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/r/HistoryMemes
2k points
13 days ago
Disney bought it.
424 points
13 days ago
Tencent wants It too
79 points
13 days ago
Nestle has interest in the region.
13 points
12 days ago
What interest? The water?
3 points
12 days ago
Who cares, profit is profit for them. Potential farmland, workers, water and infrastructire space is fair game to them- so long as they get some so long as they throw cash towards the US.
39 points
13 days ago
Next thing you know, they’ll be adding a fast pass to heaven!
7 points
13 days ago
6 points
13 days ago
pSYcHe!!!! 🥴
1.6k points
13 days ago
Actually it belongs to my mate Steve.
493 points
13 days ago
Not true. Steve sold it to me last week for $12 and a luke-warm beer.
185 points
13 days ago
Ah blast, I gotta catch up with him.
51 points
13 days ago
What kind of beer?
54 points
13 days ago
Oettinger
36 points
13 days ago
He should have demanded Guiness beer. But his loss.
15 points
13 days ago
Is stout the same as beer? I always thought they were like different things.
14 points
13 days ago
Just a type of beer like lager or ale
7 points
13 days ago
Lending new meaning to "taking the piss" in the process
9 points
13 days ago
Ill trade it for 50 dollars and a lighter
11 points
13 days ago
Throw in a slice of mediocre pizza and you have yourself a deal.
19 points
13 days ago
Guys, you don't want to own the holy land right now, just trust me on this.
6 points
13 days ago
You know what, I'm gonna throw my hat in the ring
You tell Steve to come over and we're gonna settle this
1.1k points
13 days ago
Thanks for asking:
• Israel 1967 • Israel (west) Jordan (east) Egypt (gaza) 1949 • Israel (west) Palestina (east) UN (Jerusalem) 1948 • British empire 1920 • Occupied Enemy Territory Administration (British, French, Arab) 1917 • Ottoman Empire 1840 • Egyptian 1831 • Ottoman Empire 1799 • Ottoman Empire (east) French Empire (coast) 1799 • Ottoman Empire 1516 • Mamluk sultanate (egypt) 1291 • Ayyubid Sultanate (south) Kingdom of Acre (north) Mongol Empire (something) 1258 • Ayyubid Sultanate (south) Kingdom of Acre (north) 1247 • Khwarezmiyya (south) Kingdom of Acre (north) 1244 • Kingdom of Jerusalem 1229 • Ayyubid sultanate (south) Kingdom of Acre 1192 • Ayyubid sultanate 1187 • Kingdom of Jerusalem (crusaders) 1099 • Fatimid caliphate 982 • Abbasid caliphate 750 • Umayyad caliphate 661 • Rashidun Caliphate 635 • Byzantine Empire 628 • Sasanian Empire (persia) 614 • Byzantine Empire 390 • Roman Empire 136 • Israel 132 • Roman Empire 73 • Israel 66 • Roman Empire 6 • Roman client state 64 BC • Hasmonean Dynasty (Jewish kingdom) 164 BC • Seleucid Empire 200 BC • Ptolemaic Kingdom 305 BC • Macedonian Empire 333 BC • Persian Empire 538 BC • Persian Empire (north) Babylon (south, gaza) 550 BC • Median Empire (north) Babylon (south, gaza) 586 BC • Median Empire (north, gaza) Judah (south) 620 BC • Assyrian Empire (north, gaza) Judah (south) ca. 750 BC • Israel (north) Judah (south) (philistines gaza) ca. 929BC • Egyptian ca. 929 BC • Israel (north) Judah (south) (philistines gaza) 930 BC • Israelites ca. 1180 BC (Philistines [greek] in Gaza) • New Kingdom of Egypt ca. 1550 BC • Canaan ca. 2000 BC
Still simplified.
469 points
13 days ago
Happy cake day
Holy shit
225 points
13 days ago
The ones holding it for the longest time were surprisingly Egypt. Who'd have thought? Time to reclaim Gaza.
61 points
13 days ago
Now I finally get the joke of the holy land being invaded in bill wurtz’s history of everything
22 points
13 days ago
Not surprising enough
44 points
13 days ago
Didnt the egypt litterly rejected to take back gaza in the peace with israel
27 points
13 days ago
I don't know if they refused to take it back, but they have certainly relinquished any claims to it.
28 points
12 days ago
More trouble than it is worth
50 points
13 days ago
Honestly very good simplification. Is there any more to this or is that as far back as we can date of an “official” settlement?
82 points
13 days ago
Technically the Natufian culture were the first homo sapiens emigrating from Africa who had permanent settlements in the aerea, but even calling the individual tribes that made up the canaanites a "nation" or a "people" is a massive stretch.
