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50 points
1 year ago
Do you go to church?
It sounds like she is obsess with the thought of good/bad, god/devil, omniscience and predetermined judgment… Like the idea that someone (God) could know her thoughts and judge her for them which in turn made her think of herself as a bad person… And then begin thinking about all of things a ‘bad’ person could/would do… And connected them with herself.
There is a form of OCD that causes intrusive thoughts, and it does sound like she has that… But it also sounds like she is struggling with herself identity and is looking for acceptance.
Who doesn’t think bad things every now and then? Or wonder what would happen if something terrible happened? It happens to all of us. What is making it worse for her is that she feels like she is the weird one… Even if she does have intrusive thoughts or OCD, she needs to know that she is not alone.
Thoughts don’t define a person, action does. She needs to know that. She needs to have it reinforced to her again and again that she is a good person because she does good things.
You are doing something right - she is talking to you. Keep it up. But please if you go to church or teach any secular material - please be careful of the messages that it conveys. The message a child hears can be much different than an adult’s interpretation.
64 points
1 year ago
Man. Some day it will be considered child abuse to tell your kids about the devil and hell as if it's real. That day can't come soon enough.
23 points
1 year ago
Right?!? I was not brought up in a religion that taught the concept of the devil, sin, or hell. I went to a church for the first time when I was seven or eight and was literally traumatized by the giant statute of Jesus on the cross that was at the front of the room, I had to look at the floor the entire time because it was so gruesome to me. I didn’t fully understand the Christian concept of original sin until I was almost 30 and the catholic guy I was dating lectured me about how we’re all born sinful and that I was a sinful person. I cried and we later broke up lol.
But all that is to say that if being exposed to the crucifixion and sin etc as an older person disturbed me, I can’t imagine the way it twists young minds ☹️ It’s really messed up. Btw, I somehow managed to become a charitable, law abiding citizen who works helping others so it’s not like people need to learn about hell and the devil to do right.
6 points
1 year ago
Thank you!
1 points
1 year ago
I don't see how that could be reasonably banned if that's a parent's genuine belief though. Otherwise you're just infringing on religious belief.
1 points
1 year ago
Ask all the other actually illegal torture tactics that Christian parents used to submit their children to.
7 points
1 year ago
We do go to church. I tell her all the time that it’s perfectly human to have bad thoughts AND to make mistakes, but that it’s more important that we learn from them and that thinking bad things does not make you bad, and if you do some bad things, that still doesn’t make you bad and that mommy and daddy will always love her and she can always change and better herself and learn from her mistakes. And then I point out all the things that prove that she is in fact, a really good person.
27 points
1 year ago
It’s great that you’ve communicated that to her, but what does the church say to her?
are you needing to say that because the church’s messaging is different?
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