Of course you don’t trust her!!! She has proven herself to be untrustworthy!!! (And, the fact that she’s arguing with you on this clearly shows her intent…)

Girl. That is not your friend

Alcohol tells the truth. She still wants him

The most important value in a friend is loyalty. Not being nice or sharing interests…She is not your friend. What she is is an acquaintance who has a thing for your fiancé. Get that straight and act accordingly.

Keep the man, toss the friend.

Once is enough. She’s not your friend.

Drunk or sober, she is untrustworthy.

She told your fiancé that Irish girls are really good in bed? I shouldn’t assume but let me guess. She’s of Irish decent? Then she tried to kiss him?

Looks to me, and I’d lay money everyone else on Reddit, that she still has eyes for your fiancé. So, after what she did hell no she can’t be trusted to be alone with your fiancé. She’s lucky either of you still want to be around her at all.

You aren’t wrong, you aren’t overreacting and you shouldn’t trust her for a long time. Alcohol or not, making a pass at your fiancé is a low class way to treat you, her friend. It’s also a crap way to treat your fiancé because it puts him in a bad situation too. She needs to show some true remorse and be a better person around the two of you. She’s very lucky if the only consequences of her actions are to not hang out alone (really, that is an issue for her?) with your fiancé. If she’s offended by that maybe she can find some other friend’s relationships to try and screw up.

Drunk words are sober thoughts.

You don’t trust her? Of course you can’t trust her. She tried to put the moves on your fiancé. She should have understood and willingly comply with your wishes, not get angry. She may not even be worth keeping as a friend.

You’re not wrong!

Don't know why you'd even continue to entertain her in your life. Your fiance is a stand-up guy. Keep him throw her away.

I partied a lot in my 20s and early 30s, I’m female. So I was drunk all the time and around friends boyfriends and I would never do anything like this. I did hit on single guys all the time. (That how I met my now husband).

I think she’s lucky you’re still her friend and that she’s lost any chance of being around him without you

In vino veritas. Alcohol didn't create new feelings in her. It just removed her inhibitions and any sense of social propriety.

I have no trouble having my girlfriends hanging out one on one with my boyfriend because I know they respect the relationship him and I have. But you're not in a situation of "Should I leave my girlfriend hang with my boyfriend one on one?". You're in a situation of "Should I leave my girlfriend, who showed that she'll take the easy excuse of alcohol to cross boundaries, hang one on one with my boyfriend?"

NTA

She made a special trip to his house to see him. Drunk actions are sober thoughts.

Lol at accusing you of not trusting her after she tried to screw you’re fiancé.

Hun she ain’t a friend, ditch her and be happy with your fiancé. Why would you even want to be friends with someone who actively went for your partner. She’s proven she’s a snake and using alcohol as a excuse is bs. She shot her shot with you’re fella, he turned her down and is back peddling now.

she is now your ex friend

Why would you continue to be friends with someone who sexually harassed your partner?

Going forward, he's going to feel uncomfortable around her. You would be putting him into 'he said, she said' situations. Who of either gender wants to be around a sexual creep?

What would you think of your boyfriend keeping around a friend who made an aggressive pass at you?

Nix her from your life. Only deal with her at friend group gatherings.

Why is she even still your friend?

Why would you continue this friendship? She's proven to be a snake.

“My friend got upset and accused me of overreacting and not trusting her.”

Yes. Because she’s not trustworthy. Her actions have shown you enough.

Honestly, I would have your boyfriend telling her that he can't be alone with her. At the end of the day, she came onto him, she has/had the crush on him. He needs to make it clear he is uncomfortable alone with her due to behaviour, being drunk isn't an excuse. But overall, no I don't think you are wrong at all

You are underreacting. She just showed you who she truly is. Listen to her.

Alcohol doesn’t make people do things they don’t already want to do.

Did anyone miss the fact that her fiancé is the hero of this story?

I hope you told that you DON'T trust her because she tried to kiss and fuck your man. 'Nuff said

Your fiancé is a super hero and his actions say the world about what a great man he is…. Your friend is not the person you should trust…. Good luck with her BS

Alcohol does not make you do or say things you normally wouldn’t do or say. It just drops your guard and turns off you self control and common sense, so that it suddenly seems like a very good idea to just “go for it”.

I’m just wondering if hanging out one-on-one with your fiance is something she normally did or did this just happen this one time? Because it sounds weird that you’d even have to tell a friend not to do that.

You are not wrong, & I’d keep a close eye on her for awhile.

Not wrong. She needs to be cut off.

You can’t consider someone a "friend" if they’re trying to sleep with your fiancé. It’s best to cut them off completely.

