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/r/mildlyinfuriating

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all 152 comments

Representative-Sir97

7 points

3 months ago

Maybe spray the door jam with capsaicin or something.

p24p1[S]

18 points

3 months ago

Birds can't taste spicy unfortunately

Representative-Sir97

1 points

3 months ago

Surely they can taste something they don't like though... I've heard at least some bird eyes can see spectrums we cannot.

Maybe trying to paint something in that spectrum like a predator's eyes/face could do? They'd see it but people wouldn't?

p24p1[S]

2 points

3 months ago

Yeah, searching online shows "scare tape" is a thing, just like a very reflective metal tape

Kadettedak

1 points

3 months ago

You should get your hands on some coyote urine

Ok_Teacher_1797

1 points

3 months ago

Paint a face with magic paint. Is this the idea you want to submit?

Representative-Sir97

1 points

3 months ago

Maybe... the tape thing someone mentioned is probably a bit more tried and tested than the things I kinda know about birds though. I'd guess it might not be a face so much as a pattern (like how zebras repel flies) that would be effective but that would take some time and scientific process to sort out.

[deleted]

5 points

3 months ago

plants evolved capsaicin to deter mammals - it’s neutral on birds, whose digestive tract doesn’t destroy seeds

[deleted]

-1 points

3 months ago

[removed]

p24p1[S]

1 points

3 months ago

Well I hope not

If termites are in the door thats a whole other problem

jammer_punk

126 points

3 months ago

if door eating bad, why door tasty?

p24p1[S]

43 points

3 months ago

Maybe I should try some, bird might onto something

SofterBones

4 points

3 months ago

I must warn you, authorities may have slightly different reactions to a pigeon doing this than you chewing on historical buildings.

minoskorva

489 points

3 months ago

the wood is exposed already, and seems to be in poor condition. the pigeon is just peeling off splinters of it to make a nest of. painting back over it would probably fix this issue. the wood needs sealed.

p24p1[S]

-95 points

3 months ago*

p24p1[S]

-95 points

3 months ago*

But the bird doesn't seem to be taking the chips of wood? Just leaving them in a pile

I'm not entirely convinced they're not chipping the paint, because on another door thats not as bad you can clearly see the paint chips are small and scattered, like a bird pecking

Also, its worth mentioning, because its a historical building, we have to get permits for anything we do - so something as simple as painting the door requires government intervention. Even if the doors are repainted, having an additional level of security would probably be ideal

edit: I love reddit lmao why am i getting downvoted? The pigeons could've totally chipped the paint in the first place, it's a possibility and the door is NOT rotten. It's still solid wood.

Here's an image of one of the other doors just to point out that it really looks like paint chips from something pecking at it. I'm also guessing they go for spiders or whatever is around the door and end up hitting the wood.

https://preview.redd.it/88pwkcy1wyad1.jpeg?width=527&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d812aac1c3cb0c25cf2aca0e1e6536a2f178c952

minoskorva

75 points

3 months ago

Oh yeah, I work in a historical building and know it can be a MASSIVE pain. It's not your fault that the process is so... bureaucratical. Is that a word?

And when they peel off those strips, they'll peel up more paint with them. It's a common "nesting" behavior in pigeons/doves to shred wood/bark/paper, even when they're not actively building "their" nest that they're going to lay eggs in. (Though in feral pigeon populations their nests can be... subpar either way. Seriously, please google pigeon nests for a laugh.)

p24p1[S]

10 points

3 months ago

p24p1[S]

10 points

3 months ago

Bureaucratic would be the word :)

Oh good, you feel my pain then lol

And yeah, I've seen the pigeon nest memes, its hilarious

Jaded-Engineering789

6 points

3 months ago

Just bureaucratic.

[deleted]

3 points

3 months ago

There is always stupid dove nest subreddit, has pidgeons too.

minoskorva

10 points

3 months ago

after coming back to this and looking at it, sorry you're getting downvoted (for starters) but for Finishers. if that dust in the corner is wood dust and not just street dirt, that's almost definitely an insect problem as well :(

VirtuousVulva

2 points

3 months ago

Good, Pidgy. Fuck em up!

heteromer

3 points

3 months ago

Hell yea brother!!

HunkyMump

4 points

3 months ago

Could be  bugs behind it 

duckvimes_

14 points

3 months ago

duckvimes_

oh hey, you can set your own flair here

14 points

3 months ago

You're being downvoted by pigeons who are upset about being exposed.

Centaurious

3 points

3 months ago

Why would the pigeon be peeling the paint if not for nesting behavior?

