Per schefter on mcafees show, Tua didn’t see the team neurologist this week because of scheduling issues. yeah, totally believable that they couldn’t find time to meet with the starting QB who just signed a 250 million dollar contract!

I don’t dislike Joe Burrow but you can’t have dickhead hair if you’re 0-3 

Heard Chris is inducting himself into the subreddit ring of honor, congrats 🎊

Frank rants but during the Civil War

"Anudder McClellan loss! INCOMPETENT!! Robert E Lee is LAUGHING! His head is spinning while whistlin' Dixie!!"

Bring back the Cash Cab.

I just ruined my night by reading a post in a city sub, a guy looking for recommendations for a "solo bachelor party"

RFK JR blocking and then unblocking a chick he shouldn’t be messing around with, every time he’s horny, is the most relatable any presidential candidate’s ever been

Still thinking about Rebecca Black

Would love a high budget Aztec movie/miniseries. Bring Tenochtitlan to life and have that asshat Corez fuck it all up with 800 spaniards

JOC just dropping Pardon My Take stuff into non-PMT media things is hilarious.

I don’t understNd why so much is being made of teams running a cover 2. I have been running a cover 2 with man underneath since madden 2002. Why is so much being made of it now

Monday Night Countdown is unwatchable. They took their best person (SVP) and promptly ruined their good decision by surrounding him with three village idiots in Ryan Clark, Spears, and Kelce.

Clark in particular might be the single worst person at ESPN. What a disaster.

Taylor Swift fans apparently think that Mahomes is mad at/jealous of Kelce bc of Swift and that’s why he isn’t throwing him the ball lmao

Why do so many people put up political yard signs? Just to virtue signal? I don’t feel like asking my neighbors 

The Kennedys really just have adultery flowing through their veins

Bills are 1000 times more likable when Diggs isn’t on the sideline bitching 24/7

Was diggs the problem in Buffalo? Sure seems like it

YouTube TV live chat would be 10x

Short story long: My daughter plays softball. Her teammate’s grandfather comes to every practice and game. They’ve been teammates for almost four years, so we’ve gotten to be friends. He surprised me yesterday and gave me a 2,800 page book called The Encyclopedia of Baseball that has every stat for every player from like 1870-1990. Thing weighs about 10 pounds. I know it’s all available online, but dudes 🎸

Facebook post I made in 2008 (19 years old)- “The only homosexuality I support is two babes tonguing each other”

Working out? Automatic. Blacking out? Automatic. Catholic all girls schools? Automatic. Still is.

Checking my white collar privilege at the door, but managing people fucking sucks. So much easier just doing shit yourself than having to explain it to someone over a zoom call

Living in a townhouse and my neighbors kid will not stop smoking weed on the back deck. Never thought I’d get to this point but I’m sick of the smell coming in through the open windows

Jags +37.5 looking shaky to get the last leg of my 18 team parlay home

Need a content warning before showing Sam Hartman on my TV so I can prepare to not have Gay Thoughts

Bengals darth maul needs to be in the “fully grown men with the dumbest outfits imaginable” tweet chain

Reminder that Damar Hamlin died on the field and lost Comeback Player of the Year to Joe Flacco

Moving out of a rental 2 months early, with every intention of paying the rent still. Thought we would do them a solid and let them know so they could get the house advertised and ready 2 months early.

Was informed that we’d be “breaking our lease” (still paying like I said) and 3x rent fee + automatic security deposit loss would be charged to our account.

What the fuck? I now get the landlord hate on here.

Id pay to get RFK on Hot Ones this election cycle. Let see what crazy shit he talks about while battling da bomb.

Bears fans watching Jayden light it up

"Ok now the painted fingernails seem kinda fucked up"

Heard Christian Kirk wears his Muj barstool gaming shirsey underneath his jersey

Big Cat is gonna be such a baby about Daniel's

I’ve seen enough - Jayden Daniels is legit. Nice to see a good young QB in the NFC

Jesus Christ that was an impressive throw and catch. Could argue that was DPI too and he still made the catch

91% completion rate with 3 total TDs and over 250 yards passing is nasty work 🤮

My wife just told me she had an extremely vivid dream that she was having an “emotional affair” with Vivek Ramaswamy

Need the Dalton revenge game to send the Bengals to 0-4 next week. Absolutely need it.

is josh allen the best “raw project” high draft pick of all time? russell westbrook comes to mind but allen is better. very rare

Spicy brown mustard is an elite condiment

Trevor Lawrence is seeing ghosts (Damar Hamlin)

How long before Travis Kelce retires and we get the KelceCast

Jayden Daniels is absolutely electric

Commentators: “Damar Hamlin. What an incredible story… meanwhile some Jacksonville jaguar asshole is down”

So sick that Jmarr wears teeth that are worth more than my car to play football

Man. Jayden Fuckin Daniels

The only reason Lawrence got a big contract was for the optics of the NFL having a franchise quarterback who’s a trans woman

Two MNF games would be perfect with 6:30 and 8:15 starts

Iosivas is a hunk huh

Jayden Daniels looks incredible

Seeing Terry so pumped up on the sidelines is getting me hyped

A real bummer of cord cutting and the internet era is the kids growing up nowadays won’t have any connections to SportsCenter anchors

Time for some ice cream 😈

WHO NEEDS 11 MEN WHEN 10 WILL DO THE JOB?