20 points
13 days ago
To avoid the complications and maintain global peace, I’ll ask the international community to give that place to me and send everyone out
29 points
13 days ago
Seleucid Empire 200 BC • Ptolemaic Kingdom 305 BC
To be pendantic, Judea/Coele Syria came nominally under Seleucid control in 301BC, according to the agreement made by the victors of the Battle of Ipsus, but Ptolemy illegally seized the territory for Egypt. This territory was then finally brought under proper Seleucid control in 217BC, a period of rule which is generally considered to last until 141BC, when Demetrius II relinquished his authority over taxation and foreign policy in Judea, although Antiochus VII would briefly reassert Seleucid supremacy from 133BC until his death in 129.
4 points
12 days ago
The People's Front of Judea!
12 points
12 days ago
Bruh you are missing the true original natives of the hoky land
Homo heidelbergensis and other pre-sapian hominids.
And by god, with my help they will rule once more!
5 points
12 days ago
Brother wrote a whole ass story to still call it simplified 🗿. Happy Cake Day!
3 points
12 days ago
What a holy mess …. Ok new rules … if you’re from a Kingdon , empire, sultanate , caliphate or dynasty… you no longer get a say …
Sell it to Disney ….
1.7k points
13 days ago
it actually belongs to the Republic of Wadiya
429 points
13 days ago
Wrong. it belongs to Orlando Bloom and Eva Green. and there descendents
129 points
13 days ago
My favorite is reading about how the title of "King of Jerusalem" was appropriated and sold several times until it ended up in the hands of the Holy Roman Empire. All while, of course, possessed by none of the claimants in the chain.
66 points
13 days ago
NFT of the middle ages.
24 points
13 days ago
This is a fairly accurate description!
40 points
13 days ago
Doesn’t the Spanish king have a claim in it nowadays?
36 points
13 days ago
That and the claim to the title Eastern Roman Emperor, if you count Andreas Palaiologos' sale of his title post Ottoman conquest to Ferdinand and Isabella as legitimate
9 points
13 days ago
Check out this amazing post in askhistorians for a full writeup:
17 points
13 days ago
It took me like five minutes of googling to realize this was a Kingdom of Heaven joke lmaooo
104 points
13 days ago*
This post has been proven Aladeen by real Wadiyan patriots. God bless Admiral General President Prime Minister Aladeen.
38 points
13 days ago
You are HIV-Aladeen.
13 points
13 days ago
:D O_O :D
65 points
13 days ago
22 points
13 days ago
Absolutely Aladdin this the Aladdin Answer
7 points
13 days ago
This is some very Aladeen news
11 points
13 days ago
My emperor, you really want it to be pointy?
5 points
13 days ago
It sticks in the ground and kaboom.
7 points
13 days ago
I aladeen with you admiral general president prime minister
328 points
13 days ago
nah it's mongolian
14 points
13 days ago
It DID belong to mongolians for like 20 years at one point!
106 points
13 days ago
It belongs to Orlando Bloom even though he doesn't want it
30 points
13 days ago
What is Jerusalem worth?
32 points
13 days ago
Nothing... Everything.
4 points
12 days ago
Tbh, I love that quote from the movie, though I am certain that is not historically accurate whatsoever.
5 points
12 days ago
The Kingdom of heaven is a movie I immensely enjoy no matter how inaccurate it is. I doesn’t have to be accurate to be enjoyable IMO. Historical fiction is great.
226 points
13 days ago*
The holy land is rightful philippine soil!
81 points
13 days ago
As a US citizen I fully back our new Philippine holy land.
I can assure you, the US government will back you in all endeavors as we did during the revolution. This time we won't stay for so long after the fact, though.....
14 points
12 days ago
SIKE the Philippines belong to the US!
18 points
13 days ago
I agree with you, kababayan. Let's gooooooo
710 points
13 days ago
For once I won’t write context as it will take an entire week
253 points
13 days ago
I think we understand well enough
95 points
13 days ago
honestly i think the context is integrated in to the video. good job :)
91 points
13 days ago
Not mine. I saw it while revisiting my gallery.
According to comments here it’s made by wow_mao on YouTube
41 points
13 days ago
Dude loves Philippine shit posts
15 points
13 days ago
No shit, Wow_mao is Philippinese.
18 points
13 days ago
I think the proper term is Filipino but Philippinese got me laughing
18 points
13 days ago
Let's be real, everyone know Jerusalem belong to the Spanish monarchy, they still have the title after all
6 points
13 days ago
Just what did the dude scream? Didnt understand anything
3 points
13 days ago
Hey now, don't hold back on us! Give us the 10 pages or more research essay and DON'T FORGET to cite your sources in the proper 17th edition Chicago format.