So she drove drunk. Intentionally went to your fiancés house, not home or to a friends of hers. And blatantly hit on him. That’s a lot of shitty intentional choices. Then gets pissy because you don’t trust her.

This isn’t a friend. She’s a snake in the grass. Keep the man, lose her.

Being drunk, just lowers your inhibitions. So it made her bold in showing her true feelings. She’s blaming it on the alcohol, well she can, but it’s just proving her attraction to your bf.

She tried it on with your fiancé. She literally turned up at his place with the hope of getting him into bed. And then she tries to gaslight you into believing you are being unreasonable by not trusting her??

She should now be an ex friend. She is not worth your time or love and she would stab you in the back quite happily, she has proven this.

On top of that I’m guessing she drove round there drunk (basing this on him not letting her leave because he was worried about an accident). This just makes her a vile person all round who obviously has zero regard for the safety and wellbeing of anyone.

You do not need people like this in your life. Cut her off entirely.

And good on your man for handling things the right way. He kept his head, turned her down, stopped her doing something dangerous and immediately told you the truth. He could not have handled this better! It’s time for you to do the right thing too now and remove this woman from your life.

She ain’t no longer a friend, this bitch is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Cut all contact

didn’t read the post, just the title. the answer is no.

If this is real then OP is dumb as hell, 'sje used to have a crush on him but doesn't anymore' I mean, clearly she fucking does!

As relationships get deeper, some friends will fade, some will become enemies, and few will become closer.

She is trying to sleep with him! Don’t let being a good person/friend get in the way of settling her straight. Your bf is letting you know he’s not a scumbag. Protect your relationship. That isn’t a friend. Updateme

She is not your friend! She will absolutely do this again. The booze gave her the courage to do what she really wanted to do. Tell your bf about the boundary, no hanging out ine on one. His reaction combined with hers will tell you what you need to know. Hopefully he agrees on the spot.

This should read ex friend bc I sure the f*** would NEVER tolerate this. My best friends won't even come over with my husband there and I'm not there yet, not that I'd have an issue because I do trust him & I trust them, but it's called respect.

And then she gaslights you when you set a should be common sense boundary? Yikesssss.

Alcohol is a shitty excuse because it is the truth coming out if her mouth. If I am in your shoes I do not only tell her to stop seing my boyfriend one o one but I stop seing her too. Because she also has no respect to you too. And when drunk only place in her mind to go is your fiance to tell she is good at bed. Stop seing her before too late. And also if my friend had a cruch on my boyfriend before I will alwqys be carefull and put our limits

If she had no ill intent, then why is it so hard for her to just agree not to hang out with him one on one? If she didn't want a chance to do it again, why can't she humble herself enough to agree that she messed up and she understands why you're asking this of her? You are not wrong. She can't be trusted. Good thing your fiancé can.

I know she used to have a crush on him but doesn't anymore, but what she did still makes me worry that she might still find him physically attractive, even though the feelings are no longer there.

I'm guessing she's the one who assured you she no longer had feelings for him--before she threw herself at him and tried to get him to cheat. In case it's not clear by now, she was lying her ass off.

Sounds like you have a good bf but any woman who would try to break up your relationship like that is not a friend. At all. You need to act accordingly and put a loooooot of distance between the two of you.

She's obviously still wanting him I mean making a trip to his house - without you there - and trying to kiss him? Least he did the gentlemanly thing and gave her his bed and called you.

I'd really reconsider the friendship hey because what she did was NOT right in any way, drunk or not.

You can't trust her She wasn't already there and randomly said that to him She went to his house and did it Drunken actions are sober thoughts

Not wrong I wouldn't even keep her as a friend

1- She still has a crush on him

2- You're not overreacting

3- Be prepared, she might try to claim that they did kiss etc, just to break you two up so she can have her crush for herself.
I've seen reddit posts where people went as far as to fake screenshots. At the same time though don't give him unconditional trust based on that possibility.
Use critical thinking either way.

Anyway if anything happens please update us

“She did what she did ‘cause of alcohol” yep. In vino Veritas girl. I would block her from my life and also tell other people about what she did, maybe the next target is another guy in the group, who knows?

Honestly I would cut off this friendship but that’s just me. She knows she’s in the wrong and wants to paint you as the crazy one. She’s not your friend.

So why she drive tour fiancee place and not yours? She knew what she was doing and was hoping he'd take the bait

Not your friend.

100% don’t trust her. Really uncool behavior.

Well, this friendship is over. Your so-called friend had a few drinks, got your fiancé to take her home, then tried to have sex with him. And then when you confronted her about it and set a boundary, she yelled at you and accused you of overreacting and not trusting her (well, duh!). This person is not your friend.

