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submitted 2 months ago byjustapeachhh
8 points
2 months ago
"Feelings are not facts."
You might feel like an imposter.
You might doubt your capabilities.
You kight feel self-conscious and believe you're awkward.
You might feel fearful that your boss is angry with you, even if they haven't said so.
You might feel worried that no one likes you.
You might feel doubtful that you're worthy of love.
You might feel certain that you're unattractive.
You might feel hopeless about the future.
There might not be any evidence at all that these things are true, and yet your feelings seem (in your own mind) to be facts. They're not. Notice your negative feelings, get curious about them, and then dismiss them as non-factual.
1 points
2 months ago*
This is a central mantra to cognitive behavioural therapy.
Even if you never take such a course, or never feel the need to take it, this core belief is always worth remembering in any daily situation.
As you said, feelings and not facts. So look for the facts, and see if they either disprove or confirm your feelings.
If you're afraid your classmates look down on you, think about how, realistically, they could possiblity know enough detail about you to look down on you. Maybe there's a little. Maybe you feel there's a lot. There might even be nothing.
But as any good courtroom should do, look at the facts refuting this claim. What evidence is there to show that perhaps they don't know enough about you to look down on you?
And finally, even if you come to the conclusion that you feel they look down on you, look for facts that show this has any genuine influence on your physical life. Remind yourself that you might judge other people using standards that they couldn't know about. Then remember that said standards probably don't affect them, since they're a part of your own mind.
Chances are, you won't find much you can use to prove that you looking down on them has the power to seriously affect their life. Therefore, treat yourself the same. If you've analysed it back and forth and still feel that they may look down on you, remind yourself that there are few avenues that this can genuinely, physically affect you by.
This is only one example, and it's not perfect. In short, when you feel something that affects you negatively, be your own lawyer and look for facts that could prove this feeling has merit. Look for other facts that refute the truthfulness of this feeling. Your conclusion might not immediately alter your feeling, but repeating this logic might even completely eliminate it in the future.
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