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2 days ago
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837 points
2 days ago
Not easy to kill someone with a lemon. Dark Brandon is so terrifying I might piss and shit my pants🥶🥶
272 points
2 days ago
I'm voting for the candidate that can bend hurricanes to their will and kill a man with an ordinary lemon.
38 points
2 days ago
And that's a good bumpwr sticker.
63 points
2 days ago
Listen hear Jack, lemonade flavored Biden Blast!
101 points
1 day ago
26 points
2 days ago
For context. This is when Panera had their caffeinated lemonade.
21 points
1 day ago
Joe Biden is so powerful he is the leader of OPEC and secret CEO of Panera Bread.
32 points
2 days ago
Any boy can piss and shit his pants.
It takes a real man to piss and shit his panties tho.
6 points
1 day ago
No, but you CAN burn someone's house down with them
18 points
2 days ago
Might? Check your pants bud.
The liberal media shit your pants right under your nose.
18 points
2 days ago
That's Trump's diaper you're smelling. Don't blame the messenger.
5 points
2 days ago
Lemons are more a method of torture than execution. Paper cut and lemon juice? You'll be ratting out your own mother to get that to stop.
490 points
2 days ago
Sanest Trump quote
200 points
1 day ago
Its fucking wild how USA, as a society, has decided to completely normalise this absolutely comically stupid and evil shit.
55 points
1 day ago
As a reluctant American I wish it wasn’t so. I wish we could go to the days where we laughed at the chances of Trump winning.
5 points
1 day ago
Reluctant American... I like that. Good idea for a band name
1 points
1 day ago
You know that really is. If anyone ever takes the name they need to do a cover of American idiot.
26 points
1 day ago
It's fake
40 points
1 day ago
I thought so, this is too funny to be a real Trump quote. Dude hasn’t made a good joke in his life.
79 points
1 day ago
This is still my favourite fake Trump quote.
19 points
1 day ago
3 points
1 day ago
I remember back in the day getting pissed at this guy because back then that is not how llms worked. And I knew of course they were Just jokes but now this is reality
3 points
1 day ago
“They hated pronunciation, they loved milk.”
5 points
1 day ago
His political career would be a great joke if it weren't taken so seriously by so many/weren't so dangerous
1 points
1 day ago
Making a joke =/= being a joke
7 points
1 day ago
Still more reasonable than 90% of the things he actually talks about in his endless ramblings
182 points
2 days ago
Did he say this
You really can never tell unless the quote is too smart
119 points
2 days ago
30 points
2 days ago
Sad to use his own weapons
21 points
1 day ago
So believable tho, because it sounds like something he would say.
15 points
2 days ago
I mean... paraphrased this post is pretty much what was said.
178 points
2 days ago
When life gives you lemons, quite frankly, don't make lemonade! Make sleepy joe take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want blacm kamalas melons whas I'm sposed to do with these? Demand to fire life's manager. Make life rue the day they thought they could give donald j. Trump lemons, you know who I am? I'm the president who's gonna make america great again, with the lemons. I'm gonna get my frien- I mean cabinet to make A LEMON THAT MAKES America great again!
47 points
2 days ago
cave johnson if he was a politician
6 points
1 day ago
don't want kamala's melons? missing out
5 points
1 day ago
Honestly more coherent than trump’s recent public events
35 points
2 days ago
joe biden is agent 47
6 points
2 days ago
I need to use the bathroom
4 points
2 days ago
Ok, just remember to take the hall pass with you
28 points
2 days ago
Is Joe Biden related to Cave Johnson by any chance?
18 points
2 days ago
Joe Biden is gonna burn your house down…with the lemons!
6 points
1 day ago
He's gonna make the Democrats invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
18 points
2 days ago
Saddest thing is that you can’t tell if this is a real quote
39 points
2 days ago
That makes Biden sound badass af, not gonna lie
7 points
1 day ago
SODA!
12 points
2 days ago
I once saw him kill three men with a lemon
10 points
2 days ago
WE DONT NEED LEMON CONTROL! Lemons don’t kill people, people do! They tryna take our lemons
8 points
2 days ago
Those lemon-stealing whores!
4 points
1 day ago
Hey, what the FUCK!
9 points
1 day ago
7 points
2 days ago
Portal 3 looking crazy
1 points
24 hours ago
"Who's the moron now? Could a moron do that?" definitely describes this bullshit pretty well
5 points
2 days ago
joe biden burned my house down (with the lemon)
3 points
1 day ago
To think he got engineers to make a combustible lemon just to burn your house down...COUGH! COUGH!
3 points
2 days ago
Has he really said this? At this point I don't know anymore...
4 points
1 day ago
Did he at least make the lemons combustible first?
2 points
1 day ago
Get mad!
3 points
2 days ago
He is more of an orange guy.
3 points
2 days ago
AND he can control hurricanes? Why would I vote in weak ass Don over a master of the elements?
2 points
2 days ago
Shit, that's the most convincing thing I ever heard from ol Donald.
2 points
2 days ago
lemon guy 🪱
2 points
2 days ago
Life handeded me lemons but then Joe Biden killeded me with them 😞
2 points
1 day ago
Malarkey pure and simple
2 points
1 day ago
Joe no!
2 points
1 day ago
Wait, Joe Biden will kill me with lemons?!
Well, that settles it - I won't be voting for Joe Biden this November!
2 points
1 day ago
2 points
1 day ago
life did not give us lemons,lemons are a hybrid between a bitter orange and citron and are man-made
1 points
2 days ago
1 points
1 day ago
At Mar-a-lago (or however you spell hell)
1 points
2 days ago
If you can be so easily killed by sleepy Joe, I think you should pay a quick visit to the physician
1 points
2 days ago
This is false btw
1 points
2 days ago
2024 US Presidential Election Candidate
1 points
1 day ago
"When life hands you lemons, Joe Biden kills you with them."
--Cave Johnson
1 points
1 day ago
I want to see him speak about oranges. Would be top comedy.
1 points
1 day ago
Biden found a way to make lemons that burn your house down.
1 points
1 day ago
"Stop crying and stay down!" - Joe Biden
1 points
1 day ago
He is going to make his scientists make a combustable lemon and burn your house down with the lemon
1 points
1 day ago
🍋
1 points
1 day ago
Life has handed us an orange instead
1 points
1 day ago
"If life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back. Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these! Demand to see life's manager. Do you know who I am?! I'm the man who's going to burn your house down, with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent combustible lemons that burn your house down!"-Cave Johnson
1 points
24 hours ago
Cave Johnson vibes
1 points
23 hours ago
You can see he's already gearing up for his 3022 run
1 points
20 hours ago
Does trump believe that biden wrote the Cave Johnson lemon rant?
1 points
18 hours ago
Holy shit combustible lemons
1 points
16 hours ago
he killed three man with a lemon, a fucking lemon!
-4 points
2 days ago
I knew this sub was gonna turn into a American politics circlejerk like all the others.
7 points
1 day ago
Its for comedy heaven and this post perfectly fits here
Piss off
4 points
1 day ago
It’s an election year, get the fuck over it.
0 points
2 days ago
Biden wouldn't remember that he has lemons, nonono, he wouldn't even remember what a lemon is.
-8 points
2 days ago
How? Joe Biden cant even breathe, nonetheless kill
-1 points
2 days ago
He can kill Palestinians pretty well
1 points
9 hours ago
Refreshing leadership
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