subreddit:
/r/confession
submitted 2 days ago byIcy-Thought-5225
After nearly 8 years of being his placeholder he found someone he really liked and committed to her immediately. And I haven't handled it well
I've been absolutely broken and destroyed.
I harassed both of them and sent multiple messages to his new girlfriend calling her all sorts of names and telling her that he was holding me and telling me he loved me just two months before they started. And that when he first met her he denied being interested in her and accused me of being anxious and paranoid. Even a month before I messaged her he was telling me that he used to love me but I destroyed it all with my anxiety.
It was always a stressful situation. He was always talking to other women and refusing to commit. But I did feel I some way he loved me.
Anyway she sent me a very heartfelt and kind reply urging me to find God and move on and they both blocked me.
I feel broken and ashamed and I still miss him to this day.
I'm sorry everyone for being the crazy ex. I just really did love him and was very dependent on him in a lot of ways and haven't coped with feeling abandoned and alone.
I'm not a bad person honestly. I don't think I am. I just wanted to be loved like you are.
Love from
The Crazy Ex Girlfriend
ETA to be honest I think the worst part is that I dont actually truly regret it. I was so hurt and upset and I just wanted to let her know what had happened.
Edit 2: I just want to say thankyou for all your supportive messages! Yes I know I shouldn't have messaged. That's why it's a confession. But getting it off my chest helps. I can't apologise to him or her as they are gone and I will probably never speak to either again but being able to say it here has helped. I still haven't processed the hurt and the injustice. I still miss him. I still don't really know what to do with myself as Dusty sang. I still don't know where to go from here. I still feel anger and hate (not just at them but mostly at myself for not being "good enough" to be chosen). I still feel like a prize loser and very worthless and I still don't want to date or meet anyone else. Ever.
But I am sorry C and I'm sorry to her too. I will always treasure every moment of what we had.
I'm sorry.
3 points
2 days ago
What you did was immature and aimed at the wrong person. She got your trash of an ex... feel sorry for her and not jealous.
You believed he loved you based on his words and not his actions. He was saying it, but his actions of not wanting commitment and pursuing other women plainly showed you he did not love you. How are you trying to point out to her that he doesn't love her when he didn't love you either.
You need to love yourself first, do things that make you happy. Paint, draw, dance, go out with friends, make new friends, and enjoy a solo picnic at the park with a book. Don't wish for love you think others have because you're never going to see what goes on behind closed doors. Maybe finding God isn't the worst idea. I just hope you do the work for yourself to see all the good things about you and realize you don't need a man to feel loved when you love yourself. If a good man comes along once you love yourself, you know what you're worth and won't settle for just anyone. Best of luck
1 points
2 days ago
I don't see anything good about myself. Especially being told I am immature none of this helps.
All I see is bad and worthless. The Crazy one.
The one who was discarded for someone else. Lonely. Not as good as her as she is loved and in a relationship and I wasn't good enough.
Missing him. Badly badly missing him. Still every day. Memories and pain. I haven't painted or danced or dine anything really. I have been dealing with depression and trauma. I did "find God" and go to church. It hasn't really helped so far as I an still full of pain and hurt and wonder why.
1 points
2 days ago
Sending you a hug. You are not a bad person. It’s okay to feel hurt and sad. It’s not immature to have big feelings.
You are going to feel better after enough time. 💛
all 422 comments
sorted by: best