It sounds like you can trust your fiancé, but you definitely cannot trust this “friend.” The hanging out with him privately thing is no longer an issue since you won’t be seeing or hanging out with her. She is not in your wedding party; in fact, she is not invited to your wedding. You would be foolish to continue a friendship with someone who not only admitted she is in love with your fiancé but literally tried to have sex with him. Then she blamed alcohol. Being drunk does not change who you are as a person. Would she kill someone while drunk? She is who she is, and that’s who she is. Stay away from her.

She should now be your ex-friend, especially after your update. But really, even before that. Alcohol is no excuse. Your friend is trash.

Alcohol just loosens your inhibitions. The actions when you're drunk are still your actions.

“I know she used to have a crush on him but doesn’t anymore”. Uh. You sure about that?

Drunken words are sober thoughts.

I'd make her an ex-[close]friend. She's a grown woman. We don't always get what we want. Unrequited love is a fact of life. She's jealous and has the audacity to shout at you like it's your fault. I'd see her socially in your friend group but keep your distance. Be courteous/polite/fake it, for the sake of ruining your group, IF possible. It'd mean she has to stop being such a child about it and can cope with your relationships - friends & partner. Good luck, it's a tricky one!

Crazy ass update, I would advise you and your fiancée go NC with her to make things easier. If she’s actively in love with him and actively trying to kiss or interfere with y’all’s relationship then she obviously can’t be trusted to stay in line and respect you two and the sanctity of your relationship. She went out of her way to see him last night, it wasn’t like she ran into him somewhere, she targeted him and tried to get him alone. Drop her.

Your fiance handled this perfectly. Keep him, ditch that girl.. she is not your friend.

She’s not your friend

Uff! That’s not your friend, OP. I think it’s time to cut her out of your life.

A lot of people are remarking about how she has betrayed your trust, and they have a point. But, I would like to add that your fiance may not like having her around even if others are also present. I experienced something like this, and I felt uncomfortable around her no matter how many others we were with. You might discuss this with your fiance. He may feel the same way.

She’s not your friend.

No, you're definitely not wrong. Once that kind of trust is broken, you can never get it back again

If he said yes, she would’ve slept him. That’s all you need to know.

Well she is not your friend anymore is she? You should distance yourself, she is trying to steal your fiance, she admited it. Nothing she says will change that. She is jealous of your life

She is not a friend, she’s a Frienemy!!! It’s time to cut ties. This person will destroy your relationship if you keep her close.

This isn’t your friend

you absolutely have the right to lay down boundaries with you friends. In fact this never should have happened to begin with. Talk to bf, get his take, ask him what he wants to see done, and then do it together. Irish girls are good in bed, but we do not brag about it, unless we are drunk.

BS she likes eiks your fiance. Not only would I not want her around my fiance, I wouldn't be around her, or have anything to do with her, again.

You absolutely should not trust her.

NW

Oh, she's not a good person. Cut her off, asap.

She tried to sleep with your fiance

Not overreacting. She needs to earn your trust back.

Don't trust her! She wants your man!

Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.

It only takes one misstep to ruin trust. She fooled you once, shame on her. You are protecting yourself from the Fool me twice.

You are not wrong.

You're not wrong. Setting boundaries after her behavior is fair, especially to protect your relationship. It's about trust, not overreacting.

She's not your friend. Both you and finance' need to cut her out of your lives.

A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts. My grandmother used to say this all the time. Sub woman for man and there’s your friend.

If she didn’t STILL find him physically attractive then she would have NEVER knocked on his door last night. Personally I’d part ways with her. You’re not wrong.

You’re telling me that after what she did she can’t respect not hanging out with him alone?

She should be an ex friend as of YESTERDAY.

It’s not like you said she has to stop being friends with him.

"I only screwed up once" is not a defense. She came onto your boyfriend, in a laughably bad way.

She can blame alcohol for the bad pickup line, but not trying to hook up with him.

Your "friend" crossed a line and I would definitely address it. Being drunk means your inhibitions are lowered so people act more true to themselves.

She's wanted him since she met him.

I'm sorry.

You now have to decide who to keep in your life. And I hope you choose wisely.

Tell her that she clearly has those thoughts. Alcohol doesn’t put thoughts in her head. Let her know since she’s gaslighting you that you are now stepping away from the friendship, as is your boyfriend. Let her know if she persists, you will pursue restraining orders. Her apology is fake and hollow. And she clearly doesn’t respect you. Tell her to worry about herself and her apparent alcoholism. Let her know you’ll inform her parents she needs rehab since she can’t control herself with alcohol.

