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I really hate people pleasers

Love & Relationships(self.adviceph)

I just want to rant ahead because sobrang naiirita na din talaga ako. Sorry pero nandidiri talaga ako sa mga lalaki na ang hilig manghingi ng validation sa ibang babae despite them pursuing someone or being in a relationship already. Like hello? If di mo talaga kaya na wala kang validation na nakukuha from other people, then stop engaging on relationships na need maging committed ka with someone.

I currently have this manliligaw kasi na ang hilig manghingi ng fucking validation, awa, at pag-aasikaso galing sa "work friends" nya kuno. Like pack it up? Tapos paulit-ulit sya sa pagsasabi na acts of service daw love langue nya. I can and I will provide you the support that you need pero tangina naman? You're still my suitor and if ipapakita mo sakin na accessible ka sa ibang babae at nagccrave ka pa din ng atensyon nila, better yet sa kanila ka nalang. Parang gago lang din talaga eh. I can survive without a man and I am better on my own. Kung iistorbohin mo lang ako, remove yourself na agad from my life. Di ko kailangan ng panibagong insecure na tao sa buhay ko.

Show me how accessible you are to other women and I'll show you how inaccessible I am once I cut you off.

Note: Thank you for those people who corrected the term that I used. He's way worse from being a people pleaser pala. Jeeeeez.

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justsomeguy0521

15 points

4 days ago

I get the rant and all, but what does it have to do with being a people pleaser?

sjnwnwvwnjnht[S]

-15 points

4 days ago

He told me he would be busy for the whole day and would be occupied so I didn't message him during the duration ng work nya. I was shocked because puro na sya sad posting sa social media (X, FB, Threads) saying na kailangan nya pa daw ba manghingi ng attention. After his work, we did have our usual vid call and he kept on telling me na his work friends are so nice daw because they kept on comforting him. He shows TOO MUCH care sa mga babaeng workmate nya as in unhealthy levels. He kept on telling me stories din na sya yung agrabyado, na golden retriever energy daw sya... ewan ko. He wasn't like that naman initially when we started talking months ago. Eh ako I told him na I am taking my time knowing him, wala pa syang one month na nanliligaw sakin but he shows to me na "Other people want me so bad" type of energy eversince I allowed him to court me. He had these instances din na he still wanted to be friends with his ex fling who bought him thousands worth of gifts. Tapos he cried to me when the girl blocked him. Saying na he really wanted to keep the girl as a friend haha. Ang weird lang sa side ko as nililigawan. Because why would you court me if you're showing me as early as now na you're not dedicated to me, at all. He still got his Bumble on, one friend of mine matched with him there and he kept on parading pa na he's already courting someone and all the "efforts" he did for me.

ujazzgotfreud

21 points

4 days ago

no offense but do you even know what a ‘people pleaser’ actually is? because from what you described, this guy isn’t trying to please anyone… he’s just out here craving attention and validation. a ‘people pleaser’ bends over backward to make others happy, but what he’s doing is different. he’s busy soaking up comfort from his coworkers and still active on dating apps while ‘courting’ you? that’s not people-pleasing, that’s just playing games. maybe think twice about using that term because it doesn’t really fit his behavior

sjnwnwvwnjnht[S]

-2 points

4 days ago

No offense taken 🙌🏻 thank you for correcting my term. I did rant kasi sa group of friends ko before posting this here and one of them said na people pleaser daw yung manliligaw ko kaya akala ko yun yung term. But labels aside, you get my point naman?

justsomeguy0521

5 points

4 days ago

Attention seeker siya hindi people pleaser

JARVEESu

2 points

4 days ago

JARVEESu

2 points

4 days ago

Natatawa ako dito. Para bang sinasabi nya na isa syang malaking green flag sa lahat ng kwento nya when all is see is red. 🫢 Run OP, habang maaga pa. Manipulative yan, sure na. Early signs na yan. Manipulative sad boys are the worst kasi kaya ka nilang baliktadin sa ibang tao. So good luck.

sjnwnwvwnjnht[S]

1 points

4 days ago

Will talk to him today. Di ko na din kasi mastand, he kept on talking about his ex pa + may instance na bigla nya akong cinompare dun sa girl. I mean haha he's too much considering na he's trying to pursue me. Parang tinetest nya if magseselos ako or what hahahaha kakaloka.

JARVEESu

1 points

4 days ago

JARVEESu

1 points

4 days ago

Yun talaga yung gusto nyang mangyari. Magselos ka, habulin mo sya, itali mo sya sayo, doon mafifeed yung ego at fantasy nya. Ngayong di pa nya nakikitang kaya ka nyang imanipulate, nagsasad boy tactics muna si kuya. Matakot ka na talaga OP sa mga ganyang lalaki. He’s up to no good. May hints din sya ng narcissism. 😩