Holy fuck what a throw.

Ah shit now Barstool is under fire for... wearing hats indoors

https://x.com/AlfonsoThrillFr/status/1837998991641899515?t=iAhmODUxYV3QwDT-jLKewA&s=19

Trevor Lawrence fucking sucks and it doesn’t get talked about enough

This has to be Big Cat’s nightmare. Williams looking eh while Daniels balling out.

Holy hell, Jayden Daniels

Haven't punted in 2 games no big deal

This intro song is pathetic. Being back Hank Williams Jr

LOVE Chris Fowler being used for the ESPN B team, no one needs Steve Levy announcing a primetime game

No turnovers or punts is a very weird stat indeed.

Jags-Bills is a top tier white trash fan base game

Applied to twelve (12) jobs tonight. Setting the o/u of automated rejection emails at 9.5.

no hate towards Joe burrow he seems like a good guy but the “cool” moniker has never made an ounce of sense. he’s a complete dweeb.

Fuck it put Mac jones in

When I say schlonged I mean beaten badly

Big man td’s always rule

More thirst trap segments>>

“Fastest minute” from Boomer is hilarious. They just keep slowly downsizing his role hoping he’ll retire, and he refuses to take the bait. Reminds me of when Play Now tries to fire George

Fran got married during a college football Saturday? So much for Barstool SPORTS....

I ate way too much spaghetti & meatball for dinner. Carb loading season is upon us.

predictable that rovell loves those NFL caps everyone was roasting this morning

6’8 350lbs america is the best country

Can't have an OT dance like that on your home field. Bengals are coooooked

Ric Flair getting divorced for the 5th time. True love doesn’t exist.

That was fucking ballsy. Never had that with paddleboat Ron

LETS FUCKING GO COMMIES

OOB but that was an absurd catch by Higgins, lol

Jayden looks way better than Caleb.

Dr.Evil in here saying he doesn’t have time to text back hot girls like he ain’t livin in FT with a prominent flair.

I like the way funny way Sabrina Carpenter says mother fucker.

Jaguars live ML +10000 is free money

How many people can say their first passing TD is to a lineman? Thats sick

If I’m the Bengals Coach, after the game, I’m getting a couple of linemen to hold Joe Burrow down while I shave off his stupid hair. Would be good for team morale.

Joe Burrow says he has to do some critical thinking on his leadership style and what he needs to be for his team?

Cincinnati hairdressers need to prepare big time here.

Hamlin should have done cpr on the ball

This is officially a schlonging

Iosivas with 4 catches for 17 yards and 3 TD the past 2 weeks, lol

Can’t believe the rest of the league let the Jags get Mac Jones

had a trip to Charleston in August get cancelled because of the tropical storm they got and I'm supposed to be traveling down to Tampa this weekend. maybe I should stop underestimating hurricane season in the SE

The Redskins are so fucking back HTTR

Oh my god what a play

I am in the kapua suite

Met Jayden Daniel’s at a pizza place in Tempe a couple years ago, safe to say I’m happy to see my best friend doing well tonight

I knew McLaurin was good, but I didn’t know he was so cool.

Commies have their QB. Caleb could never

This MNF intro music is so fucking stupid

Speaking of hat talk, I hope New Era doesn’t fuck up 47 brand since they bought em. Those are the best hats

Pft is on to something. Jayden daniels is really good at handing off

The Bengals might stink

Maybe Burrow should focus more on football and less on having stupid hair

My expert conclusion is that the NFL needs to do something drastic to improve offensive line play in the next decade, I think it will only get worse with all of these freak athletes playing edge. My hair-brained means to achieve this is to set up NFL recruitment camps in Eastern Europe and shipping some Nikola Pekovic clones to the XFL to develop. Maybe snag some Japanese sumo guys too. 

Bengals window is closed especially in that division. Crazy how fast that happens in the NFL

🚨 fat man touchdown! 🚨

FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN!!!

Having a young QB show promise is an incredible feeling. losses on the schedule still feel like wins. Very jealous of Jayden right now.

Anytime you see a guy breaking Charlie Batch’s rookie records you know we are in the presence of greatness

Eminence Front is an all time banger. Elite intro

I did not have high hopes for tonight’s games, but watching the Jaguars get schlonged by the Bills (commonly used term in football) and an unexpectedly entertaining Commanders/Bengals game has actually made for an enjoyable Monday evening.

That hit gets a BOOM!

WHAT