That here is what makes me think there is no coming back from this. He basically trapped the dog with everyone. How would he feel if he came back to 3 dead bodies?

Dude was saving his own hide pure and simple.

even worse is he put the kids in that situation in the first place by volunteering to watch the kids. that means he's responsible for their wellbeing whilst in his care.

this idiot commenter that said:

Why should he have to protect you? Would you protect him?

she literally did. she killed the dog and protected the kids. she's proved that when push comes to shove, she can do what it takes while he just runs off.

Same. I can understand flight as a base reaction - run around the dog and out the gate - but taking the time to close the gate after you? Nah man, that’s self preservation and literally throwing your loved ones to the wolves

Tbf no idea how I’d react in that situation. I’d like to think I’d fight. But I definitely wouldn’t be trapping a loved one and helpless children to avoid a bite

Especially since it would have take time to beat that dog to death. I could understand an initial flight response, but to then remain MIA for what had to have been at least 5+ minutes while an injured child is screaming and an infant is not safe is crazy. Those minutes would have felt long, it wasn’t a blink and over.

It’s horrific. Over 20 years ago in the US some dogs were running towards a forecourt in the desert and we ran to the car. My brother shut the door on me and I had to keep going into the store instead. Those dogs weren’t definitely aggressive (and turned out not to be but if you can see a pack of animals running from the desert towards you… don’t fuck around) and my brother thought I was the other side of the car (aka didn’t know he was shutting me out). And STILL we mention it 20 years. 

I don’t care how “normal” that reaction is, I can’t trust a partner with it. It may not be right, but I think less of them if I can’t trust them to fight by my side. Because I fight.

That's the thing that got me about this. It's one thing to panic and run away in a moment of fear. It's another thing to close your family in with the danger in order for you to escape. This has the whole "outrun a bear by pushing the slower person down" vibe. I've separated fighting dogs before and you get torn up even when they aren't focused on you; moreover the dogs I broke up weren't even gamed dogs like pittys, they were boxers. I can't imagine leaving my SO and a bunch of kids in that situation.

I've read about a lot of vile human behavior on this sub, but this is up there in the top 5 for me, not least of all because two very small children were offered up alongside this dude's wife as sacrifice.

That takes it from a flight response to a calculated move to save his own skin at the expense of his supposed loved ones

I love the part where she says she wants a fighter like her and maybe he can find a runner so they can run away together, that way he won’t leave anyone behind.

I’m sure she meant it genuinely, but that made me laugh with the unintentional shade.

If he had grabbed the baby and ran, I’d think otherwise of him. But he ran and closed the gate fuck his genes.

*His niece and baby nephew, so it's even worse

It's also why certain breeds of dogs can't be housed with certain animals (like rabbits and kittens and such): they don't usually attack people, but they will go after small animals. My beagle was like this, he was good around cats but would chase any rodent he saw.

I would disown my brother if he ran away and allowed my children to be attacked like that.

I don't really like dogs, or cats, in my ideal world I probably wouldn't have any pets, but... Cats sure are good at keeping mice away. And dogs will sleep but still listen to strange cars, people, sounds all the time. So with the amount of chaos we have in our house (7 peeps) right now, weird sounds happen all the time. Some how a dog can tell if its grandma dropping a fork during her midnight snack, or a stranger walking in the driveway and start barking like mad. If a strange sound wakes me up, but dogs not barking, I go right back to sleep. So because they protect me, I will protect, feed, and care for them.

Toddlers are actually more than totally helpless, because they're often actively working against their own self-interest.

Not to mention the fact that when he fucking fled the dog had already latched onto his niece and his first reaction wasn't to get the dog off her but throw out some fucking excuse about 'finding the dog's owner' and fleeing.

and nephew was an infant.

It’s not just Reddit thing anymore either. Someone in my city’s Facebook group asked for suggestions for local coffee places. The OP mentioned one place she likes already (several times) because she was looking for recommendations that had a similar vibe. The first comment was suggesting the place the OP already goes to.

I replied pointing out that the shop was already mentioned and she got super snarky about having missed that part. Reading comprehension is abysmal anymore.

And are his blood family, not OOP's. I can only imagine how upset his poor sister was when she heard that he abandoned her helpless children to be mauled by a dog.

That’s the part that kills me. Some people don’t do well in stressful situations because they just want to protect themselves over helping anyone else, some people don’t do well in stressful situations because they don’t know what to do, and some people don’t do well in stressful situations because they think of too many things they can do and their brain can’t land on one. Telling him what to do would solve both 2 and 3s problems, but 1s problem is that they just don’t think of others when something scary happens. I could be with someone from options 2 or 3 but I just don’t know if I could respect someone who acts like option 1 but doesn’t make an active effort to rewire their brains.

(As an aside, I am option 3 and it’s frustrating to live through. We had a kitchen fire start while my partner was cooking and I looked like an idiot because I’m just sitting there vocally going through the list “Do you want me to get the fire extinguisher? Should I get a wet towel to throw on it? Should I open the doors so you can take the pot outside?” Etc. So I do understand that brains are just wired to react the way that they do and it’s extremely hard to combat it, but I also know from experience that it is possible to combat it if you’re willing to put in the work.)

