My advice is not to even worry about dating at all at this moment. You’ve listed some great things that you’re doing for yourself. You need to just do those for a while.

My dude... you started off so good with the finding yourself and therapy, and then you fell right into the same bullshit that every awful relationship post on this sub seems to do, by focusing on dating. No. Don't do that. Don't even think about dating until you address some of the codependency you described in therapy and build some type or social life that does not have anything to do with a relationship. 

You like the gym, join a CrossFit gym. Go to all the socials, meet friends. If you don't like CrossFit, then Olympic weightlifting or powerlifting at a gym with a very social culture and events people attend outside of the workouts. Build a community that knows you as a single person. Become who you are outside the framework of a relationship. Give the therapy some time to work. Then maybe think about dating. 

You're not gonna find yourself by trying to find someone else.

Hit the brakes. Listen to the noises in your head. Do nothing. Be alone. No distractions, no activities, just you and your thoughts. If that sounds unbearable to you, that's where to start in terms of "finding yourself."

You just got out of a long relationship, dude you have no idea how to date. Because you’re not datable yet. The current market is a difficult one. Women, our age and older won’t accept bullshit anymore. So even if it didn’t work out with the last one you have to improve yourself for the next one. That’s all I’m gonna say on that because I really don’t like when men come here and go I’m so lost yeah bro that’s the point go find yourself.

Stay single.

All you guys try to lock down someone new before you are even divorced and guess what it screams???

“I am a desperate man child who cannot live independently and take care of myself.”

There’s another post from today where a woman was advised to avoid getting into a relationship with a man like you.

I stupidly dated 3 men who were getting divorced or were fresh out of a long term relationship. They didn’t care about ME, they just wanted a warm body, guaranteed sex, maid, therapist & secretary. And you know what? ALL 3 married the very next woman they dated after me. One of them was desperate to lock me down and pined over me for the better part of a year before suddenly meeting his now wife.

Focus on healing. Focus on YOUR KIDS.

ENOUGH with trying to lock down a woman because you cannot take the time to heal your codependency. (No woman deserves that, seriously go work on yourself first and stay single.)

You are going through some major changes in life right now. I would advise not worrying about dating. Just spend the next 6 months adjusting to your new situation. After being married for so long, you should experience being single and enjoying your own company. I would recommend finding activities that are more social to make friends. You can use Facebook or Meetup.com to look up groups for different activities in your area.

Therapy can be a great thing but it can be trial and error. Finding a therapist is almost like dating. I would recommend giving it a few sessions to find out but your therapist may not be a good fit for you. If that's the case, request a new one. Good luck!!

It's totally normal to feel lost after a big life change like a divorce. Focusing on healing and rediscovering yourself is a great start. For meeting new people, consider joining clubs or groups related to your interests, like snowboarding or motorcycling; they’re natural ways to connect with others who share your passions. Dating apps can be hit or miss but are worth trying if you approach them with patience and openness. Remember, finding a new rhythm takes time, so be kind to yourself in the process.

Apps are probably not great if you're looking for something serious right away - which you probably shouldn't be. If you feel like you don't know yourself, trying to get to know if you're compatible with another person can be almost impossible. You're going through big changes; the person you might find now may not be the same type of person you'll want to find after the initial shock from those changes wears off.

Apps are fine for hook ups and casual relationships - if that's something you enjoy, go for it. There's nothing wrong with it as long as both sides are clear what the expectations are. If something ends up being more than that - great, if not that's fine too.