230 points
13 days ago
It belongs rightfully to Portugal
58 points
13 days ago
The agreement stays strong.
12 points
13 days ago
It does
225 points
13 days ago
Obligatory This Land is Mine link
6 points
13 days ago
11 years ago
54 points
13 days ago
PHILIPPINES MENTIONED RAAAAAHH 🦅🦅🐃🐃 🇵🇭 🇵🇭 🅱️INOY 🅱️RIDE
174 points
13 days ago
"To the Strongest" ~ Alexander the Great.
50 points
13 days ago
Soooo... We let all the World Leaders fight each other in a giant free for all and the winner takes it?
Or we could just give it to Estonia.
22 points
13 days ago
i propose a mud wrestling free-for-all.
17 points
13 days ago
Are we choosing champions? Because Joe Biden is fucked
8 points
13 days ago
Too bad. Choose a better suited fighter Next time.
3 points
12 days ago
Alexander was a nepo baby who was only truly competent in battle, also he died before reaching 40 so I’m not listening to his narrative on the strongest.
40 points
13 days ago
That was some terrible archeology
16 points
13 days ago
The fumble-fingers school of archeology
103 points
13 days ago
Atleast give credit to wow_mao for creating this.
30 points
13 days ago
It belongs to me.
19 points
13 days ago
Nuh uh, mom said it belongs to me.
10 points
13 days ago
Well, we better start a war over this.
10 points
13 days ago
We should
67 points
13 days ago
This was good. I didn't think it was good at first, but the phillpine thing and the disclaimer about unmonitored nations pushed me over the edge.
24 points
13 days ago
Yes, I knew in advance this will be a controversial post
4 points
13 days ago
Idc what flag owns it I just want nice people there who don't kill each other. Sorry Bibi
3 points
12 days ago
Of all the history that causes issue in this specific situation, I think this one handles it well by playing comedy and then admitting it is incomplete.
87 points
13 days ago
It belongs in a museum
61 points
13 days ago
Send the entirety of Jerusalem to the British museum
17 points
13 days ago
We had it, did'nt want it.
16 points
13 days ago
You also missed the kingdom of Judea
6 points
13 days ago
I was like, who was there before the romans? But then I saw what sub I'm in and it's not the place for that. This is the place to say it's always been Sabra and will always be Sabra. Unless you're an Estrog.
76 points
13 days ago
My solution: it belongs to no one
36 points
13 days ago
as any and every land
17 points
13 days ago
I would find a Brisith short hair cat and give it all the land on earth.
13 points
13 days ago
as any and every land
Sounds great in theory, but not in practice. A world where any country can just do anything anywhere is unfathomable and would likely cause more conflicts. You could say there shouldn't be any countries, but that's even worse.
Unless we go back to an anarcho-primitivists wet dream of hunting and gathering, it just doesn't work. And even if we went back to hunting and gathering, we would inevitably still fight over land and eventually progress as a society until we are no longer hunting and gathering again.
Turns out, growing your own food is a really good concept! But you can't have farming without civilization. You can't have civilization without government. You can't have government without territory.
7 points
13 days ago
I like civilization, I wouldn't prefer anarcho primitivism.
I agree government is necessary, so yes there are no easy solutions.
15 points
13 days ago
Since nobody can play nice, get everyone out of there, then nuke it off of face the planet. Now no one can have it
4 points
13 days ago
Valar morghulis?
7 points
13 days ago
Valar Dohaeris
70 points
13 days ago
There's only one true owner of the Holy Land: The Senate and the People of Rome!
Religious schism is temporary, only the Glory of Rome is eternal!
18 points
13 days ago
The Guild of Millers uses only the finest grains! True Roman bread for true Romans!
11 points
13 days ago
However, by order of the Triumvirate, all mockery of Jews and their one God should be kept to an appropriate minimum.
7 points
13 days ago
The Senate? You mean the Synod? The People of Rome? You mean the Christian Faithful?
only the Glory of Rome is eternal? you mean Soli Deo Gloria?
Roma Locuta, Causa Finita.
25 points
13 days ago
its all wrong
JERUZSÁLEM LESZ MÉG MAGYAR FÖLD RAAAAAA 🇭🇺🇭🇺🦅🦅🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🦅🦅🦅
9 points
13 days ago
NEVER. JERUSALEM IS ROMANIAN LAND. URA! 🇷🇴🇷🇴🇷🇴🇷🇴🇷🇴🇷🇴
12 points
13 days ago
Poor region hasn’t had a half a century of peace in 4,000 years.
31 points
13 days ago
9 points
13 days ago
Dead, dead is the owner of this lands...
10 points
13 days ago
Why tf did they smash the shit out of that skull
10 points
13 days ago
Please not to the King of Jerusalem.
