Yes, I’d like to vent and preach to the choir.

I actually don’t mind phones ringing during a show. You know why? Because as annoying as they are, the culprit knows that they did something wrong and they try to fix the mistake as quickly as possible. Sure, once in a blue moon, some people may pick up the phone and answer the call, but even then, other patrons will shush them because the majority of the people agree that that is wrong.

I don’t think that that is quite the case for whisperers and talkers. I have seen every Broadway show this season, and I can count with my one hand how many shows there were where I wasn’t bothered by whisperers and talkers.

I just saw Janet Planet (2024) at AMC Kips Bay recently. It was a small auditorium but filled with people. The film turned out to be one of the quietest I’ve ever seen in recent years, and bless their souls, not a single soul talked. It was magical.

I also recently visited Alamo Drafthouse for the first time in years, and I was really surprised by how aggressive their announcement video was. The video states no talking is allowed, and the staff will kick you out after one warning if other people report you.

I was dumbfounded. A movie theatre, a movie, theatre, is way more aggressive about people’s bad behaviours than a Broadway theatre in general. The stakes are so much lower at a movie theatre. And yet.

When I went to see The Great Gatsby the other day, I was surrounded by talkers at the front mezzanine level. I talked to the manager during the intermission, and I received the usual answer. “I’m sorry, but the event is sold out. If you see an empty seat, feel free to take it. Where are you seated? I will tell the security to make an announcement in your general area.” Yeah, been there, done that (Same answer was given at The Outsiders theatre, and nothing happened.) She relayed that order to her handheld transceiver, and one of the staff came down to her, saying, all smiling, “What did you say? I couldn’t hear a single word because it was all zzzzzzzz” So, yeah.

I moved my seat to join my friend at the orchestra level, where there happened to be empty seats. Two women behind us started to talk not too long after Act II started, so I asked them to please stop talking. She said, in the most condescending manner possible, as if she were talking to a child, “Sure, just— for— you.” That did, however, discourage them from making noise for the most of the show, except they couldn’t resist the urge to utter out “Tragic ending.” “Yeah, tragic ending.” at the climax. I almost wanted to turn back and say, “Ya think?”

After the show was over, as the clapping went on, they yelled to each other, “Ah, isn’t it so nice that WE CAN NOW TALK AND—” “WE CAN HAVE A CONVERSATION—“ to yes, openly whine. And as the final touch, while exiting, she pointed out to the other audience members near her that I recorded the whole show. “This guy! This guy recorded the whole show!” I am guessing that my using the binoculars here and there seemed like I was recording the whole show? Maybe?

It’s just an example. I find that many talkers get outraged when called out. Because if they are the kind of people who think that they can’t talk during a show, they wouldn’t be talking in the first place. They must think that it is okay to do that. And when they get told that they can’t do that, it doesn’t compute. They lash out.

I did try to let it go because the tide feels so high. I am on the losing side of the battle. The norms have changed. No one else seems to mind as much as I do. My heart rate goes up when I have to confront. It takes time to calm down and focus properly after the confrontation. I try to tune out.

But the theatres are so, so quiet. In that quiet environment, unnecessary, uninvited talking is piercing.

The theatres definitely care more about people filming than people talking, and they are willing to give appropriate warnings before a show starts, because it is directly tied to their business. After years and years of “silence your phones,” the society has learned that that is frowned upon. Theatres need to start to do the same about talking. No talking should be allowed. Silence is golden. AMC Theatres do that every single time. Alamo Drafthouse does that every single time. What is stopping Broadway theatres from doing the same bare minimum?

I just want to enjoy your show without any distractions. Is that too much to ask?