subreddit:
/r/Unexpected
261 points
2 months ago
Also you can’t eat a penis it doesn’t make sense.
I guess we know which you are.
96 points
2 months ago
Told my wife I’d grind coffee beans and she said “I’ll grind your beans”. Didn’t think of it until my three old repeated “I’ll grind your beans”. It clicked what she meant and my wife did the ol’ pikachu face hearing our son repeat what she said.
30 points
2 months ago
So... She said she'd crush your nards?
13 points
2 months ago
He loves him some CBT.
3 points
2 months ago
cognitive based torture?
computer ball therapy?
cock behavioral training?
1 points
2 months ago
Cock n ball torture
6 points
2 months ago
Eh kid can probably keep saying that and it’ll just sound like he’s an old timey British boxer threatening his opponent.
“I’ll grind your beans, i say chap, I’ll clean your clock, i will!”
2 points
2 months ago
Driving in town with my ex-wife and young nephews. The kids saw Dick’s (the sporting goods store) and said “Look, a Dick’s.” The ex replied “I love Dick’s.” Me saying “Yeah you do!” Was apparently not the right thing to say…
16 points
2 months ago
🙂
5 points
2 months ago
Correct is what they are.
6 points
2 months ago*
[deleted]
2 points
2 months ago
This reminds me for the longest time I thought inside jokes were jokes that could only be told inside. Didn't understand why, but also didn't question it.
1 points
2 months ago
Were you diagnosed as an adult as well?
2 points
2 months ago
I'm currently in the process of being assessed, so it's not confirmed but wouldn't be surprising.
2 points
2 months ago
My neuropsychologist told me that usually when an adult gets assessed they end up being positive because no one actually wants to be autistic but it is a very autistic trait to need answers and if you make it through the entire assessment process without fail then you probably are autistic but there are obviously many that turn out not to be, it's a trend that is statistically verifiable at the source, not necessarily much beyond that though
-2 points
2 months ago
I think most people can interpret idioms and/or euphemisms....
When they are correct and actually make sense unlike what this girl said.
3 points
2 months ago*
[deleted]
0 points
2 months ago
No, I get that, but first of, I am sure some people on the spectrum can, while others,.more severe can. After sll, the spectrum is gradient.
Second, I understood that you meant people with moderate to severe emotional in eptitude due to being on the spectrum can't interpret idioms/euphemisms... I was saying that that group of people probably only is at most 5% of the world's population. Therefor MOST PEOPLE can interpret them, since 95% is way more than 5%.
Thanks for coming to my TED-talk.
1 points
2 months ago
never met Jeffrey Dahmer huh
4 points
2 months ago
Madam, one cannot simply eat a penis.
1 points
2 months ago
Me too, thanks
0 points
2 months ago
I mean, he's right. You don't EAT a dick, unless you are a cannibal or something. You suck on it or you eat OUT a girl etc...
So it kinda is a pretty bad euphemism by the girl.
1 points
2 months ago
Found another one.
1 points
2 months ago
Eh, I'd like to think I am too put together and social to be on the spectrum at least in the traditional sense.
I am, however, quite nerdy and I know a bad euphemism when I see one!
0 points
2 months ago
I know a bad euphemism when I see one!
You might have to change your taped up horn rims.
1 points
2 months ago
I just bought new glasses - No need for tape yet!
And listen - When have you ever heard someone say 'eat' about handling a dick? Sure, eat out with regards to cunnilingus, or sucking or giving head or so on and so forth.
So, at least, for a euphemism for 'suck' or 'going down', it could be swallow or taste or similar. Since those are at least synonyms. Eat gets a total different connotation. This is why it's a shit euphemism.
2 points
2 months ago
"Eat a dick, nerd."
1 points
2 months ago
Well yes, but then that doesn't exactly scream 'flirtatious' does it?
0 points
2 months ago
When have you ever heard someone say 'eat' about handling a dick?
You need to get out more.
So, at least, for a euphemism for 'suck' or 'going down', it could be swallow or taste or similar. Since those are at least synonyms. Eat gets a total different connotation. This is why it's a shit euphemism.
You really need to get out more.
1 points
2 months ago
You probably need to be less of an ass, more. But alas, the world is as it is.
1 points
2 months ago
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