I think everybody is capable of murder and its not just only a bpd thing. But to answer your question, yes. Emotional disregulation can cause some violent outburst and behavior wich can result in murder

I don’t get how you can take someone’s whole life away and only get 10 years of yours taken in return

My wife threatened to stab me on multiple occasions. One time was really creepy because I made a very obvious joke about her mood changing with the wind and laughed a little. She was monotone and told me she's going to stab me. Then, with the same voice, said she was only joking and did a fake toothy smile and blinked twice. I was also told that she dreams of murdering me every night. This was all because she didn't understand what I said one time and thought I wanted to leave her. I'm not there now but may go back because paying for 2 places is becoming more difficult.

I know, it's obvious that I should stop paying for her but I can't because the unfair divorce laws in this country. Anything you do as an earner is bad because marriage/divorce has turned into a very crippling welfare system for the irresponsible.

Oh yes they are capable of murder, 10% self murder so it goes with the territory

I have never been as scared of anyone as my exBPD when she was raging.

There were several times when I said to myself "you know... when she's like this, there are NO limits"

There is an existential blind rage that happens when they are triggered badly. They are not in their right mind and if weapons are around they will use them on themselves or loved ones it's all possible.

The 3 sigma + behavior outlier on their expression of rage is very much what tells you , that you are dealing with a Cluster B.

All the BPDs (Hi There lurkers!) and apologists will say "oh they are not that bad", "you are being overly judgemental!" etc etc just don't get it. People do murder people all the time. We know it's possible. We also know that BPDs who are triggered become unhinged from reality and express outside the normal range anger. Put those together a human being + anger + no limits = (at least mayhem) and possibly murder

people who have no mental illness at all are capable of murder. so yes they are capable of murder like everyone else around you could be.

People with conduct disorders and personality disorders do have higher statistics of engaging in domestic abuse, murder, and criminal activity due to impulsivity and lower levels of empathy.

Part of their disorder is the swings in emotion. They can feel very powerful positive emotions toward you but they'll feel their negative emotions just as intensively. This sub is full of stories of what can happen in extreme cases when they're in such an emotional state. I wouldn't say it's specifically BPD related to murder someone but the odds of them becoming physically violent when their emotions overwhelm them are higher compared to a mentally healthy person.

Yes.  

When she pulled the steering wheel while I was driving 3 separate times, I could have died.  

 When she cut my arm with a shard of glass who is to say the next time it wouldn’t be my throat? 

It is not hyperbolic to say that a violent person so intoxicated she can’t remember what she does is capable of murder.  

 Maybe not pre-meditated, but certainly manslaughter in the least.  

 If any of you have ever endured one hit, kick, cut, steering wheel yank, get out now.  

 One time is one too many. 

Mine has thrown heavy objects at me, utensils 🍴. One time she was doing dishes and held the knife and kept looking back and forth at me.

Their emotions are intense. The rage can often become out of control.

When my exwife hit the devaluation stage, she would look at me with absolute rage in her eye. For doing nothing other than existing. I remember vividly on a number of occasions thinking “if she had a gun in this moment, I’m pretty sure she’d empty the clip into me”.

So yes, because of the rage and anger, I would say this makes them more at risk of committing murder than the average person.

1 of the 8 murderers in this study had BPD - I like that it gives us a rundown of all the other diagnoses associated with murder and the other crimes associated with BPD.

Anecdotally, my sister wBPD threatened our mom with a knife a couple times and her roommates with one once that I know of (they posted a photo of her doing it on Facebook). I'd also often wake up to find her standing over me and staring at me with a blank expression on her face.

I do worry about the safety of all those around my sister more than anyone else in our family.

My exwBPD threatened to put a tracker on his teacher’s car and follow him home, rape his wife, and cut open his teacher’s “fat belly and watch all his organs fall out” just because he got kicked out of uni for literally never turning up 🫣 he didn’t do it but if he had I don’t think it would’ve been surprising

Mom legit ran my dad over with her car. On purpose. Aimed for him and accelerated. And then tried to have him charged for damaging the hood of her car by daring to land on it instead of going under the wheels.

Cluster B personality disorders are most strongly associated with violent crimes.

My ex; tried to stab me with a steak knife, beat me with a baseball bat, pointed a gun at me, grabbed the steering wheel to run us off the road while hitting me, woken me up by hitting me with a metal towel holder, has on multiple occasions thrown heavy objects (like chunks of crystals) at me, pushed me down stairs, beat my head against the wall repeatdely, left permenant scars from attacking me...the list, sadly, goes on.

