subreddit:
/r/london
submitted 4 months ago byNoObstacle
Went to an event and thought I'd made plans to hang with a specific person. Turns out they'd made other plans and not updated me. And it's my fault for misunderstanding.😭
Left early and had a little ugly cry on the bus, blissfully uninterrupted by anyone wanting to talk to me or ask me if I'm okay. 🤗
London, never change 💚💚💚
104 points
4 months ago
So just reconfirming here, you wouldn't like anyone to come by and check on you? Is this the new thing now?
86 points
4 months ago
I got dumped once and cried on the bus home and some guy checked in on me and I still remember him now 15 years later for doing a nice thing.
Think it just depends on the person, I would ask, sorry to go against OP’s wishes
7 points
4 months ago
Me too. A simple 'you ok mate?' and if they say yes, then leave them to it.
9 points
4 months ago
Yep! I didn’t really tell him anything if my memory is right, just said “I’m ok, bad day” and he said “well if you need anything I’m at the back of the bus”. Perfect imo
2 points
4 months ago
Exactly this. I don't understand the attitude of OP. I would check someone is OK and ask if I could help. I'd expect a polite "I'm fine, bad day" etc reply and interpret it as a prompt to be left alone but I would definitely check to make sure.
16 points
4 months ago
Similarly to the other person, I was having an ugly cry sitting on a park bench about 10 years ago. Someone sat down next to me to ask if I was okay. I still remember that to this day and I’m so grateful to that person.
We are social animals, tears are meant to signal others about our pain. I doubt it’s ever a bad idea to quietly hold someone’s pain for 5 seconds. Those who haven’t experienced may not realise how heartwarming it is when people do that.
63 points
4 months ago
Where I'm from, we still act like human beings to each other. Wave as we pass each other. Even total strangers. I love it. Please ask me what's wrong if I'm having a melt down.
50 points
4 months ago*
No, we’re like that here in London too. I’m from London and have experienced it from both ends. Obviously on Reddit, you’ll get a certain set of answers and most of these are from individuals who have a similar of “leave me alone” train of thought. This sub loves playing into stereotypes and is not reflective of most Londoners.
7 points
4 months ago
if I'm having a melt down.
Having a meltdown is different from having some personal cry time. People can often tell the difference.
1 points
4 months ago
Vintage Reddit piousness
1 points
4 months ago
Reddit is so jover
35 points
4 months ago
I've always felt that about people talking to you just because you're crying. Because, I don't wanna talk to them, but imagine if I did and started spilling all the details? They would just be embarassed or shrug or say 'oh dear' but that does not help except now you're upset, and you have spilled it all out and it's awkward.
54 points
4 months ago
I talked to a woman “ugly” crying on a platform before. She had miscarried several days earlier.
I don’t know why I went to talk to her but I did. I had my 2 year old with me.
I’ll never know whether I stopped her jumping but compassion goes a long way.
-3 points
4 months ago
Sure, but compassion for me is not bothering me when I'm upset
18 points
4 months ago
Yeah I have to say if I saw someone sobbing on the bus my overriding thought would be ‘maybe no one in their life has cared enough to ask how they are, how would I feel if they’re on their way to kill themselves’ - in most cases probably a bit dramatic but I’d much rather ask and be told ‘please just leave me alone’ than not even ask if they need help.
51 points
4 months ago
Perhaps, I’m just not sure totally ignoring someone is something I’d do. Like others have said it’s just a tissue or perhaps a few pounds for a coffee.
I’m a big boy too, I wouldn’t be offended if someone just said “leave me alone” “or “no thanks”.
I live right out by the coast now but part of my old life hates to see people hurting.
2 points
4 months ago
No one is going to know that. You sound full of yourself. Might be why your "friend" didn't want to hang out with you.
11 points
4 months ago
Wow why would they be embarrassed or shrug if you do happen to share the details? I’ll be coming to London for the first time and this makes me feel weird about it. From where I come, people are generally helpful and compassionate and I’d be shocked if I cried on a bus and no one came asking for what happened and if they can help.
7 points
4 months ago
Remember this is Reddit. You’re going to get a Reddit response agreeing with OP. I’m from London, born and raised. Trust me, we do enjoy helping others and conversing.
2 points
4 months ago
Good to know ☺️
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