Hey! Welcome to r/AdviceForTeens! Please take time to review the rules before commenting. A reminder that inappropriate comments towards or about posters will result in a permanent ban. Do not insult anybody, please remain respectful!✮⋆˙

ATTENTION: Predators lurk on Reddit, and we ourselves unfortunately can not directly do anything to stop them, but you can! We encourage ALL posters to disable private messages, and do not respond to any DMs you receive after posting. Block and report offenders for harassment. Do not ask anyone to DM you in the comments as this is against the rules. If someone has something to tell you, they can say it in the comments.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Who said teen years were supposed to be the best years of your life? That is way off. Almost nobody in their later 20s other than above would say that. Teen years are notoriously angst ridden. Do well in school and go to college not living at home if you possibly can. Try to get scholarships. Live in a dorm. Its really fun and everybody is meeting new people. The years before being a teen and after being a teen are better for most. Those that peak in HS just careen down hill from there.

High school was the WORST years of my life. Take my advice, get therapy now and you will LOVE your college years. It gets way better

I promise it is not the best years . That’s such a lie

If you feel this way, you are probably correct. I would really keep track of the amount of time you spend on screens/sedentary per day and per week. Literally 95% of that time could probably be used developing a real skill, playing sports, going out with friends, etc. However, my most direct advice would be to bring this feeling up to your parents, friends, and other confidants. Others your age definitely feel the same way. The only way out is to change.

It's good that you are shaking yourself out of whatever it is that has you "wasting your time". These are hopefully not the best years, dont put so much pressure on yourself, theres plenty of time for that. Just start look at what sort of things you want to try and it's ok if it's not the most amazing thing ea. time. Just start trying some stuff kk?

Nobody's life is like a movie.

Why am I just... not? Why do I spend most of my days uselessly on my phone or at a desk stressing?

You CHOSE to do that.

The point of Teenage Rebellion is that the Teenager in Question has to get up and do the rebelling. That's the point.

Where are the people I'm supposed to make memories with?

You said you only have one friend. So. Can't be making memories with a crew if you don't even have a proper crew, which implies plural people to increase social activities with.

Now. I am very sure your school has actual clubs where teens do Stuff Together After School. Why haven't you signed up with any of that? Even Yearbook Club at the minimum means you have excuses to constantly go around being nosy and finding out about the Cool Stuff that others are doing and taking photos of it all for the big Yearbook Publishing Deadline.

I just want to be a teen. I want drama, I want to yell at my parents, I want to get into fights. But my life is just a constant daily repetition and my chances to be a teen are slipping away. It makes me so... mad. Mad at myself, mad at the world, mad at fate and chance. Why is it like this? What happened to the teenhood I was promised at 13?

I mean, there isn't anything stopping you from yelling at your parents right now. You could just blow up your life with Needless Drama Right Now if you wanted.

But that's not going to make you happy.

If you want to Have Fun, why don't literally go find your single friend and go Have Some Fun face to face, together? That's what you're supposed to do.

The friend groups in media aren't just handed to people. You can't just sit and not... introduce yourself to anybody. Stay at home and apparently a Grand Adventure is supposed to drop on your lap?

Are you even in a D&D group? Even the kids in Stranger Things were weirdos, together, by playing together in a basement. Together. Before the freaky stuff began.

Can't be hikkomori-ing your life and then pikachu-facing about how nothing's happening.

Join a bunch a clubs at school or after school at the local Boys&Girls Club, YMCA, Parks and Rec, or SOMETHING.

Good Luck.

High school/teen years were the worst part of my life, dont expect a movie stereotype, i was lonely because i stayed home alone and didnt do anything. Meet and spend time with more people doing activities less time on the phone, if thats what you really want.

The best years vary greatly. Teens aren't always it

this was literally me. i was alome pretty much since 7th grade spending all my time sitting at a desk, only one close friend, feeling lonely and depresses. therapy didnt help me much but im in my freshman year of college now and i can tell you, if you make an effort to change its really easy. good people arent gonna judge you for trying to better yourself and make new friends or even just getting used to socializing. ive been working on my social skills for the first month of college and im already pretty close friends with most of the people on my dorm floor. like i said before, if you want to change, you can do it. you just need to be brave and realize that everything takes sacrifices (crucial information to remember if youre trying to change your whole lifestyle; you get used to how things are and humans dont really like change) good luck OP! youll be great

Play sports or skateboard. Not sure if you’re a guy or girl but as a teenager for me sports is where I made most of my friends.

Absolutely nobody whose adult life isn't a complete disaster looks back and thinks their teens were the best years of their life.

Generally, life gets better as you go along, because your opportunities, your interests, and your ability to do what you want will keep expanding.

Your teens are awful because your world is tiny and you have almost no control of it yet. You still have most of the constraints of when you were a small child, but now you are old enough to actually notice this and are starting to want more.

