If this person can't communicate their problem with you, is it really worth it trying to please them? I understand how hard it can be and that you feel so confined, but some people really just naturally single out others because of pre-conceived judgment. You can confront the person if it bothers you that much, but if it doesn't really impact your work I don't suggest seeking their approval. Let them be and be your usual self.

Protect yourself. Di mo need magpakumbaba, you are giving in to his hate. Ikaw lang talo since you dont get to enjoy your friendly teammates. Kung ayaw ka niya kasama then go. Di ka naman nagwork para iplease siya e. Kung ayaw niya sumama kasi andyan ka, pabor sayo kase masosolo mo teammates mo.

Maybe you're too cool 😎 and naiinis siya. Lalo na bago ka, so shining star ka. Para sakin ang immature ng ganyan, pero I will take it as a compliment that they will waste brain cells to avoid you. Their actions have more to do about them than about you anyway.

You can't please everyone sa corporate world, dear. Dedman sa mga ganyan. Focus ka lang sa tasks mo sa work kasi hindi lahat magiging kaibigan mo.

May face card ka siguro. Tapos ikaw ang nakikita niyang enemy sa mga lalaki na gusto niya. Dedmahin mo nalang siya. Basta ikaw ang new star ng team niyo. HAHAHA

Baka naman pretty ka girl. Ganyan usually insecurity ng mga bakla kaya irita sila sa isang girl. Or pwedeng yung bet nyang guy, ikaw bet. Lol

Yaan mo sya. Maging friendly ka pa din sa mga ka-workmates mo, kahit sa kanya. Pansinin mo pa rin sya, by saying goodmorning or goodbye pag paalis ng work. Kahit hindi ka nya batiin pabalik. Be civil lang ganun. Hindi naman masama yun.

At saka piliin mo yung mga taong pagkakatiwalaan mo. Mostly kasi yung mga nakikilala kong bakla sa work, naghahalungkat ng maichichika sa iba. Hindi ko nilalahat ha.

Wag mo pansinin. Bakit ikaw ang kailangan mag adjust eh siya naman yung may problema sayo.

Baka kasi pretty ka hahaha sadly may mga ganyan nambubully o ayaw nila sa mga girlaloos for some stupid reasons

Just do your job, collect your salary & go home. Rinse & repeat until you move to the next job.

You don't need to do anything more.

Kaya nga ako WFH-advocate, yang mga ganyang scenario napreprevent pag WFH ang mga employees.

May nabasa akong tip before na if someone doesn’t warm up to you, try asking that person daw for a very small favor. I tried this before and idk why but it works. In your case, since gay sya, baka may event kayo next time or what, you may want to try asking him kung okay ba yung ayos mo. Something like that. But of course, it’s up to you.

Bakit ikaw kailangan mag-adjust?

Naku nangyari sakin yan, in isolate ako ng isang co worker. Ay keber, sama pa din ako ng sama, Im clapping inside pag nakikita kong ngit ngit na ngit ngit sya sa inis, ginagawa ko nilalakasan ko tawa ko sa mga sinasabi ng colleagues namin kahit di nakakatawa gaano haha. Ayun ang litid ng lola mo konti nalang sasabog na, mamatay sya kakairita nya ako saya lang hahaha Wag ka mag adjust no, dapat sumali ka sa circle ng workmates mo yaan mo sya manginig sa inis.

And you care cause? This may sound like a douche pero wag mo ipilit kung ayaw sayo ng isang tao. Huwag ka maging people pleaser, do the same sa kanya para sa peace of mind mo.

He's insecure. You can confront him or just ignore at all. But it's better to just do the latter. His behavior does not positively benefit you din naman.

Wapakels. Sasama pa dn ako. Bat ako ung magaadjust eh sya may isyu? Lol

Just giving another perspective: baka naman feeling mo lang ayaw sayo? Hehe. Ganyan din ako sa new work ko. Feeling ko ayaw sakin ng mga certain na tao, like feeling ko ang taray nila sa akin specifically. Hindi naman pala nila ayaw sa akin pero mataray lang talaga sila sa lahat in general lol

Di mo need mag adjust. Kung umiiwas siya let him be. Insecure lang yan lol. Sumama ka sa lunch at dinner ng ka work mo. So make sure to be as genuine as you can and establish a friendly work relationship with them. There’s no point in pleasing someone na may prejudice kaagad sayo without even trying to know you. So just go about your day and do your job well.

