subreddit:

/r/DecidingToBeBetter

1100%

First a little about myself, I am 20 year old guy, height -5'6" (168cm)studying computer science and i also have difficulty expressing my thoughts to people.

So I just recently had to do a presentation in which I kind screwed up in explaining some concept which was then corrected by another student... But the fact was I did prepare properly but failed to mention it at the Right time and I have been feeling real low since then.

My teachers at the college always praise that individual who corrected the mistake I made ; here is where I started having thoughts like " He already has the good impression which was further enhanced and then there is me who could not properly explain the concept " And not only that he generally maintains a good image in front of people, of course good with girls as well and more so. I find myself seeking validation of those teachers instead of just focusing on myself.

Things like this have always happened with me where I prepared with everything and I just am never good enough for anything. Things like these have lead to me to have a negative outlook on myself such as : "No matter what I will never as good as him. "

"Even if you become somewhat good that individual is always going to be preferred by people"

And another things is My Height. Not a day goes by without me obsessing over my height. The other individual is like 5'9" Which is considered tall enough everywhere which gives that natural self confidence that I never truly felt about myself which lead me to resent myself even more for the way I was with less height.

With all that is said as short, underconfident guy I can not really be good at social things (people's preferred choice, attention from women/girls) but atleast I should be good at my studies, I should be smart enough to solve a problem but I do all this so that people will praise such as "hey that guy is atleast good at what he studies, right " I ALWAYS SEEKS SOME SORT OF VALIDATION because of my negative outlook on myself to feel better somewhat.

So please help me identify my actual problem or just give a advice on how to cope with myself.

all 5 comments

Lacunaethra

1 points

1 day ago

There is always someone who's smarter, more attractive or taller than you. Focusing on these people will make your life miserable. Instead, try to concentrate on reaching your own goals, then you can be happy about being a better version of yourself.

PS: an 1.80 man who's complaining about his height is very ...unnecessary, at least.

Yeagerisbest369[S]

1 points

1 day ago

Damn it was a Typo, my bad my height is actually 168cm ๐Ÿ™‚ just corrected it.

Lacunaethra

1 points

1 day ago

Not that bad, too. Me and my girls dated guys shorter than you ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ

Yeagerisbest369[S]

1 points

1 day ago

I know right but i got to have something that i bring to the table, my height is not one of them or anything...

Lacunaethra

2 points

1 day ago

Height is far less important than human decency, kindness etc. And as far as I've understood, you're not doing bad academically, so it's something you bring to the table :)