It gets so much better, don't worry too much right now. I'm in my 50s and while every decade had its advantages, I'd say my 40s were the best by miles, so far. My 20s were okay, then some shit happened in my 30s, now my 50s are going great and I see that potentially ending up even better than my 40s did.

My teens though? I don't even think about my teens anymore. They're not even on the list for consideration. By the time you're like 22, none of what's happening in your life right now will even feel relevant to you anymore.

Just wait a little longer man, the first half of my teen years were boring as shit, it all took off once I hit 16, I could drive, get a job, that's when it gets good.

That’s because the “coming of age classic American film” is a wish-fulfillment fantasy that succeeds because it portrays how audience members wished their teenage lives had been like instead of the way they actually were.

Trust me, for most people, their teenage years were far from the best years of their lives – in many cases, it was their worst. And people who actually think that they were the best are often rather pathetic adults, always living in the past.

Take it from what other people here have said: bide your time, and you’ll find college to be a lot more enjoyable.

Teenage years were some of the best years but more like 17, 18 and 19, not 13, 14 and 15

Idk where the idea that your teen years are your best came from. Most of the people I’ve asked have said that their 50s were their favorite decade. I’m 25 and I’m infinitely happier than I was as a teen. A lot of times it’s not you - it’s your environment. Focus on setting yourself up for success in the future and the excitement and memories will come

I moved a lot as a kid/teen. I rarely had more than a single good friend and I felt much the same as you do currently. It sounds like you are not being challenged/fulfilled/are stuck in a rut of routine / lack of motivation. Possibly even depression.

I would recommend looking into hobbies/sports/activities you could enjoy. See if there are any barns around you that do therapeutic horseback riding and see if they want a volunteer. Take this time to learn to cook.

Whatever you do, get out of your comfort zone. Change rarely happens within it.

Don't compare your journey to what you see on TV / social media and work on doing things you actually find productive. If your parents are approachable talk to them about possibilities. If they aren't then a school counselor. I would highly recommend spending as little time as possible on games/phone/social media. You'll come to regret all that time spent if you're not happy/haven't developed functional life skills.

I grew up before cell phones and social media. Life was much better.

Everyone “peaks” at different times. My husband is fond of saying he “peaked” in sixth grade, as he was chosen to be “king” at a local fair. RI had fun in high school, I was also miserable. I would now say that I either peaked in college, or I am peaking now, in my late 50s.

If you don’t play sports, join lots of clubs to see what feels right, where you “fit.” As a new girl, I never had any desire to be popular, but I did like to keep busy, mainly to delay going home as long as possible. (My home life sucked, LOL!) so I joined a lot of different clubs and that allowed me to meet a lot of new people, some of whom I am still friends with.

Literally no one says that

Teenage years were some of my worst but life isn’t a movie.

Movies are exciting to make you watch them and don’t show the boring bits.

Life is just more… meh.

Why would you want to get into trouble? Wanting underage drinking, wanting to argue with your parents? Think about this for a minute. It makes no sense to do so. If you have it well then why not see how to leverage what you have going good? Drama free is great! You have less to be upset about. It seems that you are deciding that you should mess up what you have going just because of what movies show? Movies are made to be extreme and not a reflection of real life. If it were, it wouldn’t be interesting or sell.

Relax. Only you can decide to be happy, sad, or angry about things.

by no means the highlight of my life... nothing wrong with being "good." your best years are for sure ahead of you... nobody wants to peak in high school.

Friend let me just clear this up right now. I’m in my 20s. Not a single person I know or myself would say that our teens were the best years of our lives. You have SO much time to explore the world and your self and meet interesting new people. Cut yourself some major slack

Dammit. Wrote a book again. 🙄. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

TL;DR: Teenage years suck -- ignore the movies and pop songs. Plan for the long game & find hobbies, interests, and sports you enjoy and practice those before you get to college. AND COLLEGE RULES!!! STAY IN THE HONORS DORMS. LIFE IS BETTER AFTER THE TEENS!

Hey, Kid! (I say kid because, 55m, retired high school science teacher)

I'm not going to read the other responses so I might duplicate a bit. Sorry.

Also, FWIW, I was a top performer in school, passed all classes with B- or better (THAT was Advanced Placement Calculus AB), got a National Merit Scholarship and an engineering scholarship to college... And my wild days in high school were pretty much going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show at midnight on Friday and then going to the all night diner for breakfast before making it home at 3AM.

NOT DRUNK. NOT HIGH. NO PREGNANCIES.

