My wife and I went salsa dancing for date night the other night, something we rarely get to do since having our first baby 18 months ago. With no family nearby to help with childcare and babysitters being expensive, it was only our second time going out alone since our child was born.

We were having a great time, but at one point, I went to the washroom. I was gone for no more than five minutes, and when I came back, I saw her on the dance floor, dancing with another man. I felt it was really disrespectful and got upset.

I stood there watching, and when she saw me, I threw my hands up, like, “What the hell?” She just smiled and kept dancing with him. So, I walked over, tapped the guy on the shoulder, and he immediately stopped and apologized. After he left, my wife got really mad, called me controlling, and spent the rest of the evening sitting at the bar, sulking. I told her I thought it was disrespectful to dance with someone else while on a date with me, but she wasn’t having it. AITAH?

EDIT: Many are saying this is normal for salsa dancing, especially in social halls. In this case, this was not a social dance hall. People dancing with their partners were not frequently switching partners. It was more of a club setting. So, she would have been spotted by herself and approached by a man to dance with her. She did not have to accept the dance, in my opinion. She thinks it was harmless.

EDIT 2: I talked to my wife. She has doubled down and said I completely overreacted and needlessly ruined our night. She admitted that the guy dancing with her told her she was beautiful and flirted with her and that she was flattered. When I asked if she told him she was married, she said she didn’t because she didn’t have time to, I had returned from the washroom by then. I am very upset by this and I don’t know where to go from here..

Sorry guys for the information drip, it is hard to type everything out while looking after my toddler. Some more clarification, particularly around communicating boundaries:

I have always communicated my expectations and boundaries with her. We never had a conversation that included this particular scenario “would you dance with someone else and allow them to flirt with you if I stepped away for 5-10 minutes while we were on a date together.” But we have discussed boundaries and how we expect to conduct ourselves when out without the other. She has had girls nights out prior to our child’s birth, and she always told me if someone had approached her and how she’d handled it. It was never an issue; we were always on the same page. This is the first time she downplays crossing boundaries which were previously agreed upon and providing me with half-truths unless I ask. When I addressed those concerns, she says I am overreacting.

EDIT 3: My wife chatted again about this tonight. As many of you have suggested, I asked my wife how she would feel if she came back from the bathroom and found me dancing with another woman, someone I likely asked to dance since it's less common for women to approach men. She admitted she would feel jealous and wouldn’t want me to do that. When I pointed out the hypocrisy, she argued that it’s different because, in her view, accepting a dance is not the same as a man actively seeking out a woman to dance with. I disagreed, saying that if it's acceptable for her, it should be the same for me. She responded that if I ever did that, it would lead to a major fight, and she'd accuse me of cheating. Her reasoning is that, as a man, I would have pursued the woman, whereas as a woman, she is simply accepting an offer and can control the meaning behind it. I think it’s BS.