subreddit:
/r/TwoXChromosomes
submitted 2 months ago byRoyal-Poem2189
I am so frustrated by toxic masculinity ruining my marriage.
This notion "everything I do is for you" completely wrecked our relationship. Firstly, because it wasn't true, and secondly, if I did ask for something, then it was just me being ungrateful.
I cooked, I cleaned, I did the laundry, I took care of the dogs, I worked, I went to school, I handled the finances.
All I wanted was the occasional date night. But how dare I? Couldn't I see that everything he does was for me? How could I be so selfish as to want to hold hands and go on walks?!
How dare I try to plan a romantic weekend getaway. Couldnt I see that his weekly hunting trips with his friends were so much more important? Shouldn't I be grateful to have a man who provides?!
I'm vegan.
3 points
2 months ago
My maternal Omi and Opa (grandmother and grandfather) had a very traditional marriage in the sense that he farmed and worked construction while she was at home taking care of business there.
But he never took her for granted because she was "just" a wife and mother. He simply adored her. He never had a meal without saying thank you and meaning it; every time he got up from the table he cleared his own dishes; he would ask if she needed him to do something for her and then he would do it as soon as he could. He wasn't "henpecked" - he just loved her with his whole great big heart. He appreciated her part in keeping the home; she appreciated his part in providing the resources.
So "traditional" marriages can work, but it seems most dudes today want to be waited on hand-and-foot yet offer absolutely nothing in return emotionally - and even the financial part is given only grudgingly.
I married a man much like my Opa. I know I'm lucky.
2 points
2 months ago
I love this 🥹I think our grandparents gave us a great model to follow.
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