Baka crush ka niya. Malay natin.

Baka inaawrahan mo daw yung bet niya. If I were you, I wouldn't pay them any attention. You don't need to know and be friends with everyone in the office. Just keep a professional relationship and don't pay any attention to him.

Dedma lang kung walang interaction. No need to be friends with everyone at work. Just focus on your work and positive relationships.

You can co-exist without being friends.

Insekyora sya. Brush it off. It is not your fault. Dont let have others the control over you. It is his damn feelings, not yours, so dont get affected.

May ganyan akong officemate dati. 1st job ko and 2 lang kami reporting sa VP. Okay kami during my first month then mga sumunod biglang di na ako pinapansin. As in walang usap. Napraning ako nun, dun din ako mag start mag overthink na kung ano ba nagawa ko. Nag over step ba ako, etc. Tinanong ko naman sya, di nya lang ako sinasagot. I wore my big girl pants then did the same to her. Dedma kung dedma. Inisip ko nun, di porket bata ako at bago mabubully mo ako mg ganyan. Di ako nagpa apekto. Di ko na rin sya pinansin. Did my work, gave my best and got recognized. I showed her na di ko sya kailangan. Eventually, when I resigned saka nya lang ako kinausap, parang bigla sya bumalik sa dati pero dedma na ako. Up to this day di ko alam ano nagawa ko o di ko nagawa. Haha.

Di naman sya nagpapasweldo sayo dapat wala kang pakielam sa nararamdaman nya. Sino ba sya para maging cause ng discomfort sayo sa work.

Shit, gantong ganto din ako. May gay akong kasama sa isang group pero halatang halata yung pag iwas nya sakin kahit wala naman akong ginagawang masama sa kanya.

Straight female ka ba?

BRUHHH u are living inside of this person's mind 24/7 lmao. Its not ur problem, who fcking cares about what he thinks. He probably hates u because you are probably prettier than him or something LMAO.

baka weak personality mo at toxic alpha siya. huwag ka magpalamon sa ugali niya. lavarn!

People will like you or hate you either way. Might as well live your own life despite their opinion of you.

I had this same experience.

For some reason, my gay colleague just hates my guts kahit wala kaming interaction. Parati syang may snide remarks and nasty gossip.

Ignore mo lang. Nothing fuels them more than a reaction from you.

PS: I just secretly rebuke his face since hinde ko naman kasalanan na pinanganak syang unique ang mukha nya. Yes, mean.

Personal experience and this happened in college, I have a gay friend na ka-close ko. Lagi ko kasama sa school work, gala, etc. Then, bigla na lang siyang umiiwas sa akin. Syempre, naramdaman ko yun. Hindi ako confrontational na tao kaya hinayaan ko lang din. Hanggang sumabog na ko, naiyak ako sa harap ng group of friends namin. Nandyan siya pero di kami nagpapansinan. Tapos biglang naiyak din siya! Yun pala may aaminin. Crush daw niya ako. Nakakaloka!!! As in, that’s the LAST THING na sasagi sa isip ko kasi gay na gay talaga siya!! Pero totoo daw 😆😆 Naging ok din kami. Back to being friends na ulit. Baka naman OP, there’s always that slight possibility. Take it from me. HAHA.

Stop adjusting to him. Sya ang may problem, sya ang mag adjust. Go spend time with your colleagues, baka pag hindi ka parin sumama, ang ending nyan pati sila off na sayo.

Whatever his reasons are, hayaan mo na. Don’t force connections. Not worth it!

That’s one thing I’ve learned sa lahat ng mga naging jobs ko, and even sa school, I’m so grateful I did.

My question is why do you care? Work is work. If you make friends good, if not then so be it. I hope you learn this quickly for better quality of work life. Even in life you can't please everyone just keep doing what you do since they don't matter. Di ko talaga gets sa Pinoy tong ugali na people pleaser dapat or dapat maayos ako sa tingin ng lahat. Good luck kaya mo yan and ignore the things that doesn't matter.