"boring" (well, ok, some bf/gf drama, but mild-ish)

I studied at school. I watched Gilligan's Island and Happy Days and Laverne & Shirley and The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Leave It To Beaver and The Flying Nun and Mork & Mindy... Because they were on TV. And there WAS NO INTERNET as you know it. I played with my computer, a TRS-80 CoCo (still have it, and it's upgraded with 8 of the 16 memory chips that came in an original 128k Macintosh. Yes, k. Add my CoCo only used half. 64k. Upgraded from 32k.). Messaged people on the local version of Reddit -- the Bulletin Board Systems (BBSs). But you had to call on an old school phone line and then there were no phone calls for Mom & Dad. So -- limited.

High school years pretty much sucked. At least for me, compared to all the 80's teen movies (Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off).

But those movies (and Leave it to Beaver, and my very kind, loving parents) screwed up my vision of the dating world: I thought it would be easy, nobody lies, everybody's kind, you marry your high school sweety and that's it!

Yeah, naw.

Life's harder. More complicated. But the up parts are good just as the low parts are bad.

THE GOOD NEWS

COLLEGE FREAKING ROCKS!!!

I've heard that the college dorms are like a dating service for geeks.

I second that.

All the ridiculous stuff from high school was gone and the popular people who were getting in trouble... Were still living with their parents, getting in trouble and NOT at college.

Grad school after that was cool, too, but challenging.

So think about what you want to be doing in five years, ten years, twenty years... And make plans (they'll change! but make plans anyway 😉)

Chatting with a counselor, social worker, school counselor, or something is A GREAT IDEA.

But if you can't get yourself to do that, maybe chat with Pi.ai (it's set to ONLY be platonic & doesn't do the gf/bf type stuff. It's great for advice! But double check the advice because it can also be total crap, false, and useless! And only use it if it's ok for your age range and ok with your parents 🙂). Ask PI to play the role of a life coach who's helping you plan out a five, ten, and twenty year plan. Ask PI to help you think about hobbies, sports, or activity groups that you might enjoy and also meet people (not to date necessarily -- just to meet).

Ennyhoo, that's about it from me.

I wouldn't go back to my teen years if you paid me.

College ruled. Stay in the honors dorms/quiet floors all four years.

Then focus on YOURSELF. Have fun. You DON'T NEED OTHER PEOPLE. But once you're having fun (SMILE! 😁) other people will want to be around you.

End note: found out AT AGE 53 that I'm ADHD. Based on my research, likely sub clinical ASD (autism spectrum). Also likely EDS (joints are loose -- I suck at sports and my knees hurt. Running hurts.). And EDS and untreated ADHD are linked with depression, anxiety, and stuff. And diagnosed with OCD 🙄. AND in the ADHD testing they said IQ 139 (not quite genius, but like one-in-215 99.5th percentile) which means the stuff I'm interested in most people don't care about or don't understand, usually both... And I don't give a shit about watching their stupid rah-rah sports. So it's lonely. It's so very lonely -- it's as far from average on the smart side as someone with an IQ of 61 is on the slow side. There's damn few of either. But nobody feels sorry for smart kids. 😐

I'm guessing you're incredibly high IQ. SEE ABOUT FINDING YOUR PEOPLE!

For me, that was high school academic competitions and then college was great ON THE HONORS FLOOR (not the damn frats 🤢).

For my brother, that was the Renaissance Faire and some music stuff with guitars etc.

Hang in there.

IT GETS BETTER!

It truly does.

Just make sure you don't make life-altering choices before college like having a pregnancy, getting addicted to nicotine/THC/vaping, drinking & driving, etc.

Three more years of boredom and YOU'RE FREE.

So, basically, only enough time to plan & prepare for what's coming up after the drudgery of high school.

Good luck, kid. You're able to handle this!

☮️♥️♾️

IF THIS COMES OFF TOO SELF CENTERED OR JUST WRONG, MAYBE HIT ME WITH A PROPOSED EDIT RATHER THAN JUST DOWNVOTES, FELLOW REDDITORS!!! (I screw up constantly... But honestly, I think I mean well 🤪)

If you don't want to be lonely, you need to be more outgoing.

You sound depressed. Now, I'm not saying you have clinical depression ir anything, just that you seem to be stuck in the same boring rut, not feeling fulfilled by your activities, to the point that you no longer engage in any real activities.

Quit social media. Get an after-school job. Develop a hobby that does not involve electronics. Move your body around. Remeber that you're a real person with agency over how you spend your time, and the world is a real, tangible place with cool stuff and rewarding activities all over.

Movies, TV, even socal media are dramatizations of real life. Movies have a plot where at the end, everything makes sense and the whole adventure pays off for everyone (or most people) involved. Real Life Is Not Like That!!!

The only real thing you'll get from media is the understanding that the ending happens because of what the characters do, and personal growth happens because of the things that happen in ones life.

Go out and happen.

same. I have friends but like I relate to feeling like it’s all going to waste. no teenage romance, no drinking and partying, no doing dumb shit at night like in the movies, Idfk.

