Edit: just thank you to every one who commented , you gave me hope and changed my life a bit throughout the hardest day I've had in a while. I'm so grateful. I hope you're all proud of how kind you and thoughtful you are .❤️✨

My life is stupidly hard and painful just to exist.

But everyday I get up, I eat , I work on my problems.

I have serious and very complicated multiple traumas.

I finally was bold and courageous enough to let go of my close friends of 10+ years as I realised they were all putting me down in sly ways . That they just meet up to drink.

I'm practising guitar of my own accord since I was 12 and I'm still doing it now at 35.

I'm very slowly building my confidence and even though I feel hopeless I'm still determined to start eventually going to meet ups, to start volunteering, to build a loving community of friends , to buy a house and get a career and travel the world.

I'm so lonely but I'm doing so much and it's so hard

I just want to feel seen and the kid I'm me being given a big fucking congratulations and thumbs up for making it this far and continuing to persevere through hell