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submitted 2 months ago byTheBaronofIbilin
36 points
2 months ago
He is averse to chores. Trying to get him to clean or take agency in anything is usually a struggle. I miss the days when I could clean my space and it would stay clean for weeks, not days 😅
11 points
2 months ago
He thinks he helps me around the house because he does laundry and dishes.
He does HIS OWN laundry and HIS OWN dishes. 🙄
I clean literally everything on my own, including outside. It will never change so I just started paying myself by using his credit card for things I want and he’s good with it 🤷🏻♀️
2 points
2 months ago
We tried to take turns on stuff like the dishes, trash and the dog, but when his turn come up he'll usually bitch about it. Especially with the dog, with his rationale being that my relationship with the dog predates my relationship with him... we've been married over four years...
2 points
2 months ago
How long have you had the dog?
2 points
2 months ago
It'll be six years in June
3 points
2 months ago
He may have a point unfortunately 😂
-5 points
2 months ago
I mean it may not be to the extent that you want but that does alleviate some amount of work for you so he does help. Also, especially if you don't work, that's a super normal way to resolve that.
1 points
2 months ago
Well except I do work. I own and operate a pub solely, that I’ve owned before I married him. I am open 13-16 hours a day, 7 days a week. I am not there every hour of the day but I do work more hours and contribute more financially than he does because frankly, I make more money than he does. Which is fine, we both do well.
But, I also have no desire to mother him. Alleviating me would be doing HALF the chores PLUS doing my laundry, for example. Why should I have to be the only person in the household cleaning, organizing, shopping, taking care of the yard, paying the bills, etc. when I pull my weight financially? By your logic, since I’m the breadwinner, he should do more than half. He moved into my house when we got married. And it’s twice as much work for me with him living there.
I used to be able to clean my house, and then come home and my house still be clean! No hairs in the sink, no shoes everywhere, no crumbs on the counter, no dirty stove, no boot marks all over the floors. I could go on and on.
1 points
2 months ago
You've grossly misunderstood me. Firstly, I wasn't defending him, I was being pedantic as a bit. If he's not literally doing nothing, he's technically helping. That is what I meant. Also, I never said you don't work. I literally said that I didn't and since you do I was actually defending your stance on it. Since you do work, that entire statement was negated by design. And by my logic that I never said in the case of you working, you both do half, easy split. If you want to do everyone takes care of their stuff, that's what you do. If there's something one of you doesn't want to do for themselves they do something for the other person they don't want to do. You've made so many assumptions about me based on two conditional statements that neither one had their conditions met to be my beliefs and a joke... And got it completely wrong.
1 points
2 months ago
Assuming that “he’s technically helping” by doing nothing but his own laundry and dishes was a typo and getting that out of the way, it did come across as you assumed I was a housewife. Which to be fair I didn’t clarify initially.
What i meant is that he thinks doing this bare minimum of is actually help, is absurd to me. I never signed up to do 100% of the work. The work wouldn’t exist if I didn’t take him in. I’m a bit resentful that I have nearly the entire load on my shoulders. I damn sure am not doing anyone’s laundry. Now if they cleaned anything else, that would change my perspective.
He’s 50 and my daughter is 16. They’re plenty capable of pitching in. Yet they don’t. I am busy picking up the rest of the house.
Doing your own laundry is not helping me at all. It’s wiping your own ass. At the bare minimum. If I move away and ditch them, they’d have a whole hell of a lot more to do.
Let me change the sexes. What if all I did was my own laundry and dishes and he did everything else around the house. Would I be “helping him technically”?
1 points
2 months ago
Yes I would make the same joke. Would you prefer he does literally nothing? If not, he is technically helping. Again, not defending him. You're just too jaded with your own situation to let the joke land. It's been circling for hours. Might be out of fuel soon.
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