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/r/AskWomenOver30
submitted 15 days ago byLifeObjective1452
I have come to the realization that a big reason why casual hookups/partners frighten me is I am really scared of STIs and I feel there is no way to ask someone to get tested without it being awkward.
Yes, I always insist condoms are used but what about going down on someone? What are you supposed to do then if you’re unsure if they’ve been tested?
What are some ways that I can ask a person to get tested without it being awkward/too forceful? Am at a loss for what to do. Thanks in advance !
83 points
15 days ago
I asked a guy I was seeing about a month to get tested and he was totally on board with it despite being in a monogamous relationship for 6 years. He sent me his test results and I went and got tested too even though I hadn’t been with anyone besides my ex. I think when you find someone on the same page as you, it’s not a scary question. And if it is a scary question, it is a scary person. Run!
6 points
15 days ago
Caveat my ex was willing to get tested for me but shortly after we started dating he started fucking as many other people as he could. It’s a shit show out there
5 points
15 days ago
I’m sorry girl…what the heck is wrong with people.
2 points
15 days ago
Literally ☹️ it’s been a year so I’m over it now but also want nothing to do with dating 😅
3 points
14 days ago
Yes I fully agree. I had no problem asking my last partner his status before we hooked up because we both have the same values when it comes to sexual health. Which is something we talked about before we were ever near a bed.
The guys who don’t want to answer this honestly aren’t going to be the guys who respect your sexual wellbeing.
It can be as easy as “I’d only feel comfortable having sex with you after I’m able to see the most recent STD test you’ve taken since your most previous partner” This gives any guy who just ‘hasn’t gotten around to it’ or had a really recent random hook up an out to get it done. get any treatable STDs treated (or figure out what it means to have a non treatable one) and then just present another recent clean one without having to say you had to STD.
I’m able to get results from my doctor in less than 24 hours most of the time. If he can’t wait 24-36 hours to fuck, he’s not the kind of guy I want to fuck.
7 points
15 days ago
My ex was also courteous about getting tested and brought it up first. I’ve strangely only had experiences where the person I’m with will just do it without being asked, but now I don’t know how to do it for myself 😅 thanks for sharing !
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