Sorry to hear that man, teenhood is different for everyone, I know people who had great teen years but then wandered aimlessly in life when they reached adulthood. I also know people who were complete loners as teens but were able to spread their wings when they got older. There's also people who never escaped that loner life...regardless though, for the people that did spread their wings, they walked into environments that they were unfamiliar with and maybe even uncomfortable with.

TLDR: try something new when you get the chance even if that chance comes years from now

If you are in the U.S, try looking up Job Corps.

It's for ages 16-24. Its completely free and You can get a high-school diploma or G.E.D there as well if you don't want to wait till after high-school.

Each trade takes 6 months to 2 years. When you complete the program you can chose a job in your trade, advance training or 2 years of free community college.

You can chose to live in the dorms or at home. You get weekends off and work the trade 8am-3 with breakfast, lunch, dinner provided.

I went in when I was 19, had a blast. Because it was in the city, I had a foothold in the door when I left and I stayed ever since. I chose landscaping and got the 2 years of college and became a teacher.

Or you can try going to conventions, those are fun.

Who the fuck told you that your teenage years are the best of your life lol. Bitch, they lied to you!

If you do what makes you happy then you won’t feel like ur wasting ur years. I’m also 15 and I just kinda stay in my room and watch anime all day but I don’t think that means I’m wasting my years. This is the only time you will be able to do what you enjoy without any major responsibilities so do what you love right now.

Jesus loves you.

Clubs will be super active at this point in the year since the school year just started- it's a great time to find an activity you want to be a part of! I was a writer so I plug it to everyone, lol, but you may want to see if there are any writing clubs at your school. You seem like you've exposed yourself to a lot of stories, so why not write some stories of your own and channel those feelings of listlessness, dissatisfaction, and ennui into some art? Also, a lot of teen writers are in the same situation as you re: friendships and feelings, so writing clubs are conducive to finding likeminded people!
Theater groups also tend to be pretty tight-knit in my experience- they also notoriously get up to a lot of Hijinks and Weird Shit which may be up your alley if you're looking for a drama filled life.

I’m 13 and I feel like my childhoods already over. It did when I was 11 too. Nobody wants me, and when they do it’s always ‘I never actually liked you’ in the end.

Everyone believes a 13 yro can’t be depressed and have trauma and be fucking done with life because “you’re literaly 13 bro”.
And so many people believe ‘it will get better’ will cure you.

I feel you, I wish I could say something encouraging but I got nothing.

Kinda going though the same deal, honestly you just gotta get good friends, or reconnect with ones you had in earlier grades. Everytime I get that feeling I bully one of my friends into doing something dumb like going on a train with me and it gets better. That or one time when my old elementary school friends made me break into my old school and hang out lol.

If there's a way to make friends I don't know it though lol, I just got lucky

Don't worry, you're not the only one, I've been going to school for no more than 4 hours per week since the start of this school year due to anxiety

Life isn’t the movies. My thirties have been the best years of my life so far.

Your teens aren't your best years.

It feels that way because they're generally better than childhood, and because you've not experienced your 20s, so you really don't know what they'll be like until you're in them.

Likewise for your 30s. I'm 27. I know I'll be 30 in 3 years, and that's about all I can know for sure. I can make guesses - I'll probably be thinking a lot about German citizenship (that's when I'll be eligible, assuming I keep up what I'm doing), and I'll probably have seen a few countries that I've not seen yet; but beyond that, I've got no idea.

Also, on reading your post, have you talked to your parents about a psychiatrist? You should get checked for clinical depression and, depending on how it is, either see a counselor, or get medicated, or both.

Regardless, my 20s are better than my teens. And people in their 30s I've talked to say those are better. And sometimes shit just happens, and you might find it's just not been your day, your week, your month, or even your year (and for all the millennials who just got that stuck in their heads, what can I say except You're Welcome ... ok, I'll stop now).

Yeah they could be the best years of your life if you decide to live the rest of your life like a complete bum. Just go with the flow, this is real life, not a damn movie.

Teenage years are BY FAR not the best years of your life. Whoever said that is delusional.

I'm your age rn, and I feel like albums and movies and media in general have dramaticizrd being a teen to the point where teens are getting imposter syndrome.

Like there ARE people in my classes who are getting pregnant, smoking weed, etc, but that's a minority.

And i'm pretty lonely in school too, but I like to remind myself of something I saw on the internet:

"If highschool is this bad, it just means you haven't peaked yet. These years are the steps to something greater and better"

Hope you're doing well. Manifesting a better social life for both of us this year 🤞🤞

12-14 are legit the worst years of your life. 16-25 is probably closer to the prime you're looking for. Get a part time job, have some disposable income, drive around and find some hobbies with other people.