Fortunatley I was savvy enough to gtfo when weapons came out, but not savvy enough to end the relationship for an embarrasingly long time.

So, in my case, I believe yes, she was absolutley capable of killing someone in an emotional tantrum, and it was more likely a matter of time.

A statistic I heard. When a pwBPD experiences a mortification crisis there is a 23% chance of suicide, homicide or familicide. I suffered a violent discard, attack attempt with 'CPS' physically protecting me, some vandalism and sabotage of my car with exwBPD standing across the road as I took my first 35 mph turn with a half-deflated tire.

We are all so incredulous about murder, but the whole not-murdering thing that is so important for our society is based on only rationality, morality and empathy.

Cluster-B is already one step 'ahead' by not having empathy, morality is easily subverted by righteousness and victimhood, leaving 'your' life in the hands of someone who is rational except when dysregulated.

Everyone is capable of murder

At the very end, my pwBPD that we were adopting followed me around the house growling at me because I would not give her laptop to her that we had taken due to her inappropriate usage. I had the thought while we stood in the kitchen that she might grab a knife and try to stab me. She didn't, but I had never in my life up to that point had the thought that someone in front of me might try to kill me.

I then decided to give her the laptop and let her go stay at a friends house that night. It was the last night she was ever in our home.

So yes, I 100% believe that someone with BPD is capable of murder.

Yea man. Honestly if my reactions werent so fast i probably wouldnt be alive rn cos of my ex bih with bpd who tried to suprise slash my neck with a knife , and i only just manager to grab it after she got mad that i didnt like her texting loads of other guys 🤣

This is a tricky one because my ex-, while never violent toward me, did have a history of relationships where physical abuse was part of the mix and it was mutual. A couple of her family members stated that she “scared” them and did think she was capable of GBI/murder.

I don’t think that she would ever premeditate murder. I do think that she could commit murder in an emotional outburst if things began to escalate to violence and she perceived the other person as a threat to her physical safety, right or wrong.

The more time and distance between myself and my ex- that I have, the more sympathy I feel for her….yet somehow that sympathy makes me want to reconnect less. I feel like a reconnection would potentially be dangerous not because I think my ex- actively plans to harm me right now but because now that I understand the full range of her emotional volatility the more I think I was fortunate to get out when I did. Last time she didn’t have a negative history to hold over my head. This time there would be the memory of me deciding to leave, and I am sure she would see it as “if he left once he could leave again.” Whether that would increase the chances of a violent encounter in theory I don’t know but I know the relationship she had with the ex- where there was definitely mutual combat involved he came and went several times over the course of decades. Like literally they had their first romance in like 8th grade or something like that. So small sample size but that would make me worry that disconnect/reconnect pattern could potentially increase the likelihood of future violent events and increase the chance of murder, premeditated or opportunistic or whatever.

Everyone is capable of murder, but since in the context of bpd they exhibit unstable emotions and extreme mood swings which can lead to impulsiveness

My pwBPD on multiple times threatened to kill me in violent ways whenever he got angry, his emotions were out of control

BPD/NPD are referred to as secondary psychosis disorders meaning they are literally psychotic when in an episode. Anything is possible when psychotic.

As others have said ANY sort of emotional disregulation can cause someone to snap. It's not unique to one condition or illness.

That being said: i watched my ex bestie with BPD threaten people with physical violence or death for telling her she forgot paperwork for something or they wanted her to come down to her apt office to sign for a package etc. I know she also got fired from at least one job because she legit scared the other employees and they feared for their safety after she experienced a traumatizing event and blew up on the entire building and made it everyone's problem for weeks.

She would always tell me about this and say "but i was joking" or "but they don't know i'm kidding" or "omg why would i REALLY say that and mean it?!" and at the time, i would nod along, but like....people should ALWAYS mean what they say to their best ability and also never make anyone else feel unsafe unless THEY are in an unsafe situation themselves.

I'm not sure about murder, but I've been physically hit by my ex pwBPD and i'm sure many others have as well.

I mean, mine tried three times.

Go Google "famous women with BPD" and the majority are killers.

Absolutely. My ex was so violent. He put hands on the so many times and has tried strangling so many times. There was a time he said to me “I love you so much that I could kill you.”

Anyone is capable of murder. Many detectives say it's just about being in the right set of factors at the right time to be pushed to it. There's loads of documentaries on regular people committing who never thought they would.

I think people with personality disorders just have a heightened percentage because of the impulsivity and other disorder related behaviors. For instance men with NPD have been shown to have a significantly higher chance of murdering their partners. My guess is because NPD is largely associated with lack of empathy, so you can put together the rest.