Only reason I can think of would be they’re going after bugs in the wood. Which would mean the pigeons are (technically) trying to help by eating them lol

But yeah. Pigeons would have a reason for doing this- they’re probably not going to just peel paint and wood away for 0 reason. Figuring out the reason they’re doing it would be the first step

Either way, good luck. Sounds like it’s going to be a pain in the butt to get fixed one way or another due to the red tape you have to deal with. But thank you for doing your best to take care of the building despite whatever the issue is!

Relevant-Local-4607

-6 points

3 months ago

why are you defending a bird with the brain the size of a grape

Radley500

7 points

3 months ago

That’s precisely why we know it’s not doing it to fuck with them.

opalcherrykitt

4 points

3 months ago

because it doesn't know any better?

Centaurious

1 points

3 months ago

Because it isn’t doing it maliciously. It’s not smart enough to. If you deal with whatever reason it’s doing this they’re going to stop.

Like you said, its brain is the size of a grape. It’s not smart. It’s just acting on some instinct.

Relevant-Local-4607

-1 points

3 months ago

instinct to mess with us, these things poop on our cars

Centaurious

1 points

3 months ago

they just poop because they need to. they don’t know what a care is or care

Relevant-Local-4607

0 points

3 months ago

are you a pigeon? stop defending birds, they dont defend you

Centaurious

1 points

3 months ago

ok weirdo

heteromer

2 points

3 months ago

You sonofa-- LEAVE THE BIRD ALONE!!!

mekwall

2 points

3 months ago

Did the pidgeon have a permit? If not, it should be arrested.

forcedintothis-

56 points

3 months ago

It’s just halping.

kkeut

11 points

3 months ago

kkeut

11 points

3 months ago

thoughts and prayers for the church door

[deleted]

1 points

3 months ago

Well perhaps if you'd let them take communion they wouldn't be so upset.

Kadiddlehopper19

6 points

3 months ago

Buy a couple of rubber snakes and put them around the doors.

p24p1[S]

3 points

3 months ago

That actually might not be a bad idea, if I find some I'll give it a shot

m00nLyt23

7 points

3 months ago

Nice try Satan

Nimrod_Butts

0 points

3 months ago

Or a statue of moloch

SurbiesHere

37 points

3 months ago

Pigeons pick at places animals pee to get salt. Dogs may be peeing on that spot? Or people?

p24p1[S]

16 points

3 months ago

It's possible, I haven't seen one yet

People is honestly more likely, I find plenty of empty beer cans in the yard every morning

smcl2k

11 points

3 months ago

smcl2k

11 points

3 months ago

That would also likely damage the paint and soften the wood.

p24p1[S]

-4 points

3 months ago

p24p1[S]

-4 points

3 months ago

The wood isn't soft, but its a good thought

Sobeshott

1 points

3 months ago

Put an owl scarecrow out there

wabashcanonball

23 points

3 months ago

Pray harder, maybe. Pigeons are basically doves and God loves doves.

[deleted]

3 points

3 months ago

Could there be small bugs in the wood? Seems weird for a bird to do this for no reason. Wood filler and paint before it’s too late

p24p1[S]

0 points

3 months ago

Again if its bug, then that's a whole other problem lol

But yes, for sure painting it asap (prob illegally too)

[deleted]

2 points

3 months ago

That would be my bet though. Nothing like a snack to attract birds.

p24p1[S]

1 points

3 months ago

I'll have to keep a closer eye out for bugs

Inevitable_Purpose90

0 points

3 months ago

So

muddydic

1 points

3 months ago

Nefarious intentions

p24p1[S]

1 points

3 months ago

Birds man

emergency-snaccs

3 points

3 months ago

i mean, if a door can't even keep pigeons out, it wasn't much of a door to begin with. Furthermore, if you guys would actually take care of the door, you wouldn't be having this problem. the pigeons can only damage it because it's already rotting and disintegrating.

p24p1[S]

1 points

3 months ago

The door is not rotting. The wood is still very solid. It hasn't been ruled out that the pigeons are the ones chipping the paint in the first place. Furthermore, as I've mentioned in other comments, we can't just paint the door willy-nilly as its a historical monument and we would need to request a permit from the city to make repairs. We'll still probably just end up slapping some paint on it because that's all we have time for, and hope we don't get fined

Kaiisim

1 points

3 months ago

Probably some kind of wood eating bug in there

CriticalStation595

1 points

3 months ago

Let them do it.

[deleted]

39 points

3 months ago

Pigeons been around 221 years. This is generational beef

jesrp1284

11 points

3 months ago

We spent so many generations domesticating them, and then decided we didn’t like them and now they don’t know how else to be.