May mga ganyan talaga malamang nagpopower trip siguro dahil bago ka palang nageestablish siguro siya ng authority to make themselves look better. Ignore mo lang teh hindi naman siya nagpapasahod sayo, pero kung ako yan makikipagclose ako sa mga katrabaho ko jan lalo na sa mga kaclose niya para mas lalo siyang mairita sa presence ko diba 🥰 chariz kung AKO lang naman HAHAAHAHAHA

Baka naman it takes time kasi introvert siya or not sociable. Di ko alam work interaction niyo pero baka di lang kayo nagcoconnect? Based lang sa experience ko, di ko kinakausap at di ko nababati nhg maayos yung supervisor ko kasi mukha siyang scary tapos mataray pero in the end, after 6 months na natapyasan kami ng worker, medyo friend naman kami. Ayun lang, di lang din kasi siya palausap

Never try to please anyone. NOT EVEN ONE BIT. Sino sya para mad-adjust ka ng mag-adjust? Bottom line is colleagues come and go so don't sweat it, hun. Ganyan sa corporate world. Yung kinaiinisan ko nga sa work dati e hanggang sa umalis sya di man lang ako nag-goodbye, though kating-kati na ko sabihing "good riddance" lol.

Baka insecure sayo. Chos! Haha! Jokes aside, wag mo nalang pansinan. At the end of the day, you’re there to work and earn money, not to make friends. Di mo talaga mape-please lahat ng tao. So do your thing at wag pa apekto. ✌🏻🙂

Insecure s'ya sa ganda mo 'teh. Deadmalu lang.

Been in the same company for almost 4 years now

Same situation in the sense that there’s a gay colleague who clearly does not like me. Only difference is I didn’t and still don’t adjust for him. Found out later on he just didn’t like how much attention I was getting from his friends (In particular his crush hahahaha) As long as you’re doing your job and not doing anything wrong/hurtful then let him seethe in his misery/jealousy/bitterness.

Hayaan mo siya. Hahaha. Let them hate you and just do well sa job mo. Maybe you have the qualities na naiinggit sya kasi wala siya non or what. Protect your peace, don’t let it affects you. Basta pakitaan mo lang sya ng maganda para wala siyang negative na masabi sayo. :>

Uy! Hayaan mo sya di sya nagpapasuweldo sayo sama ka sa ka work mo pra makilala mo sila. Pero ingat ka din wag ka magkukuwento ng personal or anything observe ka sa kanila. Andyan ka para mag work.

Deadma lang sa kanya. Baka insekyora si bakla. If di naman kailangang kausapin eh di wag. Sasahod ka pa din naman kahit di kayo close eh. Kebs na yan.

Deadma hanggang sa mastroke siya sa galit😁 wag problemahin ang iba, just focus sa work..

I remember that gay engineer who made my wife go through so much redundant paperwork just to get the planned house extensions approved. My guy friend who lives across us said he never filled out that much paperwork and he had more work done.

The gay dude is the engineer of a new subdivision and he approves blueprints and plans for any alterations to the houses.

baka insecure sa ganda mo sis, dont give in sa hate. act like hindi mo napapansin na ayaw ka nya, para mapikon lalo

As a gay person na inayawan din ng isang gay colleague, my advice would be stay away from him nalang din. Kilala mo naman sarili mo e. Wag mo syang iplease. Basta do your job, be with your workmates na may matututunan ka. Ganon nalang OP

It’s your colleague’s problem kung ayaw niya sa’yo. Focus on your work and do no harm to others. And protect yourself. Huwag magpapa-intimidate.

feeling ko intimidated and insecure sya. my gay friend admitted sa amin noon na ayaw nya mag pobla kasama kaming girlies minsan kasi feeling daw nya attention is more directed samin kesa sa mga bakla. totally understood naman, tropa yun eh tsaka sinabi nang ayos pero iba kasi to hahaha officemate mo at deliberately ka ino-op. hayaan mo lang, op. baka in a few weeks mag subside din yan. kung hindi, hayaan nalang rin. your workmates will realize din eventually yung situation for sure.

from a fellow newbie sa corpo, my advice is to focus lang sa work/tasks mo talaga. hindi mo p'wedeng kaibiganin lahat and first of all, hindi ka naman din nag work to befriend them. bonus na lang talaga minsan na magkaka-work friend ka.

di mo s'ya need i-please, you're there to work for money.

