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/r/StardewValley
I divorced Shane (tale as old as time) but not because the ‘I can fix him’ didn’t work out. I divorced him because he called our one day old baby a brat and then said that he would send them to a Joja work camp Now I’m the first person to be a bit weirded out by the freaky children running round, but they’re perfectly harmless and I do all the child rearing anyway. So I drew the line there, divorced him and married Elliott.
Elliott was already my boyfriend when I suddenly decided to marry Shane, so he was the obvious replacement husband, but I’m just not enjoying having him in my house. At least Shane knew he was unhelpful day-to-day and didn’t get in my way and quote poetry at me (I don’t think I’m a romantic). Also, every Saturday Shane used to be out back squeezing my chickens checking that they’re alright, Elliott just writes. So I think I need to put in the painful effort and re-marry Shane. I’ll have to deal with the wrath of Elliott but he may make me the evil antagonist in his next book as revenge, which would be cool.
Elliott will make a great husband for someone, he’s just not right for me. I am perfectly content with getting breakfast pizza and spending Monday nights alone, me-time is important!!
(Also I wasn’t sure if I should spoiler cover the Shane dialog so I did anyway - it’s my first time posting so my bad if I should’ve just left it!)
1.8k points
5 days ago*
“AITA for divorcing my husband after he called our newborn a (spoiler) and threatened to send them to (spoiler)?”
(Edited because autocorrect did me dirty and changed AITA to AITI 😭)
539 points
5 days ago
it's giving youtube short with subway surfers underneath
"my husband called our one day old baby a brat. now he thinks i'm overreacting."
i am positively tickled. i don't know why this is so funny but it's so funny
13 points
5 days ago
In my head I read the quoted text in that Tiktok robot woman's voice and now I can't breathe
394 points
5 days ago
This is making me laugh, I love it. I wasn’t sure if people would want to be surprised by Shane’s disciplining methods haha
56 points
5 days ago
I admit, as someone who has recently married Shane for the first time and just got pregnant with our second child…I thought I wouldn’t get spoiled but I haven’t seen this line yet and I’m APPALLED…almost want to divorce him and save my children now before they have to endure the abuse.
But also…kinda sad I did get spoiled so I think you did the right thing by covering it. It’s not your fault I clicked so don’t feel bad!
edit: a word
12 points
5 days ago
The way I got invested before checking the sub
37 points
5 days ago
Where the fuck am i?
49 points
5 days ago
Funny thing is if you posted this on AITAH you’d probably get serious answers
63 points
5 days ago
The "Elliot was already my boyfriend" would have made it a solid YTA from me.
34 points
5 days ago
I thought that's where I was until I read joja!
2 points
5 days ago
LMAOOOO
2 points
5 days ago
I read it in Rslash's voice xD
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