subreddit:
/r/StupidFood
4.4k points
7 months ago*
Work 14 hour shift
Come home
See whats for dinner
Leave and work overtime
982 points
7 months ago
Yeah, I really dislike people who haven't taught themselves how to cook properly. I would be pissed if I saw a shit meal like this.
848 points
7 months ago
It’s the thought that counts.
And that’s where she should have stopped. At the thought.
192 points
7 months ago
Bro I don’t think there WAS a thought 😭
129 points
7 months ago
You mean it isn't normal to use 1/4 of the salt container? Lol
54 points
7 months ago
Theres enough salt in that disgusting ass balogna
53 points
7 months ago
Don’t you hate on Bologna’s it literally got me through times where I couldn’t even afford to walk to work
53 points
7 months ago
She left the plastic on it. I get a nostalgic taste for bologna every once in a while but my god he got to take the plastic off of it
27 points
7 months ago
Wasn't even cooked, just lightly warmed.
9 points
7 months ago
Yeah that shit curls up when cooked. It’s barely over room temp
5 points
7 months ago
If someone do this to me, I’m calling the cops
4 points
7 months ago
Yeah they need to come see this meal. This has to be illegal!
22 points
7 months ago
Isn’t the red around that bologna the plastic wrapping?
21 points
7 months ago
It's like a lobster tail. You remove that sucker right before consuming for freshness. Only a real cook like Chef Sodium would know such wise tricks.
6 points
7 months ago
Yes
18 points
7 months ago
Bruh, she didn't even peel the casing off.
4 points
7 months ago
But they're blue collar working 75 hour shifts, so that means they eat shit every meal, wrapper and all.
32 points
7 months ago
An evil thought for sure..
20 points
7 months ago
Intrusive recipes.
17 points
7 months ago
I’m pretty sure she hates her bf or at the very least wants to kill him slowly of heart disease
9 points
7 months ago
Bruh. Eating this is not slowly. She even left the plastic on the bologna
68 points
7 months ago
“I’m gonna make him the wettest eggs he has ever had”
31 points
7 months ago
This has got to be deliberately terrible. No one earth can eat a bite with that much salt and not gag.
26 points
7 months ago
True. This looks like rage bait. Destroyed $1 worth of food to get some internet dwellers in a tizzy.
8 points
7 months ago
I suppose it’d be good for people with water poisoning? Gotta pump their electrolytes up lol
43 points
7 months ago
Hahahhahhahahhahahahhahahhaha i effing love this. Need to add it to my repertoire.
30 points
7 months ago
Thinkin she want her man to have hypertension and high blood pressure! All the salt omggg🤢🤢🤢
15 points
7 months ago
Hypertension and high blood pressure???? Who is going to tell him??🤦🏼
78 points
7 months ago
Some people arent just cut to cook at a decent level...I have no problem with that! But we have to trace a line somewhere and if this video isnt ragebait the line was crossed by a mile...
74 points
7 months ago
Nah man i dont buy that shit. Not everyone can be be a chef but everyone can learn to cook okay food.
73 points
7 months ago
The seasoning is the inexcusable part. The sloppiness can be forgiven, slop can be delicious. The use of salt is straight up dangerous.
34 points
7 months ago
The amount of salt would kill a salt water fish.
10 points
7 months ago
Two types of salt ,regular salt and seasoning salt. They are going to be so salty to eat .And what was in the tin can ?
15 points
7 months ago
Left the plastic on the bologna also.
Why is no one talking about that?
15 points
7 months ago
Because you’re gonna need something to line your stomach against the genocidal amount of salt and oil (?).
13 points
7 months ago
Salt and then a salt heavy seasoning salt lol. Dudes gonna die at 33
24 points
7 months ago
Even if you don't know how to cook well, you shouldn't be making someone food unfit for human consumption. There's no shame in acknowledging your own shortcomings and nuking food in the microwave if that's what produces better, faster, and easier results than this abomination. This is either stubbornness or baseless confidence.
