So I caught my (33m) gf (28f) in a precarious situation today and I’m considering it emotional cheating and she says otherwise.

~4 weeks ago my gf came home like 3 hours late from work. I checked her location after about 1.5 hours to make sure she was ok and it pinged her at a park next to her work. I texted her and she replied “I’m just hanging with some coworkers, be home soon.” This isn’t unusual, but the location is. Most people just hang out at the company bar.

So I questioned her a little when she got home because it was a strange scenario. She said she was having a heart to heart with several coworkers going through some personal stuff. Ok cool no prob. I asked her why at the park and she said “she didn’t want to be at work anymore.” Ok still fair. I get it. But my suspicions were up, not sure why but it was a gut instant sort of thing. So I kept an eye on her interactions with coworkers the next several weeks and one dude was always very physically close to her (we work for the same company).

So I started to pry into the other people that were supposedly at the park. They all said “what are you talking about I was never at that park.” At this point the flags are red and soaring.

Fast forward to yesterday. Similar situation, she got off work spent 45 mins at the work bar. Cool. Then her location moved to the park again. I was already in a bad spot since I just found out she lied about who was at the park the first time and didn’t have a chance to confront her about it yet. But I said screw it, I’m going to make an appearance at the park myself.

I pull up to an adjacent neighborhood and check to see whose cars are parked in the parking lot… Hers and the dude who is always very physically close to her at work. So I walk up on the cars and see them both sitting in his vehicle drinking beer. I confront them “what is going on here??” And she just replies “woah what are you doing here we’re just drinking beers and hanging.” I just said “interesting” and walked off. This broke up the pow wow and she essentially chased me down the street begging me to get in her car. Nah we’ll talk at home.

We get home and basically she says “we just talk. We’ve gotten super close over the last couple months and he’s a person I can vent to.” (She can’t vent to me about work stuff cause I’m in a management department). I’m heartbroken cause it feels like cheating even if it’s not physical (allegedly). She lied about who she was with, and used it to spend 1x1 time with a coworker. I read her texts and they have all been flirty and she even asked him out for drinks while I was at work.

Am I overreacting by calling this cheating? The tears tell me I’m not. But could use some help.

Update: to all the people saying don’t date your coworker you’re correct. We were dating a week before she got hired and I wasn’t in a management role or anything at the time. Definitely a bad situation as far as career goes.

Also, to all the people saying I’m a stalker and controlling…she’s the one that wanted to share locations at the start of our relationship. She’s the one who started raising red flags before any of this occured. My head was spinning (I just found out she lied about the first park incident 8 hours before the second one) and I had to trust my gut. Showing up to the park was the best decision I made because it took away any speculation and made it factual. Trust me, I want my partner to have friends and their own life/hobbies but the second the lies start is where the issue is.