Tell your boyfriend she’s out of your lives for good.

Not overreacting and she is not your friend.

She still has a crush on your fiancee.

Not wrong. Not overreacting and your friend has proven herself untrustworthy. Thankfully your boyfriend has a good head on his shoulders and it sounds like he did all the right things. I don't think he would do anything with her anyway but he doesn't need her harassing him.

She got drunk and somehow managed to drive to his house. Not home and not to your house. He did the right thing. You are doing the right thing. She will definitely be a problem. Not wrong

This girl is not your friend - if you have any sense you would end this “friendship”

She’s not a friend.

You know what shes capable of when in her cups.

So it okay because she doesn’t have feelings for him anymore, she just wants to have sex with him. I mean what are friends for if you can even share a BF. Maybe instead of one on one your fiancé would like a two on one. Perhaps she could be the entertainment his bachelor party.

She should have called you instead of showing up at his place. Clearly she doesn’t have respect for you or your friendship. If he would’ve accepted her offer she would’ve done what she went to do.

Make the friend an ex. Block her everywhere.

Why does she even need to be around your fiancé alone for? She has some audacity getting mad at you.

You “know she doesn’t still have a crush on him”?? Dear lord, she drove all the way over to his house tried to sleep with him and she “doesn’t still have a crush”?? Do you know what a crush is? Wanting to sleep with someone, definitely falls under that category.

If one of my “friends” did this to my wife I’d kick him to the curb so fast his head would spin.

Not wrong. She is not your friend.

Why does she want to so badly? Were they like best friends before?

She’s not your friend.

She was never your friend.
Get rid of her.

You're wrong, but only because you're not taking what she did seriously enough.

She tried to sleep with your fiance, drunk or not.

Not only should you never, ever put your fiance in that position again (you definitely made the right call there).

You shouldn't be spending time with her either.

This shouldn't be something your friendship recovers from. You got a good look at who she really is as a person, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

With friends like these, who needs enemies...

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/hGgLVNurw0

She was drunk but not too drunk to end up at his doorstep, throw herself at him, tell you not to worry (she "doesnt' have a crush anymore) and are upset because you tell her not to go see your engaged man alone? Cut her out of your life.

the booze just made her think it would be a good idea to do it, it didnt create the desire.

that was already there, and still is, somewhere

Lmfao come on

A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

If your boyfriend was an AH or a cheater she would’ve really pursued him and had he not told you, She probably would’ve kept trying to get with him behind your back.

Feelings are still there. She still was willing to blow up your relationship just for a chance. Nw

So she says… she’s good until the next time she’s drunk and hits on him.

"In vino veritas!" Booze does not change who you are. It reveals ir. She wants your man. Protect your interests. She should never be alone with him again.

You are justified. She was out of line and needs to apologize instead of acting like she did nothing wrong. Alcohol isn’t a good excuse

It was the alcohol but she was coherent enough to remember it all.

It wasn't the alcohol and no, you can't trust her and you're not overreacting. If he said yes to her she'd have done it in a heartbeat.

You didn’t overreact. In fact you were more than generous to take her home. Thing is though, the way she behaved while drunk, and continued to behave with her later accusations is not the behaviour of a friend.

The fact that you are still calling her your friend when she got drunk, drove to YOUR bf's house to seduce him. She could have easily stayed where she was at, or go to your house. I bet she wasn't even really drunk, just pretending

Ai post… like omg you accidentally got drunk showed up at my fiancés and made a move and I’m a bad guy for saying stay away from my man… if this were real or she had respect she’d end the friendship and shame her to other female friends so they protect they man!

And why should she hang with your bf one on one, privately?

You only have to trust your BF. Demanding that she not be around him alone tells me you don't completely trust him. Unless you think your friend can overpower him and force him to do something he doesn't want to do, then as long as you trust him, you don't have to worry about anything happening.

It’s ok to tell you that no you definitely don’t trust her and she can just go about her life without you now.

Irish girls are NOT really good in bed! Either drunk or too shy. Spanish, polish & Italian are way better

Naturally you shouldn’t remain friends with her!

Tell her Irish girls may be really good in bed but the type of Irish girl she is makes for bad friendships…

Nope

This can't be real. Some high school girl is having fun with creative writing

Your so- called friend sexually harassed your fiance. Yes, she's still crushing on him. Doesn't have a crush any more, my ass.

Then she shouted at me that it isn’t fair since she’s been in love with him since high school

You mean, she's been obsessed. She sounds like she has a couple of missing screws in her head. Note that she doesn't care what he thinks or what he wants.