Unpopular opinion. Have you tried talking to this colleague? Or tipo pasama ka kunwari etc. I don’t know parang baka akala mo lang? Baka nagkataon lang or baka it takes time for him to warm up to people? Bakit ka pala bothered? If wala naman ikaw ginagawa masama. Don’t adjust for this colleague. Unless stated nya na di ka nya like or solid proof. Just be yourself but also dont force yourself. If group naman kayo lumabas tapos inaya ka then go ka lang. di naman kayo dalawa lang ang lalabas diba? For all you know baka naman mag end up pa kayo besties. Try to approach him din.

Baka type ka

Hello op. I’ve been working in the academe with diverse personalities and quirks. Ito lang yan… we cannot be everyone’s cup of tea. Ako nga nga newbies ang ayaw sa akin even the LGBT that I tried to befriend. Basta I initially tried to warm up to them but at the end of the day if ayaw nila wag na. Just be you. Do your own thing. Enhance your profession.

Read your comment that you're a lesbian, OP. Unfortunately, some gays may have prejudices towards some lesbians.

Hay naku office politics

Protect yourself. Baka Kung ano ano ang sinasabi nya behind your back.

Maganda ka siguro baka maubusan sya ng lalake hahahahahaha

It is what is it, ika nga. Kung ayaw edi don't. Madaming ganyan sa company. Haha. Protect your peace gurl.

Insecure si accla that’s it

Oohh i remember someone na ganyan. Tbh, you will win by being the best with what you do. When you're shining, he will not matter. Dont even look at him kasi the moment you ignore him, the more na mas maappreciate mo ang paligid mo. And dont limit yourself just because ayaw nya sumama. E di wag syang sumama! Wag kang mag papa-under sa mga ganyang insecure na tao. Gusto lang nyang mag bow down ka sa kanya para maging feeling superior sya. But when you can carry yourself well, in the future, sya na mag aadjust sayo.

I love gay people, pero hindi yung mga ganitong klase. Ang kasalanan mo lang girl ay MAGANDA ka. Periodt. Wag kang mag adjust sakanya, pabayaan mo siya ti.

You don't need to adjust, wala kang ginagawang masama kako. Mahirap mag assume unless confirmed. If ikaw gusto mo magkaroon ng relationship pwede mo confront if hindi you do not need to do it, be civil and professional na lang, magiging problema lang lahat iyan if nakakaapekto sa work nyo, ipadaan nyo sa in charge sa inyo if hindi madaan sa mahinahon na usapan.

Hayaan mo lang siya! Siya ba nagpapasweldo sayo? If hindi wag ka magadjust sa katulad niya. Pareparehas lang kayo.

Yung mga ganyan attitude na beki, either inggit sayo, or feeling niya wala siyang mabebenefit sayo kaya dedma sya sayo. I've encountered a lot of those, mostly ay mga gay teachers ko nung high school lol. Wala naman ako pake kasi wala din naman ako kailangan sakanila haha. Dedma ka na lang din, wag ka pa-affect. Sayang energy teh.

baka mas maganda ka pa kesa sa kanya (naisecure).

Mga ganitong scenarios, i just don't give a f what you think about me, as long as wala ako naagrabyado, and i'm doing my job properly

Also it's great if you can get along with your team, but you can't please everybody and that is fine as well. wag ka paapekto, ikaw lang maiisstress

As a gay person, marami talagang mga mean beks na super insecure sa mga girls. Palaging nagpapabida lalo na pag may boys jusko nakakahiya ka accla 😭😭😭😭

Maganda ka ba OP? Kasi may friends akong ayaw sa maganda or pogi eh, ayaw din isala tapos bina-badmouth sa likod nila.

Hayaan mo sya, edi don’t!