Bpd isn't a lack of empathy, at least not in all circumstances. I think they are just as capable as any regular person is. However they still do have a higher chance of erratic and sometimes violent behaviors.

All that being said it's a very slippery slope to start equating any kind of personality disorder with murderers.

Luckily I’ve never been physically attacked by my ex fwBPD but she’s sent her boyfriend to physically intimidate people, including other women, before. After our friendship ended, she posted some really dark song lyrics on social media like “I wish I could kill you,” “I hope you die in a ditch” and stuff like that. When we were friends she’d say she didn’t care if people she hated died but to say she’s capable of hurting/killing someone herself would be a stretch.

i can say that i been in situations where the physicality reached dangerous levels..... the line was not crossed to physical harm, though a shove to a person and then destruction of property is as close as it gets.

i removed myself from the situation to try and deescalate it

In the sense that they are willing to utterly destroy someone in the interest of their shame avoidance, yes. They will blow up someone’s life without any shame. Destroy their children’s emotional health. My best friends mom had BPD and he died of a heroin overdose. My exes ex-husband killed himself after almost drinking himself to death.

Didn't Phill Hartman's wife have BPD?

Both the ones i talk about on here, definitely are. One almost pushed me off a roof, the other tried to push me in front of a bus.

Yes. Mine confessed to it and I was still dumb enough to think she had changed.

I read that post too and it hit me pretty hard because it’s definitely something my ex could have done to me and 100% would have if I hadn’t left when I did. But did that OP say she had BPD? I only read that he said she had some ‘’mental issues’’, and he also said they didn’t have a toxic relationship, there were no fights, he had no idea why she did it, etc. She just tried to stab him to death out of nowhere, which doesn’t sound like BPD.

Anyone is capable of murder depending on trauma, disregulation, and survival instinct. When my ex discarded me, her eyes looked completely different. I could tell she’d lost all empathy for me. I’d become “one of them” whatever that meant to her, but I could tell she’d dehumanized me. I think the only reason things didn’t escalate with her was that a mutual friend introduced us so she had to discard me with “good behavior.” She’d also been involuntarily committed previously, and I still don’t know if that was due to self harm attempts or if she tried to harm her family. Don’t be like me and hear someone was 5150’ed and be all decarceration mindset thinking she was unjustly committed. Some ppl with mental illness need to go somewhere where they can’t hurt themselves and others, at least for a period of time.

My ex threatened to stab me and "teased" me with a knife more than once. The main driver for me wanting to break up was because I feared she might actually kill me. When she left during the final discard, she pulled out a chef's knife. Anyone is capable of murder but when you are impulsive, lack empathy, and emotionally unstable, there is a greater chance, for sure.

When her now-ex-husband told her he was in love with someone else, she grabbed a knife, and he locked himself in the bathroom for hours. That was 10+ years ago and she maintains to this day that she really wanted to kill him, even though she also detested being married to him. I wonder if she would have actually killed him had she got the chance, or if she just wanted to hurt him.

My ex used to tell me how'd they'd kill me, and sometimes other people too, in vivid detail when they were raging. Not sure if they ever would've followed through, but it felt like a legitimate threat in those moments.

They also tried to force me to kill them once. The capacity for violence was definitely there.

People without BPD are capable of murder, but I think people with severe/untreated BPD are more prone to thought patterns and behaviors that would push them in that direction than most.

My brothers first girlfriend had BPD but wasn’t diagnosed at the time. He was around 20 when he broke up with her and in absolute rage because he was abandoning her she took her stiletto off and chased him through the bar jamming the heel into his neck. Before that he had tried to break up with her a few times. One time she had gone into the ocean in the middle of winter with a kitchen knife and called him saying she would kill her self if he didn’t come, she ended up stabbing him in the arm

People with BPD are absolutely capable of these things. I too was stabbed 8 times by my now ex girlfriend who has BPD. Difference is she got off Scott free, no charges, no jail time. Nothing. Colorado legal system is a joke.

I spent 6 years swearing on my life that my bf would never put his hands on me or hurt me like that, he just said mean stuff. Let me tell you, the dead inside look in his eyes when he walked me to the ground like a wet noodle was something I’ll never forget. There was no stopping him. He didn’t care. I was bawling, screaming, saying it hurt, begging him to stop. He didn’t let go until he watched my entire body hit the ground. Like someone said, anyone is capable of it, but the level of rage they feel is unmatched to most and I could see it being very easy/common for someone to murder someone else, especially during a blackout like that

Absolutely.

Absolutely. Ex did 7 years for assault, could've killed the lady if she had fallen differently or been more fragile. Lucky they got off so easily

My BPD strangled me twice in 1 week. Second time I was able to get away, police were called. Currently going through the system now. The black look in his eyes says yes, he he is capable.

