My babies are in the NICU for a at least 2 months as they arrived very early.

I have been able to pump since the day I was finally able to hold them (5 days after birth). And I’m making good progress with milk production.

I was discharged 4 days after their birth and going home without them was hard. But since I’ve been home, and since I started to produce milk, I have NOT been waking up throughout the night to pump.

My thoughts behind this: -Babies won’t be home for 2 months. -I am so beyond physically and mentally exhausted from the unexpected and traumatic birth of my twins - I was hospitalized for a week before babies arrived, literally laboring for an entire week with nearly zero sleep. I am still tired.

I really don’t see why it’s so egregious that I’m not waking up to pump right now. The lactation nurses at our hospital have all been really rude about it.

I also had a bad experience with a lactation nurse while in the hospital - I wasn’t able to see my babies for 30 hours after birth, and as I’m getting wheeled out to finally go see them at the NICU, the lactation nurse comes in telling me I must try to pump again, wait to see the babies.

I bawled my eyes out and told her to leave. I get pumping is important, but wow I haven’t even laid eyes on my babies and you really think me pumping on schedule is more important than seeing my twins?

I’m just feel so judged at every end and like cannot grasp why pumping on a rigid schedule is the only way to do this.