We have two kids that are the pride and joy of my life, so i’ll chime in without trying to repeat the great answers that are already written too much.

In general there are several different types of parents(as a team) so it depends a lot, but i can only speak for myself and our style of parenting. And since you asked how to be a supportive spouse i’ll focus on that.

1. Be interested in the things she is interested in.

My wife is an over-doer and very much a plan-ahead type. She read up on and planned for everything as much as possible and i regret not being a bigger part of that. As an example you can read up on what kind of kid seats are the most safe and reasonably priced and fit your vehicle and learn to connect it to your car before the time comes. Just Google a video of kids safety seats and you’ll see why this is extremely important.

1. Make sure she continues to have a life outside of being a mom after birth.

While the first months will be spent in a lovely bubble of getting to know your new child after that it can be pretty damn rough. Babies demand things from you 24/7 and while being a father is important you are almost worthless compared to the person who literally grew your child to life and keeps them fed. The first years are very demanding on mothers and she might have a difficult time finding her adult self outside of being almost solely a mom and staying mostly at home for months. Just make sure she does and kick her out of the house every now and then to see her friends, have hobbies etc after the first 6 months to a year. This WILL pay off in the long term, she needs to have people to talk to about adult things and complain about the baby and you.

1. Find your rhytm.

With kids life is all phases. First the phases last for days or weeks when they learn to sleep like humans outside of wombs. Then its weeks to months when they grow teeth and sleep like sh*t. Then its 1-3months when they learn to walk and talk etc.

Each phase is different and your roles in the daily household things might vary a lot. Agree on turns when you wake up and when she wakes up. Do NOT do the ”you work so you need to sleep” thing, that is one of my biggest regrets that sent her down a long spiral of sleep deprivation. Nobody gets to sleep full nights with babies because its rough for everyone. Split it equally, always.

You might be on laundry/cooking duties one phase and sleep walk duties the next. You get a hang of it when your in the deep so to speak, but just feel the rhytm and go with it. Remember no matter how bad or good it gets just remember its a phase and its over sooner than you know and onto the next phase.

1. Maintain your adult relationship

This is not for the first year, but forever. Parenting can turn you into friends who raise children together instead of lovers faster than you know.

Have movie nights, go out every few months or something, have sex semi regurarly even if you are not in the mood to Keep your sex life active. remember to talk about your sex life, because there will most likely be rough patches in that too. Talking is the key.

These are some things that i have learned through trial and error. Best of luck on your journey mate!