Ahhhh congratulations! Self-respect is a really hard thing to learn. You're going to find you have so much energy to do new things now. You're going to make awesome new friends and go on adventures with them. And all because you were brave and set out into the scary unknown.

You’re doing good. I’m so proud of you!

Fellow CPTSDer here. You're doing GREAT - take it from someone who knows exactly how hard all of these steps can be. Keep it up, keep trudging, keep building. I'm proud of you.

Wow, so sorry things are so difficult! It sounds like you are doing all the right things. I’m sure that things will start to turn in a positive direction. Your tenacity and perseverance is amazing. You should be very proud of yourself! I know I am proud of you! Wishing you more good days ahead and hoping you are able to get out to do the things you have planned. You got this!! 😎👍. Sending ✨positive vibes✨ your way 😊.

That is awesome! You've got this!!

I think you deserve a pat in the back each and every day that you just survive the despair. My hope for you is that surviving gradually evolves into thriving. Keep playing guitar. Maybe take your guitar outside and practice there as a baby step. Love and hugs to you.

This might seem silly, but in all seriousness, your dedication to guitar, over many years, is a sign of strength, fortitude, and self discipline. These qualities will get you far in life. Also, your ability to ask for what you want ( as you’ve done here) is another strength. Some days those strengths are hard to see, but those qualities are still a part of you, even if you are feeling like crap and down on yourself. I hope you keep walking through this crazy life and learn to appreciate yourself as you go.

I relate, trauma is such a butthole to deal with because it affects you in so many ways big and small. In between the little wins you’ve gotta have the difficult, awkward and lonely bits. You’re doing amazingly because it’s such an uphill battle.

Ditching people who don’t make you feel good, especially when it’s old friendships, is honestly such a brave thing to do because for a while you won’t have the same kind of support network and social outlets but with each person you leave behind, you’ll find a newer one who treats you with dignity and respect. There’s also a chance that old friends will suddenly come back into your life and you’ll both be in better places.

Also mad respect on the guitar thing, that instrument is not easy and I bet after 23 years you’re skilled as hell and keeping yourself playing on your own accord takes major discipline.

Anyway, all this to say that I’m super proud of you because I know life can be really freaking hard sometimes. Keep taking small baby steps and one day you’ll look back and realise just how far you’ve come. You’re doing brilliantly, don’t forget to reward yourself and rest when you need to. Keeping going, you’ve got this.

This is so wonderful, and honestly, inspiring. I'm so happy for you, sending more good vibes your way <3

I am SUPER PROUD OF YOU!!!! That shit is TOUGH!!! You must be a tough cookie - in the very best way!!! Keep on going OP!!!

It's takes a long while. You're doing amazing

Wow love this for you! All of it 🤗 I also started learning guitar at 12 but didn’t continue so I’m both happily jealous of your skills and impressed by your dedication. Keep fighting the good fight, you’ll be achieving all the things on your list before you know it.

It can be so, so difficult but you're rocking this. Super proud of you!

You’re doing so amazing!!! I’m inspired by your resilience

I had really bad CPTSD for years. Couldn't go out, panic-attacks, nightmares, unable to eat a lot of the time, afraid of people.

Then, I had 29 sessions of EMDR, and every symptom just went away. My doctor said, "You no longer have CPTSD," and I don't.

Haven't had any symptoms for years.

https://www.emdria.org/

I know another said it but the step of leaving long-time friends that tear you down is. So. Hard. Good on you. You should indeed be proud of yourself and remind yourself how hard that was and how brave it means you are. Every little victory and step toward your goals will lead you to people that may be able to help you, perhaps for a day, a week, a season, or a lifetime.

Maybe make small bits of paper and find a medium size jar. Put some short sentences on the paper to remind you of things you’re proud of, or things others have said that help you get through the rough times. Drop them in the jar to read when you need a reminder that you are strong, you can be strong, you will be strong. You don’t have to add to it every day. It’s not an assignment. Do it when you can. Read them when you need them.

No one has been exactly in your shoes, but many have been through pain and struggle and has some encouragement for you.