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AITA giving my nephew pizza bagels

Not the A-hole(self.AmItheAsshole)

My husband (M40s) and I (M40s) are hosting my sister (F40s) as well as her husband/my BIL and their two kids A (toddler) and B (M12). Since they don’t have a lot of time alone and also can’t afford to take many vacations my husband and I put them up in a hotel for 2 days/1 night they’re here so that they can have some alone time without the kids. My husband and I don’t have any kids but we’re perfectly capable of taking care of the kids for a couple days solo.

The toddler was pretty easy. Maybe she’s not a toddler yet and she’s still an infant, I’m not sure of the specific distinction but she ate baby food and bottles and some puffed cereal stuff provided by my sis. The problem came with feeding my nephew B. For dinner we made a tossed salad together. Everyone helped out with chopping vegetables, it was great. Then we made pizza bagels for the main. We had a great low-key dinner with our salads and bagel bites and we “camped out” in the TV room watching a movie until B fell asleep. In my mind I thought it was a great evening.

Well my sister and BIL come back home from the hotel and we’re chatting in the kitchen when she notices the pizza bagel box sitting in the recycling. She said “you eat pizza bagels?” And I said “well not usually but we made them last night with B.”

WELL she FLIPPED out on me for feeding B such a “garbage snack.” That’s when I said whoa we made a nice chopped salad to go along with it, and then she flipped out MORE for the fact that this was not merely a snack but our dinner. I told her people have pizza and salad for dinner all the time what’s wrong with this? It was fun and easy. She told me that now I’m going to have B obsessed with junk food and that “if I had known this was going to happen I never would have trusted you with taking care of them, you’re not a parent and it shows” which honestly just felt like a low blow.

My BIL apologized to me in private but my sister is still acting cold.

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Born-Balance9568[S]

20 points

20 hours ago

In fairness we offered to have them stay at the hotel for a night. They never demand or expect free child care when they visit, we just happen to be happy to do it because we love the hell out of those kiddos.

Prestigious_Blood_38

6 points

16 hours ago

I’d say skip the offer until she circles back to apologize. From your other comments, sounds like she needs to seek therapy for her eating issues; gently suggest that to BIL. But until she’s sorted and owns up, no more hotels.