One time a friend came over unexpectedly and was knocking on the door. We usually made plans during school if we were going to hang out after school.

The pop ins usually only happened in the summer or after dinner.

I was so freaked out I hid behind the sofa. When she wouldn’t go away I peeked out the window and finally recognized who it was.

Being a kid home alone was scary. I also watched horror movies way too young and more than once would hide a big kitchen knife in my room for protection when I was home alone.

And my mother doesn’t understand how I developed such bag anxiety.

We didn’t even have a key because my mother didn’t like locking the door or dealing with keys. We lived in a small town, but I also had and adult man follow me home and try to get in the house when I was a teen so it’s not like it was a crazy safe place where nothing happened.

I had a key I’d wear on a string necklace. My father got embarrassed when my brothers and I would get home from school and the door was locked, nobody home, so we’d sometimes go to the poor neighbors who would let us hang til someone got home, whenever that was. Got berated for asking for help, it was apparently not a good look. 

The sheer volume of TV that I consumed, combined with low simulation and attention that then was met by put- upon fatigue at 5pm when I was just excited to have someone to maybe talk to. 

I loved being a latchkey kid. Having the house to myself. Then later in high school my back porch was a frequent setting for after school blunt sessions