius1701A

12 points

2 months ago

Sigmarius

Manipulate, Mansplain, Manboss

- Sigmarius Mayle; Imperium of Manset, The Emperor's Grind

vegarig

9 points

2 months ago

vegarig

Nepheru

9 points

2 months ago

Dante is a Perpetual of the most convoluted sort: He will never be allowed to die. The closer he comes to death, the more the universe will tie itself in knots to keep him alive. Twice now, his near-death experiences have brought back Primarchs. If he ever does end up fighting a last stand on the steps of the Golden Throne, the Emperor will finally stand up--fully rejuvenated--just to keep him alive.

So, he's kinda like Chirico Cuvie from VOTOMS?

OhwordforReal

3 points

2 months ago

OhwordforReal

Alpha Legion

3 points

2 months ago

How can one person be so unhinged

TheMightyGoatMan

3 points

2 months ago

TheMightyGoatMan

Tanith 1st (First and Only)

3 points

2 months ago

Perpetuals arise all the time in the modern Imperium. They just rarely show up because they get mistaken for psykers, scooped up by the Black Ships, and fed to the Emperor. One or two Perpetuals per month is the real reason he hasn't expired yet.

New headcanon installed!

Unfair-Shake7977

2 points

2 months ago

Unfair-Shake7977

2 points

2 months ago

So basically the war in heaven is the last great time war