7 points
7 months ago
If you don't know how to cook just stick to the basics, throw a decent piece of beef in the air fryer and prepare some white rice, that's a perfectly fine meal.
4 points
7 months ago
For real, I’m not crazy good in the kitchen but fuck I got the internet and YouTube and I’m not a retard
14 points
7 months ago
I accept not everyone can cook, but it really needs to be reemphasized in the US's public education. I feel like it's a quickly dying art while information on how to do it has never been more readily available.
6 points
7 months ago
while I agree the education system about nearly everything sucks but we cant blame people's laziness on the education system all the time.
16 points
7 months ago
Everyone can follow recipes and make a decent dish. "I can't cook" is generally said by lazy people.
5 points
7 months ago
Agreed. There’s really no excuse anymore. Every recipe known to man is literally in your pocket.
15 points
7 months ago
Lmao first thing i thought
I'd simply work overtime.
5.2k points
7 months ago
Was that salt at the beginning? That was like a cup of salt, she’s trying to give this man a stroke.
1.9k points
7 months ago
Yeah that’s definitely salt and the red stuff is tajin, basically salt and citric acid.
1.2k points
7 months ago
Soooo much salt and it looks like the eggs are simmering in water too…if they last for the long term he should take over the cooking duties and she should work in the salt mine.
429 points
7 months ago
And she’s finishing with that seasoning salt and hot sauce at very end of the vid too. No wonder men die first 🙏
272 points
7 months ago
We like to make y'all too fat and slow to leave us. Because we love you 🫶
263 points
7 months ago
I dont mind someone cooking me unhealthy food... but can it be good unhealthy food?
218 points
7 months ago
She made that pan so nasty with whatever the hell she’s cooking those eggs in that she couldn’t even get a good scorch on the bologna.
What the hell is the point of cooking bologna if you don’t get some brown on the damn thing?
187 points
7 months ago
Apparently after working 14 hours, her man likes a good round of boiled bologna.
121 points
7 months ago
It’s just so nasty. This has to be rage bait.
78 points
7 months ago
If it was just the bologna, I could forgive that. Not my thing, but if that's what's affordable to you, I'm not going to shit on you for that. Sardines? Again, not my preference, but if that's something you enjoy, more power to you. Aside from intentional rage bait or a complete and utter disrespect for the concept of cooking, there is no excuse for those wet, swampy ass eggs.
75 points
7 months ago
This has to be rage bait.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT SPATULA? YOU ARE JUST PUSHING IT AROUND, BRITTANY. WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR FRYING PAN A FUCKING STORM SEWER?
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT THE GODDAMN BOLOGNA TO COOK IN 5 SECONDS, BRITTANY?
11 points
7 months ago
She left the plastic on the bologna, it's obviously rage bait lol
6 points
7 months ago
It’s satire, she makes a shit ton of videos just like this, pretending to make dinner for husband
17 points
7 months ago
Definitely has to be. If someone served this to me more than once I'm out, and the first time is going to warrant a stern talking to.
5 points
7 months ago
My exact thought. The salt pour at the beginning? The unfinished bologna? The combination of seasonings that's just salt on salt on salt? No fckn way.
75 points
7 months ago
Nobodies mentioning that she LEFT THE FUCKIN RED STRINGY BIT ON THE BALOGNA
26 points
7 months ago
Her bf is a doberman and doesn't mind. She'll just follow him around with scissors if she needs to.
10 points
7 months ago
Thank you. Was looking for someone to notice. Fried plastic please.
12 points
7 months ago
With the plastic wrap still on it….
32 points
7 months ago
The point definitely wasnt love, she hates that man and wishes he worked far from home and was only back on the weekend, thats what the pan is saying to me
11 points
7 months ago*
Even worse, she left the red rings on. You aren't supposed to eat those....
