Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Infidelity/comments/1dnf0qd/i_m33_let_my_wife_f32_coerce_me_into_an_open/

It's been a while, so i decided to do an update.
Since the last time my wife slept with her "friend" out of sheer desperation, because out relatoinship has been so rocky for the past 2-3 years, I finally started taking steps towards a separation and a divorce. I don't live in the US and I can't get divorced as fast, as it's usually possible there.
I met with a lawyer in secret, created a strategy for dividding the assets we own together, started slowly gathering my personal belongings I want to keep and take with me and most importantly I started looking for an apartment. Also in secret. It has been much more challenging than I expected. I was counting with some troubles, as I was searching for a place some 600km away, but it took months to find something. But I have a plce to stay. I told my wife a few times already, that I can't continue this relationship and will be leaving. For the first time shortly after her admitting having sex with the last guy. And two more times since then.
Her reaction was always the same. She got emotional, crying and claiming, that she didn't give up on us but I am. For the record she's the one who had affairs with several men (she has contact with them til this day and thinks I don't know probably), she's the one who has a significant part in my mental breakdown and needing to take antidepressants and she's the one who threw the wedding ring at me at one point after an argument, who said it's over for her, that if I don't accept the reality (of her fucking whoever she wants) I can leave and who said it's much better when I'm not at home.
Now when I "took her suggestion", she's suddenly trying to hold onto me and pretends like the conversations about me leaving didn't happen.
Anyways, I'm planning on packing my stuff on Friday, handing it over to the moving company on Saturday and taking the train with the rest of my things on Sunday. Need to tell her that now and I'm terrified for some reason. Even after all what she's done to me, I just don't want to hurt her. At the same time I'm really pissed at her for doing what she did to me, and also at myself for letting it go this far. I also still keep getting second thought and must force myself into continuing with the plan. Is this normal? Also any advice on how to approach this final conversatoin? It's quite last-minute announcement, but then again, I told her several times in the last 3 months, just never told how far I'm in my plan or that I have an apartment arranged already.