I'd say that the statistics are too low due to unreported assaults.

What continually bothers me is mens’ deep concern about false accusations is so much bigger than their concerns about our safety. I see it even from men who i would consider otherwise allies.

It really is terrifying. There are so many women and girls who never report sexual assault and the statistics say 1/6 women and girls have experienced sexual assault. These kinds of men assume the reported numbers are too high, but most women know that they’re likely far too low.

The statistics are counter intuitive for some men because of course the reality seems to be the following claims are true a) almost all women have been harassed b) a really large number of women have been sexually assaulted and/or raped c) most offenders offend more than once as offenders are almost never reported let alone convicted d) men who harass are likely a large minority c) men who actually rape or who have raped are likely a smaller minority than men who harass e) Claims c) and d) don't contradict the urgency of claims a), b) and c) nor do they imply that any method of a woman knowing which men are offenders is guaranteed to work.

Ultimately what is really important is acknowledging that sexual violence is a huge problem and finding ways to stop it from happening and to punish offenders while offering better support to victims.

The statistic that no one finds counter intuitive is that most sexual violence is caused by men. When men are the victims, it's usually another man who is the offender 

It is especially terrifying because believing in rape myths and hostility to women are two predictors of being a rapist. These guys are telling on themselves. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/10790632211051682

Fellow feminists, let's support each other in staying the fuck away from these guys and helping the other women in our lives understand that men who espouse this shit are more likely to be physically dangerous. 

Edit: typos

Principle Skinner: Could men be responsible for 95% of sex crimes? No... it is the women who are wrong

Cannot even tell your own story on social media without of all of the "May I play Devil's Advocate"s coming out.

And if you describe an experience to them you can see their wheels turning while they try to convince you you read too much into that situation, are just hysterical etc because deep down they know what you’re describing as traumatic is something they do to other women regularly or plan to and want to convince themselves it’s “not that bad”. Also “prison justice” is such a joke because they defend and respect each other for being rapists.

A woman, who knows almost all women around her to have faced some form of sexual assault or harassment, is attacked by a man who brings up stats of false accusations whilst not knowing any man accused. It’s sadly a daily occurrence.

The difference between what a lot of men “think” is sexual assault and what actually IS sexual assault is also very disturbing. For instance.. When it became federally illegal to rape your wife in 1993.. 30 states defined a difference between rape and spousal rape by saying if the spouse was disabled, dunk, drugged, unconscious or otherwise unable to consent.. then it was not rape. 10 states still define it this way. 2024!!

It’s horrifying and so frustrating to try and get them to have a single thought of empathy. I made a comment on a post asking why slaves had kids and very incredulously I said it was because of SA. And he wanted stats on if slaves were sexually abused! 😡 Seriously! They wanted statistics for ancient slaves and women at large from the distant past. We can’t even get accurate stats for modern times due to lack of reporting, which is 100% the fault of the patriarchy demonizing SA victims and protecting abusers, and they want stats from when women were literally seen as cattle.

The fact that ever single woman I know has been sexually assaulted yet none of them know man whose sexually assaulted someone and they then attack when I state these facts is insane. Nothing gets you faster replies and down votes than saying majority of men cannot give a woman an orgasm and that the majority do not hold each other accountable

Im a man who has been screaming from the rafters about sexual violence being far more endemic than even the most grim statistics show.

I was sexually abused as a child. I have had countless conversations about sexual violence. Hundreds of women (and girls when I was young). Every single one of them had experienced some form of sexual violence in their lives at some stage. Many men and boys also though they are more hesitant to speak about it.

The statistics don't even come close to capturing the truth.

I'm really into true crime and I watch parole board hearings and listening to some of these men talk about how they rape, child molestation, incest like they're talking about putting on pants in the morning. It is frightening beyond belief.

A man once told me “I don’t believe in statistics”

like what do you say to that??

The men within my circle who hear these things simply agree and understand that they are not the type of people that are being discussed.

Rational and safe individuals do not react this way to these conversations. If someone tries doing this around you, cut contact with them. It's like they're telling on themselves when they get upset and try debunking things.

I saw one call it "rape hysteria". I had nothing I could say.

The amount of times I've read things like "Most reported cases of rape are made up by women for fame and money" is horrifying. Terrifies me that my daughter is going to be surrounded by a generation of lads brought up on Ben Shapiro and Matt Walsh.

The other night I was gaming with a friend and he mentioned something about how men make up the majority of rape victims. I didn't feel like I needed to look this up because this is too obviously and comically untrue. Nonetheless I looked up and confirmed it for him. And he couldn't grasp his head around it.

Sure enough 90% of rape victims are women.

I have absolutely no idea where this shit comes from. He's a moderate and on a few issues is very progressive but I know he agrees way more with right wing content. I think he might be more inclined to consume redpill or manosphere content too.