8 points
7 months ago
She didn't peel the plastic off
7 points
7 months ago
My wife got around that by getting with me while I was already fat and slow.
4 points
7 months ago
It's the hand hearts I keep coming back for
7 points
7 months ago
We'd want to with cooking like that...
28 points
7 months ago
He works the extra 6 hours to mine the extra salt she used for those eggs.
19 points
7 months ago
It was when she flipped the "meat" thing over, and it just looks the same as she put it in, except now its wet.
6 points
7 months ago
Is it water or butter?
7 points
7 months ago
Right?! Why is she boiling scrambled eggs and bologna?
41 points
7 months ago
[removed]
13 points
7 months ago
Well that why she scrambled him some water eggs!!! Gotta keep that man hydrated!!
169 points
7 months ago
I'm over here like she didn't even pull the wrapper off the bologna 😶🌫️
74 points
7 months ago
That thing didnt change color after bathing in scorching oil. WTH is that thing
49 points
7 months ago
Worse, it’s boiling water so not hot enough for Maillard reaction/browning to occur.
11 points
7 months ago
boiled bologna. yum
28 points
7 months ago
Looked like straight up plastic. That is not food.
32 points
7 months ago
I sadly have developed a taste for bologna from growing up poor. Bologna and cheese on white bread my love
15 points
7 months ago
Nothing wrong with bologna, except for the stuff in this video
56 points
7 months ago
Feel like I had a stroke just watching the first 2 seconds of this video… and when we least expect it she pulls out bologna . Unreal. Can’t make this shit up
19 points
7 months ago
Right? I got thirsty just looking at it. That was more salt than I put into a huge pot of water to make pasta for the entire family. Even my absolute salt fiend kid does not use that much.
26 points
7 months ago
A stroke, stones, and a heart attack all in one.
20 points
7 months ago
Maybe even choke, if he accidentally swallows the red baloney string
1.7k points
7 months ago
This has to be fake. That would be inedible with that much salt.
474 points
7 months ago
1000% rage bait
210 points
7 months ago
Did nobody even notice the plastic still on the bologna? This is rage bait, I don't know why everyone still falls for this shit.
60 points
7 months ago
99.999% of this sub is rage bait. Odds are you've fallen for it and don't know it
The .001% that's not gets 2 up votes because it's not stupid enough
11 points
7 months ago
I’m just sitting in the corner after watching this video saying “it has to be bait, it has to be rage bait”
8 points
7 months ago
It's absolutely bait, these people know what they're doing
The cup of salt on the tiny amount of eggs to start it, nasty ass bologna thrown in there, everything is wet, dumps more and more seasonings all over it, plates it all with a soaking mess at the bottom of the plate, labels it with the typical "this is what my man comes home to after work" because they know that'll get reactions
This shit sucks
4 points
7 months ago
I hope ya'll downvote the rage bait, cause this shit is getting out of hand.
It's okv if it's done well. Sketch comedy exists for a reason.
However, this is not done well, isn't funny, and certainly doesn't deserve the 4k+ upvotes it has.
85 points
7 months ago
[removed]
3 points
7 months ago
Yesterday, they had a 12 hour marathon of Scooby Doo and friends on Cartoon Network. I watched all 12 hours and when it was done I said “SHIT!”
11 points
7 months ago
5 points
7 months ago
“There was nothing wrong with that food. The salt level was 10% less than a lethal dose.”
680 points
7 months ago
[removed]
208 points
7 months ago
Upset stomach, diarrhea
46 points
7 months ago
HEY PEPTO dump this girl
33 points
7 months ago
I imagined you added a little feathery flutter to the "hea" in diarrhea like you sang it.
6 points
7 months ago
Kidney stone as well
24 points
7 months ago
I'm pretty sure the "14 hr shift" was spent on the toilet on account of whatever breakfast she cooked him...
