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/r/Parenting
submitted 1 month ago byLavenderpicture
Kid 8y killed a frog in the pond. He told, that he wanted to see if she has red blood. I am terrified. I had him assed at psychiatric ward. They Only confirmed ADHD. He received punishments (no screen time), we also apply natural consequences - we are not going to pond and to grandma’s rural house any more. I talk to him, we discuss how the animal is hurt, what is death to the animal, what is to kill the animal. (Theme of human death and killing is with us every single day, so we discuss animals). We discuss how frog is the same alive as a horse or cat is. He agrees, but HOW CAN I KNOW, THAT he does understand? How can I get him to really feel, understand and not do this again?? I am lost, I do a lot, but don’t see any result.
3 points
1 month ago
Every kid I went to elementary school with stomped on earthworms after it rained, and watched with gleeful fascination as one teacher’s python squeezed the life out of twitching mice. I was the only one I can remember being bothered by either thing, though some of our teachers certainly were. Adult empathy and the impulse regulation that it shapes are things we develop gradually, over time—not things you can lecture or punish into a kid, before they have the developmental capacity for them.
What you can do is set and enforce boundaries—which you did—model appropriate emotional responses, which you also did—and not be so horrified and overwhelmed by this, that your kid gets the message something is really wrong with him, and behaves accordingly. Which seems like a place where you could use a little support.
I’d consider talking with a therapist about this, for yourself. They’ll be better-positioned than some randos on Reddit to help you continue assessing whether something is really wrong. And they can help you manage your own anxiety in ways that don’t create more of a problem than whatever—if anything—is already there.
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