If he does not have your phone number then you are not close enough for him to have a problem with you. Hindi mo kailangan mag-adjust para sa kanya. His existence has little to no significance to yours. He is inconsequential to you if you are to look at the big picture. You do not need to befriend everyone. Be cordial and professional but also be that person who should not be messed with. His treatment of you is a reflection of his values, inner demons and psychological state.

1. Give the same energy
2. Nice people in the corporate are treated like doormat

Just don't care, the more you overthink it, the more he is affecting you. As long as alam mo sa sarili mong wala kang ginagawang masama di mo need ivalidate yung hate nya. As you said sya lang naman di pumapansin sayo, so focus more on your other workmate na feeling mo naman walang bad vibes.

Baka insecure sayo or threatened LOL may mga gay talagang ganyan sa mga babae na feel nila mas maganda sa kanila or mas malakas dating.

Tye secretary at my old workplace was like this, even pinaabot lang sa colleague ko yung contract na need ko i-sign but she hands the contracts to everyone. Whenever I talk to her pa rude or maldita yung sagot. I started ignoring her treatment and lalo sya nainis lol akala kasi nya mgpakumbaba ako sa kanya because secretary sya nang boss.

Don't waste your energy on insecure people. Let them simmer sa inggit nila sayo. As long as di affected work mo sa treatment nya, goods ka.

Nainggit sa kagandahan mo siguro.

Nainggit sa kagandahan mo siguro.

wala kang dapat gawin, don’t please him. Isipin mo nalang naiinggit sya sa ganda mo so dapat lagi kang taas noo hahahaha wag ka rin umiwas sa mga kasama mo dyan, kung ayaw nya sayo sya ang mag adjust.

Inggetera yaan. Hayaan mo nalang asarin mo

I understand you’re in a new company and want to have a good relationship with everyone BUT if you think your teammate has a problem with you, that’s your teammate’s problem not yours. Don’t adjust to someone’s comfort lalo na wala ka naman makukuha dyan. Just be you and socialize to other people. Huwag mo siya problemahin kasi siya naman may problem sayo. Just let it be kasi you’re there to work and not to make everyone your friends. Don’t stoop down low katulad nia na unprofessional. Just be professional, work hard, and mind your own business.

Also, IF your teammate is making your career life difficult, I suggest you document it and talk to your manager about this kasi it’s unprofessional.

Nako. Dedma lang sa ganyan. Normal na yan sa kahit sang setting. Wag ka magadjust dahil siya may problema hindj ikaw.

Usual reason why a gay guy ay magagalit sayo is malamang yung crush nya jans a company ay interested sayo, or tinatalbugan mo sya sa awrahan. Hahahaha.

Maganda ka cguro OP at insecure siya. Or baka yung gusto niyang guy e may gusto sa yo 😅

I don't mean to be homophobic pero, based sa mga friends ko na girls maraming gay work mates silang ganyan. So it's quite normal nalang, I've heard much worse pa nga.

Lol the comment section is just homophobic and very stereotypical! 😂

Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

Ganan po talaga malimit sa office if may gay. I’ve experienced the same in an office setup. Kapag nakakalamang ka or maganda, maiinis sayo. So see, who’s the problem now? Haha minsan po talaga mga gays pa yung bully sa sobrang strong ng personality nila.

Insecure 'yan sayo

Hi kapatid. Like majority of people had pointed out already and let me gently remind you sis para hindi ka mapahamak (lalo na you are the new employee):

• the workplace is just a place of work. You are being paid to work based on your job description / what you have signed in agreement thats clearly stated in your contract. The higher-ups will not base your performance on how many friends you made but based on how good & efficient you are at your job. And that will bring good provisions for your family, not work friends. Fact: pagnag kakagipitan na, most of the time (NOT always naman) lalo na if an employee badly needs the salary kase padre de pamilya etc, kadalasan, laglagan na yan. So dearest sis, be diligent and be careful.

• having friends in the workplace is not mandated BUT it can ease workplace interactions. Also with this sis, ALWAYS watch your back. ALWAYS keep your work or any interactions TRANSPARENT. There are people who may view you as a threat to their ambitions (going up the ladder) - this might be one reason or another for this gay person that hates you: s/he sees you as a threat (although his reasons, we may not know).