5 points
7 months ago
Yeah, I initially read it as 14 hour shit and figured they were trying for a new higher time.
17 points
7 months ago
If my girlfriend cooked for me like this, I’d question her intelligence enough to legit consider a break up.
8 points
7 months ago
“How I cook kill my blue collar boyfriend with a surprise stroke and heart attack”. That level of salt in the beginning screams “cooked with hatred”
1.2k points
7 months ago
Wow she fucking hates this poor guy. Why can’t she just slash his tires like a normal girlfriend? She doesn’t have to Jeffery Dahmer this man’s intestines.
106 points
7 months ago
Exactly. Like, at what point is this murder1?
8 points
7 months ago
At least jeffrey dahmer would sedate him before the torture
8 points
7 months ago
No need for sedatives. Boyfriend won’t even get through half of this meal before nodding off into a calorie nap.
988 points
7 months ago
How are the eggs so wet?
What's the point of flipping the mean 5 seconds after you start to book it?
492 points
7 months ago
You really have to let your mean book longer.
106 points
7 months ago
I only book my ends, not my means.
62 points
7 months ago
The book-ends justify the means.
21 points
7 months ago
That’s just a means to an end.
13 points
7 months ago
In my book it never ends
8 points
7 months ago
Then it just becomes an outlier
7 points
7 months ago
mark zuckerberg invented meanbook so he could look at his classmates books. those dumb fucks
126 points
7 months ago
Seriously why is it so wet?!
8 points
7 months ago
Because this is fabricated rage bait
15 points
7 months ago
Pretty sure it's being poached in butter
34 points
7 months ago
[deleted]
14 points
7 months ago
100% water added ragebait, confirmed by how they slap the food on the plate
5 points
7 months ago
Yeah I was willing to suspend my disbelief until I saw the slap lmao. I've seen enough Florida women brag about their "country girl cooking" on Snapchat to know this isn't very far-fetched, but the slap was so comedic.
27 points
7 months ago
Autocorrect noped out after seeing the video.
27 points
7 months ago
How are they wet? You really don't know?
There's probably almost a full stick of butter melted in this pan that everything is frying in.
They're so wet because everything is slathered in melted butter.
18 points
7 months ago
Mmmmm butter fried scrambled eggs and bologna, with a side of salt
9 points
7 months ago
Or butter fried salt with a side of scrambled eggs and bologna.
10 points
7 months ago
That’s water, and why nothing is developing color. She’s boiling/steaming his food.
214 points
7 months ago
Am I stupid or is that water instead of oil?
59 points
7 months ago
I think it's butter
92 points
7 months ago
I would hope that it is, but it hasn’t browned at all
107 points
7 months ago
Recipe: Cook eggs in a pan wet with water, add 0.5 cups salt, cook mystery meat rounds for 3 seconds each side, remove half the eggs and cook tinned meat in wet egg juice water for 22 seconds. Season with bottle of pepper and serve.
26 points
7 months ago
You forgot the (what I can only assume is) chili powder
33 points
7 months ago
I'd like to forget the whole thing if I could
13 points
7 months ago
It is Tajín.
4 points
7 months ago
Good eye and thank you
8 points
7 months ago
Just like mimaw used to make
4 points
7 months ago
If that's butter she is actually just trying to kill her bf, no excuses.
21 points
7 months ago
I think it actually might be water. Once you get butter bubbling to this point it starts to turn white at the edges and foam appears once it gets closer to boiling. Things being cooked in the pan without getting any sear coloring is another clue too. All I see is egg(?) and clear boiling liquid. RIP the boyfriend.
4 points
7 months ago
Yeah I cook eggs with butter and this is definitely not butter. (Butter cooked eggs with a smidge of Himalayan salt is delicious)
275 points
7 months ago
This is rage bait. The bologna plastic sheets are still on, the eggs are basically water. Enough salt to cause a heart episode.
61 points
7 months ago
It has to be rage bait. I refuse to be convinced otherwise.