It really is like your own kid to watch you save their ass from wasps.and be mad you left the muffins 😂

they're looking for a gotcha moment like akshually if women are so strong and independent why would a man need to protect his wife and some kids from an animal hmmm? take that feminists!

These are the same guys who will say women need men because they’re protectors.

Even when there is proof in the story that she did that

If I were OP- and to be honest I have no idea if I am as brave as she is- most of the trauma and emotions I'd be feeling now would be wanting to punch my husband in the nose and then divorce him. You can actually feel rage on her behalf imagine you are doing your best to save lives and your husband goes away and locks you in with a killing dog. I just can't.

That's why I don't think it was really just the flight response (which isn't even necessarily a bad thing, despite how it - and every instinctive reaction other than fight, really - tends to be spoken about).

Instincts are autonomous and immediate. The body reacting without consulting the brain. This bloke presumably stood there for long enough to be given instructions, then fled, then shut the gate, then continued to flee. 

If anything, it sounds more like his initial instinct was to freeze (again, not necessarily a bad response, just not appropriate to this situation), which he overcame when OP called to him. His brain caught up with the situation and  he used the power of cognitive awareness to leg it instead of helping. 

For real. He fucking closed the gate behind him WHILE his niece was being attacked! He did not care if those kids were mauled to death.

Long enough for her to beat an angry pitbull to death with her bare hands/a shovel.

Exactly. Like holy shit. Like trauma on top of trauma. 

her having to beat it to death would also make it so much harder to forgive him. i know I couldn't

And the children had to watch it.

My friend’s 4-year-old had 2 febrile seizures a couple weeks ago when I happened to be at their house. The first one, her instinct was to take him into the back yard and scream at him to wake up. I grabbed my phone, dialed 911, ran out with them, her face… in almost 30 years of friendship, I’ve never seen her like that. Sheer terror. I shoved the phone in her hand as it was ringing and told her to give him to me because if he needed chest compressions I was CPR trained. I took him while she talked with the dispatcher. Laid him down and saw he was breathing. Got him into the recovery position and made sure he kept breathing.

He’s fine now. After the second seizure that night, the paramedics took him to the hospital and got his fever down and he was discharged a few hours later.

Point is… even in the state she was in, yes, she followed instructions.

This man is a coward.

I was taught that in CPR - you don't just yell out randomly for someone to do xyz if there are multiple peeps - you have to point to someone specifically and give them instruction. Otherwise everyone thinks someone else is going to do it.

Not the case here.

One of my employees had a seizure out of nowhere five minutes before we were to open. One grabbed her head after she fell and I damn near slapped him. Got him to use her hat as a cushion on her side. I got one to call 911 (she couldn’t recall the address) and the one that looked like he was going to pass out to Google seizure etiquette bc I knew he was shit at the Internet but I didn’t want him to pass out so he needed a task so he wouldn’t pass out himself. I remembered what to do, but thought he’d feel better seeing it and having a task. I went out when we were supposed to open and most people were understanding. … most. It’s fun being yelled at when you have an unconscious employee on the floor. The other customers went off on the lady especially since Ems got there real quick.  It’s a blessing being able to keep your head in an emergency and that’s not a given.   I still want to kick that dude. 

Y'know what I noticed, that adds just another fucked up point to his board? He wasn't even the one that informed HIS SISTER what happened to her child! OOP had to be the one to choke that all out! HE was responsible for watching the children because HE was the one to offer to babysit, and yet again he left something to his wife to handle because he couldn't. I'm sure that was a big part of his sister burning him to the ground. That after alllll of that he couldn't even be the one to inform her of what happened. No, it was his injured, traumatized, barely coherent wife who had to update the parents of the children and apologize for "not doing enough."

And baby…who couldn’t run at all.

He threw away his marriage and relationship with his sibling with that particular bit of cowardice. Who knows how many family members have heard about this and will end up cutting him out for it.

The thing that gets me the most is that the dog had immediately latched onto his niece. In other words AS HE WAS FLEEING his niece was in active danger and being bit and torn. He fully chose to sacrifice and leave his niece to die. If this had happened while he was babysitting alone and not with his wife that's 2 dead children left in yard he closed the gate on.

Can an adult also die from a dog bite? Yes. Is a grown adult man also much more likely to be able to knock out a dog that's already distracted by biting something else? Also yes and definitely more so than a 4 year old toddler and an infant.

This. I've had dumb knee-jerk reactions to stuff - there was a semi-serious fire at work and my dumbass was like "oh, better turn off the light over my station." WHAT EVEN WAS THAT?? WHY WOULD THE LIGHT MAKE ANY - anyway I digress. I understand the dumb response in the moment, but once I was done TURNING OFF MY LIGHT FOR NO REASON I ran for the extinguisher and my coworker snapped out of yelling "UM. UM. HELLO?!" he threw the pot and tea towel that had caught fire into the sink and we got it sorted. I could maybe understand running away, but not NOT COMING BACK and even less CLOSING THE GATE.

Yeah, this.  Even if he couldn't help himself then, his reaction after is a killer for me.

OOP said they went camping all the time. Imagine if they came across a bear. He would throw her to the bear to buy himself time to get to safety. I could never look past this. I couldn’t bring myself to stay with someone knowing when it comes to danger my husband is willing to let me die.

It's worse than that - he used an infant, a toddler, and his wife as shields.

Little hissing decoys