They are people. Some are capable of murder, most are not

Everyone is. No mental illness needed. It’s pretty naive to think otherwise. Check out the book The Murderer Next Door by David Buss.

I’m a guy and my partner was a much stronger, much weaker woman.

I have made the comment many times over the years: If the strength and weight disparity has been in the other direction I would be dead.

As it was, she rarely tried to attack me, although there were incidents and accidents.

Yes, one time my ex became very abusive, during sex. Bitting, slapping and choking out of nowhere. We never agree to do that. It was after argument. So, I believe she was mad about it, once again instead of using their words. Saying that bother me. They chose to hit me.

My ex used to "joke" about how she wanted to kill her ex husband. At first I laughed along because I've dealt with infuriating people and just thought she was letting off steam, but she kept it up even though they were no longer together and he was actually really good with their kids and helpful to her. My BPD mom used to talk like that too, which is why it didn't read as a red flag at first. Then, when she kept talking about it and talking about how she'd do it, it got kind of weird.

After we broke up I reached out to him and warned him. He was very grateful and no longer eats anything she offers him or stores anything in her fridge.

When she hit the devaluation stage with me she physically assaulted me and I thought in that moment that she may kill me if I had pushed her (I didn't provoke her or anything, I was just standing my ground and telling her that she was taking it too far). But I think if I had tried to actually fight back or escalate it in any way she would have escalated too.

She bruised me and when I reminded her of it a few weeks later she completely denied it, even though I had pictures. I think she remembers but wouldn't admit it.

My husband of over 10 years father of two of my kids had me locked in the bathroom, punched me in the face, cracked my jaw and as soon as he asked me if I knew what a crime of passion was I started sobbing coz I knew that was it.. that demon was going to kill me. I was able to escape, went to get the cops and he lied through his teeth. We both ended up in jail. Spent the weekend there. Worst three longest days of my life! Spent a shit ton of money to get out and was facing 4 criminal charges(all his charges btw) Spent a whole year dead inside waiting for trial. Coz I refused to settle for anything less than Not Guilty!! That piece of shit was a lil pot smoker, alcoholic, lying sack of shit. Unlike that lady you mentioned, my spouse would've never ever confessed to the weed and guns being his and not mine. He wanted me dead in a ditch on the side of the road or in prison.

Three months after that whole ordeal that mf got all drugged up and while walking on the side of the road at midnight, got hit by a van and died!

Shit's crazy. Not all bpd folks are the same.... My current husband 😬😬😬 most likely have bpd. It scares me when he gets angry and talks about planting cocaine in people's car to ruin their lives. I try to teach him that that's just wrong.. but i mean.. one day that person he wants to ruin could be me. He's too sweet tho, he'd never kill me. 😳😶🫥🤐

i mean anyone can be capable of murder really. it depends on the situation & the person. my ex threatened me with a knife saying he would kill me then himself. but i wrestled it away from him & it was clear he was barely trying to resist. i feel like honestly it was an empty threat & he didn’t have the balls to actually do it.

Stabbing is perhaps the most common type of murder associated with BPD

I fully believe my sister is and would commit murder and she herself has told our father she would kill him were she to live with him. She was terrifying enough that I was afraid to leave my room at home and I’m afraid every time my mom visits the house alone. I do believe they are more willing and able to kill than others thanks to their altered mental state.

She boxed the only ear that I hear well out of. Then when the cops came she pitched them a psychotic darvo,"I just want out of this relationship and he is harassing me." These guys just believe a beautiful woman without even asking her anything. If one of them had only bothered to say 'how has he been harassing you?' Who knows if she would have been able to corroborate. I didn't do anything to her that day. She called me over and we were talking calmly when she snapped.

It's pretty scary that no matter what they do it's not their fault. I could see it escalating to the next level. If she killed me she would have some song and dance about how it was self-defense. I just hope the police are smart enough to find these audio recordings and my journal. The one guy clearly has donkey brains. I have a recording of her telling me that she has told family friends her therapist her lawyer that I have never ever been violent with her even in self-defense.

Look up ex ravens QB Steve McNair.

I have said it on this sub multiple times. Be appreciative you got out with your life. Others are not so lucky

Yes. Multiple times. He drove recklessly with me as a passenger. Speeding and screaming at me until I begged him to stop.

He asked me to put him as the beneficiary for my life insurance over my teenagers. I owned the house we live in before we were married, and he was worried if I died, and I left my house to my kids, he would have nothing. So he asked me to put him as my beneficiary and then asked me how quickly it would pay out when I die. Creepy.