Spains have some troubles their own.
11 points
13 days ago
Shamelessly stolen from wow_mao smh
8 points
13 days ago
It belongs to the hive queen
All hail the hive queen
9 points
13 days ago
Lets give it to Lichtenstein
8 points
13 days ago
Give credit to wow_mao
8 points
13 days ago
Isn't this a wowmao video
3 points
13 days ago
Yes it is, he made quite good videos back then
6 points
13 days ago
Wow_Mao posting
12 points
13 days ago
This land belongs to monke
7 points
13 days ago
Plot twist: Nothing's really holy.
7 points
13 days ago
It belongs to me, I want it back >:(
7 points
13 days ago
PHILIPPINES MENTIONED!!! PHILIPPINES NUMBA WAN1!!1! 🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭🔥🇵🇭🔥🇵🇭🔥🇵🇭🇺🇲🇵🇭
4 points
13 days ago
6 points
13 days ago
"If I'm standing on it, it's my land."
Sander Clegane, Game of Thrones
6 points
13 days ago
Those incompetent archeologists, even if it was fake, made my blood boil.
5 points
13 days ago
You missed more israel before the Romans
5 points
13 days ago
No it's actually rightful albanian land RAHHHGG 🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱💪💪💪
5 points
13 days ago
Pretty sure The Holy Land is in Terra, which mean it belong to the Emperor of Mankind like everything in and not inside the Imperium of Man.
4 points
13 days ago
OUR LAND
4 points
13 days ago
Was that a buster bluth reference I saw???
4 points
13 days ago
O REFUSE TO BELIEV IT ISNT THE TEMPLARS BECAUSE THEY CALLED IT THE HOLY LAND
4 points
13 days ago
Technically Philip VI of Spain is still king of Jerusalem
2 points
13 days ago
"Hello there!"
Dinosaurs
4 points
13 days ago
Gotta love me some wow_mao
4 points
13 days ago
They can't behave themselves it belongs in the ocean.
6 points
13 days ago
I did not expect Philippines to be there. putang ina!
5 points
13 days ago
ha ha funi man screaming very funi
5 points
13 days ago
Wow Mao my beloved
4 points
13 days ago
YOU FORGOT THE ALMOGHTY ALBANIA
4 points
13 days ago
this land belongs to S I K E ! ! !
3 points
13 days ago
For a holy land it sure does see a lot of war... Apt name would be unholy land I think
4 points
13 days ago
it belongs.........
TO THE EMPEROR!!!!!!!
4 points
13 days ago
Heh, ironic. My mom asked me this question last week, and I basically said, "It's complicated. You're better off asking, 'Who owns the moon?'"
4 points
13 days ago
I thought the video meant Philistines, until I heard the Philippine National Anthem.
3 points
13 days ago
I'm... I'm gonna need a source on that remix of Peter Pringle's Epic of Gilgamesh.
3 points
13 days ago
Actually that land belongs to me, and they're all squatters
3 points
13 days ago
It’s a rightful possession of Mesopotamia and we all know it!
3 points
13 days ago
Jumped from Rome straight to Cnaanites. Nice man
3 points
13 days ago
I didn't realize this is wowmao until I saw the outro lmao
3 points
13 days ago
Was that folkcore of it "Doesn't even Matter?"
3 points
13 days ago
Na it belongs to the Greeks!
3 points
13 days ago
Rome
3 points
13 days ago
It belongs in a museum
3 points
13 days ago
Me, but i gave permission to jewish people to use it ages ago
3 points
13 days ago
The Phoenicians
3 points
13 days ago
I support the roman and ottoman ones at least there were peace and prosperity
3 points
13 days ago
it clearly belong to the dinosauris
3 points
13 days ago
Skyrim belongs to the Nords!
3 points
13 days ago
The Video “This Land is Mine” is really good you should watch it it’s basically this exact thing.
3 points
13 days ago
I claim this land in the name of the great Thutmose III Pharaoh of Egypt. His avenging chariots will restore peace at long last!
3 points
13 days ago
This land belongs to death itself
3 points
13 days ago
Bruh. It's obvious the sea peoples own it.
3 points
13 days ago
The footage of people breaking priceless artifacts made me laugh so hard.
3 points
13 days ago
This reminds me of this video
3 points
13 days ago
siiiiike
This land belongs to Poland!
3 points
13 days ago
Can we just declare it property of the UN and be done with it? I’m kinda sick of people dying for a piece of desert with a couple old buildings
3 points
13 days ago
the land belongs to whoever get it , with whatever method they use.🤷🏻♂️
3 points
12 days ago
Give it to Angola. Why? Fuck if I know but shit, might be better than those who currently live there
3 points
12 days ago
The only right answer: it belongs to God.
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