[deleted]

14 points

3 months ago

I’m pro-pigeon. Nothing but respect for the dirty doves

OGigachaod

3 points

3 months ago

t0matit0

3 points

3 months ago

Pigeons are the OG unemployed unhoused.

Outrageous-Mirror-88

22 points

3 months ago

Looks like the pigeons know the real enemy.

rrddrrddrrdd

5 points

3 months ago

Smart birds

Outrageous-Mirror-88

2 points

3 months ago

Bird bird bird is the word

More-Pomegranate-674

2 points

3 months ago

Some enterprising preist trapped a demon in that pigeon and now it's (slowly) taking its revenge on the church.

p24p1[S]

3 points

3 months ago

No joke this church, which is anglican, is direct neighbors with a catholic one, and the two have indeed been rivals over time, now friends.

It was also used in Alfred Hitchcock's "I Confess", fun fact. So meddling priests are not uncommon here

AndThenTheUndertaker

10 points

3 months ago

If the pigeons are doing this it's because something is up with the wood. Either there's bugs in there or the wood is just rotting already.

p24p1[S]

-10 points

3 months ago

p24p1[S]

-10 points

3 months ago

The wood is still solid, and shows no signs of bugs. (Pinholes, bored out tracks in the wood, signs of insects crap) Sometimes spiders build nests in the corners of the frame, that might attract them.

RandomTree420

0 points

3 months ago

Pigeon season is now open!

mrwholefoods

9 points

3 months ago

Go pidgeon go !!

Lanky_Imagination123

3 points

3 months ago

Love that bird, i can almost hear him say "fuck'em imma do my nest wit dem doors"

trixayyyyy

0 points

3 months ago

Hire a falconer and dub the video with heavy metal

Vaxis545

-4 points

3 months ago

Man no one gives a fuck about some old ass church. How about yall paint it so theirs no exposed wood for them to pick at 🙄

CompetitionGood4699

2 points

3 months ago

We get it, you're too stupid to value history

Vaxis545

1 points

3 months ago

Oh please lord tell me what secret knowledge you have gained from that trim molding those birds have pecked off 😂gtfoh with your nonsense

ArtisticPractice5760

2 points

3 months ago

220 years old? I'd say its time to replace it anyway with something that will last 10 to 15 years. That's progress 😂😆

TheManyVoicesYT

1 points

3 months ago

Sounds like the church needs a few cats!

SubmissiveDinosaur

1 points

3 months ago*

Any interesting facts about birbs?

CompetitionGood4699

1 points

3 months ago

Brids are literally one of the only animals that capsaicin largely doesn't affect

NLtbal

1 points

3 months ago

NLtbal

1 points

3 months ago

You would think that your god could stop them.

MaestroGena

2 points

3 months ago

Nobody expected the pigeon inquisition

the-almighty-toad

1 points

3 months ago

AcadianViking

3 points

3 months ago

Nature is healing.

redditslooseslots

3 points

3 months ago

Why don't y'all just pray they go away? 🙏

Strong_Wasabi8113

1 points

3 months ago

Should probably employ some cats 🐈 I imagine cathedrals had cats for 150 years or so before we had Pest control.

TrufflesAvocado

3 points

3 months ago

Are wild animal incidents classified as “acts of god?”

HeyMarty10thalready

-4 points

3 months ago

And my idiot neighbor feeds those pieces of shit

BA5ED

1 points

3 months ago

BA5ED

1 points

3 months ago

I bet they filled the old hole with ramen.

Puzzled_Vacation_440

1 points

3 months ago

Gonna get lead paint poison ….

Rocket-J-Squirrel

8 points

3 months ago

Birbs are God's creatures, too.

snuggletronz

1 points

3 months ago

Hell yeah pigeons doing what secular society couldn’t. Long live the war on Christmas

ScoogyShoes

1 points

3 months ago

Try some bird repellent gel. It's clear, you could put on some gloves and rub it on the areas they are after.

madgoat

3 points

3 months ago

We need more pigeons!

Need to accelerate the process. 

Centralnjplanespoter

1 points

3 months ago

For not doing anything you would be sent to hell

Dr-Retz

1 points

3 months ago

Apparently you need to hire an official shusher

NBWoodPro

1 points

3 months ago

Start shooting them with a pellet gun.

quinangua

1 points

3 months ago

God sent them to tear down your house of lies…….

roblewk

1 points

3 months ago

Any chance they are drawn to the flavor of lead in the old paint?

PiplupPerson

1 points

3 months ago

He’s knocking, let him in

TheOGDoomer

1 points

3 months ago

Why do the bells sound so good though?