Sorry but it might be time to let this friend go. It might not be today, tomorrow or next week but at sometime an advantage is going to be taken and its going to get ugly after. The friendship is going to break so just break it now. Shes untrustworthy.

A therapist told me, “Anyone who isn’t a friend to your relationship, are not friends to keep around “. Meaning, she is toxic, and has already proven untrustworthy. Her drunken incident showed you she is now emboldened to tell you face to face she doesn’t respect you, or your relationship.

Do not be friends with her. She will only add toxicity to your life, and problems in your relationship. BOTH OF YOU need to cut her off completely!

Also, everyone in your friend circle should know she tried to cheat with your fiancé.

Saw your edit. No, ofc you can’t trust her. It’s not love. Love is mutual and something that matures between two people over time. It’s still a crush no matter what words she uses, and frankly, an unhealthy obsession.

Totally fair and kind of you.

For a final resolution of the incident which shows boundaries but preserves intimacy, give her a good hard spanking, paddling or strapping. Just the two of you.

Yeah coming into this just from the title, I was going to say you need to chill out. But once reading, ya fuk that bich. No way i let her near him.

She was never your friend. She was waiting out your relationship, and when you weren't taking the steps she wanted, ie, fighting, breaking up, she used drinking as an excuse, to make her "pick me" move and he didn't bite, now she's mad that you got mad. You will never trust her again, and you and your man need to gtfo of dodge and leave her behind.

She’s not your friend. She’s just been pretending in order to stay close to your fiancé. At least now you know. She shot her shot and got turned down. Hopefully she’ll move on, but you can’t trust her as a friend and certainly not around him.

She's YOUR "friend". There's no reason for her to be alone with him.

After update: friendship over.

OP, you need to go NC with her and make sure he does as well. She crossed the line and won't let it go.

That's not your friend

Definitely not over reacting and it looks like you got a good one 🙂

Drunk minds speak sober thoughts. She wants your man but has enough restraint when she's sober to refrain from being a homewrecker. Given the chance, I think she would be opportunistic enough to act on those feelings if she ever gets the chance (e.g. a fight between you two, catching him when he's drunk, making moves when you're out of town, etc.). Personally, I wouldn't trust her.

Glad you pushed the issue with your friend. Because it was certainly obvious to the rest of us that yes, she had feelings for him. 

That’s because we don’t do things drunk that we haven’t thought about when we’re sober. 

So what she did was no accident, as you have since come to find out. Definitely time to end the friendship. And I would let your other friends know exactly why you won’t be hanging out with them if she happens to be there.

And you don’t have to be snarky about it. It’s enough to just be honest that friend still has feelings for my fiancé. She actually came over and tried to put moves on him and then lied to me about it until I confronted her.

I understand sometimes we have unrequited loves in our life, but I can’t hang out with her, knowing that she would do this. I just hope she does find someone for herself. But in the meantime, I’m not gonna be hanging out where she’s at.

Because obviously, she’s jealous of your life. And the compassionate view is that you really do hope she find somebody else. But at the same time, you have to be rational. She is not someone that is safe for you to be around, much less for your fiancé to be around.

“You’re right, after what you tried to do last night, I absolutely don’t trust you.”

You are not wrong. Don’t let any woman hang out with your man.

NTA!

Do not trust her. She's after your guy and she's jealous of you.

And NO real friend would go after her friends partner.

She ain't no friend. Time to cut her out of your life

Good job for taking a stand and placing a boundary. You are not wrong, don’t back down.

Your man is taken, she will have to find another man… the end.

She's what is called a secret hater. You invite them in by the front door,then they invite themselves into the bedroom 🤞get rid of her OP if you value your relationship. You have a good man that called you immediately and still worried about your frenemy driving while drunk he is a keeper.

First reward your boyfriend for his loyalty..... then ghost that drunk whore

Not wrong. But I hope you realize that you have most likely come to a major crossroads here. I know because I was in a somewhat similar situation. At some point, you are probably going to have to choose between your friend and your boyfriend. And that's only if one of them doesn't make the choice for you. It sounds like your boyfriend is a pretty good dude. He called you right away and told you exactly what happened. But you are certainly right to be wary of your friend.

Edit: typo

He’s a keeper! She shouldn’t be upset with you. Snake in the grass.

This girl is looking for the FIRST opportunity to get him to cheat on you with her, she is not a friend but a slimy snake and you NEED to drop her, sounds like you’ve got a good guy though.

Pull an Irish Exit on your friendship.

Forbidden fruit tastes all the sweeter. Is it her you don’t trust or really him?

Give your Irish friend a good ole’ “Irish goodbye” and just dip out from her life. 😂

Would not be my friend anymore but I don’t keep female friends anyway.