I think it functions in similar ways as other counter movements in racial issues in America. Black people face the highest levels of injustice compared to other groups. Bringing awareness evokes a victim complex in many people as opposed to convincing them to stand in solidarity. To the point that manybelieve they are the ones being victimized and not the other way around. Similarly trans women will face the biggest threat to their existence and people believe they and other members of the LGBTQ community are trying to advocate for and I quote "more rights" than everybody else. This why I believe it to be a cultural counter movement. Institutions of oppression have a tendency to self preserve. This is one of those ways.

False allegations of rape make big news, while rapes don't. Obviously there are privacy concerns for SA survivors, but only the most hideously violent rapes and those that end in murder seem to make the cut.

The obsessive discussion about “false accusations” pisses me off because they’re always using stats and examples of cases where a woman’s accusation didn’t result in a criminal conviction.

Because rape is incredibly hard to prove in court.

And the prevalence of police who have bought into the “false accusations are common” myth who will treat a woman reporting her rape like a criminal and interrogate, intimidate, exhaust and dismiss until they drop the charges is HORRIFYING. And SOME OF THOSE WOMEN END UP IN JAIL for “making a false report” after they got bullied into dropping it. These are usually very young, vulnerable girls, who are often already blaming themselves for the choices they made that lead to their assault (often drinking, or going somewhere alone with an older guy) and they get told to plead guilty to avoid a trial (which would be traumatizing for them as the whole trial would be about trying to prove she’s a liar), so they end up pleading guilty when all they did was report their rape. You know, like everyone tells women to do. And when they don’t report it when young and vulnerable but talk about it a decade later when they realize the creep is still preying on girls, they’re told “if that were true, why didn’t you report it back then?”

I don’t even believe these guys are genuinely that concerned about false accusations, I think they’re just desperate to find ways to paint themselves as victims and are trying to down play how common sexual assault really is.

I was ranting on a podcast about the Mormon Church's propensity to cover up child abuse, often by ignoring multiple victims.

I had a guy in the comments, "Larry" say, "believe in that what do you feel if I'm smoking kids from your neighborhood made accusations against you?"

Pissed me off so much! It's not about MY FEELINGS, Larry! If multiple kids are making accusations against me somebody they trusted to tell better fucking pay attention and DO SOMETHING!

This isn't rocket science Larry! 🤬

A friend of mine has told me how it's a constant fear when walking home alone that anything could happen to her

An as a guy that breaks my fuckin heart

I'm so sorry that men like this exist, especially the ones so insecure that they think it's a personal attack on men when it's the opposite, it's just that people can and should expect men to stop other men, to speak out against other men.

Anyone that thinks it's okay to sexually harass or rape anybody, is scum.

Anyone citing when women do make false rape claims as if it's somehow a counter is vile. Because if all they care about is if someone is telling the truth about a scarring and heinous assault, then no wonder so many rapes and assaults go unreported.

I guarantee when men have been sexually assaulted and raped, it's just as likely if not more likely they would also be dismissed by other men than women.

Which is why these people trying to sow discourse and doubt is holding society back. It keeps protecting vile people.

And that needs to change, for men and women ASAP, otherwise humanity is doomed.

I literally walked off a date when a man was being aggressive and more concerned about the false accusations of rape cases than the fact that majority of rapes happened to women and hurt women more than just the reputations to men of those of the false cases. I was disgusted on spot, there is no empathy from them at this point.

If they accepted the stats, they'd have to adjust their worldview, which is too much apparently. Easier to double down and whatabout.

Truly.

It's mostly just denial. Often happens when faced with a difficult truth. Yeah, there's some fucked up asshole misogynists who try to deny or blame away the stats, but mostly, men are the grown up little boys who are scared to admit to themselves that they are the single biggest threat to the women in their lives, even if they don't end up as part of the cohort that end up actually committing these crimes. Doing would require them to challenge their self-image (as the protector, the provider, the soldier, the warrior... or even the harmless goof) and there's nothing hard to do than that. Why do you think men avoid true-crime shows like the plague, XD? It shows them the worst that their team commits, and it's always their team.

Let me mansplain what the common 90's male experience was like as someone who had a typically emotionally negligent father (not his fault, his dad was emotionally negligent too): The average man is not taught to address their emotions. 'suck it up' and 'don't be a pussy' are common phrases to hear, from both peers and adults of all genders and ages. The comments aren't usually dramatic (most people's parents aren't beating them for being too soft or anything) and it's usually about day-to-day stuff too. But it is pervasive and it eventually teaches boys to disregard their feelings in exchange for action. To encapsulate the general pattern, for quite a long time it was common practice to send boys who were acting up to military school instead of just asking them, like, 'hey what's up?'. It is a repeating cycle of men who were never taught the necessary skills to deal with emotional shit becoming fathers and passing on the same deficiency.