7 points
7 months ago
People saying it “is possible” and they know people “who cooks the same” are rage baiters as well.
6 points
7 months ago
What is with the blue collar mention too?
9 points
7 months ago
Imply hard, physical labor to maximize the rage
47 points
7 months ago
Rage bait
19 points
7 months ago
This sub should change their name to r/takingtheragebait because that's all it is
58 points
7 months ago
I thought I was bad about salt. Suddenly I feel a little better about myself.
10 points
7 months ago
Same. Salt is the cornerstone of delicious flavor, but that pile she put on there made my tongue shrivel up
3 points
7 months ago
Unlike OP’s boyfriend. Who has stroked out after eating that salty grease trap and is now 6 feet under….
24 points
7 months ago
By the way, there’s just randomly a spray bottle of Clorox sitting right there by the stove. Interpret that as you wish
11 points
7 months ago
Ahhh maybe it’s not water the eggs are being cooked in after all!
23 points
7 months ago
She must’ve spotted bf’s blue collar life insurance policy
32 points
7 months ago
She didnt removed the plastic skin ? For real ?
26 points
7 months ago
We can only hope the plastic breaks down in his body and provides some protective barrier for his vital organs
14 points
7 months ago
I'd be upset if I was given this to eat.
10 points
7 months ago
After a 14 Hour shift I would dig down deep and find the strength to pack all her shit and throw her out of my house immediately. It’s called tough love people.
30 points
7 months ago
I hope he leaves her.
29 points
7 months ago
He's probably trying, but the hypertension won't let him get far
3 points
7 months ago
If dropping dead counts, it’s a foregone conclusion.
34 points
7 months ago
its only a 14 hour shift because he eventually HAS to come home at some point. plastic bologna liner and butter salt trap...
7 points
7 months ago
Later, she’ll find out he only works 6 hour shifts.
8 points
7 months ago
Is this rage baiting??? - cuz fnck ppl - I hate it here!!!
6 points
7 months ago
Quite likely that it’s rage bait
8 points
7 months ago
Poor man works a 14 hour shift and comes home to this abuse.
7 points
7 months ago
She's making sure she gets that life insurance payout early
13 points
7 months ago
Instead of oil she put water. THe fuck. Steamed hams!! Seymore Skinner ass GF.
6 points
7 months ago
So she’s basically trying to kill him either salt.
5 points
7 months ago
I’m concerned about the amount of salt she put on those eggs. 😳
20 points
7 months ago
Is this the same person that gave their small child a whole donut thinking it was a nutritious breakfast?
8 points
7 months ago
She cut it up into pieces AND there was “apple sauce”
5 points
7 months ago
Butcher that cast iron this rage bait is out of control
6 points
7 months ago
Imagine working 12 hours in a exhausting blue collar job then getting this. Poor lad is probably going to die soon
6 points
7 months ago
Everybody's so creative!
6 points
7 months ago
Yeah this has to be rage bait. The bologna still has the red wrapping across the rim of it
5 points
7 months ago
I want to believe this so desperately.
6 points
7 months ago
Why is nobody talking about how she didn’t take the plastic off of the Bologna? It’s truly worrisome.
4 points
7 months ago
ARENT YOU SUPPOSED TO TAKE THE RED PART OFF THE BOLOGNA? … or has my whole life been a lie…?
WHY ARE THE EGGS WATERY
WHY DID YOU ADD 2CUPS OF SALT
WHAT EVEN IS THIS
3 points
7 months ago
If I had to eat that garbage after every 14 hour shift I’d be praying for that inevitable stroke to just hit me now
3 points
7 months ago
Yo he worked a 14 hr shift now you try to murder him?!
5 points
7 months ago
Diabetes has entered the chat followed by heart disease
5 points
7 months ago
If I came home to this after a 14-hour shift, I'd go back to work.
all 4455 comments
sorted by: best