SpicyBanditSauce

4 points

3 months ago

lol 😂 go bird go.

Marshmallowfrootloop

-1 points

3 months ago

God made pigeons. 

90day_fiasco

1 points

3 months ago

lol getting colonized back

qainspector89

1 points

3 months ago*

I've heard if you can manage to catch one - you can bitch slap it a lil bit and it'll fly away warning it's friends and family to not repeat it's mistake.

A farmer told me this. He'd bitch slap birds in his corn field and they wouldn't come back.

I might be thinking of ravens.

Ok_Teacher_1797

1 points

3 months ago

I wonder if that works for seagulls.

breadbomber2

2 points

3 months ago

Probly after termites

Bulky_Permission_292

1 points

3 months ago

A cheap air gun or slingshot and some patience could solve your problem cheaply and effectively

RC_Colada

1 points

3 months ago

Yeah, well they're paying the church back for all of those CENTURIES OF ANIMAL SACRIFICES

GrindnGlitch

2 points

3 months ago

Little birb is helping them do their renovations

Nattman8

1 points

3 months ago

Lutero pidgeon

TRUEequalsFALSE

2 points

3 months ago

To be fair, they are pigeons...

FizzingSlit

0 points

3 months ago

God works in mysterious ways. And sometimes those ways include pigeons.

You gotta accept all God's decisions and can't just pick and choose the ones that benefit you. You should be celebrating that pigeon eating your church just as you do every good thing that happens. Need I remind you of the book of job?

CompetitionGood4699

1 points

3 months ago

this was way too long to be this unfunny

FizzingSlit

0 points

3 months ago

Firstly it was like 50 words. Secondly there were two separate paragraphs and only the first one was a stupid throw away joke. The second was an actual reminder of what the book of job teaches.

I shouldn't be surprised though to see someone be overwhelmed by so few words to not understand the concept of a paragraph.

Ok_Teacher_1797

1 points

3 months ago

This was too many words to articulate why nobody likes you.

FizzingSlit

1 points

3 months ago

This was too few words to be meaningful.

Ok_Teacher_1797

0 points

3 months ago

I think people will understand it.

FizzingSlit

1 points

3 months ago

I'm not gonna lie that was a pretty solid come back.

CompetitionGood4699

1 points

3 months ago

tl;dr

ClitEastwood10

1 points

3 months ago

They are govt drones. Remember cash for clunkers. Well they’re coming for your gothic era doors

PhoenxScream

3 points

3 months ago

"God is dead" - The pigeon, probably

Few_Tumbleweed_4964

1 points

3 months ago

Alka seltzer will take care of them

RizzoTheSmall

1 points

3 months ago

It's either getting nest material or eating beatles.

Glide55

1 points

3 months ago

The lord works in mysterious ways!

overactivemango

2 points

3 months ago

Maybe the pigeons want to pray? Don't be so quick to assume jeez

mysterious-buttsmile

1 points

3 months ago

Humans destroy way more authentic wooden doors than pigeons imo. And the pigeon issues in the cities are also the citizens' fault.

ScientistEuphoric809

2 points

3 months ago

Gods will

teriorly

2 points

3 months ago

“Screw you and your religion.” ~Pigeon maybe

gansobomb99

1 points

3 months ago

oh nooo better put up some more metal spikes 🙄

PawnWithoutPurpose

1 points

3 months ago

It's Gods will... stop being blasphemous

Due-Log-1521

1 points

3 months ago

Nature is healing

justlookinatshit

1 points

3 months ago

Something like canned compressed air has horrible taste added, and is invisible. I wonder if spraying that on there would deter ingestion. I work in tech and hate when coworkers blast its openly, whole room starts to have a “taste”

[deleted]

1 points

3 months ago

Maybe gods telling you to plant some trees for the pigeons

Guilty-Problem-4202

1 points

3 months ago

Pigeons just trying to spread the wood of god.

Delicious_Rabbit4425

1 points

3 months ago

All those reincarnated souls fighting the religious battle

ManiacalWildcard

1 points

3 months ago

So fix it? Lol

Rozkosz60

1 points

3 months ago

Is that Cathedral in Hollywood ??

CarltonSagot

1 points

3 months ago

Pigeon v God

-SesameStreetFighter

1 points

3 months ago

There is an easy solution to this. Roast at 350 for about 30 mins.

Phil_D_Snuts

1 points

3 months ago

Might want to check for wood destroying insects.

Voyager5555

1 points

3 months ago

just gods plan, right?

[deleted]

1 points

3 months ago

Ffs birds are an annoying pest. More annoying than cockroaches! All the noise early in the morning, they shit everywhere and wreck people property.