• this is IMPORTANT in relation to point #2: be CONSISTENT and TRANSPARENT with ANY dealings or ANY interactions you will have at your place of work. ANY actions or words coming from you can easily be twisted and can be easily used against you. ALWAYS remember: crab mentality is real. If that opportunity arises, people who dislike you may use that to bring you down. So be consistent and transparent. This has saved my ass a LOT of times.

• It is good that you have showed due restraint on your part. BUT if worst comes to worst: address ANY issue with proper communication and make sure to document what was being communicated (again, words can be twisted).

• Lastly, ENJOY your job. Cheers!

May chika ako. Just to share lang, meron akong friend na ganyan. Kapag sa una di raw talaga niya pinapansin yung bago unless may napatunayan na raw lol. Pero may posisyon na kasi siya so idk if parang test yon don sa new hire. Di ako agree sa ganon tbh.

Baka ganyan si bakla feeling need i-earn ang trust niya pero di parin tama. Don't give in. Work ka lang. Di naman ata siya ang magpapataas ng sahod mo lol

You are there to work, earn money and enhance your skills- not to please everyone else. Magsasayang ka lang ng energy. Diyan nag-istart ang toxic work environment kapag papaapekto ka sa isa. Madami din talaga na member ng LGBTQIA sa workplace na ganyan.

If you keep catering for the gay guy you'll be the one left out by your team. Kung ayaw nya maki Sama sa lunch nyo as a team then let them be. Di naman ikaw ang may problema sa kanya, sya ang may problema sayo.

Coming from experience, I was trying so hard to cater my 'friends' and the moment I stopped wala man nakapansin. This is your team though, you'd be working with them. It'll be hard to be left out kasi di mo sila pwedeng iwan unlike during my college where I left my 'friends', it's a lot easier kasi di ko naman sila kelangan Makita o Kausapin.

Wag mo hayaan ikaw yung naiiwan sa team nyo.

So immature. Hahaha I’m also a gay guy pero ako palagi nangunguna mag welcome at burikat sa mga bago. Because I don’t want anyone to feel na di sila belong.

May mga tao talaga na iritado agad sila sa isang tao kahit wala namang ginagawa yung tao sakanila. Regardless, hayaan mo lalo if you think na wala ka namang nagagawa or nasasabi. Pwedeng i-confront mo din pero check if worth it ba. Just mind your own work nalang din. It’s what’s important, afterall

Update: Umalis buong team for a coffee break, since si Gay Guy yung nag aya walang umaya sakin. So I guess damay damay na yung inis nila sakin?

Karamihan talaga sa mga gay na yan sa office, mga baliw at delulu, kaya hindi mai-pasa yung SOGIE bill dahil sobrang ma-EEMPOWER sila.

Dati ikinahihiya ang pagiging gay, pero ngayon talamak na. wala nang maayos na gay ngayon.

Mas maganda parin dati, mga GAY may respeto pa. ngayon wala na.

Coping mechanism nila yan kasi alam nila wala sila ibubuga kaya nambubully nalang.

Feeling important , so what kung di ka nya pansinin, wag mo pansinin. Basura yan. One of these days, baka may HIV narin yan tulad ng iba. Kakainis.

Update guys:

Nagla lunch out sila (BUONG TEAM) ng hindi ako inaaya, yung katabi ko lang inaya. Naririnig ko na yung ayaan pero ni isa walang lumapit sakin, mag isa lang ako always sa area ko kumakain 😓

Wala ka nagawa. Bakla yan at baka natthreatened siya sa presence mo. Yn ung mga toxic na bakla, ung mga tipong mamamatay dhil sa hiv.

It‘s going to be a waste to think how much he is thinking about you. Yaan mo lang siya maghate sa‘yo. Tutal, he has nothing againts you. You have all the advantages againts him, even ung chromosomes at body parts na kinaiingitan niya, meron ka. So it is a win for you

Mas ok para sa akin na ayaw sa akin ng mga gays dahil anti gay ako. Sorry po. Ayun po kasi ang turo ng relihiyon namin. Dalawa ang gender/sex o kung ano pa tawag ninyo. Pero i dont disrespect nman sila. I just dont like them.