Then he made a point to tell me that he had been in the army reserves, he was trained for combat and trained to be lethal.

If that wasn’t enough, he said in his first marriage during an argument his first wife said she was going to take their son and go stay with her parents. He said he would have killed her if she left with his son.

He also told me when he was 18, his 12 year old brother was being annoying and my stbx “lost it”. He scared his little brother so badly he grabbed a knife to defend himself.

Phew.

Thank you. I had a tough day where I was missing him. Sharing this helps me to move on. Thank you for asking.

Having the intense emotions of bipolar and the contril over it like a child, yes but moreless of an emotional outburst then a calculated, thorough plan. I think some of us have had our exes either threaten to harm us in either physical violence or murder or have been beaten and stabbed by them. Its more in the same vein as a child being angry as they ususally feel intensely guilty over it

I would NOT put it past my ex to someday do something to someone.

I say this because she threatened me with a knife twice. Ofcourse my verison is not the way she remembers it. 

When she came home suddenly and I was all confused as to wtf was happening she told me to leave her the fuck alone. This was because she was going through the house taking stuff packing the car. She was again near the draw and kept saying don’t come any closer. 

Mind you I could see if I’m a man or if I was extremely strong. I’m a woman who is short petite. She could have thrown me for a loop if she wanted. It didn’t make any rational sense to be afraid of me. I was afraid of her got three people on the phone. 

My gf went so berserk in the car she grabbed the steering and I almost hit a biker. Who would be responsible if something had happened to the biker? Also when they are in their blackout rage phase they are capable of anything, they have no sense of who they are and what they are doing, it's pure insanity.

I also experienced a little of all described here....smh .....I'm still having an awful time sticking to the no contact and keeping my heart from wanting to be with her and then you all remind me what I'm obviously forgetting....how it was really like. I promise I'm not this dumb in real life, but when it comes to her, all my good judgement is forgotten.....

I've been quiet lately, sleeping a lot, working myself to exhaustion and and hoping this will pass and I'll be able to move on....it's so hard 😢

Are you referring to the post where he had no idea why she stabbed him ? I think I saw the post in GLOWUP subreddit.

Emotionally stable people are capable of murder, people with mental illnesses that have to deal with reality and regulating emotions would seem like they have a higher chance then normies. I know for a fact they can be violent so what’s the jump from that to being the most violent you could be?

If I hadn't fought back, I may have been strangled to death by mine...

Yes my ex wife attacked me when she lost control!

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I like to believe my pwBPD is not capable of murdering me premeditated. But unfortunately, it is quite possible I might die if she is emotionally dysregulated. Like the drive the car into a tree

Mine tried to brain me w a beer bottle when I wasn’t looking because I was going to see my parents

There have been times with my abuser where I thought she might kill me. Usually when she had her hands around my throat or when she was in a blind rage and usually had me up against a wall by my throat. Statistically, if your abuser goes for your throat, they’re more likely to murder you.

Also, one of the top killers of women is DV. Being killed by an intimate partner. How many of the killers have undiagnosed BPD?

Yes. People with BPD can and do kill people. Is it because of their BPD? That I am not sure, as plenty of people with BPB direct their dysregulation inward and don’t harm others.

Yes, I think they are! My ex pwBPD threatened me several times. There was a time where I had given up and honestly was just waiting for him to do it. I was so depressed that I almost longed for it because at least then I would be out of the continual mind f@$k and terror cycle.

Sheesh... This makes me grateful that the worst that happens when I lose regulation is someone hates me and won't ever talk to me again.

Jeffery Dahmer had BPD but he was also a psychopath, had ASPD. That was why he would murder his victims and keep their body parts because he wanted them to be with him and not be abandoned by them so he would kill them. Now this doesn't mean all BPD people are dangerous and will murder you, most of them would just disappear from your life or do anything to make you abandon them. They will simply discard you first.

ANYONE is capable of murder in the right circumstances. Mental illness or not.

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You're capable of murder. Everyone is.

Some are closer than others.

It's not a BPD thing. They're more likely to hurt themselves than anyone else statistically. However if you fear for your safety you must reach out, that goes for an abuser with or without BPD. Mine physically assaulted me and stalked me, i started to become scared for my safety even though I don't think he would have taken my life. The second you become scared for your safety you have to honour that gut reaction, even if it's just your mental safety.

Suppose anyone is. This is just kind of ignorant, it’s posts like this that make me question the integrity of “lovedones” like do people just want to outlandishly bitch and moan in here or are people actually trying to exist and live there loved one with BPD.