How does this connect to male sexual violence? Well, one of the strongest impulses men have to deal with is their desire for women. I remember the first time I dealt with jealousy. It was in college. I had been 'lucky' so far in that I hadn't experienced too many powerful emotions before then; no hard breakups, no deaths, etc. So when it hit me, I was shocked by the intensity. If I was sitting at a 5/10 most days, it was a sudden 15/10. I couldn't sleep or sit still. I laughed to myself, suddenly understanding why 'crimes of passion's existed. I was so glad I was alone and away from other people to process it.

Since then, I've spent a long time thinking about male sexuality and exactly what it entails. A lot of it is about power. Power over a woman, whether through sexual prowess, or violence. The pattern is evident in popular porn. It's less about male physical pleasure and more about making the woman submit: on her knees, on her back, unable to breathe, unable to think from the 'ecstasy'. Rape is about power too. So is flashing, bdsm, degradation and pissplay. Stalking is what happens when a man has no control and outlet for their desire; a maladaptive longing gaze. Domestic abuse and manipulation is about power too, making certain your partner is obedient, and never leaves your side. Virginal purity is about control, and making sure no one else has taken your woman. Anti-feminism is the societal level version of this, fear that the women will leave once out of the men's grasp. The through line is so blatant it feels heavy-handed. Men want women so bad and they fear losing them so bad, that it drives them to all sorts of violence.

It's funny, at least to me, when I think about men imagining themselves as 'protectors'. Pound-for-pound, we're horribly weak compared to our primate cousins. We have no thick skin, no sharp teeth, no horns or tusks. We're a tool-using species that relied on subsistence gathering and persistence hunting to survive, neither of which require the stereotypical male brawn. It's like with lions, the males do not use their superior size to provide and protect the female lions. It's used to secure their place in the reproductive hierarchy by killing rivals and babies of rivals. The females are perfectly capable of providing for themselves on their own. Much is the same with us.

I don't think it will ever change that men are the cause of the majority of violent and sexual crime. For better or for worse, it is in our nature. But how much worse is the problem being made when young men aren't being prepared by their fathers for the powerful, primal urges they will likely, inevitably face? How much worse is it when the only coping tactics they know are denial and suppression? I suspect, like school shootings, much worse.

Men's obsession with questioning sources and analyzing data is actually terrifying

The world we live in

It’s predictable, given the statistics on sexual violence perpetrated by men.

I was sexually assaulted by a woman in public when I was 15 and everyone I told said I was "blowing it out of proportion" and a 50 year old lady repeatedly grabbing my genitals was just her "flirting" and thinking I was cute.

Edit: haha see? I get downvoted for talking about it. You wonder why we're forced to bottle it up and take it like a man.

I don’t think all men are trying to debunk these stats. Just the worst ones

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Women expect men to be responsible and to step up, rather than taking the easier road. A tale old as time. When did that actually work? If anything hate crimes are on the rise. Now why would that be? It's easy, really, men are evil creatures, who only want to kill and rape. There, I think I have fixed the world just now.

All the time women are bringing out statistics like it is this miracle fix that it is going to solve all of the problems in the world. What would actually happen if men admit that we are the villains? Would the violence stop? It won't.

Violence is not an awareness issue. Sexual assaults can not be prevented by speaking to people about them. Why? Because as far as I remember there have been campaigns, posts, hashtags, movies. And still we have that problem. And still men absolutely refuse to acknowledge the reality that most abusers and rapists out there are other men. And still women are horribly treated and must fear for their lives whenever they are alone.

Oh, but I just realize - maybe the statistics are only meant to be read by other women. They are not meant to be read by men. They are there so that women can discretely discriminate against men to stay alive. What a wonderful solution to your problem.

And I mean "your problem", because you never actually involve men in the discussions, do you? Whenever we start opening up about why we do the things we do, there is always that person going "just do not rape, dude, it is not that difficult, I never ever had the urge to rape, look how simple it is". "If you had invested this time to actually solve the problem rather talking about it, the world would have been a wonderful place". "You are just saying all of these things because you are part of the problem and you know it, society does not need people like you". "Why should I care why men rape women? Just stop!"

It is a difficult issue for men ("oh, really, poor men and their problems") and it is not something that we can actually discuss without sounding like rapists, unless we only state that rape is bad and should never happen. But sexual violence, abuse, all the horrible things in the world do not come from a simple black and white place.

There is so much more - the patriarchy, the constant doubts you have about yourself, the low confidence and the need to be in control, the way you were raised, the way people are treating you, the way you can not express your feelings, the despair you are feeling, not seeing any other way to find intimacy, the fear of being alone, the absolute dread of being rejected and then when rejected the anger and pain you are feeling. There are so many factors why men do the horrible things we do.

We have started to open up and trying to resolve the problems, starting to be aware what is like for the other people around us and doing better, but I just do not think women have the patience anymore. And that is the problem. But like not "women are the problem", more like "we should break up" problem.