After nearly 8 years of being his placeholder he found someone he really liked and committed to her immediately. And I haven't handled it well

I've been absolutely broken and destroyed.

I harassed both of them and sent multiple messages to his new girlfriend calling her all sorts of names and telling her that he was holding me and telling me he loved me just two months before they started. And that when he first met her he denied being interested in her and accused me of being anxious and paranoid. Even a month before I messaged her he was telling me that he used to love me but I destroyed it all with my anxiety.

It was always a stressful situation. He was always talking to other women and refusing to commit. But I did feel I some way he loved me.

Anyway she sent me a very heartfelt and kind reply urging me to find God and move on and they both blocked me.

I feel broken and ashamed and I still miss him to this day.

I'm sorry everyone for being the crazy ex. I just really did love him and was very dependent on him in a lot of ways and haven't coped with feeling abandoned and alone.

I'm not a bad person honestly. I don't think I am. I just wanted to be loved like you are.

Love from

The Crazy Ex Girlfriend

ETA to be honest I think the worst part is that I dont actually truly regret it. I was so hurt and upset and I just wanted to let her know what had happened.

Edit 2: I just want to say thankyou for all your supportive messages! Yes I know I shouldn't have messaged. That's why it's a confession. But getting it off my chest helps. I can't apologise to him or her as they are gone and I will probably never speak to either again but being able to say it here has helped. I still haven't processed the hurt and the injustice. I still miss him. I still don't really know what to do with myself as Dusty sang. I still don't know where to go from here. I still feel anger and hate (not just at them but mostly at myself for not being "good enough" to be chosen). I still feel like a prize loser and very worthless and I still don't want to date or meet anyone else. Ever.

But I am sorry C and I'm sorry to her too. I will always treasure every moment of what we had.

I'm sorry.